Thud!
"We're going out again!"
Before Kamishiro could even react, Aina dragged Kohei away once more.
At that speed, it was hard to believe she barely passed her P.E. class.
Kamishiro blinked, then asked Shinka over the phone, "So? Want to give it a try? Let's see if your style is as eerily accurate as my friend's."
"…"
"…You seriously think that counts as fortune-telling?"
If a three of diamonds could tell you that much, she might as well eat her tarot deck right now!
"Ahem, well… different people have different sensitivities…"
Kamishiro pulled excuses out of thin air, determined to get Shinka to do a reading.
He could tell right away: Kohei's version was more like… "I already know the answer, and now I'll make something up to match it."
Actually, now that he thought about it—wasn't that how most fortune-telling worked?
Imagine a result first, then invent a plausible path to it.
Kohei's only mistake was making the process too simplistic… and the result way too specific.
Hopefully he'd learn his lesson next time he tried to bluff his way through something.
Now then—time for Lady Mori to shine!
Her fortune-telling could be a little BS at times too, but at least there was some real skill behind it.
She had been practicing since junior high, after all~
"Fine, fine," Shinka muttered, clutching her bunny plushie. "I feel like I just got played…"
She wasn't dumb—she could tell now that everything earlier had been part of a setup just to get her to do this reading.
But still… thanks to Kamishiro's earlier antics, her mood had really improved.
Just like she'd thought before—she didn't dislike being around Kamishiro. In fact… she kind of liked it.
The reason she was avoiding him so much was mostly because of the fortune she had done for herself before—she was all about pure love!
There was absolutely no way she would become part of this guy's harem!
Shinka agreed, though since the one requesting the reading wasn't the one actually drawing the cards, the result might not be that accurate—just a rough idea.
But that was enough!
After briefly explaining Iori's situation to Shinka, Kamishiro leaned closer to Iori.
"Ahem, Kitahara, since you already took part in Kohei's love fortune-telling, why not try mine? Just tell the person on the phone which three cards you want to pick—just pick three numbers."
That's right!
The classic love triangle!
"Again?!"
Iori looked pained. The results from the last reading were already absurd enough—what the hell was this?
Come to think of it, didn't the person Kohei just described sound a little familiar?
"Well, just try it. Don't you want to know who your future partner will be?"
"Nope."
"Since you do… wait, what did you say?"
"I said I don't want to know."
(￣～￣)
Iori took a bite of his rice ball and continued, "What's the point of knowing something like that? These things are meant to be worked out through effort.
Fortune-telling doesn't mean anything.
Think about it. If Yamamoto went to get a fortune told about when he'd lose his virginity…
The result would obviously be 'never,' right?"
Kamishiro nodded. There was no arguing with that. This was a fact universally accepted by everyone at Izu University—except Yamamoto himself!
"There's nothing wrong with the fortune-telling then, so what?"
"But what if…" Iori's gaze suddenly turned sharp. "What if Yamamoto went to Kabukicho the next day?"
"What?!"
Kamishiro was stunned. He thought about it carefully.
The fortune-telling said he couldn't graduate from virginity, and then he chose to go to a high-end bathhouse.
That... kind of contradicts the reading, huh.
For a moment, Kamishiro felt that Iori's argument made a lot of sense!
"Wait, no, going to a place like that doesn't count as graduating."
Normally, they referred to that as a "fake graduation." Fake graduations don't count!
If that's the case, fortune-telling could still be believed.
Iori clearly thought of that too. He put down his chopsticks and looked seriously at Kamishiro.
"If that's a fake graduation, then what if Yamamoto turns to crime the next day? That still breaks the fortune-telling that said he couldn't graduate!"
"Hss!"
Kamishiro sucked in a breath. When you looked at it that way, maybe fortune-telling really wasn't that accurate.
He didn't know how to argue back—after all, this was Yamamoto they were talking about!
There was no telling what he might do just to graduate.
While Kamishiro was beginning to doubt the validity of fortune-telling, an angry voice suddenly came through the phone!
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?! How could a love fortune-telling possibly predict something like that?!"
Shinka's furious shout nearly burst their eardrums. Had these two forgotten she was still on the line?!
Her fortune-tellings never included things like whether someone could "graduate" or not.
There were way too many unstable variables in something like that!
Unbelievable!
How dare they doubt her readings—Shinka was fuming. Even if Kamishiro didn't ask, she was going to do a reading for that guy just to prove her skills!
"What was that?"
Hearing the impassioned female voice, Iori looked at Kamishiro with jealousy practically radiating from his eyes.
Another unfamiliar girl!
"Ahem, that's your fortune-teller…"
Sensing the irritation in Shinka's voice, Kamishiro quickly urged, "Forget about whether it's accurate or not, just say three numbers."
"Fine, fine." Wanting to eat in peace, Iori gave in. "Let's go with 1001, 995, and 888."
"..."
"You're messing with me, aren't you?!"
Kamishiro grabbed Iori by the collar with a twisted expression. Who the hell had a tarot deck with 1001 cards?!
"You told me to pick randomly."
Iori looked innocent—Kamishiro hadn't specified any range.
Sensing Iori's clear unwillingness, Kamishiro sighed.
"Forget it. A forced melon doesn't taste sweet. I was originally going to check if you and that busty older lady Aina Takahashi introduced had any future…"
Before Kamishiro could finish speaking—bang!—Iori suddenly stood up from his chair and bowed deeply toward the phone.
"4! 8! 10! Please and thank you!"
"..."
Classic Kitahara Iori.
No need to continue the reading anymore!
Just from that reaction, it was clear—he hadn't even considered girls like Aina or Chisa. His eyes were only for big-breasted onee-sans!
"..."
Shinka was speechless on the other end of the line.
As expected, she should've known.
Anyone who could be friends with Kamishiro probably wasn't normal either.
With the numbers given, Shinka drew the 4th, 8th, and 10th cards from the deck and arranged them in a triangle.
Heh heh…
Let's see just how abnormal this guy's future love life is!
However, when she flipped the three cards over, Shinka froze in place.
This... was way too abnormal!
And this was supposed to be a love fortune-telling?!
Why did it turn out like this?!
…
"Phew, I see… I get it now."
Kamishiro looked at Iori with a complicated expression after hearing the results.
"Wipe that look off your face!"
Iori suddenly had a bad feeling.
Even though he didn't really believe in fortune-telling, Kamishiro's reaction was starting to make him nervous.
"So, what did it say?"
"Well… how should I put it—it's kind of vague."
Kamishiro scratched his head, trying to explain as clearly as possible. "She said… your future is kind of hazy. Like being surrounded by the ocean."
"The ocean, huh. So I'll go diving with that busty older lady in the future?"
"Eh… not sure."
(.-＿-.)
Kamishiro looked dazed. This was basically a reading about loneliness.
The ocean…
Both Chisa and Aina were associated with the sea—after all, they were in the same club.
Of course, the most likely outcome was Iori getting dropped into the sea.
After all, those beasts in school were constantly watching him~
"We're back…"
Aina sighed, still looking like she had nothing to live for.
She hadn't managed to make Kohei give up, but it wasn't all for nothing.
At least now she understood why Kohei wanted to help her—because of this reason:
"I used to be an otaku, so I'm really emotionally sensitive."
There was absolutely no need to know that!!!
Ugh, whatever. As long as it doesn't involve love fortune-telling.
But to Aina's surprise, Iori was currently wearing a bright, blooming smile?
Could it be… he was happy because of Kohei's earlier reading?!
The thought made Aina blush. A strange impulse arose in her heart—if that was the case, maybe she should just confess directly?
No, no!
She had to confirm first!
Aina grabbed Kamishiro, who was sneakily stealing food from Kohei's bento.
"What's going on with Iori right now?"
"Agh—"
Kamishiro took a bite of tempura and kept eyeing Kohei's lunch—other people's food always tastes better.
He absentmindedly replied to Aina's question, "What do you mean?"
"Why does he look like that?"
Aina was getting frustrated. She didn't want to give herself away, so she had to ask carefully, without letting Kamishiro catch on.
After swallowing the tempura, Kamishiro finally registered what she meant and gave her a mischievous look.
"Oh? You really care about him?"
Flustered by Kamishiro's teasing gaze, Aina quickly explained, "I-I'm just worried he might be getting heatstroke or something. He looks all dazed!"
"..."
Looking at the room's air conditioner set to a comfy 24°C, Kamishiro accepted Aina's excuse.
He didn't tease her any further. Shrugging, he said, "Who knows. Maybe he's fantasizing about that busty onee-san or something."
After finishing his sentence, Kamishiro took advantage of Kohei's distraction with Iori and went back to stealthily eating Kohei's tempura.
Meanwhile, Aina stood frozen on the spot like a stone statue.
Big-breasted older woman?
How the hell did that idiot Iori interpret Kohei's information as pointing to a big-breasted older woman!?
Did he not even think of her!?
Ugh, breasts are the worst!
Aina was on the verge of breaking down. Having missed out on Morinaka-sama's fortune-telling, she assumed Iori had come up with the "big-breasted older woman" idea because of Kohei's suggestion.
But what was even more infuriating was that the wingman on the side had started acting on his own again.
Kohei: "Kitahara, wanna try a little psychological test?"
Iori looked at Kohei, confused. "What the hell are you trying to do?"
Kohei: "I just want to understand what's going on inside your heart."
Iori: "Stop talking. You're already disgusting enough."
Kamishiro: "That line makes you sound like you're in some sleazy club."
Kohei: "So shall we begin?"
Though reluctant, Iori didn't refuse. "You're seriously unbearable."
Devastated, Aina had given up all hope. Whatever—it's just another one of Kohei's ridiculous antics, right?
However, after hearing Kohei's question, Aina was surprised to find that... it actually sounded kind of legitimate.
"Question: At a work dinner hosted by a very important person, there's one dish on the table that you really hate. What would you do?"
This time, Kohei had learned from his mistakes. Instead of asking Iori directly, he turned to Aina.
Kohei: "Corpse-makeup Beast, what about you?"
Aina: "Huh? Me too?"
Caught off guard by being called out, Aina felt like—maybe, just maybe—this time it might actually work?
Aina: "Umm... I guess I'd force myself to eat it."
Kohei: "I see!"
Kohei explained: "This question reveals 'what kind of person you're most compatible with.'
Your answer means you're especially compatible with someone who 'knows how to navigate social situations and is sometimes very capable.'"
Kamishiro: "Oh? That's kind of cool. Do me next?"
Kamishiro seemed interested—this did feel kind of like a real psychological test.
Could Kohei have actually researched this?
Kamishiro: "I'd say 'I'm allergic to that dish.'"
Kohei: "Then you're most compatible with someone 'who's really good-looking.'"
Without hesitation, Kohei gave the result. His speed made it obvious he didn't even think about it.
Kamishiro's lips twitched. For a moment, he couldn't tell if Kohei was just bullshitting or if it was real.
Kamishiro: "Well…"
He couldn't refute it. There was no logic behind it, but the result was strangely accurate!
Once Kamishiro was dealt with, Kohei turned his gaze to the main character of the day. "Your turn, Kitahara!"
Seeing what happened with Kamishiro, Iori no longer believed in this so-called psychological test. In his mind, Kamishiro was destined to die alone!
Still, he answered seriously.
Iori: "A dish I hate, huh… I don't think there's anything I particularly dislike."
What?
Kamishiro's cooking?
Does that really deserve to be called "food"?
Having no food he disliked, Iori was about to decide that this test didn't apply to him, when Kohei suddenly cut in.
Kohei: "I see!
You don't dislike any food, so that means you're perfectly suited for someone who wears monster-level heavy makeup!"
Pfffft!
Aina nearly coughed up blood on the spot.
She was so stupid—she actually believed Kohei this time...
Iori: "..."
He went silent. He already knew this test was sketchy, but he didn't expect it to be this ridiculous.
Iori: "Just out of curiosity, what if I had said, 'I'd honestly say I don't like it'?"
Kohei: "You're so honest! That means you're perfectly suited for someone who wears monster-level heavy makeup!"
Iori: "'I'd eat a little, and leave the rest if I really can't manage'?"
Kohei: "So courageous, willing to challenge anything—perfect match with someone who wears monster-level heavy makeup!"
Iori: "'I'd pretend to knock it off the plate'?"
Kohei: "So quick-witted! Which means you—"
BAM!
Before he could finish, Kohei's face was abruptly silenced by Aina's hand.
Clenching Kohei's head tighter and tighter, Aina wore a sweet smile on her face. "Excuse us for a moment~"
...
Kamishiro and Iori didn't say a word—only gestured politely as if to say, "Go ahead."
After the two left, silence returned to the store.
Iori: "So, was 'monster makeup' my only option just now?"
Veins bulged on Iori's forehead. It suddenly hit him—Kohei was mocking or cursing him!
No normal person would wear makeup like that!
Kamishiro stayed quiet. He finally understood—this idiot in front of him never even considered Aina.
Poor Aina...
Still a long road ahead~
Kamishiro: "Well, who knows."
Kamishiro calmly took a sip of tea. This might not be such a bad thing.
BAM!
The shop door slammed open again.
This time, Kohei charged straight to Iori, no preamble, just a brutal opening line:
Kohei: "Do you wanna do it with Corpse-makeup Beast?"
CRACK!
The moment Kohei finished asking, Kamishiro swore he saw a flash of light—and heard Kohei's bones crack.
In the long campaign...
The wingman, thanks to his suicidal tactics, got KO'd by the ace!
What a lively day indeed~