Sin Mal possessed a special power outside the Honkai. Her eyes are capable of seeing deeper than what is shown on the surface.
Self.
A word. But it is also the representation of a person's everything. It is what makes them who they are. Identities, memories, personalities…
And their uniqueness.
The world in Sin's eyes was a stale black and white. Black is evil. White is good. Oftentimes, these colors shift between each other.
Once cornered, the good can turn evil. When at peace, evil can turn good. This kind of indecisiveness—this impermanence—is what Sin Mal hated the most. In her eyes, the world is nothing but an endless circus, with stacks upon stacks of masks to wear.
Nobody knows how to present their self.
Occasionally, she met some exemptions. Bronya's capability to remain good despite being drenched in evil (i.e., killings) is what made her unique. She was attracted by Bronya's appearance in her life.
She thought that would be the end of it… until she met Shi Tian.
'That light…'
It was hidden. Diminished, even. It did not change Shi Tian's brilliance.
He…
He can go against the will of the world alone.
Even if only he holds a belief, he will never hesitate to fight for it. It is this kind of impermanence, this kind of strength, was he able to resist IX through sheer willpower. He is a protagonist in the making. A Deliverer of the world, or perhaps its Destroyer. No matter what path Shi Tian takes, this brilliance never changes.
Sin Mal wanted to be the person beside him; to witness the stories his presence will write.
It is also why her prior possessiveness turned into acquiescence.
He is too brilliant.
Everyone is attracted to him like moths to the flames. People with special lights gathered around one after another. Sin Mal only hoped she could fight alongside him.
To be given special attention?
She'll die for it…
'What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?'
…which is what's happening now.
Sin Mal's mind went on auto-pilot. Her sincere answers stemmed from her opening up to Shi Tian. Her gaze never evaded Shi Tian even if it hurt her "eyes". Staring at his "brilliance" is akin to looking at the Sun. It is bound to hurt.
Sin did not care.
She wanted to etch its sight, every living second, down to her soul.
"Because it is worth dying for."
The answer Sin Mal gave came from the depths of her heart. She truly did not care about her own life.
What came next was Shi Tian's reprimand.
"Your disregard for your life is not good. You need to change it, Sin."
"..!"
"Turn off your eyes' power. Now."
His cold command served to stop Sin Mal's chances of seeing his "Brilliance".
'Ah…'
Yet she found herself being happy about it. Before she knew it, his hands already landed on her shoulders.
"Our meetings are more than just this. You can still look at it."
"Ah… Um."
She could barely hold herself. Lines of electricity traveled from her spine to the crown of her head. The overwhelming happiness turned into extreme pleasure.
Shi Tian sensed her special situation.
'A good psychopath… it's better than the other Sin Mal.'
He resolved himself to accept Sin Mal no matter how she turned up.
"Sin..?"
Under his shocked eyes, Sin Mal fainted… with lines of clear liquid trickling down her legs.
*****
My two students have a contender.
This is my conclusion after carrying Sin to the bedroom. Mei's and Griseo's gaze at that time overlapped with Sin's. Only, the latter's case seems to be more severe than Mei's. Griseo's is worse than Sin.
From what I know, Griseo can see 'colors'. Sin can see the "brilliance". Their similarities made me worry about Griseo. At least Sin did not suffer from 1,500 years of samsara time loop. I can already sense the impending romantic entanglement between the four of us.
My thoughts went wild as I waited for Sin to wake up. I cleaned her up before placing her on the bed. I am too familiar with the scent and aura of Yin Qi. That's what Sin wet herself with.
Strangely enough, the wait lasted longer than I thought. A strange feeling arose in my mind before it receded.
True to my feelings, Sin left the bedroom and headed downstairs—to her living room. She wore the same clothes as before, with a few wrinkled places here and then. There is no unusual stuff present… until my extremely keen senses caught a whiff of Yin Qi. The sweet and mellow, honey-like taste, is something I will never forget.
Our eyes met. Her guilty eyes did not bother hiding what she did upstairs.
Even…
She wanted to be scolded?
I quickly set aside this dangerous thought.
"I am wondering if… you can let me see my 'brilliance'."
Sin's enthusiasm died when I asked this question. She recomposed herself for a second.
"I haven't tried it yet…"
"Then…"
I made a split-second decision and passed her the [Sun-Moon Creation Art] in the form of a jade slip. One of its greatest functions is to connect the minds of two people and achieve spiritual catharsis—the satisfaction brought by fully understanding one's partner.
A tinge of red spread to her face the moment she pressed it on her forehead. She intently browsed its contents…
Wait a minute!
"Don't… you know, focus on the practical techniques."
I became more familiar with Sin's facial cues. She's definitely focusing on the practical techniques (i.e., bedroom skills), no doubt.
"Ah. Ah…"
I waited for an entire day. I did not enter the sleep-slash-cultivation state, opting to look at Sin instead. Her current mature look bore semblances of her past self. She wasn't as endowed as others in the chest area. Everything else is perfect. The shape of her waist is not hidden on the frilly long-sleeves she wore. Her long hair served to elevate her cheekiness to elegance.
Most importantly, her ahoge stands tall.
Looking at a beautiful girl for an entire day is not a waste of time.
"I can do it."
Her eyes opened once more.
I came to a decision.
We can't rush this.
"Forget about it. You can master it for a while... even if it takes decades."
"Are you sure? I can..."
Seeing my look, she retracted her words.
"....Alright."
Sin accepted my proposal. We can't rush things. Today is still a productive day. I got to see her cute side.
"I might cause a commotion in your residence when that day comes."
"Um. No problem. Nobody will dare to distract you while I am here."
For a moment, her aura debt seemed nothing in my eyes.
*****
A/N: Bonus chapter
PS: I released a new fic. It's something that I'll update alongside this one. Feel free to check it out if you're interested...