"Here she comes — though as the little sister, I simply must insist the two older sisters eat first."
Miko scurried over to Kiana and Mei's side, suddenly the picture of humility — going so far as to refer to herself as the little sister and deferring to the "older sisters" before her.
She knew she wasn't going to escape this. But first, she needed to see exactly how Kiana and Mei were managing to eat something this pitch-black, this aggressively unidentifiable — something that clearly had no business calling itself food.
"I already taste-tested my own cooking, obviously. You two are the last ones," Kiana replied matter-of-factly to Miko's deflection.
Still, Kiana couldn't help but want to call Miko out on the whole "little sister" act. After all, Miko had never really been willing to call Kiana "big sis" before — and now she was voluntarily demoting herself to little sister? The whiplash was spectacular.
Not that Kiana didn't understand exactly why.
"I'll go first, then."
Acheron looked at Miko with a perfectly blank expression, picked up the chopsticks from the table, pinched something off the plate — something so thoroughly charred that it was impossible to tell if it had once been a chili pepper or a piece of meat — and, still wearing that perfectly blank expression, ate it right in front of Miko's wide, disbelieving eyes.
Mei...
Not even a flicker of a reaction??
Miko stared, jaw practically on the floor, as Acheron chewed calmly. She genuinely hadn't thought Mei was capable of this. This was on another level entirely.
"Did you study up on cooking at some point after that last time? Kiana — this is noticeably better than before." After finishing, Acheron glanced over at Kiana and delivered that verdict in the same cool, measured tone — which managed to astonish Miko all over again.
Better than before???
Just how bad was it before...
Kiana-sis, my dear...
Hearing that, Miko genuinely could not bring herself to imagine what the dish in front of Kiana's hands must have looked like the first time around.
"Not really. After that one time, it's taken me until now to even attempt the stir-fried chili and pork again," Kiana replied, shaking her head.
Originally Kiana had planned to take the gourmet route — cook properly alongside Lumine, make it a whole thing. But since Kaito had no experience in the kitchen, the plan had inevitably collapsed into the territory of cursed cuisine.
Anyhow, don't ask about the before times. The short version is: Kaito and the others had been eating Kiana's dark cooking for quite a while now.
I mean, you two...
Can this actually be called food?
You eat out all the time, don't you?
How can you not tell the difference?!
Miko sat there in silence, watching the two of them chat, swallowing back every single thought fighting to escape her lips.
It was only now that she fully grasped just how high a tolerance for suffering Kiana and Mei had apparently developed when it came to food.
Was Kaito the same way?
Or... was it that when Wendy had complained about Kiana's cooking being terrible, Kaito had put her up to it?
Because he genuinely couldn't take another bite?
Honestly, the more Miko thought about it, the more plausible it seemed.
She was absolutely going to ask Kaito about this when he got back.
But before that — she had to face the cursed dish herself.
Ugh...
If only she hadn't come back at all...
She should've just stayed in Liyue with Kaito...
Miko tore her gaze away from the two chatting girls and fixed it on the pitch-black dish sitting on the table. She was genuinely struggling to hold it together.
"Miko, you should have some too." And at that moment, Miko felt as though she had heard the call of the underworld itself.
So it comes to this after all...
Steeling herself inwardly, Miko smiled brightly and said: "My, it seems Kiana-sis's stir-fry is quite something — I'd love to give it a try."
She was fully aware she was lying through her teeth. But standing before Acheron and Kiana, she supposed she wasn't entirely lying.
She picked up the other pair of chopsticks.
And yet — staring at the pitch-black mass of so-called stir-fried chili and pork, which seemed to radiate some kind of malevolent supernatural energy, Miko found herself utterly unable to bring the chopsticks down.
She couldn't help it. There was simply no way to connect this thing with the concept of food.
"What's wrong, Miko?" Kiana noticed she still hadn't moved and tilted her head, looking mildly puzzled.
Because it looks completely inedible, that's what's wrong!!
Miko screamed the answer in her head with full conviction.
But of course she could only scream it internally. She couldn't actually say it out loud.
If Acheron shared her opinion, Miko might've been able to gently hint something to Kiana. But Acheron clearly saw absolutely nothing wrong with this chili pork, which meant Miko had no choice but to steel her nerves and charge ahead.
"I'm admiring it, Kiana-sis."
She knew this was another barefaced lie — but given what Acheron had just pulled off without blinking, Miko figured she was entitled to at least this much.
"Well, finish admiring it and eat up — it'll taste worse cold." Kiana smiled and nodded, apparently finding nothing suspicious about Miko's words whatsoever.
Of course — that was only how it looked on the surface.
"Mm-hm."
Miko smiled and nodded in return.
Fine...
Better to get it over with quickly!
With that resolution firmly in mind, Miko pinched up a blackened chunk of indeterminate origin and, with the determination of someone walking into battle, placed it in her mouth.
Truthfully, even when eating that other thing back then, she hadn't hesitated this much.
Oh no...
Am I literally eating charcoal right now...
The moment it touched her tongue, Miko went completely numb. It felt less like eating food and more like chewing on a lump of coal.
And to make things worse, the thing had a bitter taste — grinding itself mercilessly across every single one of her taste buds.
But Acheron had just finished it without so much as a twitch. So Miko could do this too.
And so — suppressing every instinct screaming at her to stop — Miko swallowed the piece of dark cuisine with a perfectly composed expression.
Haah...
This is brutal...
Wendy, where are you today of all days...
Having finally forced it down, Miko found herself missing Wendy deeply.
If Wendy had been here today, Miko was certain she would never have had to eat something that had no right being called food. Kiana probably wouldn't have even produced this dish in the first place.
But there was nothing to be done. It was already eaten. No point dwelling on it.
Of course — if Kiana tried to make her keep eating, or worse, finish the entire plate of that pitch-black nightmare, then Miko was going to have to start telling the truth.
"So? How was it, Miko?" Kiana asked immediately, eyes bright, the moment she saw Miko swallow.
"Not bad — but you've still got room to improve, Kiana."
Biting down on every sarcastic impulse, Miko gave a little nod and encouraged Kiana to keep working at it.
After all, Acheron had said it was better than before — so there was no need to go overboard with the compliments.
Besides, if she went too overboard, her conscience would start to bother her.
"Mm-hm, I'll keep at it next time."
Kiana looked genuinely pleased.
____
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