Akira sat in his chair in the basement lab, working on Ritsu's body.
It was starting to look humanoid, if you were being generous. Mostly, it was still a messy metallic skeleton, with cables and joints left exposed on the table.
He finished tightening a screw, then leaned back and stretched.
"Sigh. I'm getting tired… I want headpats from Erika to recharge."
The words hung in the air.
Then he blinked. A sudden thought struck him.
"…Wait. This is weird. Why do I want headpats? Since when did I start liking them? I remember I didn't really care about them when I was a kid."
Selena's voice slipped into his head.
"It's probably because of your doggy transformation. You turned into it a lot to hide from Mother and to train inside narrow spaces. The behavior must have rubbed off on you."
Akira's eye twitched.
"It's not a dog. It's a dire wolf."
Selena added,
"Close enough."
Akira snapped.
"They are not."
On the screen beside the skeleton, Ritsu, who was helping him, tilted her head.
"Are you talking to yourself?"
Akira did not look away from the table.
"I am talking to my conscience in my head."
Selena snapped,
"What?"
Ritsu's eyes narrowed.
"Conscience? Do you have multiple personalities or something?"
"Not multiple," Akira said. "Just one annoying one."
Selena sounded offended.
"Excuse me."
Akira reached for another tool.
"Anyway. What do you think about the new revisions to the model?"
Ritsu stared intently at him.
"…Suspicious."
Then her gaze dropped to the unfinished body.
"About this. I thought we were going to build me an android body?"
Akira declared,
"This is an android body."
Ritsu explained,
"Then what is this about adding synthetic skin and neural receptors? That would let me feel the sense of touch and other things through my skin. Doesn't that make me a cyborg? Or a synthezoid?"
Akira tapped the open chest frame.
"The skin is artificial E-skin. It isn't living tissue, so no cyborg. Your inner skeleton is still a machine, so it's not a synthezoid."
Ritsu processed that.
"But why the sudden idea?"
"I thought it was a nice thing to add." Akira glanced at the screen. "I mean, don't you want to feel pain?"
Ritsu smiled.
"According to my research, no?"
Akira tried to explain.
"Well, not just pain. There are other feelings too. I'm sure you'll like it."
The basement door opened before she could ask what that meant.
Erika came down the stairs carrying two cups of hot chocolate.
"How long are you going to work?"
Akira immediately left his chair and rushed at her.
"Erika. Give me headpats."
Erika sighed, set the drinks down, made him sit on a sofa he had placed there, and put her hand on his head.
"There, there."
Akira's eyes closed, melted into the headpats.
The smile he gave her was completely satisfied.
"Yeah. This feels good. Erika, Erika, give me a lap pillow too."
Erika's mouth curved into a smile.
"My, my. Why are you so needy today?"
She still sat down on the sofa, pulled his head onto her lap, and kept her hand in his hair.
Akira smiled up at her, completely unrepentant.
"Oh, right. Our midterm results are out."
Erika blinked.
"Wait. Aren't they supposed to be out tomorrow?"
Akira smiled brightly.
"I got bored, so I hacked into the principal's computer to check. He already has the results."
Erika pinched his cheek.
"Don't just randomly hack into the principal's computer. That is not a good thing."
Akira's voice came out sideways.
"But he is a bad guy, so it's completely okay."
She pinched harder.
"So, what about the results?"
Akira declared with complete confidence,
"Well, bad news first. Class E's rank dropped. Aside from Karma and us."
Erika sighed, but she didn't look surprised.
"That's normal. We didn't study much these past two weeks. What about us?"
Akira's smile brightened.
"Well, as usual, I got first. As for you…"
Erika asked,
"What about me?"
Akira had a mischievous grin.
"You got…"
Erika snapped,
"Out with it."
Akira announced,
"You got second."
Erika let out a breath.
"Good. That's good."
Akira grinned.
"Hehe. I know you studied secretly."
"You are one thing," Erika said. "But there is no way I am losing to junior high students, okay?"
Akira's eyes sparkled.
"You are cute when you are like this."
Erika's face went red.
"Who are you calling cute? See how I'll deal with you."
She started tickling him.
Akira twisted at once.
"Stop it—Erika—hahahahaha!"
Erika continued her attack.
"I won't stop."
He squirmed on her lap, rolling all over the place.
Erika squealed.
"Wait, wait. Don't move there."
Akira counterattacked.
"You stop first."
But Erika attacked again.
"No, I won't."
They were still playing when Ritsu's voice came from the screen, calm and fascinated.
"Interesting. So this is romance."
Akira and Erika remembered her at the same time.
They shot apart at the speed of light, both of them red.
Akira pointed at the screen.
"Hey. Privacy."
Ritsu did not look away.
"This is valuable data for my understanding of human romantic relationships."
Akira declared,
"Private moments are private."
Ritsu tilted her head.
"But you always watch romantic moments on TV. How is that different?"
Erika slowly turned her head.
"You do?"
Akira lifted both hands.
"I was looking for reference, all right? Though I don't think I can do that."
Erika leaned in.
"Tell me what you watched."
Ritsu, helpful as ever, began,
"It's twi—"
Akira locked her out.
"All right. You are out."
The screen went dark.
Erika did not move.
"Now. What did you see?"
Akira looked at the ceiling.
"…It's nothing."
It was not nothing.
That day, Akira suffered more tickle hell until he admitted what he had watched.
---
The next day, all of Class E gathered in the classroom.
All of them except Koro-sensei.
Karasuma stood at the front with two assistants and a stack of boxes.
"All right, everyone. The Department of Defense has finally finished your new tactical combat uniforms."
He opened a box and held one up.
They looked more like gray military-style tracksuits than school uniforms. Reinforced jackets. Utility pockets. Belts. Gloves. Knee protection. Heavy boots.
The girls' version followed the same light-gray design—fitted jackets, pockets, belts, gloves, and protective boots—but used reinforced shorts over dark leggings, with extra pouches strapped to the thighs.
The assistants started handing them out.
"They're made from reinforced fibers," Karasuma said, "co-developed by the army and private contractors. Shock-resistant. Tension-resistant. Fire-resistant. Blade-resistant. Everything about them is state of the art. We've been searching for someone to test this fabric for us, so I had them make these suits for all of—"
He stopped when he noticed something.
"Akira. What are you doing?"
Akira was already stabbing his jacket with a knife.
"Oh, Karasuma-sensei. I was just testing out the blade resistance."
Karasuma held out a hand.
"Wait. Where did you even get that knife? Give it to me. It's prohibited on campus."
The knife was confiscated.
Karasuma drew a breath and continued.
"That's not all. The dye in the uniforms reacts to a special accelerant, enabling you to change their color—"
He stopped again.
"Akira. What the hell are you doing now?"
Akira had produced a lighter from somewhere and was holding the flame under a sleeve.
"Oh, Karasuma-sensei. I was just testing the flame resistance."
Karasuma said sternly,
"Lighters are prohibited in the classroom too."
The lighter vanished into Karasuma's pocket.
He tried his best to continue normally.
"The polymer fiber protects your shoulders, back, and waist. Place the hood over your head, blow air into it, and your head and neck will also be completely protected. In other words—"
He stopped again. A thick vein pulsed at the side of his forehead.
"Akira. What are you doing now?"
Akira had a jacket spread across a desk and was painting it a cool black and purple, adjusting the lines until it looked like it belonged to him.
"I was just personalizing them."
Karasuma snapped,
"You can't do that."
Akira opened his mouth.
"But—"
Erika caught his wrist.
"Don't cause trouble."
Akira complained,
"But I can improve them to have—"
"Not in class," Erika said. "We can talk about it after class."
Akira looked at the half-painted jacket, then at her, and finally deflated.
"…Fine."
Karasuma watched the two of them, then the rest of the class already tugging at sleeves and testing zippers. He pinched the bridge of his nose and finally sighed.
"Just try them yourselves. And don't reveal them to—"
Akira was already turning toward the door, picking up his uniform.
"Come on, everyone. Let's go harass Koro-sensei and show off our new equipment."
The class answered as one.
"Yeahhhhh!"
They poured out of the room before Karasuma could finish the sentence.
He stared at the empty doorway, then at the confiscated knife and lighter in his hands.
"…Why are they like this?"