The security guard outside the venue glanced at his phone, took a drag from his cigarette, and said calmly:
"You can go in now."
That single, casual sentence instantly quieted the previously chaotic line.
All kinds of beasts had red light flashing in their eyes—this was the moment they had been waiting for far too long!
Hoo—
The guard exhaled another puff of smoke, gazing at the blue sky. Behind his sunglasses, his eyes were filled with emotion.
He made up his mind: next time… he would absolutely not take on this event again!!!
With a wave of his hand, the tall security guard opened the doors to the venue.
The pitch-black entrance looked like a bottomless abyss, constantly luring the youths who were intoxicated by lust.
The next second—
Everyone rushed into the venue like maniacs.
"Mine, mine! First place is mine!"
"Bastard! No way I'm giving you the chance to make the strongest first impression!"
"Get out of the way!!!"
Clearly, the beasts all understood one thing.
Although everyone would get a chance to talk to the goddess, the one who left the deepest impression would always be the first.
And the one with the highest chance of being chosen… would definitely be the first!
For that tiny sliver of possibility, this group of beasts had completely lost their minds.
They scared Nojima, Kohei, and the others so badly they thought they'd wandered into a zombie apocalypse.
Kohei: "This is even crazier than I imagined… Kitahara, you actually seem pretty normal."
As he said that, Kohei turned his head to ask Kitahara what he thought.
But then he realized—
Why had the masked guy who looked just like him suddenly turned into someone with spiky blond hair?!
Kohei: {{(°△°; "}}!
"Kitahara? Kitahara?! You bastard, why are you running too?!"
Kohei looked around frantically and finally spotted his best buddy in the pile of 'zombies' ahead.
Without hesitation, he charged straight toward him!
Leaving a socially awkward guy alone in an unfamiliar place, with a stranger staring at him without blinking…
He'd rather be trampled by the crowd!
Kitahara!
Slow down, damn it!
Stop pushing!
"Hmm…"
At that moment, the spiky blond-haired boy who had been standing behind Kohei stared thoughtfully in the direction Kohei ran off to.
"It really does look like the clothes Hidenori wears… Those two idiots didn't get into trouble, did they?!"
Unable to contact Hidenori or Tadakuni, Yoshitake suddenly felt a very ominous premonition.
He'd thought it was strange—how could you lose people just buying coffee?
Now it seemed… something had definitely happened.
Yoshitake's face was full of conflict. On one side were his brothers; on the other, his goddess!
It was seriously—
Slap!
Yoshitake slapped himself hard across the face.
"Damn it! At a time like this, I'm still hesitating over something like that?!
My bond with them is irreplaceable!"
With that, Yoshitake charged straight into the 'zombie horde'!
That's right!
Their brotherly bond was irreplaceable, so… his brothers would surely understand him, right? This was a once-in-a-lifetime wish!
Hidenori, Tadakuni: "What the hell?!"
Of course, Yoshitake was still thinking about his bros.
He knew that even if he went looking for them, he probably wouldn't be able to find them anyway.
So it was better to gamble on the golden ticket!
If he really got selected, he'd definitely have another chance to let his brothers meet their goddess!
A perfect solution!
After comforting himself like that, Yoshitake's guilt instantly vanished, and his body felt even stronger!
Surely… this was Hidenori and Tadakuni acknowledging him!
Hidenori!
Tadakuni!
Don't worry—I won't let you down!
I'll definitely show the goddess my charm!
Wait for me!
Hidenori, Tadakuni: "..."
"Damn it, you assholes, stop pushing!"
"Everyone gets a chance, okay?!"
"Don't pull my underwear!"
"Hey! Which bastard just touched my ass?! You're not some guy sneaking in here, are you?!"
"..."
Listening to the noisy chaos, the security guard quietly smoked on the side.
He looked visibly depressed—three puffs per cigarette.
"Aren't you going to manage this?"
Hijikata asked, not sure where he'd found a wooden sword that he tucked into his waist. Cigarette in his mouth, he stared at the chaotic scene ahead.
"Heh."
The guard gave a self-mocking smile and shook his head.
"No need. The only reason it's this chaotic is because Momo san hasn't appeared yet.
When she does, her words will be way more effective than mine."
These beasts practically worshiped their goddess as a deity!
"Really? Then your job as a guard sounds pretty easy."
"..."
Hearing that, the guard turned around, took off his sunglasses, and stared at the bastard cop with dead fish eyes.
"You know, I could actually be even more relaxed. Normally, I should be sitting at the entrance, drinking tea, and enjoying the youthful vibes of young girls!"
"Don't be so gloomy all the time, old man. You need some passion for your work!"
Security guard: "..."
(???)
How does this bastard have the nerve to lecture me?!
All this time, he hadn't seen this bastard do a single thing related to his actual job!
Not only that—he was stealing his cigarettes!
That pack was expensive!
He barely even smoked them himself, and now… they were gone. Completely gone!
And this bastard didn't even reflect on it—he started cosplaying?!
Wake up!
The Edo period ended ages ago! Modern cops are polite!
Not bandits!
If you really can't do the job, go run a gang or something. He'd gladly take over the police role!
Unfortunately—
Hijikata didn't notice the guard's pitch-black expression at all. After taking another drag, he casually said:
"Come on, cheer up, old man. Don't you think it feels even more youthful now than before?"
Hearing that, the guard looked up and realized that, at some point, a group of vibrant, youthful girls had started approaching them.
Instantly, the guard felt like he'd returned to his high school days—he felt years younger.
But…
He didn't dare have any improper thoughts!
Putting aside the problem of the tiger waiting at home, could someone explain why there was a group of boys next to the girls holding wooden swords, shovels, cement blocks, and other weapons?!
Security guard: (???)
"Given the situation, don't you have anything you want to say?"
Looking at the difference in numbers between the two sides, the guard felt that today's winds were truly turbulent.
Just what kind of website was that, to summon this many high schoolers?!
Hey, hey—do you even know what kind of place this is?!
R-18!!!
Be careful, or the police will arrest you!
Wait…
They were called here by the police…
Alright then, never mind.
The guard pulled out his phone and stared seriously at Hijikata. If he didn't get a reasonable explanation today, don't blame him for being ruthless!
Now only magic could defeat magic—police versus police!
"Say what? Ugh, what a pain!"
Hijikata scratched his head, then pulled out a big loudspeaker from behind his butt.
"Hello, hello—can you hear me?"
"..."
Seeing the policeman using a loudspeaker, the crowd fell silent.
They'd already been wiped out once by this guy before—this time, they needed to be careful!
"Um, officer, these are just props."
At that moment, a scruffy guy with torn clothes, a bandaged right hand, and spiky blue hair stepped forward with an awkward smile to explain.
Last time, he'd been one of the people arrested. Seeing this violent officer again, he forced himself to step out despite his fear.
Mainly because he was afraid Hijikata would 'misunderstand' again and haul them all off to the police station.
A one-day trip to the police station wouldn't be a big deal—but if they missed the chance to capture Kamishiro because of this, that would be a huge problem!
"Oh, it's you."
Hijikata glanced at the brat in front of him and immediately recognized who it was.
After all… a high schooler who still had bandages wrapped around himself and loudly claimed that if his seal were released, he'd destroy the police station. A full-blown chuunibyou like that was extremely rare.
You really had to admit, that high school was incredibly tolerant.
Looking at the weapons in the kids' hands, a villainous smile crept onto Hijikata's face.
That's right!
This was exactly the outcome he wanted!
"Well, no need to explain. I'm just here to maintain order this time.
The person you're looking for is inside, but there's a meet-and-greet going on right now. If you don't have tickets, then wait outside."
As soon as he said that, the crowd erupted with excitement.
After all this time, this was the closest they'd ever been to that scumbag Kamishiro!
How could they just wait out here?!
What if Kamishiro ran away?!
"Hoo—"
As if he'd seen through their thoughts, Hijikata blew out a smoke ring and continued:
"Relax, he's not getting away. There are only two exits here.
Send some people to guard the back door. When it's over, you can go in directly.
Of course… you could also try forcing your way in!
The pork cutlet rice at the police station is pretty good."
When he said that last part, a sharp glint flashed through Hijikata's eyes. He wouldn't mind enjoying a little appetizer before the main course~
Gulp.
Even though there was only one man, Hijikata's presence made everyone there feel like they couldn't breathe.
At the end of the day, no matter how violent they were, they were still just ordinary high school students.
It was only natural for them to fear the police.
Of course…
If Kamishiro were standing right in front of them, things might have turned out very differently.
Then they'd show this cop exactly why most Japanese light novels star high schoolers!
High schoolers could be vicious criminals too!
But under the current circumstances, everyone chose to behave like good, obedient students.
They'd already waited this long—waiting a little longer wouldn't kill them.
The chuunibyou kid silently led a group of people off to block the back entrance.
Today!
He, the "Jet-Black Wings," would deliver justice to the people!
...
Watching the growing crowd outside the venue, the security guard felt his heart ache.
Hadn't the other police noticed something was wrong here?!
Weren't Tokyo cops supposed to show up in groups of two or three?!
Everything happening today was gradually shattering his good image of Tokyo police.
As he was struggling to make sense of it, he happened to meet Hijikata's gaze.
In an instant—
The guard seemed to understand something.
Normal people probably couldn't partner up with someone like this.
"Ah…"
"Old man, this lifestyle of yours isn't great. The youth you wanted is right here—aren't you going to take a good look?"
Facing Hijikata's goodwill, the guard waved him off.
"No thanks. I'm afraid you'll arrest me next."
How was he supposed to trust a cop who literally planned a riot?!
"Tch."
"..."
Security guard: (???)
He tched, didn't he?!
That bastard absolutely just thought about arresting me!!!
The guard suddenly felt heartache for his cigarettes.
If he'd known more than half of them would be stolen by this jerk, he would've smoked a few more earlier.
"Hmph! Tell me, kid—aren't you afraid of getting reported? This is an AV actress meet-and-greet!"
Normally speaking, people under 18 weren't supposed to be exposed to this kind of thing.
Of course… that rule was mostly just lip service. No one really cared.
In some high school circles, having no sexual experience was something you got mocked for!
"So what? It's just a meet-and-greet."
"It's still not appropriate…"
The guard weakly protested.
"If your superiors find out you brought high school brats to a place like this, your vice-commander—"
"Minor issue. They didn't go inside, and besides—"
Smash!
Right in front of the guard, Hijikata slammed his phone onto the ground and stomped on it twice.
After that, a crazed smile spread across his face.
"And besides, he'll never know I was the one who did it!!!"
"..."
Seeing this, the security guard fell into an unusually long silence.
Quietly clutching his thermos, he shuffled backward a little.
He was afraid that if he stayed next to this guy any longer, he'd be silenced.
This man had gone insane for the sake of his vice-commander!
Damn it!
Why did you act so normal earlier?!
If you'd shown this level of madness sooner, I wouldn't have looked at your phone in the first place!
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
Curiosity really does kill!
Still—
Looking at all the innocent, youthful faces around him, the guard felt he should do something for them.
At the very least, to calm his own restless heart.
At that moment—
The guard's expression became extremely serious.
And then—
Very devoutly, he drew a cross over his chest.
Hijikata: "..."
Hijikata, who'd been keeping an eye on the guard the whole time, witnessed everything and silently raised his thumb.
Didn't expect it—this old man's got moves!!!
...