"It is not honorable to fight against each other with no personal stakes or a reasonable feud. Next time we meet, I will make sure you have grown a proper personal grudge against me!!"
Noboru's message when they first met, on the border between life and death, was the only thought spiraling in every corner of Ayumi's mind, sending chills down her spine and turning the blood running in her veins cold, till she felt frozen, feeling her exhausted limbs growing heavier the more she searched through the dark fog infiltrating her home and emanating a choking grasp in every room and turn.
"Grandma! Grandma!"
Ayumi screamed, looking in every room and running up and down the stairs twice, stumbling across every step and hitting every piece of furniture. Staying calm was not an option, it did not even pass by her and so she kept running and looking for her grandmother forgetting everything else; who she was with, the fun she had, even the changes that had come across her life, the power she possessed now... she just kept shouting for her grandmother while running in endless circles.
"Do you not wish someone else was with you now?"
A soft childish voice echoed in her thoughts, but it was completely drowned by Noboru's previous threat, and so the girl failed to acknowledge anything else going around her.
"Grandma! Grandma! Where are you? Are you safe?"
Ayumi yelled at the top of her lungs despite her heaving chest, searching the second floor for the third time and as she came down, she tripped over something… over someone laying on the ground.
"Grandma!"
Ayumi sighed relieved. How come she did not notice the unconscious old woman down the stairs all this time? She was so consumed by fear she did not notice… or was it a trick? An illusion or a mirage perhaps? Flipping her grandmother quickly to face her, the woman did not stir a muscle and Ayumi's fears intensified again, erasing any brief relief she momentarily felt.
"Do you not wish someone else was with you now?"
The question echoed again in Ayumi's mind, and the girl barely got out the first few words of her response through gritted teeth and frustration.
"Of course I…"
But before she could continue, her eyes fell on two figures. There were already two persons standing inside, and she held to her unconscious grandmother tighter and tighter as she gazed directly at Laila's eyes, spitting out angrily:
"You bastard! You tricked me! What have you done to my grandmother?"
Laila opened her mouth to reply but then stopped, what was the point? Ayumi would not believe her while in that uncontrolled state of anger and fear.
Seeing the kind old woman on the ground, unresponsive and unmoving, the former queen immediately ran toward her and kneeled by her side. She reached out her hands as if out of an old habit, but then withdrew them mid – air… what was she supposed to do? Did she have the power to do anything at all?
"What are you after? We were with you the entire time! Why go after an innocent old woman?"
Ayumi wanted to fight, but her shaking hands would not let go of her grandmother, holding to her as if she was the last thing that kept her going, and perhaps that was the truth.
"Now what if she is gone… just like them…"
Ayumi could not tell if that frightening statement came out of her own mouth or if it was the sound of her own mind. Always reminding herself of that possibility, this was the sole concern accompanying her every time she put her head on the pillow. She would be left all alone… with no family and no friends… the last person carrying the scent and stories of her parents will be gone and turn into an untouchable memory just like them… At that moment, it was not just a possibility, but an eventual thing waiting to happen… it was unfolding right before the girl's eyes, and she felt powerless.
"Amaterasu… please… cannot you do something... anything?"
Ayumi pleaded, unable to take her eyes away from her only left family and look at the former queen whose face turned complicated with the same feelings of loss and powerlessness. In her agitated fear, reason had left the girl's thinking and she totally forgot that she was now the queen and not Amaterasu… she possessed the power now and not the walking shell beside her… still, her power, the scepter in her bag, the spear upstairs, the two princesses of wind and earth… all evaporated from her mind, like the dew of flowers in a hot day, seeping away along her ability to take any action like snow melting on top of a mountain of fear and dread.
"How more pitiful could you be? Get out your scepter any try something!"
Laila huffed in disappointment, brushing her hair away, and just hearing that woman's voice sat Ayumi on fire.
"You tricky snake! What are you up to?!"
"I am telling you what you have forgotten! You are the one in charge now!"
Laila's voice became loud for the first time, though not to the point of yelling, but it was too shameful, even for the princess of darkness to see her counterpart, her opposite equal, act so disgracefully.
Ayumi's senses returned to her suddenly after hearing Laila's words, and as if she was struck by a thunderbolt, she jolted up taking the scepter out of her bag, choosing to attack Laila in her blind rage, much to the latter and the former queen's surprise, but that unsettling childish voice stopped her again as it rang inside her head.
"You have a chance to say goodbye to her and perhaps you would not need to bid any goodbyes… but what about them? Who else can support you in this situation? Who else can guide you and comfort you the same way your grandmother did? Who bears her essence and maintain it for your sake?"
Ayumi was petrified in her spot, Amaterasu tracking her movements that came to a sudden halt with worry, and Laila figured out what was happening. Ayumi turned her head again at her grandmother's unconscious body, detecting slight twitching in her muscles and eyelids.
"You might not lose her comforting hugs and encouraging words today… but you have already lost theirs… and hers are but a poor imitation of what your truly need and miss… you have a chance to say goodbye to them… meet them one last time!"
"I do?"
Ayumi murmured to herself, seeing her grandmother's eyelids flutter and open for few seconds before closing again, making the dead queen look hopefully and smile encouragingly at the girl beside her. However, Ayumi was in a completely different zone of her own. That small movement somehow assured her that her grandmother would be alright, no goodbyes needed yet… Nevertheless, the goodbye she needed to say was in her grasp now.
"Just make the wish… you need them now by your side, do not you, poor girl?"
The echoing voice softened even more, resembling a gentle bell's chime. Faced with the possibility of death, its presence permeating through every seam in her body and enveloping her senses with its smell and dreadful aura.
A wish was made in the little girl's heart.
"I wish I can see my parents again!"
Laila shook her head taking few steps back and Amaterasu, though clueless, held to the unconscious woman's body detecting an upcoming danger by pure instinct.
At the sight of two white globes emerging from the darkness, and surrounding Ayumi, the latter dropped her scepter to the ground taking the two globes tenderly in her hands. She had seen similar ones before and recognized what they were immediately.
Souls... the souls of her dead parents had come back somehow, her wish granted.
"Mother! Father!"
Ayumi fell to her knees, scraping them, while she cuddled the silent globes warming her hands soothing her worries and fears.
"Oh… I have missed you so much! Mother… father…"
The globes remained silent, they could not speak or talk after all without possessing a body… but their warmth was everything Ayumi ever needed and even with this silent reunion, she was content and grateful but still tried to wish for more.
"Please speak to me… I need to hear your voices one more time… "
Ayumi cuddled the globes against her heart, biting her lips in remorse, her tears falling slowly onto the two orbs, making them agitate with worry and when Ayumi realized this, she immediately wiped away her tears and held them even closer, talking to them, certain they were hearing her.
"I cannot believe I am causing you to worry even from the grave… I am that kind of girl… I can be so selfish, cannot I ? After all…"
The rest of the sentence chocked in Ayumi's throat as she battled the tears, not wanting to worry or sadden her parents who journeyed from the afterlife just to comfort her. Though unable to talk or respond, their mere presence calmed the girl down and made her heart beat with all the emotions bottled within for so many years, since the accident that took her parents away, unexpectedly, unforeseen, just like death cruel habit.
She could finally apologize, though she knew her parents did not need her to. They were most certainly relieved and at peace that she was not with them during the car accident, but it was different from Ayumi's perspective who could never until now forgive herself.
"I am sorry… I am sorry… I am sorry…"
Ayumi kept repeating these words through her falling tears, each time the apology fading behind the painful exhales of her sobbing.
"I did not even get to tell you good morning in person on that day… I was so excited about a stupid school trip… which I … which I insisted on going on, letting you go on your own… I did not even spend the evening with you occupied with preparing for that stupid trip… believing I was going to make at last some friends… who turned out to be not really my friends! And for that selfish reason… I refused to go with you… grandmother said it was all for the best… that this happened for a reason… for me to stay alive and make you proud… but this is not what's happening at all… this is not what happened… ever since I stubbornly refused your invitation to go visit my uncles with you… I cannot stop blaming myself… not for not staying up with you in the night… not for not saying goodbye properly the morning you left… but because I did not… I did not die with you as I was supposed to! Then... I would have been much happier… "
Amaterasu, still holding to the unconscious old woman, looked at Ayumi with sorrowful eyes, words betraying her for the first time perhaps. She wanted to go up to Ayumi and embrace her, taking all her self – loathe and pain away… but how can she do this? Was it even possible? Confused and helpless, she looked up at Laila who was sighing covering her face. The former queen somehow could tell what that black – haired woman was feeling the same as her despite hiding it so well. It seemed she was feeling some sort of regret over something similar.
"I should have died with you… the burden of a blame that cannot be rectified is so heavy… I am so tired of bearing it on my own because everyone else says it is not my fault… but it is! I was selfish and self – absorbed… neglecting you for the sake of other people who turned out to be… no one can be truly caring and understanding as you were… I was shown the truth I deserve… but this is not enough… I wish…"
"Stop making wishes!"
Laila screamed at the girl. Kotohina's box was probably still in effect, and any wrong wording of a wish could turn into a disaster. The princess's voice carried a tone of concern, was she not the one who pulled the veil away from Ayumi's eyes to expose her friends' true feelings and intentions, leaving her feeling more alone and isolated, taking her hand deceitfully to carry one a pretense of friendship and mutual care?
"I do not accept my supposed equal to be this weak!"
Laila went on, but Ayumi shouted at her.
"Shut up! You understand nothing! What have you lost? You enjoy making other people lose… lose their self- esteem, their goodness, their hopes, their dreams… is not this why you have orchestrated this show? Enjoy it!"
Laila kept her mouth shut, waiting for the true orchestrator of this trap to reveal himself. Meanwhile, after hearing the girl's words Amaterasu reached her hand to grasp Ayumi's shoulder, the only gesture of support she could think of in her befogged mind. she saw a spiral of despair and she felt she had the responsibility to pull the whirling girl inside it away from it. However, before her hand could reach the shaking shoulder, another wish was whispered, along the ceaseless tears.
"I should have died with you… Missing you with every passing second redeems nothing at all… but it is a must, a duty I have to do and it is so painful knowing how futile it is… I wish I have died with you!"
Laila raised her head, looking around and spotting the faint black glint coming out of the wish – fulfilling box. Amaterasu pulled her arm back alarmed for a reason she could not explain, but she was sure something sinister laid ahead of them. Realizing from Ayumi's words that their black – haired friend was not a true friend, she had to ask for help and she just uttered this one syllable word, after which a storm blew through the house and roots invaded its walls, while the white globes, Ayumi's parents souls turned into an aggressive red.