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Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv at unhinged_uchiha
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At a real estate agency somewhere in Konoha—
"Hah... aren't you that eternal Genin?" the agent scoffed as he looked Duy up and down. "What's your name again? Ah, whatever. It doesn't matter. What are you doing here?"
Everyone in Konoha knew who Might Duy was. He was the village's eternal Genin, a man who had remained at the lowest rank for as long as most people could remember. Seeing someone like him walk into a real estate office, especially one that specialized in expensive properties located in Konoha's prime districts, was enough to make the agent dismiss him immediately. In his eyes, Duy was a poor Genin who had accomplished nothing in nearly twenty years. What possible reason could such a person have for visiting a place like this?
'Is he here to beg for a job?' that was the only possibility the agent could think of.
Duy noticed the contempt in the man's eyes but chose to ignore it. "I want to buy a house," he said honestly.
The agent stared at him for a moment before letting out a long sigh. "Do people really think my time exists to be wasted by the likes of them?" Shaking his head, he looked at Duy again and asked with a straight face, "Did you win a lottery or something?"
Duy shook his head. "No."
"Then were you recently promoted to Jōnin by Hokage-sama?"
"No."
The agent frowned. "Did you happen to find a million ryō lying somewhere on the street?"
Duy looked speechless. "How could I possibly find a million ryō lying on the street?"
"Then what exactly are you doing here?" the agent snapped. "Get lost."
"W-Wait... please listen to me first!" Duy hurriedly said, trying to explain himself. Unfortunately, the agent had already lost interest. Waving his hand dismissively, he signaled toward the guards nearby. "Throw him out. I don't know where these people keep coming from."
If it was for a job, he might have taken some pity and kept the useless man as a waterboy... but buy a house? A useless man like him? Haah... not even in several lifetimes!
The guards immediately stepped forward. Before Duy could say another word, they grabbed him and escorted him outside. Even then, they weren't finished mocking him.
"An eternal Genin like you wants to buy a house?" one of them laughed. "Forget buying a house from here. Forget buying a house anywhere."
"You're dreaming," another guard added. "Go mow some lawns instead. Maybe somebody will give you enough money for lunch."
"Hahahaha!"
The guards burst into laughter. Duy clenched his fists tightly, but in the end, he said nothing. Arguing would accomplish nothing, and fighting would only create more trouble. Thus, he quietly turned around and walked away.
"It really is troublesome..." Duy muttered as he wandered through the streets with a disappointed expression. He had wanted to buy a house and surprise Guy with it. Although he didn't have enough money to purchase one outright, he certainly had enough for a down payment and could finance the rest. At least, that had been his plan. Unfortunately, every real estate office he visited treated him exactly the same way. The moment they recognized him as Might Duy, they either laughed at him or threw him out before he could even explain himself properly. For most of his life, he had endured ridicule without caring, but this time, things were different. This wasn't for him. It was for Guy. Yet despite having the money, nobody was willing to take him seriously.
Lost in thought, Duy continued walking through the village with slumped shoulders until he accidentally bumped into someone.
"Hey... isn't this Might Duy?" a familiar voice called out. "Or should I call you the Green Beast of the Military Police Force?"
"Hmm? You are...?" Duy looked at the shinobi in front of him and frowned slightly as he tried to remember. Although he couldn't recall the man's name, he did recognize something else. "Ah, you're the Deputy Captain, right?"
Shin's lips twitched immediately. "It's Shin, you know. How can you forget my name? Am I really that forgettable?"
"Ahahaha..." Duy scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Sorry about that. I just have a bad memory."
Shin shrugged. He didn't really care. Duy was one of their own, and compared to some of the idiots he dealt with daily, forgetting a name wasn't exactly a serious crime. Instead, he looked at Duy's face and noticed the older man seemed unusually dejected. "Anyway, what's with that expression? I heard you did great on the mission. Don't tell me you're unhappy with the results. Or what? Are you regretting something?"
"Ah... no, it's not that." Duy shook his head and, after hesitating briefly, explained what had happened at the real estate offices. He told Shin how he had wanted to buy a house, how the agents had refused to take him seriously, and how every single office had thrown him out before he could even explain himself properly.
When the explanation ended, Shin simply nodded. "So that's what happened." A grin slowly spread across his face. "That's your problem?"
Duy blinked. "To me, it seems like a pretty big problem..."
"Nah." Shin waved his hand dismissively. "That's a ridiculously simple problem. Come on, I'll help you solve it."
Duy's eyes immediately lit up. "You can solve it?"
"Of course I can solve it." Shin snorted as though the question itself was insulting. "Who do you think I am? I'm Uchiha Shin, Deputy Captain of the Military Police Force. There are very few problems in this village that I can't solve."
The smirk on Shin's face widened as he gestured toward the two policemen accompanying him. "Come on. Let's go get this guy a house. Besides..." He cracked his knuckles. "My hands have been itching lately."
The two policemen immediately understood what he meant. Matching smirks appeared on their faces as one of them chuckled and said, "Ours too."
With that, they took Duy back to the real estate agent who had kicked out Duy just a while ago.
...
"What? What? What is the Police Force doing here?"
The real estate agent's blood ran cold the moment he saw Shin and the other officers walk into his office. In Konoha, there were many people one could afford to offend, but the Military Police Force was not among them. If they decided to make trouble for someone, they could shut down an entire business and make life miserable very quickly.
"It's an inspection," Shin replied casually as he sat down opposite the agent. Crossing one leg over the other, he added, "I heard a complaint that you've been underreporting your taxes lately. Is that true?"
"How... how could that be?" the agent hurriedly replied, cold sweat already forming on his forehead. "You can ask Hokage-sama himself! I pay all my taxes properly!"
While speaking, he couldn't help glancing toward Duy. Earlier, he had thrown the eternal Genin out without a second thought. Now the Police Force had arrived with that same man standing behind them. 'This is troublesome...' he thought. Trying to salvage the situation, he decided to subtly mention one of his connections. "I just hope nothing troublesome happens here. Otherwise, I'll have a difficult time explaining things to Hokage-sama during our upcoming dinner."
A smirk immediately appeared on Shin's face. "A dinner with Sarutobi Hiruzen, huh? Don't worry. You might not even make it to that dinner. We'll be sure to send someone to inform Sarutobi Hiruzen in advance about why you couldn't attend." Without caring about the agent's increasingly pale face, Shin waved toward the two policemen accompanying him. "Go. Inspect everything. If you find even a single trace of taxes not being reported properly, shut this office down. After that, we'll make sure he spends the rest of his life rotting in prison."
The color immediately drained from the agent's face. Before the policemen could even begin searching, he collapsed onto his knees. "Uchiha-sama! Please! Please don't do this! I beg you!"
Shin raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Feeling guilty already? Could it be there really is a problem?" Originally, he had only intended to make things difficult for the man, but this reaction was far more dramatic than expected.
The agent immediately darted his eyes away, causing Shin's gaze to sharpen, 'Perhaps there really was something worth finding after all.'
"Search everything," Shin ordered coldly. "Turn the entire office upside down. If you don't find anything here, we'll head over to his house next and see what's hiding there."
The threat nearly made the agent faint. "T-There isn't much..." he stammered. "I-I'm willing to do anything! Please, Uchiha-sama! Please give me another chance!"
A wider smirk appeared on Shin's face. "Anything?"
The agent swallowed nervously. "I... I don't want to lose my life..."
Shin immediately snorted. "Haah... your life is worthless to me anyway. Why would I care about that?"
The agent visibly relaxed. As long as he wasn't being asked to do something suicidal, there was still room to negotiate. "Then... what can I do?" he asked quickly. "Please tell me. I'll do anything."
Shin slowly raised a finger and pointed toward Duy standing nearby. "This man came here earlier to buy a house," he said. "I heard you threw him out."
The agent's expression froze instantly. 'Sure enough... It's because of that...' the agent thought, and quickly tried to explain, "You... you may not know him Uchiha-sama... this guy... he is Eternal Genin... he is just a Genin... how could he hope to buy a house...? If he was here for a job or something... I could have still taken pity on him... but... for such a useless guy... to come to this place to want to buy a house that he obviously can't afford..."
Duy frowned.
Shin frowned even harder. Without any warning whatsoever, he suddenly raised his hand and struck the real estate agent square across the face.
Slap!
The sharp sound echoed throughout the office as a bright red handprint appeared on the agent's fat cheek. The man staggered backward in shock. Not only was the agent stunned, but so were the beaten guards, Duy, and everyone else present.
Shin slowly lowered his hand and looked at the man as though he were staring at something filthy. "Did I ask for an explanation, you ugly fat toad?" he asked coldly. "I asked whether you threw him out or not. That's a simple question. All you had to do was answer with a 'yes' or a 'no.' Don't try to play smart in front of me. I've dealt with a hundred bastards like you. I've slapped enough of them that they ended up shitting out half their extra body fat. Do you want to experience that too?"
The agent clutched his burning cheek. His face was red from pain, humiliation, anger, and fear all at once. Under Shin's cold stare, he slowly shook his head. "N-No..."
"Good," Shin nodded. "Then answer my question properly." The office became deathly silent as he asked again, "Did you throw him out?"
The agent's body trembled. He wanted to explain himself, to justify his actions, and to blame Duy's appearance and reputation, but the coldness in Shin's eyes made him swallow every excuse. "Y-Yes..." he admitted quietly.
The moment the confession left his mouth, Shin's expression grew even colder. "You actually threw a member of the Police Force out of your office. That's the sort of thing that can earn you fifteen years in prison."
"F-Fifteen years?!" the agent cried out. At that moment, he wasn't even thinking about whether Shin was telling the truth. Something else had shocked him far more. His eyes slowly drifted toward Duy. "H-He is in the Police Force?"
"That's right," Shin replied casually.
The remaining color immediately drained from the agent's face. He had spent years looking down on Might Duy. He had mocked him, dismissed him, and thrown him out without a second thought. Now he discovered that the man was associated with the very organization he feared most. "P-Please forgive me!" he begged.
"It's alri—"
Slap!
Before Duy could finish speaking, Shin's other hand flashed out and struck the opposite cheek. The agent nearly collapsed.
"Is an apology enough to fix the disrespect?" Shin asked calmly.
The middle-aged man felt tears forming in his eyes. Never in his life had he been treated like this. His entire body trembled as he slowly shook his head. "N-No..."
"Good. At least you're not completely stupid." A smirk appeared on Shin's face. "Since you understand that, tell me this... how exactly are you going to compensate?"
The agent's mind raced frantically. For perhaps the first time in his life, his brain operated at maximum speed. Prison. Inspections. Tax fraud. The Police Force. Duy. Suddenly, the answer appeared.
"B-By helping him buy the house he wants!" he blurted out. "I'll personally help him buy the house he wants!"
A satisfied smile appeared on Shin's face. "Now that's a good answer." He nodded approvingly before gesturing toward Duy. "Then stop wasting my time and help him get the house he wants."
"Yes... yes..." The agent nodded frantically and hurried to his feet. He quickly brought out stacks of brochures containing property descriptions, floor plans, sketches, and pricing information. As he sorted through them, his eyes repeatedly drifted toward the section containing the cheapest properties available. After hesitating for a long while, he finally asked cautiously, "W-What is your budget?"
"My bud—"
Slap!
Before Duy could finish speaking, another slap echoed throughout the office. The agent nearly dropped the brochures as he stumbled backward in shock. 'What now?' he wanted to roar, but didn't dare do so.
"Budget?" Shin asked coldly. "Is this your idea of sincerity? You're trying to compensate here, yet you're still planning to make him pay for the house himself?" He looked at the man as though he were an idiot. "Why? Is the property your father's? Or your grandfather's?"
The agent trembled. He wanted to explain that he had bought the land from the Hokage and paid for the construction himself, but after being slapped twice already, he no longer dared to argue.
Shin snorted. "The land belongs to the Uchiha. It was our clan that gave up its territory for the establishment of the village. Without us, there wouldn't even be a village for you people to build houses in." He waved his hand dismissively. "Frankly, you should be grateful we aren't charging rent for every inch of land you're standing on. And now you want my subordinate to pay money for a house built on land that originally belonged to the Uchiha?"
"N-No... no..." the agent replied immediately. At this point, agreeing with Shin seemed far safer than disagreeing.
"Good." Shin nodded. "Then stop wasting time and show us the best houses you have."
The agent hurriedly obeyed. Putting away the cheaper brochures, he pulled out another collection containing the most luxurious and expensive properties available. Shin immediately handed them to Duy. "There you go. Pick whichever one you like."
Although Duy hesitated at first, he eventually began flipping through the pages while Shin commented from the side whenever he saw something he liked or disliked.
After going through several brochures, they eventually stopped at a particular mansion. The property was spacious, located in a good district, and most importantly, it had its own dedicated training ground. For someone like Duy, that was a major advantage. The more they looked at it, the more satisfied they became.
Unfortunately, the real estate agent's expression immediately changed. "A-Ano..." he said nervously. "T-That mansion..."
Shin's eyes narrowed. "What about it?"
The agent lowered his head and hesitated for several moments before finally forcing the words out. "T-That mansion has already been booked. It was reserved by Elder Utatane... for one of her sons."
Duy sighed. "Ahh... that's a pity..." In his mind, the matter was already settled. Since the mansion had already been reserved by someone else, there was no point arguing over it. They would simply have to continue searching for another property.
Shin, however, didn't seem to share that opinion. "Then tell the old lady to choose another house," he said dismissively. "This one is already occupied."
The real estate agent's face immediately turned pale. "A-Ah... but she is..." He wanted to explain that the mansion had been reserved by one of Konoha's Elders and that cancelling the reservation would create enormous problems.
Unfortunately, he never got the chance to finish.
Slap!
Another slap echoed through the office.
"Did I ask for your opinion?" Shin asked coldly.
The agent's eyes immediately watered. His cheeks were swollen, his face was burning, and whatever dignity he still possessed had long since been beaten into the ground. Under Shin's gaze, he could only shake his head weakly. "N-No..."
"Good." Shin nodded in satisfaction. "Then do as you're told." A cruel smile appeared on his face as he added, "And while you're at it, tell that old slut that if she has any complaints, she's welcome to come directly to the Police Station. We'll be more than happy to negotiate the matter and reach a satisfactory agreement."
Those words sent a chill down the agent's spine. At the same time, however, he felt relieved. If Elder Utatane became angry, her anger would be directed at the Police Force rather than him.
Although his heart bled at the thought of losing such an expensive property, he ultimately gritted his teeth and accepted his fate. A financial loss was painful, but prison was worse. And judging by Shin's mood, resisting any further would probably earn him several more slaps as well.
"H-Here..." he said weakly as he retrieved the key. "Here's the key." His hand trembled so badly that he nearly dropped it.
Shin took the key without ceremony before casually placing a hand on the agent's shoulder. The man immediately flinched, causing Shin to chuckle. "That's much better. From now on, be an honest businessman and make sure you pay your taxes properly. Otherwise, ten years in prison might be considered a light sentence for tax embezzlement. Understand?"
The agent immediately swallowed and nodded. "U-Understood! I'll make sure everything is paid properly!"
"Good." Shin nodded in satisfaction before turning around. "Let's go have a look at this mansion. The location is already excellent, so I doubt the rest of it will be disappointing."
The others quickly followed.
Before leaving, however, Duy glanced back at the miserable real estate agent. There was even a trace of apology in his eyes.
Ironically, the only person showing the man any sympathy was the very person he had mocked, humiliated, and thrown out earlier. The realization struck the agent harder than any slap. If he had simply treated Duy with a little respect, none of this would have happened. Unfortunately, there was no medicine for regret, and now he could only watch them leave with the key while crying bitterly over his losses.
...
Meanwhile, Shin and the other policemen walked through the streets alongside Might Duy toward the mansion they had so generously 'received' from the real estate agent. Although everyone else appeared relaxed, Duy couldn't help feeling uneasy about the entire situation.
After walking silently for a while, he finally voiced his concern. "Was that... really alright?" he asked hesitantly. "That mansion was already reserved by Elder Utatane. Couldn't this create trouble later?"
Shin simply shrugged as if the matter was completely insignificant. "Don't worry about it. As long as Kanzou-sama is backing us, there isn't anyone in Konoha we need to be afraid of." A dismissive snort escaped him before he added, "Let alone that old slut whose greatest achievement in life was popping out countless kids."
In Shin's opinion, the worst thing that could possibly happen was getting beaten up. And even if that happened, so what? They could simply run back to Kanzou and complain. The Patriarch would undoubtedly beat up whoever had beaten them. Whether it was some elder, a clan head, or even that shit-faced Sarutobi Hiruzen himself, Shin genuinely wasn't worried. Compared to Kanzou, the rest of Konoha seemed a lot less intimidating these days.
Duy was left speechless. He opened his mouth several times, only to close it again. In the end, he simply didn't know what to say. The confidence these people had in Kanzou bordered on blind faith.
The two policemen accompanying them, however, found the entire situation amusing. One of them suddenly grinned and said, "By the way, Deputy Captain, those slaps earlier were beautiful. Absolutely crispy. You've really mastered the art of slapping people's faces."
"Hahaha!" Shin burst into laughter. "Of course I have. Who do you think taught me the art of face-slapping in the first place?"
The two policemen immediately exchanged knowing looks. "Patriarch Kanzou, right?"
"Hahahaha!" Shin laughed even harder, neither confirming nor denying the accusation, which was confirmation enough.
The three policemen continued laughing among themselves while Duy walked beside them, wondering whether he should be impressed, concerned, or both.
...
At a certain izakaya in a small town somewhere within the Land of Fire—
A lone woman sat quietly at one of the tables, leisurely drinking her sake. Her long maroon hair flowed down her back, and her mature beauty stood out so much that it was difficult not to notice her. In a place like an izakaya, where people gathered to drink away their worries after a long day, a beautiful woman sitting alone naturally attracted attention. That became even more true now that the sun had already begun to set and the moon was slowly rising into the evening sky.
As expected, many eyes drifted in her direction.
Some of the patrons merely admired her from afar while nursing their drinks. They found her beautiful, but her appearance carried a certain elegance and distance that discouraged them from approaching. Others glanced at her only occasionally before returning to their conversations. After all, they had wives, lovers, or other concerns waiting for them elsewhere and weren't particularly interested in bothering a stranger.
Of course, not everyone possessed that level of self-restraint.
A handful of men, already half-drunk or completely drunk, found their courage increasing with every cup of sake they consumed. Looking at the beautiful woman sitting alone, they quickly convinced themselves that she was waiting for company, needed assistance, or would somehow appreciate being approached by random strangers.
In reality, they were simply looking for an excuse.
After all, there was never a shortage of idiots who couldn't mind their own business.
And unfortunately for the woman, several of those idiots happened to be sitting inside the izakaya tonight.
Before long, a small group of four men with dark skin, blonde hair, and muscular bodies, belonging to the local yakuza family, finally gathered enough liquid courage to rise from their seats and approach her.
Without waiting for an invitation, they crowded around her table. One sat directly across from her while the others pulled up chairs from nearby tables and settled themselves at her sides. Another casually rested an arm across the back of her chair as though they were already acquainted.
Their faces were flushed from alcohol, and their eyes wandered shamelessly over her body. They could tell, even though she was wearing a dark blue Kimono that showed very little skin, she was rather voluptuous and had a ravishing body, which excited them.
The surrounding patrons noticed the scene but quickly looked away. Nobody seemed eager to involve themselves in a dispute with the local yakuza.
"Such a beautiful woman sitting alone in an izakaya..." one of them said with a grin, ogling at her body. "Woman, don't you know it's unsafe here, especially after nightfall?"
Laughter immediately followed from the other three, who clearly found their own behavior far more charming than it actually was.
'Haaa...' The woman let out a quiet sigh. Strangely enough, despite being surrounded by the four dark-skinned, blonde-haired, muscular men, she didn't appear nervous or intimidated in the slightest. Most women would have felt uncomfortable being cornered by a group of drunken strangers, especially with those intimidating, muscular bodies, yet she barely spared them a glance.
Instead, her thoughts were somewhere else entirely.
'How long will it take for you to come, Kanzou-sama?' she thought, her fingers lightly tracing the rim of her sake cup. 'This Natsuhi has been waiting for so long... so long that even these annoying pests have started bothering her...'
Naturally, the woman was Natsuhi. After staying behind at a hot spring inn in the town, she had been patiently waiting for Kanzou to arrive and reward her for her efforts during the mission.
It's just that Kanzou has yet to show, which makes her feel a little sad and lonely.
Unaware of the woman's true thoughts, the men surrounding her interpreted her silence very differently. Looking at her delicate appearance, elegant kimono, and gentle expression, they assumed she had been intimidated into submission. In their minds, she looked exactly like the type of woman who would quietly endure harassment rather than cause trouble.
Nor were they the only ones thinking that way.
Many of the other patrons inside the izakaya had already noticed the situation. Those familiar with the local troublemakers immediately clicked their tongues and shook their heads.
"Another woman is going to be unlucky..."
"Those guys aren't good people."
"Four against one..."
The locals knew exactly who these men were. This wasn't the first woman they targeted. If things continued, the woman would almost certainly be dragged into trouble. What happened afterward is not hard to guess.
It was a pity.
A beautiful woman meeting such a fate always was.
Unfortunately, since it wasn't their problem, most people simply continued drinking and pretended not to notice what was happening to avoid trouble with the Yakuza.
Of course, among the patrons was one particular man who couldn't quite ignore the situation.
Seated alone with a sake cup in hand, he watched the scene unfold and felt his heroic instincts stirring. As a self-proclaimed gallant man, how could he possibly sit back and watch an innocent-looking beauty fall victim to harassment?
'I suppose... it's finally time for me, Jiraiya the Gallant Toad Sage, to make my entrance.'
Finishing the last of his sake, he confidently placed the cup down on the table. 'If I save her, she might even fall in love with me,' he thought.
His lips curled upward. 'Well, of course she would. What woman wouldn't have her heart race after witnessing my handsome and heroic figure? Huhuhu... perhaps I can even gather some research material while I'm at it...'
The grin on his face gradually became more and more suspicious. Without question, only a perverted creep could have such a suspicious, disgusting grin on his face.
Naturally, the self-proclaimed gallant hero with a disgusting grin is none other than Jiraiya of the Sannin.
Currently, however, he was disguised through the Transformation Jutsu. As a result, despite being one of the most famous shinobi in the world, nobody inside the izakaya recognized him. To everyone present, he was merely another random traveler enjoying a drink.
'Hmm... this plot isn't bad at all,' Jiraiya thought excitedly. 'A nameless hero saves a maiden from harassment, steals her heart, spends the night comforting her with the warmth of his body, and then mysteriously disappears into the rising sun for the world-saving quest while the loyal woman awaits his return, trying not to let her tears take her over... huhuhuhu... now that's a romantic subplot. The experience could also serve as the motivation for the hero.'
The more he thought about it, the more excited he became. Ideas for future novels flooded into his mind, and before long, he had already decided to personally act out the scene.
Unfortunately for Jiraiya, reality moved faster than his imagination.
Just as he was about to launch Operation: Hero Saves the Beauty to win her heart, a series of loud slaps echoed throughout the izakaya.
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
The sounds instantly shattered his fantasy.
Jiraiya blinked and turned his head toward the commotion.
What he saw left him frozen.
A tall, handsome man who could make almost any woman's head turn had somehow appeared beside Natsuhi while Jiraiya was busy daydreaming. He had long, spiky black hair styled into a mullet, sharp facial features, and a long black cloak that concealed most of his clothing. One arm was wrapped possessively around the maroon-haired woman's slender waist, pulling her firmly against his side, while his other hand moved with frightening efficiency. One after another, the four dark-skinned, blonde-haired men were slapped across the face.
By the time Jiraiya or anyone properly looked over, all four of them were staggering backward with swollen cheeks and bewildered expressions.
'This... this hasn't happened before!'
None of them seemed capable of understanding what had just happened. One moment, they had been preparing to harass a lone woman, and the next, they had been slapped so hard that their heads were still ringing.
This was not how the script usually went. Normally, they'd intimidate the woman into drinking too much sake and then take to the local inn to 'help' her sleep.
At times, they'd also 'help' out couples with their drinks and then 'accompany' them as they went to sleep. But this time things completely went off script leading to them getting confused for a moment.
The Yakuza might not have understood what happened, but Jiraiya certainly did.
'The Hero Saves the Beauty Operation...' His expression froze. 'It... it ended before it even began!'
No... worse!
Somebody else performed it first!
The realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. Jiraiya immediately clicked his tongue in frustration. If only he had spent less time imagining romantic scenarios and more time actually acting, he would have been the one standing there right now. As his gaze shifted toward Natsuhi, his heartbreak only deepened. She wasn't looking at the mysterious man with gratitude, admiration, or surprise. Instead, her eyes were filled with affection, desire, adoration, and infatuation so obvious that even a blind man could see it.
The sight made Jiraiya feel a little green with envy.
It should have been me!
He cried bitterly in his heart. Unfortunately, he also knew there was no point in dwelling on it now. When it came to the handsome hero saving the beauty, only the first hero won the beauty's heart. Any hero who arrived afterward was merely an extra. The opportunity had already been stolen. Even if he stepped in now, it wouldn't change anything. Worse, his disguise would be exposed for no reason.
'Sigh... it really is a pity... but it can't be helped...' Jiraiya lamented inwardly. Such is the life of a gallant hero like him. Sometimes glory and beautiful women are snatched away by some random lucky bastards. 'No matter, this gallant hero's heart already belongs to someone... it doesn't need to be tempted by... by... by...' His face suddenly twitched. 'Dammit! Why did I waste time thinking instead of acting?!'
The more he thought about it, the more depressed he became. If he had moved just a little faster, perhaps that beautiful woman would have been looking at him with those eyes.
Unfortunately for Jiraiya, the entire premise was flawed from the very beginning. Natsuhi had never needed rescuing, and even if he had intervened first, her heart would never have belonged to him. That heart had already belonged to someone else for years, and that someone was none other than the man currently holding her waist.
Meanwhile, as Jiraiya silently mourned the death of his imaginary romance, the four Yakuza finally recovered from their shock. Clutching their swollen faces, they glared hatefully at the handsome stranger who had humiliated them in front of the entire izakaya.
"We won't forget this, bastard!"
"Just you wait!"
"We'll tell Aniki about this!"
"Let's see how tough you act after he teaches you a lesson!"
Their threats echoed throughout the establishment, yet the handsome man, who was naturally none other than Uchiha Kanzou, didn't appear concerned in the slightest. His arm remained around Natsuhi's waist, and his expression suggested that the four men weren't even important enough to occupy a fraction of his attention.
"Oh?" Kanzou raised an eyebrow as he activated his Sharingan, locking his scarlet eyes onto the yakuza men who had been foolish enough to entertain thoughts of laying a hand on his woman. "Do pieces of trash like you really want to cause trouble?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
The four yakuza men immediately flinched. The confidence and bravado they had displayed moments earlier vanished without a trace. It felt as though a mountain had suddenly been dropped on their shoulders, making it difficult even to breathe. Their faces turned pale, cold sweat broke out across their foreheads, and they hurriedly lowered their heads.
"N-no...!" one of them stammered. "S-sorry...!"
The others nodded frantically in agreement. Whatever thoughts they had about Natsuhi had already disappeared from their minds. At this moment, they only wanted to get as far away from these two as possible. The pressure coming from Kanzou was simply too terrifying.
Kanzou snorted in disdain. "Get lost," he ordered.
"Y-yess!" Almost immediately, the yakuza men clutched their swollen cheeks and bruised faces as they staggered out of the izakaya.
Natsuhi ignored them entirely. Pressing herself closer to Kanzou, she gently rubbed her cheek against his cloak. "Kanzou-sama... you're finally here..."
"What were you doing sitting here drinking sake?" Kanzou asked as he looked down at her.
Natsuhi raised her eyes toward him. Because of the alcohol, they carried a faintly intoxicated look. "I was thirsty," she replied. "So thirsty that I tried to satisfy that thirst with sake temporarily."
A small pout appeared on her face.
"But then those annoying men started harassing me. Fortunately, my favourite hero arrived in time to save me. Otherwise..." She paused dramatically. "A weak woman like me doesn't even know what terrible things might have happened."
"Fufu..." Kanzou chuckled.
A weak woman?
Natsuhi?
What a load of nonsense.
Still, he had no intention of ruining her game. Instead, he gently rubbed her back and played along. "Since this hero saved the weak woman, shouldn't the weak woman show some gratitude to her hero?"
"The weak woman will naturally express her gratitude," Natsuhi replied immediately.
A smile appeared on her face as she intertwined her fingers with his. "Let's go, Kanzou-sama. This weak woman desperately needs to thank her saviour while also satiating her thirst."
After leaving enough money to cover the sake she had consumed, Natsuhi happily left the izakaya alongside Kanzou.
Naturally, their departure attracted plenty of attention.
The customers who had overheard the latter half of their conversation couldn't help blushing slightly. They weren't idiots. Everyone understood exactly what sort of 'gratitude' Natsuhi intended to offer her hero. Looking at the pair leaving together, many of the men suddenly found themselves wondering why they hadn't stepped forward to help earlier.
"Don't go crying over it. It was obvious that the woman already knew him. That's probably why she wants to 'thank' him."
"Eh? Is that so?"
"Of course it is. Didn't you see how familiar they were with each other? That wasn't some stranger saving a woman. They clearly know each other. They might even be lovers or something."
"Then... that's really a pity..."
After reaching that conclusion, the men could only sigh helplessly. If the tall, handsome man was already the beautiful woman's lover, then there had never been any opportunity for anyone else in the first place.
Another person sighing heavily was Jiraiya.
'So they were acquaintances...' Once he accepted that fact, it became difficult to complain. If the woman and her savior already knew each other, then his fantasy about playing the gallant hero had been doomed from the start. It wasn't as though he could blame anyone for arriving before him. Still, for some reason, something continued to bother him. As Jiraiya replayed the scene in his mind while drinking more sake, he recalled the woman's expression, the man's appearance, and most importantly, the name she had used.
"Wait..." he muttered while frowning. "That name she called him... 'Kanzou-sama'..."
As one of Konoha's top shinobi and a direct disciple of Sarutobi Hiruzen, how could he possibly fail to recognize that name? How could he fail to recognize that face? Jiraiya's eyes widened slightly as realization suddenly struck him.
That wasn't some random traveler... That was Kanzou... Uchiha Kanzou! The current Patriarch of the Uchiha Clan!
Jiraiya's eyes widened as the realization fully settled in his mind. His initial disappointment about losing the chance to play the hero was immediately replaced by curiosity. 'Damn... is Uchiha Kanzou secretly cheating around out here with some woman?' he wondered. However, after a moment of thought, he quickly found a flaw in that line of reasoning. 'Wait... Kanzou isn't even married. Can that really be called cheating?'
It couldn't really be called cheating. After all, Uchiha Kanzou wasn't married. No matter how much Jiraiya wanted to criticize him, even he had to admit that point.
Still... Jiraiya couldn't help but wonder how Kanzou had managed to win the heart of such a beautiful woman.
From the way she looked at him, it was obvious that her feelings weren't shallow. That wasn't admiration. That wasn't gratitude. That wasn't some fleeting attraction. The look in her eyes clearly belonged to a woman who had completely fallen for a man.
And somehow, that man happened to be Uchiha Kanzou.
Jiraiya felt increasingly depressed the more he thought about it.
'Even though Uchiha Kanzou isn't as handsome as me...' he thought narcissistically, 'How did he manage to get such a beautiful woman to like him?'
The image of the beautiful woman looking at Kanzou with affection and adoration once again surfaced in his mind.
Compared to that, the one woman he likes and has confessed to so many times has always punched him, rejected him, ignored him, or chased him away with murderous intent.
The comparison was painful.
'Sigh... why...?' Jiraiya felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
As the self-proclaimed Gallant Toad Sage sat alone, drinking sake, he suddenly felt that the cold night wind had become even colder, and he needed some warmth.
'Life really isn't fair...' he lamented inwardly. 'A beautiful woman like that actually likes Uchiha Kanzou... while this handsome, talented, intelligent, and heroic sage remains single...'
The more he thought about it, the more aggrieved he felt and decided to get some women's help to warm his body... and perhaps also his heart.
.
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Lemon coming next, drop Powaaahh Shtoness!!!
Of course, you may also read ahead of public release on P atreon at: p-atreon.com/Knockturn_Alley
Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv: unhinged_uchiha
If you like this story, then you might also like my other story: One Piece: The Incubus' Adventure. Give it a try.