Kev looked between Baphomet and Warlock, confounded. Did they control all sorts of petty crime in the city to the point that they might know who tried to steal Cindy's purse? That was too much. Before he could even begin to describe the red, black, and white squirrel-like man who had pushed him over, a sharp, rapid knocking at the conservatory door made him jump. It sounded like someone was hitting the wood with a tiny hammer, a frantic, staccato rhythm.
"Ahh yes," Baphomet said. "That must be our final guests."
Bruno and Rex eyed each other for a tense moment before Rex, with a low growl, moved to the door and opened it.
The new guests entered. In front was a woodpecker-woman, her black-and-white feathers stark against the sharp, angular lines of her power suit. She had thick, stiff shoulder pads that made her look like a piece of brutalist architecture, and she moved with a quick, jerky energy. Behind her trailed a tired-looking donkey-man, his own suit rumpled, his tie pulled loose at his neck, and a drink already in his hand. And finally, an exasperated-looking chameleon, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, his scales a shifting, mottled pattern of green and brown.
Kev recognized the reptile lawyer right away. It was Bozeman. When they'd first met, he had thought the chameleon was quite... sad. But after hearing about the contracts and waivers in this world, he knew that the man's abilities were not to be questioned. Not only had he kept Fang out of jail for causing a major incident, he had worked with and fought against the city council, and he had apparently invented some really bat-shit-crazy contract terms that allowed the club to exist.
Kev's positive thoughts about Bozeman quickly faded, however, as he watched the chameleon quickly grab the nearest empty captain's chair and loudly drag it across the slate floor. He wedged himself into the small space directly between Kev and Fang.
"Fang, you bastard," Bozeman whispered, while pushing Kev's chair a bit further away to make room. "They want me doing paperwork again! You hear me? Paperwork!"
Fang sighed and looked over. "Boze, you're the best at that sort of thing. Why do you think I haven't fired you yet?"
"PAPERWORK!" Bozeman whisper-yelled, his colors shifting again. "I've been building this case for two years now, and I'm nearly ready, and you fucking rug-pull me!"
"Watch it, Boze," Fang growled. "You had two years to fight it, and all you did was print out papers. I'd say you love paperwork."
"You don't even know what lawyers do!" Bozeman hissed. "Fighting the city isn't something you can do sloppily! I had to make it watertight! No, it's fucking airtight! And those two," his eyes split to look at both the donkey and the woodpecker, "they're swooping in and stealing my chance..."
After a few moments passed, Kev coughed and said, "Chance to... try the case?"
"YES!" Bozeman exploded. "It should be me! I should be up in front of the cameras, not behind some desk!"
"Boze," Dale said roughly, leaning back in his chair. "Shut up."
Dale then stood, a heavy, deliberate movement. "I got your spot right over here." He calmly walked over, grabbed the back of Bozeman's chair, with Bozeman still in it, and with a single, smooth pull that didn't even seem to strain his powerful frame, he dragged the squawking, chair-bound chameleon further down the dining table, placing him neatly in the empty spot beside himself.
Kev could hear Bozeman whimper about "wanting to be a star" as the chameleon was dragged away. When he finally looked back across the table, he noticed that the woodpecker and the donkey had taken their seats. The woodpecker was across from Talon, and the donkey was across from Dale.
Baphomet cleared his throat. "I would like to introduce Nail," he said, with a slight gesture towards the woodpecker, "and Kick," he gave a small gesture towards the donkey. "Our legal representation."
Nail was looking around the room. "It's much cleaner in the club than I thought it would be," she said, her voice a sharp, clipped sound.
Kick, already supporting his head with his arm on the table, said, "Let's just get this over with."
"I have invited them to help formalize our arrangements," Baphomet sighed and shook his head. "Pay them no heed."
"Hey!" Kick said, his voice braying slightly. "You said this was dinner! I haven't eaten yet!"
Nail sighed. "You only eat fast food. You didn't miss out on anything."
Kick grumbled and rested his head on his other arm so he would be looking away from his colleague. "Fast food is addicting, and I want it."
Baphomet sighed loudly. "Maybe someday you will become vegan with me and be free from your cravings."
"Vegan?" Kev nearly laughed. He didn't expect to hear that from a Mafia Don. However, when he looked up at Fang to try and share in the absurdity, Fang was already looking down at him.
"What is 'vegan'?" Fang whispered.
Kev could only shake his head. "Hey Horns, you should go tell Reepia," he said, gently leaning forward to catch the mooseman's eye.
"UGHHHHHHH," Horns groaned. "You're sending me back there again? With THIS?"
"Sorry," Kev grinned. "Someone should let her know."
Horns deflated and stubbed out his joint. "I'll be back..." The mooseman then stood and walked slowly out of the room. Kev could hear Rex laughing lightly as he closed the door after the Chief of Staff.
Baphomet slowly steepled his fingers. "Do you not have a vegan menu?"
"No," Dale said quickly, covering for Fang, "but our chef really is the best. She can make anything."
Kev nodded. He knew Reepia could. She just needed to be able to rage about it before she got the order. He could only imagine her face when she looked at the ticket and saw one of ten items circled with the tag "vegan." Oh, how she would be most unkind to whoever was closest to her. Not because it was difficult, but because it went against her ethos... She did enjoy cooking steaks.
"My son," Baphomet looked disappointed, his gaze resting on Fang, "I know you have the soul of a true crusader, so I will not be angry today. But... find time to expand your offerings. I would hate to think your establishment is not accommodating to those with... strong convictions."
Fang once again whispered, "What is 'vegan'?"
Kev wanted to laugh, but he could see that Fang really had no clue. How this wolf managed to make such an amazing business was beyond him. But how could he explain it quickly, in a way that Fang would understand...
Kev whispered back, "Super-vegetarian."
Fang nodded quickly and looked back at Baphomet. "We sell many salads, but I will be sure we do more. My Head Chef is very insistent that I... eat vegetables sometimes."
Kev had to cough into his arm to hide a laugh.
The mention of Fang's diet including some fiber seemed to please the goat. "And how about you, Mr. Kev? Do you have any dietary restrictions?"
Kev had a very hard time not short-circuiting. It was such a mundane thing to be talking about with the dangerous leader of the Mafia. "No," Kev said. "Well, I guess I hate mayo, but that's not really a restriction, haha..."
"He eats many salads," Fang declared. "He says he has a varied diet."
Baphomet nodded. "I have heard you are a human. A... unique species... Do tell me, were your ancestors hunters or gatherers?"
"They were both."
"How fascinating," Baphomet said.
"Oh, Mr. Kev here is quite the specimen," Warlock said, leaning towards his boss on his armrest. "Did you know I just found out today that humans are an aquatic mammal? I just told you that I felt like he and I had some connection last night when I returned from dinner."
"Really?" Fang asked, looking over at his human.
K "All I can say is I like swimming."
"It does make sense," Baphomet said, his eyes still assessing the odd mammal. "Less drag in the water."
"Streamlined," Talon murmured.
"It does make sense now that you say it," Dale nodded. "Like a hippo or a dolphin, hell, even a manatee. I didn't even think of that before."
"More like a pig," Nail said, analyzing the human with a cool, detached gaze.
"He looks more like a monkey than that," Kick said.
Fang snorted and smiled down at Kev. "More like some sort of monkey-pig hybrid."
Kev was not very upset that Horns knocked on the door and entered with Rebecca. The feline waitress moved with a quiet, professional grace, her usual warm smile present but tempered by a subtle, almost reverent seriousness appropriate for the occasion. Her black uniform was immaculate, not a single stray cat hair to be seen.
Horns took his seat between Fang and Dale, and the group ordered drinks and their meals.
Kev watched Rebecca and wondered if Horns had told her anything about the night's meeting. She probably knew it was important, but to what extent, Kev did not know. She seemed unphased, however, quickly scratching down Nail's rapid-fire "shrimp salad, no onions, dressing on the side," Warlock's suggestive "sous-vide salmon, make it extra moist," Baphomet's "vegan shepherd's pie," Sterling's "braised chuck," and Kick's "double bacon burger with extra fries."
After getting the other orders and the drink list, she nodded and said she would be back in a few. She gave a little bow. Kev watched as she stopped at Rex and Bruno on her way out, asking if they would like anything. He definitely needed to remind Fang to leave her a tip tonight.