Lockhart wasn't wrong—Wyzett truly hadn't meant to brush him off.
The start of term had been packed: daily greenhouse chores, watering and fertilizing, and of course, "Cube Theory" awaiting his deep dive and analysis.
Lockhart would occasionally nod at passing students, greeting his adoring fans with a practiced smile. But his real focus was fixed on Wyzett.
"I hear from Professor McGonagall that you're into magical artifacts as well. That's one of my specialties, you know!"
"Remember Travels with Trolls? At the end, when I trapped that rampaging ghoul with a tea strainer? That was no ordinary strainer."
"I'd cast an Undetectable Extension Charm on it! The ghoul was trapped inside. When it tried to tear its way out, its claws nearly got shredded by the mesh!"
"Undetectable Extension Charm?" Wyzett frowned slightly. "Professor Lockhart, didn't you mention in Wanderings with Werewolves..."
"You said you learned the Undetectable Extension Charm at an ancient altar deep in a forest, surrounded by mandrakes."
"But Gadding with Ghouls was published before Wanderings with Werewolves, wasn't it? So you'd already mastered the charm by then?"
"Ah... perhaps I got my stories mixed up?" Lockhart's smile stiffened for a beat. "It was a spell similar to the Undetectable Extension Charm... Yes, that's it!"
"That's how I realized the importance of the extension charm, so I made sure to seek it out later. The real point is, I can make magical artifacts!"
"It's an ancient discipline—its roots are in ritual magic, then it evolved into alchemy, and eventually got streamlined into the art of magical artifact crafting."
"Take magical fireworks and other prank items—those are just branches of artifact crafting. But if you want to make something like the Philosopher's Stone, you have to return to true alchemy."
"Alchemy's core principle is 'equivalent exchange'—and always, always balance. No magical artifact should ever outstrip its maker..."
Much of what Lockhart said could be traced back to real magical theory texts—Wyzett recognized the references. For all his bluster, Lockhart did seem to know his theory, at least on paper.
As Wyzett jotted down notes, the two gradually drew closer to Lockhart's office.
Lockhart was still clutching a large flowerpot, and by now he was panting, sweat beading on his brow and dripping down his nose.
Yet somehow, his golden hair remained immaculate—neither style nor shine the least bit disturbed.
"Huff... Wyzett... d'you know the Scouring Charm?" he wheezed, clearly eager to set the pot down.
Wyzett hurried forward, taking the flowerpot and, with a silent, wandless Levitation Charm, lightened its weight.
"Let me carry this, Professor. Sprout did say mandrakes are dangerous magical plants, after all."
"Er... yes, quite right..." Lockhart nodded, rummaging in his robe pockets for a lilac handkerchief to dab his sweat.
"Actually, I didn't mean anything by it—just wanted to test you a bit. McGonagall told me you've even used that charm to make magical artifacts!"
"One more word of advice, though... Even though we're wizards, we shouldn't rely on magic for everything. We're people too—you have to learn how to live!"
"Don't reach for your wand at the first sign of trouble—washing up, bathing, doing your hair... those are life's little pleasures. You have to learn to enjoy them..."
They arrived at the office door, where a pink-wrapped package lay waiting, topped with a greeting card.
"Enjoy life, Wyzett!" Lockhart beamed, expertly plucking up the card and waving it under Wyzett's nose. "What can I say? I have too many fans!"
The card read:
My dearest Professor Lockhart, I heard you were injured. I hope our gift helps you feel more comfortable—your most devoted fan ♡!
For some reason, the handwriting looked oddly familiar to Wyzett.
Lockhart tore open the package, revealing a fluffy, lilac-colored toilet seat cover.
At the sight of this "gift," Lockhart's face darkened instantly. With surprising force, he hurled it down the corridor—he'd have made an excellent Chaser.
Wyzett kept his face perfectly neutral, his private Potions lessons having trained him well. Not a hint of a smile escaped him.
But seeing such a "unique" fan gift, he instantly knew who the sender was.
"Huff... huff..." Lockhart struggled to compose himself, then finally managed, "That gift just now... never mind... come in..."
Inside, the familiar decor awaited—walls lined with frames of every size, each one holding a moving portrait or painting of the same person: Lockhart himself.
As Wyzett entered, every pair of painted eyes gleamed with identical self-satisfaction.
He carefully set down the flowerpot, using it as a makeshift barrier between himself and Lockhart.
There was something profoundly odd about Lockhart—he seemed more like a theorist than a seasoned adventurer.
In the wizarding world, those with strong magical theory usually possessed matching magical ability.
But in Lockhart, Wyzett sensed nothing of the sort.
So far, the only spells Lockhart had demonstrated were that infamous "Peskipiksi Pesternomi" and, of course, the mysterious Memory Charm.
Lockhart took a sip of water and faced Wyzett, twirling his wand between his fingers like a baton.
Clatter!
With a slip, his wand tumbled to the floor, spitting a few sparks.
"Oh... you cheeky thing!" Lockhart said with a playful tone. "I don't use Memory Charms too often, so it's acting up!"
"Wyzett, are you familiar with wandlore? 'The wand chooses the wizard'... Most never understand that, which is why they can't become someone like me!"
"I've read about it," Wyzett replied, nodding.
The theory wasn't wrong in itself, but Lockhart's application of it was... questionable.
Lockhart cleared his throat with dramatic flair. "Ahem! Let's begin today's lesson in earnest—wandlore—no, Memory Charms!"
He dragged over a small blackboard. "Let's start with the gesture: hold your wand like a conductor's baton, elegant and crisp, rotate your wrist... then draw an 'N' shape..."
…
"Very precise, your technique—no wonder Professor Flitwick praises you so highly... Now for the incantation. Watch my mouth, pay attention to the intonation..."
…
As Wyzett recited the spell, Lockhart's expression froze once more.
"I didn't expect you to pick this up so quickly... haha... truly impressive..."
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