"Phew…"
The moment Lucia left the room, Ashen heaved a weary sigh, his shoulders sagging. He ran both hands down his face.
"You get rid of a problem, and a hundred more follow."
His life was temporarily safe, and so was Alice's. But now he had to deal with family drama, his partner's curse, and the mysterious disappearance of a certain Saintess.
He really couldn't catch a break.
"And such is life." He stared at the ceiling, arms spread wide on the bed. "As long as you live, conflicts will follow."
After quitting the internal complaints, he took this moment of peace to reflect on his actions thus far. Reflecting on oneself was one of the methods of self-improvement, after all.
It revealed your flaws, highlighted your missteps, and showed you the path to improvement.
But as he kept reflecting, brow furrowing deeper with each passing thought, he found many inconsistencies, mainly when he thought about his twin.
In the first timeline, he was sure he didn't have an innate skill to call another version of himself to deal with that, since it was literally the first run… so how did he do it?
His fingers drummed against his thigh.
No… in the first place, on his first run, he didn't even join the Wrath Domain. He only did so under his twin's interference. And he was also sure that Secrets and the Astrologer didn't succeed in breaching the Great Wall because he knew the real culprit behind the domain's destruction from his dreams—Miserys.
Even if put into consideration that he was among the inner domains' reinforcements and joined the battle, it didn't make sense that he'd make a difference.
So that begged the question: How did the domain survive? How did Cornelia survive? And… how did he survive?
Ashen sat up slowly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
There must have been someone else who held the sky in his place. As for his survival… during that time, he must have hidden and avoided the main stage. That way, Secrets would have failed to notice him.
But for him to take that decision, he must have had a completely different mentality. A lack of confidence, perhaps. A more selfish disposition, and surely a lazier one…
He rubbed his temples, pieces clicking into place.
"Yeah… the constant lectures of my other self seem to be doing wonders on my psyche… Willpower, huh…"
As he remembered his meetings with that 'older brother' of his—from the first one at the tutorial where he'd refused to help and guided him to gradually abandon his laziness until even the system acknowledged the change… to the second one where they'd had an argument that ended with him being lectured to stop making excuses for everything and simply act instead…
That meeting was the second turning point for him, as well as the beginning of his crazy training in the dreamscape.
And finally, the last meeting was right before he went into slumber. That one was like an awakening for Ashen.
His hands clenched into fists on his knees.
It opened his eyes to his greatest gift: his infinite willpower. It made him look at life differently. It made him have confidence that he could really save this world as long as his will held steady.
That was why he never gave up despite the overwhelming odds.
That was why he dared to chase after fame and stick his head out.
That was why he dared to face the Astrologer.
That was why he dared to face innumerable Beasts and despairing Demons.
Why he dared to finally stand before an Outer God…
…And why that Outer God fell.
Because of his twin soul, he'd been guided—No, manipulated to finally stand before a God.
All so that he could come out for a few moments and slay that God.
"Isn't that right, big brother?"
{...}
"Don't worry…" He leaned back, putting a palm over his eyes. "I'm not mad."
His lips curved into a sardonic smile beneath his hand. "But damn… haha… what a good little puppet I was."
He dropped his hand, staring at nothing. "Now I understand all that talk about not interfering a bit more… Turns out, having someone control you, even if the outcome was acceptable, is a pretty shitty feeling."
{I'm sorry, little brother… but I had to kill that little shit myself.}
The silent voice finally answered back, and it was an apology, unexpectedly.
"Sorry?" Ashen's voice rose sharply. "Motherfucker, a heads-up would have been better!"
{...We have the same mother.}
"Well, fuck you and my mother!"
He stood abruptly, pacing across the small room.
{...}
Seems he was really riled up this time, the older twin thought.
{I indeed guided you toward a certain outcome with my words, but it was only because it was a special case. The crow's power would have exposed us sooner or later when he started asking the right questions…}
{And while he couldn't divulge his knowledge to the others, they already knew of his conceptual powers and would make sure to keep an eye on his movements, which would eventually lead to us.}
{The first time around, being spared from his gaze was merely due to my late awakening to my nature and… luck. You are not guaranteed to be as lucky.}
Ashen stopped pacing, his back to the window, arms crossed tightly.
"..."
{And… my every word to you is free of falsehood, so there is no need to doubt yourself. You are doing fine.}
"What pleasing sounding words." Ashen's shoulders relaxed slightly, though his tone remained sharp. "I can't believe they're coming from my grumpy version. What's the occasion? Are we gonna hunt another Outer God?"
{Not anytime soon.}
The older counterpart didn't seem to acknowledge the sarcasm and answered seriously.
{It doesn't mean you can slack off, however. In the first run, Cornelia Arde took the last step when her right-hand woman died, allowing her to save her domain with her newfound powers…}
"And it obviously didn't happen this time around because of a certain someone…" Ashen muttered, turning to look out the window.
{Look at the bright side, at least there is one less of them.}
Ashen finally sighed in defeat, his breath fogging the glass slightly. "True."
Also, it wasn't like Cornelia couldn't ascend to the First Step in due time on her own.
He turned back from the window, concern softening his features. "...By the way, are you fine? That backlash seemed to do a number on you since your coma lasted for months."
{I can stay conscious for a couple of hours every day for now. But I should be completely healed in a couple of months.}
"Great." Ashen's expression eased further. "And no more deceiving me…"
{Secrets is dead, so there is no need for that.}
"Good." Ashen's expression finally softened completely, the tension draining from his frame.
.
.
.
"Child."
A voice, soft and oddly old, suddenly slipped into his senses. "How pleasing; this harmony you keep with your other self."
He didn't know how or when it bypassed his guard, but he couldn't muster any vigilance or even put up any defense despite that.
He turned, and his eyes lay bare to the most beguiling woman he'd ever set his eyes on.
It was Miratheris, the spirit of the planet.
She still wore her flowing white dress, crossing her legs as she sat on empty air. Those storm-grey eyes regarded him with almost doting indulgence, and her presence seemed to fill the room with warmth.
Ashen's breath caught for a moment before he managed to speak.
"...Lady Miratheris?"
"Forgive the intrusion." She purred, head tilting with coy grace, a strand of silver hair falling across her shoulder. "I hope my suddenness offends you as little as a warm wind."
Ashen found his head shaking on its own, his posture unconsciously relaxing. "Not at all."
While he wasn't as smitten as the first time he'd met her, he still failed to muster any ounce of hostility or vigilance toward her. Maybe it was her own doing, but Ashen felt it was more a passive effect of her presence.
Basking in her aura felt like taking shelter in your home's hearth on a stormy night. As if coming back to your nest after grueling travel. As if finding a safe refuge that would shield you from every disaster.
His shoulders dropped, his breathing deepened and steadied.
Being by her side simply felt like home. And who would dare to harm their home?
But her being the spirit of the literal planet they lived on made her the home of every creature on its surface, so perhaps what he was feeling wasn't misplaced.
"Lady… is there a reason for your visit?" he asked softly, looking up at her.
She let that settle, then smiled, knowing and a little amused. Her fingers traced idle patterns in the air.
"Sweet child, memory slips so easily when one survives the impossible. Every triumph demands its due. And you, who struck down a god…" She leaned forward slightly, her gaze intensifying. "Did you truly expect no recompense?"