Chapter 76: Zenobia
Faced with this group of scheming "club members," Jeanne Alter truly has nothing left to say.
Among them, from the referee to the participants, aside from Barghest, probably none of them intend to follow the rules fairly.
But then again, love isn't something that can be governed by competition rules anyway.
"Next is a very important issue,"
Jeanne White says seriously.
"If we... ehem, if you girls truly intend to wage a war over this, then we need to establish an official club — becoming a completely neutral place for everyone to exchange intelligence, set rules, and hold negotiations."
All the girls present nod in agreement, supporting the proposal.
"Besides, a Holy Grail War usually takes place in secret, and club activities will be a convenient cover for our actions. So, to establish a club, we need the approval of at least three teachers."
"..."
Jeanne Alter gives a sarcastic glance.
So, these girls plan to report this shameful squabble to the teachers? She'd rather die than face that humiliation.
Jeanne White smiles and pulls out two authorization papers already stamped.
"I've already obtained permission from Scathach-sensei and Murasaki-sensei, but in return, they have the right to eavesdrop on our club activities, especially the intelligence exchange part."
Jeanne Alter stiffens.
There really are teachers who approved this? And what will they even do after joining?
So if these crazy women can find just one more teacher, the club will officially be established?
'This is getting troublesome…'
Jeanne Alter frowned deeply.
If these lunatics were just a scattered bunch, it would still be manageable. But if they actually got an official place to gather — it would be no different from raising a hive of worker bees.
A club full of love-crazed women + Eikou, who already has the ability to cause trouble with women — just thinking about the future was terrifying enough.
She had to find a way to stop it, crush this illegitimate organization right from the egg!
"I suggest you girls give up now while you can,"
Jeanne Alter pretended to be annoyed, placing her slender legs arrogantly on the table,
"Forming a club is a real hassle, there's paperwork, and it'll be supervised by teachers and the student council. Are you even sure you can get a third teacher's approval?"
She had already heard: besides the two teacher signatures, they also needed the signature of a teacher who would supervise the club!
That teacher was none other than Queen Zenobia of the Palmyrene Empire.
Though she rarely met her, Jeanne Alter knew Queen Zenobia was famous for being upright, serious, conservative in matters of love, and extremely proper…
Judging by personality alone, Queen Zenobia would never accept an absurd club application like this!
Not to mention that after that, it still had to pass the strict review of the Disciplinary Committee led by Minamoto no Raikou.
"In other words… from the very start, your club application doesn't stand a chance of being approved!"
Jeanne Alter sharply pointed out the truth.
"..."
The girls' faces flushed red as the atmosphere fell silent.
Indeed, this wasn't something that could ever be brought up formally; the Chaldea Academy administration would never allow them to recklessly cause chaos like this.
Even if they tried to establish the club under another name, once the Disciplinary Committee started investigating, their cover would eventually be blown — and things would only get messier.
"In short, let's just try our luck… If we don't go directly talk with Zenobia-sensei, then we really have no other options."
Barghest spoke up:
"If possible, I still want to do things properly — to officially establish the club and then start competing. Hiding or sneaking around isn't my style."
A true and righteous knight indeed, Jeanne Alter thought to herself.
Too bad the person in charge of club approvals was the strict and unyielding Zenobia, not Merlin, that clown who only enjoyed watching drama. As long as anyone had a normal brain, there's no way they'd approve something as ridiculous as a 'competition to fight over a man'!
——
Twenty minutes later, inside the faculty office.
"You girls have gone too far!"
Queen Zenobia sat in her swivel chair, her delicate brows furrowed tightly, her gaze filled with displeasure as she stared down at the club application form.
An Eastern face, a regal and dignified aura, sun-kissed bronze skin gleaming with allure, and a stunningly voluptuous figure (Curse Chef: especially that SUPER ASS — I remember when she was first released on the NA server, I spent 200SQ to bring her home.) — this was the Queen of the Palmyrene Empire, and also the teacher in charge of overseeing club activities.
"You're telling me… you want to hold a competition… over a male student? And you even want to form a club for this?"
Zenobia swept her sharp gaze across the group standing before her.
"I know all of you are famous Servants, renowned heroes of legend. But as students of Chaldea Academy, your first and foremost duty is to study! And because you're Servants, you should be setting an example for others!
"Especially since you're girls, you should understand what it means to behave with modesty and dignity. Fighting over a man so loudly and shamelessly — what kind of disgrace is that? Withdraw this application immediately!"
As expected, this absurd club application was rejected outright by Queen Zenobia.
Looking at her stern and righteous expression, Jeanne Alter couldn't help but give a mental thumbs-up.
Perfect! That's the reaction of a normal person!
The only problem was… Queen Zenobia's outfit was way too revealing. She was wearing something that basically looked like a bikini, covered in gold and silver accessories, with iron chains wrapped around her body. Hearing words like "modesty" and "dignity" coming out of that mouth… somehow felt very unconvincing.
"Eh, why?"
Jeanne White tilted her head in confusion:
"Gilles can use my name to establish Jeanne Club, so why can't we set up a club dedicated to a specific person? Isn't that unfair?"
"Don't bring that up again,"
Queen Zenobia immediately retorted,
"When Jeanne Club was established, I hadn't been summoned from the Throne of Heroes yet. If I had been here at that time, I would never have allowed that kind of personal worship to exist! Later on, Jeanne Club and that 'Idiot Face Team' next to it even fought like crazy just because they had the same face, so I have even less reason to approve another hysterical club like this."
(Note: I don't know what that 'Idiot Face Team' is either, maybe it's the Artoria club?)
A reasonable and convincing argument, leaving no room for refutation.
"I see…"
Jeanne White let out a helpless sigh.
"Wait a second."
Queen Zenobia glanced down at the signature section on the application form, and her stunning face suddenly stiffened.
"Scathach, Murasaki Shikibu… so there were actually other teachers who agreed to your troublesome request, what on earth is going on?"
"They just agreed on their own..." Jeanne White explained.
"I see… simply rejecting your application might be too lenient," the deep blue eyes swept through the list on the club application — from personnel to authorization signatures —
"Bring everyone involved here to face me, call their guardians to explain this situation; as for the teachers who agreed, I will file formal complaints against them one by one. If necessary, I'll request the school to review their qualifications and publicly reprimand them for improper behavior. Since they signed off on your application, they must take responsibility."
"???"
Jeanne Alter's face instantly turned pale.
She thought: There's no need to blow this up so much, don't go airing something this embarrassing in public!
"It's not over yet, the centerpiece of this drama is Mochizuki Eikou — he's practically the enemy of women, I can't overlook this."
"???"
Crap, even he's about to get exposed!
"My temporary conclusion is that all of you have been bewitched by that boy Eikou's flowery words. As the person in charge of discipline and order at Chaldea, I must thoroughly investigate his situation..."
"I'll go arrest Mochizuki Eikou from class Britain and bring him in for questioning!"
Queen Zenobia declared with fierce authority.