To this Shirou replied, "I can't really say concretely either, but before the Grand Order was appointed, Chaldea was actually in a sort of failed state; there were only three Heroic Spirits truly summoned."
"The one whose power was entrusted to Mash was the second."
"Ho ho—", Xuanzang Sanzang praised, "that fellow had an eye for it, though I don't know which Heroic Spirit it was."
"However, he probably would feel it's a pity, right?"
"Hm?", Shirou didn't quite understand and said, "If it was that Heroic Spirit, I don't think—"
Before he could finish, Xuanzang Sanzang interrupted, shaking her head, "I didn't mean that."
She said, "Being summoned as a Servant is, for us, even for the Heroic Spirit's incarnation, a miracle that can only be encountered, not sought."
"Moreover, you should understand how incredible it is to appear in the present world as an 'individual' like this. Similarly, the Servants who are summoned must think so as well."
"A life never gets a second chance, and yet this miracle really showed up right in front of them."
"Precisely because of that, they act for their own wishes. Rather than saying they were summoned because they had wishes, it's more accurate to say that being summoned made them have wishes they wanted to fulfill."
"A second dream that can end the moment one slacks off."
"Thinking that such a miracle won't appear again and then taking action, whether to make up for regrets from before, or to continue following their own path, I don't think either is wrong."
Xuanzang Sanzang asked, "Do you get what I mean, Shirou?"
"Yeah, I know, and I understand," Shirou nodded.
Whether it was Gawain, or the Round Table knights who wiped each other out and disappeared the day they were summoned, each chose to fight for one of those two thoughts.
But this is a very cruel thing.
Not referring to the so-called fratricidal fighting, but to a simpler aspect.
That is, even though they gained a brief life, they can only be passersby; as anomalies that don't belong to this era, they are excluded.
Da Vinci wasn't entirely wrong.
No matter how nicely it's said, reality will tell you a Servant is a tool to be used and discarded.
This has nothing to do with people's sincerest feelings, even if no one treats Servants as tools.
A sense of alienation naturally arises.
To understand that, Shirou said, "Although it goes against my heart a bit, seeing even a childish person like you become sentimental, I'll reluctantly admit you're my comrade~"
After saying that he tilted his head slightly, playing up the tsundere to the extreme.
"See," Xuanzang Sanzang completely ignored the not-so-friendly remark and immediately grew proud, "I am an expert traveler, eighty-one trials and tribulations can't stop me."
In a sense, that's a kind of strength.
Shirou rubbed his forehead and chose to change the subject. Otherwise he was afraid she'd rattle on.
As for training, he'd already given up struggling.
"By the way, you're really Xuanzang Sanzang who's finished the eighty-one trials and is on her way home, right?"
"That's right."
"If so, why are you appearing here as a Servant?"
If the pilgrimage were completed, she shouldn't have any wishes left, right?
"Is that even a question?", Xuanzang Sanzang said angrily:
"I went to fetch the scriptures to become famous, so when I returned to Lei Yin Temple I could live a comfortable, lazy life. Too bad I appeared here before I could return…"
"Nonsense!"
Xuanzang Sanzang suddenly laughed, "Although part of it is for that reason, ultimately it's because of me."
She said, "Sometimes I can hear the voice of Buddha. Once I hear it, no one can stop me."
"Indeed, I'm timid, I cry easily, and I'm very headstrong, but when I hear the Buddha's voice, I can't help but act."
"Going to India for scriptures, punishing Wukong, leaving the Holy City, crossing deserts, all were directed by the Buddha."
Xuanzang Sanzang reached to touch Fou, but Fou dodged.
That little look seemed to say, 'Am I something you can touch too?'
If it had been any other time, Xuanzang Sanzang would have rolled up her sleeves to prove herself, but now…
Her gaze moved to Shirou, "Wukong once told me that although that is called the Buddha's voice, it doesn't come from the heavens; it comes from the depths of one's heart."
"You saying everyone can become a Buddha is your own voice. You just borrowed the voice of the Buddha in your heart early."
"Wukong is a foolish disciple, but sometimes he says some really cool things," Xuanzang Sanzang smiled lightly.
"So rather than calling it the Buddha, it's more like you borrowing Buddha to pluck up courage."
"Believing that choice is correct, thinking you walk the right path… you're like that too, aren't you?"
"Don't lie to me," Xuanzang Sanzang said, "I am a high monk, you can't fool me."
'Since when did she realize she is a high monk?'
Shirou sighed helplessly, "When did I plan to lie to you?"
"Who knows," Xuanzang Sanzang, unusually serious, said, "I just have this feeling, you aren't lying, but to me it looks like a kind of deception."
"The most obvious place, have you had a proper rest?"
"I—"
This question stopped Shirou.
"See!", Xuanzang Sanzang pointed, "You always treat behaviors that seem almost masochistic to us as if they're completely normal."
"You should say you know this is a kind of self-deceptive comfort, but you still use it to console yourself."
"Treating this distortion as normal, making helping others your own wish, if you don't live for others you can't move forward."
"This is different from those who say 'I live for this' and thus must push themselves; this is essentially sham, a nothingness, lacking self!"
"Simply put… a counterfeit!", Xuanzang Sanzang stated Shirou's essence, "Ideals borrowed from others, will borrowed from others, a path borrowed from others, nothing that belongs to you, no wish from the heart…"
Xuanzang Sanzang looked at him with bright eyes, "I ask you, Shirou, haven't you ever thought of living for yourself?"
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