"Just try it once. Just once. Only once..."
Elliot gently ran his fingers over the mask, his heart trembling with inner conflict. He longed to use its power again, yet dreaded the backlash that might follow—something he might not survive.
But if he didn't try... he would regret it.
He didn't know whether his hunch was right or wrong, but he was inclined to believe he was right. The System wouldn't be so kind as to assign him a place like this purely for rest. There had to be another purpose behind it.
For over a hundred years, Elliot had searched for the meaning of this land without success. But this time, he thought he might have found the answer. To confirm it, however, he would have to use the mask's power.
"Should I use it... What if I'm wrong? What if I lose control..."
"Should I kill myself?"
"But... I promised them I'd come back..."
"If I don't kill myself, I'll completely lose control. I'll destroy everything."
"What should I do..."
Elliot rose anxiously and began pacing back and forth. His heart churned violently as he wrestled with the decision, searching desperately for another solution.
"My mission... My mission is to participate in the Archon War. Does that mean just taking part is enough to complete it? Or must I wait until the Archon War ends for it to count as finished?"
"If it's the former, then I've already completed it. That means even if I kill myself, it's fine—I'll return."
"No... if it's the former, that would be far too easy. The Archon War began ages ago. If mere participation were enough, I would've completed the mission in its earliest stages."
"So, the mission must be the latter..."
"If I have to wait until the Archon War ends for it to count as complete, then giving up on life—or letting it slip away—would still mean failure. What should I do then?"
"The ninth life... This is already my ninth life... I can't afford to fail again. I can't fall here, not at the end. I have to complete the mission. I have to survive..."
"Should I try or not? If I don't, I can stay here peacefully and wait for the Archon War to end. That way, I can return and complete the mission. Logically, that should be the best choice."
"But if I don't try... Guizhong and Marchosius will be in danger."
"After the Archon War, no true gods will remain except the Seven Archons. That means once it ends, the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles will purge the defeated gods. Guizhong and Marchosius won't be spared—they'll be among those purged."
"What should I do... What should I do..."
"If I try, I might be able to win them a sliver of hope. But if I'm wrong and the karmic debt consumes me, I'll lose control."
"If I kill myself before that happens, taking the karmic debt with me, the mission fails—I'll never return. But if I don't kill myself, the karmic debt will destroy everything."
"Is there another way..."
"Could I wait until the day before the Archon War ends to try?"
"That way, even if I fail, as long as I can endure until the war's end, the mission will still count as complete."
"But how can I accurately predict when the Archon War will end? They said a thousand years—but not exactly a thousand. Even if it was, I've forgotten when it began. It's been hundreds of years since then."
"Would there be some kind of warning? Maybe a month or a week before it ends?"
"No... In the Eighth Reincarnation, there was no warning. Baal received a direct message from Celestia to claim the Gnosis."
"And in Sasayuri's memories, there was no sign of any message from Celestia either."
"Or... maybe that warning only goes to the gods, not their followers. Back then, I was Sasayuri—Zebul's follower—so it's natural I wouldn't know. Maybe Zebul and Baal did receive the warning."
"Think, Elliot, think... There has to be a way. I can't gamble anymore—I don't have anything left to wager. If I lose, everything will be gone... This is already my ninth life... I can't lose!"
"But if I don't try, Guizhong and Marchosius..."
"How should I choose..."
"Does it... really matter whether I go back or not?"
"They're both fine now. Whether I return or not doesn't matter anymore, does it?"
"Or... maybe I should just break the contract. It wouldn't be the first time anyway..."
"But I really want to go back... I'm so tired... I want to go back..."
"I want to go back... I really, truly want to go back... Even if it's just to see them one last time, to tell them I'm sorry... I have to go back..."
"But... if Guizhong and Marchosius are purged... Morax, the Adepti, and the yakshas—they'll all be heartbroken."
"I've already done so much. I'm not a god—I can't make everything perfect..."
"Besides, Guizhong herself was destined to die."
"But if she had died in that flood, her bond with Morax wouldn't have been that deep. At most, he would have been sad for a while—it wouldn't have caused him lasting pain."
"But..."
"If Guizhong dies now, after centuries of shared memories, the grief will crush Morax."
"Why didn't I realize that before..."
"I knew it... I knew it all along..."
"I thought too little... far too little. I should have thought more carefully..."
"But now it's already come to this... What should I do..."
"I want to go back too... I want to see them again... I want to marry Shenhe... I want to live an ordinary life..."
"Someone... please tell me... what should I do..."
"I don't know... I don't know!!!"
At that moment, Elliot's black hair turned white. He seemed to age countless years in an instant.
He said nothing, only sat there in silence—motionless, lost in thought.