"Look where staying 'safe' got us."
Clarissa flinches at that and instantly, Amias regrets it.
He reaches for her hand. "Mother… that wasn't fair. I'm sorry."
She shakes her head weakly. "I know you're hurting. But Heidi's trouble is not yours."
"Yes," he murmurs, "it is."
He can't abandon her. He won't abandon her. Not after everything. Not after her lips had met his, and the bond he's chosen to forsake, and the way she looked at him that night like he wasn't a worthless pursuit.
Clarissa watches him, studying the pain in his face, the tired set of his shoulders. "…You love her."
It isn't a question. Amias looks away. His lips set in a hard line. "I can't," he says. "I'm not allowed to."
"That's not what I asked."
He closes his eyes. Vark whimpers. Finally, he answers, quietly, like admitting a crime: "Yes."
