Hachiman's Side
— Cafeteria: Kitchen —
Hachiman: "..."
"Trainer Hikigaya's technique is as impressive as always, isn't it? I mean, look at him... he's handling that insane workload without even breaking a sweat."
"I've seen it a few times, but he really is in a league of his own... He mentioned he learned from his teacher, but what kind of spartan instructor must they have been?"
"He must have had a certain level of skill to begin with, right? And then maybe he was... demonically modified from there?"
...I get the feeling they're whispering about me, but whatever. For now, I just need to finish the dish in front of me.
— Several Tens of Minutes Later —
Hachiman: "..." (Chomp)
Hachiman: "...Tch. Still nowhere near good enough."
"Ehh?! It's still no good?!"
Hachiman: "Whoa!?"
"Ah, sorry... Um, is it okay if I try some?"
Hachiman: "You can, but I'm telling you, it's a failure."
"Thank you! Well then... Om nom... Mmm?! W-Wait, is this really a failure?! It's incredibly delicious!"
Hachiman: "This level of quality is completely unacceptable..."
Lately, I've been doing nothing but building training menus, so I've only been cooking simple meals for myself. That's why I asked to borrow the kitchen today to get some practice in. The result, as you can see, is a bust...
"Hey, Trainer? Why don't you just give this to the students? First come, first served."
Hachiman: "No. If I do that, those guys will definitely sniff it out and swarm me. I absolutely want to avoid that... Ah! I just had a good idea."
— Lunch Break —
Hachiman: "Oh good, you all gathered."
Rudolph: "Air Groove mentioned you had a request for us, Hachiman. What is it?"
Air Groove: "What exactly is this business?"
Dober: "..." (Glare)
Fine Motion: "So, what's up, Trainer?"
Hachiman: "Yeah, I have a small favor to ask. I was cooking a little while ago, but my skills have gotten a bit rusty... So, I wanted to ask you guys to taste-test it for me. I could have asked anyone, but I figured I'd get reliable feedback from people with refined palates like Air Groove, Rudolph, and... well, all of you are from distinguished families, so I thought Dober and Fine would give me solid opinions, too. Would you mind helping me out?"
Rudolph: "If that is the case, we would be happy to accept."
Fine Motion: "Ya~ay! ♪ The Trainer's cooking!!"
Air Groove: "I see no reason to decline. We'll do it."
Dober: "...Well, I guess it's fine."
Hachiman: "Alright, I'll go bring it out—"
Rudolph: "No, wait a moment, Hachiman."
Hachiman: "Hmm? What is it?"
Rudolph: "If you carry the food out yourself, Narita Brian and her group will likely catch on. We should go retrieve it instead. If you come to our table afterward, there shouldn't be any issues."
Hachiman: "...Are you a genius?" (Squeeze!)
Rudolph: "Gh... U-Umu. I am somewhat at a loss for how to react when you do that."
Air Groove: "Hachiman, stop acting strangely with the President..."
Hachiman: "Oops, my bad... Alright, I'll plate the food in the kitchen, so come and get it."
I returned to the kitchen and began plating the dishes. As instructed, the four of them came to collect the food and brought it back to their table. Shortly after, I grabbed my own portion and joined them.
Rudolph: "So, you claim your skills have dulled with this?"
Hachiman: "I made a few batches and tasted them, but they weren't very good."
Air Groove: "Hachiman... are you sure about making us taste-test this?"
Hachiman: "Well, the chef gave it a 'Delicious!!' rating, but... anyway, could you just try it? I want your honest impressions."
Fine Motion: "Let's eat, let's eat! ♪ Come on, Dober, you too, Groove-san!"
Air Groove: "...You really know no fear. However, Hachiman's skill is a known quantity. Since he went to the trouble of making it, let us partake."
Dober: "Y-Yes... Thanks for the food."
Rudolph: "Well then, Hachiman. Let's eat."
Everyone took a bite... and so did I. Yeah, I forget exactly when the last time I cooked was, but because I'm the one who made it, I can tell. Compared to before, it's just not that tasty. It's not like it's inedible or anything, though.
Dober: "...Trainer?"
Hachiman: "Hmm? What?"
Dober: "Look, honestly... what do you think of this?"
Hachiman: "Honestly? Compared to before, it's not good."
Dober: "...If you think this isn't good, aren't your taste buds broken or something?"
Hachiman: "Eh, you really think so?"
Rudolph: "Mejiro Dober is right. I think it is more than delicious enough."
Fine Motion: "Yep! It's super yummy! ♪ I want to hire you as my exclusive chef!!"
Air Groove: "The President is right, Hachiman. You said it wasn't good, but we don't think it tastes bad at all. In fact, we think it's delicious."
Hachiman: "...Is that so? It's good, huh?"
I felt a little relieved... My skills may have dulled, but it seems the students still find it tasty.
Hachiman: "Guess I'll just have to get my groove back little by little."
Fine Motion: "Ah! But you know, Trainer? There's a way to make the same dish taste even better! ♪"
Hachiman: "...Hoh, interesting. And that is?"
Fine Motion: "It's this... Here, say ahhh-n! ♪"
Hachiman: "...Eh?"
Dober: "F-Fine-senpai?!"
Air Groove: "Wh-What are you doing?!"
Fine Motion: "But they say food tastes better this way, right? Come on, Trainer, hurry up and eat!"
Hachiman: "No, that's a little too..."
Fine Motion: "You~ peasant, are you saying you won't listen to my orders~?"
Air Groove: "A-Anyway, you can't do that!! There are other students watching, you know!?"
Rudolph: "Air Groove... while you say that, what exactly is that object you are thrusting toward Hachiman?"
Air Groove: "...I merely held out my spoon instead of my finger. Pointing it at Hachiman was simply a mistake."
Dober: "...I can use this for my manga." (Whisper)
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