While Konrad couldn't smell the smoke or blood, the sight was actually spot on.
The barracks' interior looked like the aftermath of a lost battle.
And a brutal one at that.
As if those few who weren't decimated had fallen to their knees to beg for their lives. Or, well, that's what Stella was doing, even before he had the chance to say anything.
"I'm so sorry, Duke Halstadt, I thought you were—"
Her voice trailed off, her gaze landing on his twin.
And yeah, that expression told him more than a thousand words.
Was that bastard actually drunk?
And why was he wearing Konrad's clothes?!
"Hey," Nimrod tried to take advantage of the mess. "I don't appreciate your usual tone, either."
He ignored him, but Stella's eyes flashed with something he'd rather not name. That was all it took to silence that obnoxious shaman, and he sure wouldn't reprimand her for such things.
In fact, was there a reward he could hand out right now?
He shook his head.
The chaos was already too much, and he'd only returned.
Welf also looked like he was about to fall onto his knees, so he had to defuse the situation first.
"Okay, no need for the drama," Konrad said, both hands raised. "Even if I don't know how you could mix me up with this, ugh, I'm actually back now. And would love some explanations."
"A report? Right, My Lord," Stella yelled, scrambling to her feet. "The enemy has been—"
"Not about them," he cut her off right away. "I have eyes. I can tell they haven't invaded us yet. But what's that thing outside? And I heard the word Deathwatch?! Do you have a deathwish?!"
The mood shifted fast.
Too fast.
The huge, redheaded blacksmith was now covering his face to hide his laughter.
Why even bother when he made it so obvious?
"Welf," Konrad barked, and the tribesman went rigid. "You know what it's about, too?"
"Aye," his friend yelled, standing at attention. "A bunch of dead squirrels up the mountains."
The seriousness didn't last with him spiffing and laughing into his palms.
"If that's some inside joke, I don't get it," Konrad noted, getting a bit annoyed.
"N-no, that's no joke, My Lord," Stella mumbled, face flushed. "It's, um—without Lady Maple's wyverns, we needed something else to keep an eye on the entire mountain range."
That gave him a pause.
"Squirrels?" Konrad repeated, his brows furrowed.
The blacksmith didn't even pretend to be serious anymore. Helena kicked him in the shin, but that didn't work, either. Eyna had to jump in with the details before things got out of hand.
Like, any more than they already have.
"They're undead critters, Master," she whispered. Yet, her voice was still loud and clear. "You must be aware of Lady Stella's abilities. We were desperate and short-handed without you."
Right. But to replace wyverns with squirrels?!
"Whose stupid idea was the name?" Konrad grunted, his eyes landing on Welf immediately.
The redhead was still fighting his laugh, losing hard.
"How'd you know?" he asked, struck between pretending to be angry and offended, and shaking from his great mood. "We needed something to scare the curious tribesmen away from 'em."
"And signal the Church that we hide a necromancer," Konrad let out a long sigh.
Well, he could understand the logic. But they were playing a dangerous game.
"What about that huge ass statue outside?" he asked next, already rubbing his temples.
"That wee little thing?" Nimrod scoffed, puffing his chest. "I summoned it by myself, killing thousands of nomadic bastards with it. And guess what? They didn't dare attack us ever since."
"Killed?" Konrad repeated, his expression chilly.
"There must've been a few dozen dead, but we managed to capture most of them alive, Master."
And again, Eyna to the rescue.
"Most of Kasserlane thinks it was your magic, Duke Halstadt," Stella added. "And with the Demon Lord's staff, I could keep it alive despite the invader's firepower."
"Right, what about that, then?" Konrad demanded.
And where did that staff go again? She was holding it a moment ago. And it was such a spectacular thing. She couldn't exactly hide it underneath her grey robes.
Why was she still wearing them, anyway?
"I, um," Stella stuttered, staring at the floor even after she straightened her back.
Not very helpful.
But someone else was. Two people, actually, he least expected to show up.
"Lucifer's little toy," Gabrielle announced, entering the barracks on cue. "It's a necromancer's staff, but I don't have to tell you that. You fought it yourself, and I have destroyed it."
"No, you didn't," Konrad argued before he had the time to act surprised. "She still has it."
Lily skipped in behind the angel, paying no mind to their illustrious gathering.
Her only and obvious goal was to grab his arm.
And listening to the reports or not, Konrad almost melted from her familiar warmth.
The spirits knew he missed her since he finally remembered again. But even as he wrapped his arms around the tiny ginger, the barracks would not disappear around them.
"What do you mean she still has it?!" the angel demanded, her gaze shifting to the blonde girl.
Stella stiffened with a gulp, taking a shaky step back.
"I-I don't know, Lady Gabrielle," she mumbled again. "I saw you destroy it, too, and yet—"
Rather than trying to explain, she held out a shaky hand.
And exactly as before, the skull-topped staff had materialized out of thin air.
"Whoa, nice toy," Lily exclaimed, but wouldn't let go. "It seems to be non-stop syphoning all the life forces away in a wide area. But not like, um, draining. It's more, uh—collecting the excess?"
Of course, she'd be able to crack it after a single glance.
That's a greater demon for you.
And he had so many questions for her on his own, but as usual—not here, not now.
Always waiting for the right moment that never came. Sigh.
"Y-yes, Lady Liliana," the former executioner bowed. "During the battle, it almost overcharged."
"And you transferred all that energy into that thing." Konrad connected the dots, pointing his thumb towards the golem outside. "What would've happened if you let it overcharge, though?"
Lily giggled in his arms.
"D'ya remember Lucifer's face from the last time?" she asked.
What Konrad pictured in his mind was a skull-face with patchy hair, before he'd—
"I had it explode into his face on repeat," Gabrielle claimed, walking closer to the staff. But every time she took a step, Stella stumbled backwards, too. "He had gotten away. And this—"
"P-please don't be mad," the Church girl pleaded. "I don't know why, it kinda—appeared."
"You're scaring the necromeowncer," Lily piped up. "Why not let her keep it?"
The angel stopped, glancing back at her—in Konrad's arms—and her eyes flashed with something. Jealousy? She said nothing, only shrugged, no longer chasing after Stella.
Well, he got a few answers at the very least, but this was still pure chaos.
He'd only spent a month away in the bustling metropolis from his old world, but had already forgotten. The gang was back together, or at least one copy of each harem member.
He still had no idea what had happened to Kaede and Yuki-san, but one thing at a time.
"Okay, so what are we going to do next?"