"Cut!!!"
From the director's chair, a buzzcut director wearing sunglasses shouted, arms crossed and frowning.
Looking at the uninspired footage on the monitor, the bald director couldn't help but scold Ikegoshi.
"Ikegoshi, can't you at least give yourself some character?"
"Sorry, Director…"
Ikegoshi apologized with a guilty look. He had been trying his best lately, but when it came to a distinctive persona, he was still the same as ever—bland.
The bald director didn't stop, continuing to complain.
"Besides your face, you've got nothing going for you.
We only picked you because we heard you were super lively on another show! But if this is what you're like…"
"Alright, alright, Director—give Ikegoshi a little time to adjust."
The director wanted to keep ranting, but was cut off by the same woman who had handed Ikegoshi the handkerchief earlier.
She still wore her signature gentle smile. And this time, the bald director heard her.
Why? Because she was the host of the show.
It was thanks to her that the ratings of this show had turned around and continued rising.
Their show was meant to educate the public about insects.
Initially, viewership was about to be slashed in half. But when Yukino joined, everything changed!
Beetles and beauties—two seemingly unrelated things—turned out to be an oddly effective combination.
Still, novelty fades fast. A beautiful host wasn't enough to maintain long-term interest.
So… their eyes turned to up-and-coming talent.
Coincidentally, the bald director heard about Ikegoshi at a party.
At the time, the producer praised Ikegoshi's footage as:
"Wild!"
"Every step defied viewer expectations!"
That—was exactly what the director needed!
So, without hesitation, he invited Ikegoshi, thinking he'd bring something different.
Only to discover…
Ikegoshi was just a pretty face.
Other than his looks, he brought nothing new to the shoot!
And the worst part?
They were filming about beetles!
Next episode's theme was literally: "The Beetle."
Yet Ikegoshi… seemed kind of scared of bugs?!
Even though it was clear he was trying really hard, the results were still stiff and awkward.
It was precisely because expectations were too high that the director was now so frustrated.
He should have done more homework. If he'd asked the original producer a bit more, he might've gotten a different picture.
（λ?_??）
To the side…
Yukino was gently consoling Ikegoshi.
"Please don't take it to heart, Ikegoshi. The director's just a bit impatient. We all see how hard you're working."
Faced with her kindness, Ikegoshi gave a strained smile. He knew he was holding up production.
"I'm really sorry, Miss Yukino. I'll adjust quickly. Please excuse me—I'll go wash my face."
He gave another apologetic smile and walked toward the van.
Watching his dejected figure disappear into the distance…
The crew all sighed.
Just like Yukino had said, everyone had seen how hard he was trying. He even dyed his hair blond to stand out for the show.
Unfortunately, effort and hair color weren't enough.
What the show really needed… was a character who made a visual impact.
Rustle rustle.
Shortly after Ikegoshi left, a noise came from the bushes.
Yukino assumed he had forgotten something and turned to look—
Only to see someone emerge, with only a single leaf covering his most critical area.
"I-Ikegoshi san?!!"
Yukino, always the picture of gentle calm, couldn't keep it together. She stared in horror at the man who had just come back from washing his face.
Even the buzzcut director jumped in shock.
"Why is the visual impact suddenly so explosive?!"
He had indeed said he wanted a character setting that would be eye-catching—but this... isn't this a bit too eye-catching?!
However... is this really Ike Ikegoshi?
Of course not!
This was just an innocent bystander—Kohei-chan~
Because Ikegoshi had dyed his hair blond, now there was no way to distinguish between him and Kohei.
Unfamiliar directors and staff members simply assumed Kohei was Ikegoshi!
And so, a wonderful misunderstanding began~
...
The director's loud yelling successfully caught Kohei's attention.
However, as a socially anxious person, Kohei was always one to ignore things if he could.
He furrowed his brows, as if he hadn't seen these people at all, and walked right past them.
But that simple frown carried a very different meaning in the eyes of the buzz-cut director.
"Unprofessional! He's saying we're unprofessional!"
That's right!
In Kohei's expression, the buzz-cut director saw deep distrust.
It was as if he were saying, "I've already gotten into character, what's wrong with you guys?"
Thinking this, the buzz-cut director quickly told the others to hide.
"Everyone, hide!"
The staff members were also shocked by this version of "Ikegoshi." While hiding, they whispered excitedly:
"Wow, he's really throwing away his image!"
"Should we try filming this?"
The cameraman looked toward the buzz-cut director. He thought this look was already explosive:
A caveman and a kimono-clad beauty!
But the buzz-cut director shook his head—not because he thought the image was inappropriate, but because...
"This kind of look? It's been done a lot in past shows. He's still holding onto some of that idol restraint—"
Do you have no shame?!
Almost as if he had heard the director's thoughts.
Before the buzz-cut director could even finish speaking, he saw Kohei take off the one and only leaf covering his lower half—and instantly switched into "full freedom mode."
Even the anchorwoman, Yukino, was shocked by Kohei's decisiveness and softly muttered, "It's like Ikegoshi has completely forgotten he's on camera. Is this the character he created for himself?"
"Should we keep filming?"
Hearing this, the buzz-cut director nodded enthusiastically. Since Ikegoshi had gone this far for the show, of course they should keep filming!
He turned to the props team and said,
"Release a rhinoceros beetle. Let's see how Ikegoshi reacts."
He was curious to see what kind of surprise "Ikegoshi" would give him next!
Under the lens of the camera, a beetle was released from its cage and flew toward Kohei.
And by sheer coincidence, it landed right in front of him on the grass.
At that distance—
Any normal person would have noticed it!
The crew hiding in the grass all held their breath, watching nervously.
Closer...
Even closer...
It looked like "Ikegoshi" had spotted the beetle!
So what would he do?
Pick it up?
Get scared?
Or
Under their intense stares, Kohei moved!
He started to run, yes a running start. Judging by his posture... was he going to kick it?!
"Rarako, lend me your power! Let's destroy this evil beetle monster!"
To everyone's shock, the poor beetle was sent flying by a powerful kick.
And, yes it even had a beautiful arc.
PFFT!
The buzz-cut director spat out a mouthful of blood. He had imagined countless scenarios, but this was never one of them!
This was supposed to be an insect education show!
And here you are shouting like a magical girl while kicking the beetle away?! What the hell?!
Are you playing the villain of the show now?
Yukino, the insect-loving anchorwoman, was so shocked that she ran forward the moment the beetle got kicked.
"Ikegoshi!"
Seeing the beautiful woman running toward him, Kohei did something even more unexpected.
He turned and bolted, yelling while running, "Stranger danger! Don't come near me!"
His reaction stunned Yukino, who had wanted to give him a stern talking-to.
For a moment, she genuinely questioned whether she ever really understood "Ikegoshi."
Had they really worked together before?
Had she even met Ikegoshi before?!
Hiding in the grass, the buzz-cut director twitched.
Now he finally understood what that producer meant when he said, "Every step of this pushes beyond audience expectations."
How could anyone imagine that a guest on an insect education show would have a character setting of a socially anxious, exhibitionist, beetle-kicking weirdo?!
This character was just... a little too explosive!
...
Elsewhere—
Having finished washing his face, the real Ikegoshi returned to the original spot, utterly confused.
So... where is everyone?
Did the crew ditch me because my character wasn't working?!
They even left the car behind?!!
He felt like he could still be salvaged!
(Ｔ▽Ｔ)
...
At the same time
In a nearby tree, a huge rhinoceros beetle sighed mournfully.
"Sigh... So where have all the beetles gone?"
Kamishiro climbed down from the tree with a frustrated face and sat on the ground. "At this rate, there's no way I can get close to Anchorwoman Yukino…"
Looks like... I'll have to use an American cockroach instead…
Feeling dejected, Kamishiro actually began to consider the odds of successfully tricking a bug show anchor with a cockroach disguised as a beetle.
They're both insects—so the odds of success shouldn't be that low, right?
Yeah, right!
Even a novice like him knew the difference between the two was massive.
Kamishiro sighed again and stood up helplessly, preparing to search elsewhere.
If he couldn't find one this time... then it just meant that his fate with Anchorwoman Yukino could only be maintained with money!
That's right!
He was planning to use money power!
Just buy one directly!
Truly, there's nothing that money can't solve~
Having thought of a backup plan, Kamishiro's mood visibly improved. He even considered just giving up and taking a nap.
Should he just stop searching and go lie down?
Just as he was about to act on that thought, a scream rang out behind him.
"Mommy! Such a huge bug!!"
(′｀;)?
Bug?
Where?
Kamishiro turned around and saw a blond man fleeing in a panic.
Was that...
Kohei?
Kohei found clothes again?
Apparently, the earlier scream had been so piercing that it not only caught Kamishiro's attention, but also that of... other creatures.
Like wild men.
"Bug? Where's the bug?"
"Did we finally find the beetle?"
Two "senpai," wearing nothing but a leaf, burst out of the grass. They had also been searching for a rhinoceros beetle for quite some time.
After all, it's a beetle!
What boy could resist Kamen Rider?
Seeing the two muscular figures in front of him, Ikegoshi slammed on the brakes mid-sprint.
"Perverts!!!"
The two senpai were startled and forgot all about the beetle, looking around warily.
"Perverts?"
"Where?"
"Right there! Right in front of my face, at super close range!"
Ikegoshi screamed, wondering if the muscle brothers had finally gotten bored of their usual club activities.
Were they really doing this on a mountain now, just to feel the thrill?!
Tokita, Kotobuki: ???
It took the two senpai a while to realize that the "perverts" in "Kohei's" mouth were actually referring to them.
By the way, what's up with Kohei's outfit?
"Kohei, why are you panicking?"
"Drink some water and calm down."
Though they didn't quite understand what was going on with him, Tokita still handed over a cup of "water" to help him calm down.
"..."
Ikegoshi twitched at the corner of his eye as he looked at the "water" in front of him. So… where exactly did these two guys, who weren't even wearing clothes, pull this cup of "water" from?
Also… was this really water?
The fumes of alcohol made tears well up in his eyes uncontrollably.
"Eyes! My Eyes!"
Ikegoshi: "This is definitely not water!"
Tokita: "What are you talking about?"
Kotobuki: "Just look at the color—clearly it's water."
Ikegoshi: "Forget the color! Can we please talk about the contents!?"
At this moment, Ikegoshi felt like he'd accidentally joined some sort of dangerous cult.
The two senpai blinked in confusion as they watched "Kohei's" strange behavior.
"What's going on, Kohei?"
"You're acting like this is your first time hanging out with us."
As they spoke, they handed another cup of "oolong tea" to Ikegoshi.
"Then drink some oolong tea instead."
"This cup too…"
Just as Ikegoshi was about to refuse, a huge shadow suddenly loomed over him.
That shadow…
It was a beetle!
Not only that, he also felt someone hug him from behind.
A somewhat familiar voice spoke from behind.
"Kohei would never refuse oolong tea~"
!!!
Ikegoshi couldn't even process who the voice belonged to anymore—all he could think about was…
Help! A giant rhinoceros beetle just talked!!
Afraid of angering the beetle monster and getting eaten alive, Ikegoshi trembled as he accepted the cup and downed the suspicious liquid in one gulp.
In an instant—
His legs gave out. His whole body went limp, his throat burned, and he couldn't utter a word.
This alcohol was definitely stronger than 60 proof!!!
Seeing that "Kohei" drank the oolong tea, the two senpai finally nodded in satisfaction.
That's more like it—that's the Kohei they knew!
"Well, if you're okay now, we'll head over there and check things out."
"We've picked up most of the chestnuts around here, and haven't seen any beetles."
Watching the backs of the two "wild men" as they walked away, Ikegoshi felt emotionally destroyed.
Are you serious? You're dressed like that to pick up chestnuts?!
Anyone who didn't know would think you two were the ones filming a variety show!
Also… did they seriously not see the giant beetle right behind him?
Out of the corner of his eye, Ikegoshi caught sight of those shiny, metallic antennae and began trembling again.
Someone please tell him this was all just some hidden-camera prank show
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)