Tip-tap, tip-tap.
The Dangai—the Precipice World—is a space isolated from both time and space. I, the reborn, New Super NEO Momo Hinamori Mk. 2, walked across the dark, corpse-strewn ground with a lovely smile on my face. Since I arrived here, the Cleaner has appeared four times, so I estimate about a month has passed in this void.
What have I been doing all this time? Waiting for my fits of hysterical giggling to subside whenever I remember the sheer brilliance of Toshiro's despair, obviously.
"Heh... hehehe..."
Oops, there I go again. I really need to get this under control. If I show up in front of Ichigo with this "creepy villain grin," he's going to be horrified. Even the saintly Ichigo, who tried to protect me even when I was a grotesque reborn monster, has his limits. There are some truths—namely, the real me—that even the protagonist of Bleach shouldn't have to endure.
Giving him a beautiful, tragic world to believe in is the least I can do to thank him for following my massive plot blunders. Good job, Ichigo! To make sure you don't turn into a floor rug in the near future, I'll teach you the trick to drawing out more Hollow power—the ultimate weakness of the Quincies. Oh, and I'll probably revive Ulquiorra too, just so he can help fix the awkward tension between you and Orihime.
Phew. I need to settle down. Calm. Calm.
"Sigh... what is this feeling? It's like total fulfillment mixed with absolute lethargy..."
The now overly-calm Momo let out a small sigh.
I've collected every single one of Toshiro's "anguish points" from the original series. Now that I've finished savoring the afterglow of my hundred-and-fifty-year ambition, I feel a strange loneliness—like the feeling after a grand festival ends.
My "retirement life" has begun—a third life, if you count my previous one. But honestly, I can't find a reason to live that tops a perfect "HINAMORIIIIII!" Toshiro really was my entire life's purpose, wasn't he?
"Wait... I'm not even a human or a soul anymore, am I?"
I glanced at the objects in my peripheral vision. I looked at the light source growing from my back that had been illuminating the darkness of the Dangai.
Two pairs of wings.
They grew from somewhere between my shoulder blades and the collar of my robe. Four wings in total, shimmering with the beautiful colors of pink stardust.
Of course, the best way to describe them would be "gross, slimy things that look like they just crawled out of a chrysalis, trailing spiritual fluid like spider silk."
I mean, they aren't actually slimy, and they don't splatter fluid when I flap them—they're just masses of spiritual pressure—イbut they look like they should make a squelching sound, which is annoying. I'm just hoping the "divine aura" I'm radiating manages to offset the creepiness.
"And I hate this outfit..."
Speaking of looks, I'm wearing this tattered under-robe—my "starting equipment." It looks like a cosplay of a Blankfrom the first movie. Maybe I subconsciously used my past life's memories during my rebirth, because it looks a lot like the outfit Dark Rukia wore.
The difference is I don't have a cape, and the tattered collar at my chest has turned into a flickering, flame-like spiritual pressure that flows up my neck and shoulders to bloom into the wings on my back.
Actually, that part is fine. The problem is the hem. It's wide open with a slit so deep it makes a cheongsam look modest. If a breeze blows, my dignity as a maiden is over. Well, I'm not human anymore, but still.
Honestly, it's embarrassing, and I want to fix it. But apparently, just like Aizen's "White Tights" form, this is part of my spiritual body now, so I can't just change it on a whim.
Just when I thought I was finally done with that "barely-covered" Arrancar outfit, I end up with "barely-covered" lower-body attire.
(Well, Ichigo is a gentleman who managed to ignore Orihime's revealing outfit in the final arc, so as long as I act dignified, he probably won't mention it. Hopefully.)
Twirling a strand of my glowing, spirit-particle hair, I decided it was time to move. I shifted my consciousness to my "other body."
My original, beautiful Soul Reaper body.
"Let's see... what's happening in the World of the Living?"
The reason I've been loitering in the Dangai isn't just because I was busy fixing my "creepy grin." It's also because I'm bored until Ichigo starts his "Final Getsuga Tensho" training.
Time flows differently here. Unless someone stops the flow of the current from one of the sides, the time between this void and the outside world won't sync up.
Of course, I'm a "blunder character" who managed to obtain a massive Valley of Screams made of my own Blanks, so I've basically been kicked out of the laws of the world.
Feeling a bit lonely being excluded by the universe, I operated the body I left in the World of the Living without any trouble. Currently, that body is "faking death" in Toshiro's arms. Moving now would ruin my "Tragic Heroine" status, so I kept my eyes shut and used only spiritual sensing and hearing to scout the area.
I want my "awakening event" to be romantic, after Toshiro wakes up.
"Let's see, the situation is... wow, Captain Aizen is really enjoying himself."
Based on what I could sense, Aizen was currently in the middle of a scene where he confuses the protagonists with vague spoilers. He sounds as happy as ever.
Oh, Yoruichi and Ichigo's dad, Isshin, have arrived. Just like the original, they teamed up with Urahara to hit Aizen with those "Spiritual Pressure Sealing Handcuffs" meant to make him self-destruct.
...And, yep. Just as expected.
Aizen emerged from the explosion and began his infamous "Chrysalis" transformation. He calls it "The Stage of the Cocoon" to make it sound stylish, but let's be real... it looks incredibly dorky.
However, unlike the original, this man had a trump card to restore his plummeted drama points.
That's right! He revealed that there were actually two Hogyokus—the real one, and my "Momodama."
"What... did you say!?"
Ichigo, Kyoraku, and the others all sang the "Protagonist Protocol" in unison. The thing they thought was the Hogyoku was a complete fake, and the Urahara-made Hogyoku they were worried about had actually been mastered by Aizen inside his own body!
With this move, the foreshadowing of him treating Momo "disposably" was resolved, and he even exposed the "secret origin" of the Momodama! He was successfully amping up his "Villain Points" by acting like a total piece of trash.
(Oh, and Gin over there with his eyes open... a piece of the soul you're looking for is actually inside the orange-haired human next to you... just saying.)
Anyway, after that, Aizen went on his "conspiracy rant," explaining how everything from Ichigo's birth to his battles had been in the palm of his hand. He looked every bit the final boss, ignoring the fact that his current form looks like a giant marshmallow.
In combat, he didn't do any of the weird figure-skating poses or "face-planting" gags from the original. He brushed off Isshin, Urahara, Yoruichi, Shinji, and several other Captains with a single wave. With his drama points reaching the ceiling, our final boss began his leisurely walk toward Karakura Town.
Just before Gin could open the Senkaimon, I manifested my personal Valley of Screams outside the Dangai and hid inside it. I saw an old guy named Ganryu do something similar in a movie, so I tried it, and it worked.
"He should be passing through soon..."
I waited a bit and then took action. This was my final "Villain Bonus" for Captain Aizen, given as thanks for his help. I released the Cleaner I had caught and kept as a pet in my Valley of Screams right behind him!
"This is bad! That isn't a being made of Spiritual Pressure, it's a law of nature! You can't do anything to it with Reiatsu!"Gin shouted.
"..."
"Captain Aizen?"
Gin's worry was misplaced. In this version, Aizen had already finished his "Chrysalis" phase and was in his much better "Long Hair" mode. He still looks a bit silly, but with his overwhelming power and the "Style Points" he'd accumulated...
"What do you fear, Gin? Laws exist for those who cannot live without clinging to them."
The janitor of the dimensions was blown to bits without a fight!
I knew it. In this world, "Laws" are just things you crush with pure "Style." I thought the world kicked me out, but maybe my blunders are actually considered "Stylish" by the universe's standards...?
"Come, Gin. Let us go. To the edge of reason."
The final boss proceeded toward the end of the Dangai, calm and transcendent. Aside from the long hair and the white tights, he looked pretty cool.
Good. With those points banked, even if Aizen does something pathetic like chasing schoolgirls around (as he did in the original), his "Villain Value" should hold up. Now, if I can just release some of Ichigo's "White Power," we'll have a fight that tops the original manga.
(Hehe... it looks like I have more to live for than just Toshiro's screams after all.)
Finally, I issued a mental challenge to Aizen—"Get ready!"—and quietly closed the hole I used for the Cleaner, hiding back in my Valley.
"I'm looking forward to it, Momo."
...Wow, Captain Aizen sure talks to himself a lot, doesn't he? (Trembling voice).