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[PODRICK ascends the stairs to TYRION.]
"I'll lead the attack. I'll lead the attack!"
Tyrion choked on air, as did Jaime and Joanna.
"Me?!"
"You?!"
The three Lannisters looked at each other in shock, while Oberyn barked a laugh at their comical looks.
"Pod, my helmet. Ser Mandon, you will bear the king's banner. Men, form up. Men Men! They say I'm half a man. But what does that make the lot of you?"
"The only way out is through the gates. And they're at the gates."
"There's another way out. I'm going to show you. We'll come out behind them and fuck them in their arses."
Jaime couldn't help it. He broke laughing.
"It pleases me to see that my situation brings you much joy," Tyrion said angrily.
"It's not that" Jaime waved his brother's anger off. "You're speaking like a warrior there! It's surprising but a pleasant one."
Tyrion grumbled under his breath.
[BASE OF THE HARBOR WALL]
[The battering ram pounds relentlessly into the wooden door.]
[BEHIND THE WALL]
"Don't fight for your king and don't fight for his kingdoms."
"Well, that's some start to a speech" Renly snorted.
"Don't fight for honour. Don't fight for glory. Don't fight for riches, because you won't get any. This is your city Stannis means to sack. That's your gate he's ramming. If he gets in, it will be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he will rape. Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them."
[The Lannister forces raise their swords and shout in support. TYRION strides off, and they follow.]
"He ended it well, hit it right where it hurts so the men would rally. That was smartly done" Robert grunted his approval. Maybe he had underestimated the desperation in the imp.
[MAEGOR'S HOLDFAST]
[CERSEI and TOMMEN sit. LANCEL reports.]
"The battle is lost, Your Grace. Stannis' troops are at the gates. When the gold cloaks saw the king leaving, they lost all heart."
"That utter FOOL!' Jaime roared with frustration. The battle was not lost, the men were still fighting! Oh, how he'd love to beat his cousin bloody right now for being a coward!
"Where is my son?"
"I want to escort him back to the battle."
"Why do I care what you want? Bring me-"
"Now listen to me-"
"This is the singular worst time to grow a spine" Tyrion winced.
[Enraged, CERSEI leaps up and stabs LANCEL, who falls to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain. She walks over him and exits with TOMMEN. The women begin to panic.]
"Why would she do that?" Myrcella gasped in horror. Lancel was just trying to do what was best for the battle.
"Your mother is panicking. Even under normal circumstances, she does not like being told what to do by people she thinks are below her. Right about now, she's ready to kill anyone if they try to tell her what is right and what is wrong" Tyrion explained.
Myrcella paled, gripping Tommen's hand tightly.
Tommen stayed strong and did not cry out from pain. The sight of people being stabbed, or people dying did not bother him, because he'd shut his eyes every time he knew it would happen.
"Don't be afraid. The queen has raised the drawbridge. This is the safest place we can be. Joffrey's not hurt. He's fighting bravely. His knights have rallied behind him. They will save the city. Shall we sing a hymn? Gentle mother, fount of mercy..."
[SHAE grabs SANSA from behind, startling her.]
"You must go. Run to your chamber and bar your door. Stannis won't hurt you. This one will."
[SHAE indicates ILYN PAYNE, who stands guard.]
Catelyn bit her lips while Ned's brows furrowed, both in worry.
"Come with me."
"I need to say goodbye to someone."
"The queen said they'd rape everyone."
"No one is raping me."
[SHAE reveals a dagger bound her her calf, beneath the dress.]
"Smart girl" Tyrion chuckled.
[SANSA'S CHAMBERS]
[SANSA moves fleetly through the corridor. She enters her chambers and bolts the door. She picks up a doll.]
"The lady is starting to panic."
[She turns around in fright to find THE HOUND sitting quietly in the corner.]
"Why's he there?!" Catelyn muttered with half a cry. He wouldn't hurt her, she knew it. He saved her once, he'd do it again.
"What are you doing here?"
"Not here for long. I'm going."
"Where?"
"Someplace that isn't burning. North, might be. Could be."
"Take her with you" Robb whispered, almost begging, too quietly for anyone to hear. He didn't want Sansa to have to be subjected to all that which would surely befall her.
[THE HOUND takes a drink.]
"I can take you with me. Take you to Winterfell."
The Starks look with hope. A way out! And after Catelyn botched a hostage exchange, this was the only way out now.
[THE HOUND stands.]
"I'll keep you safe. Do you want to go home?"
"I'll be safe here. Stannis won't hurt me."
"You idiot! Why aren't you going with him?!" Arya shrieked.
"I don't know!" Sansa wailed, confused herself. How could her future self not see the danger she was in?!
[THE HOUND stumbles forward. SANSA whispers.]
"Look at me. Stannis is a killer. The Lannisters are killers. Your father was a killer. Your brother is a killer. Your sons will be killers someday. The world is built by killers. So you'd better get used to looking at them."
"You won't hurt me."
"No, little bird, I won't hurt you."
[THE HOUND turns and unlocks the door. SANSA considers whether to join him.]
"Go with him!" Robb, Bran and Arya shout in unison.
[THE SEWERS]
[TYRION uses his axe to remove the chain from the sewer's gate. He steps out onto the shore and the Lannister men follow quietly.]
"Oh clever plan, brother" Jaime was grinning. Tyrion was turning the tide in their favour!
[The battle rages. The ram has made further progress. Flaming arrows still rain down. TYRION comes up behind the man and slices his ankle wide open He falls and TYRION lands another heavy blow blood spurting.]
"Attack!"
[Their surprise attack is successful, and they quickly dispatch the vulnerable men.]
"Roll it over!"
[They overturn the boat, and someone above drops a torch inside to set it aflame. They all celebrate with a resounding cheer.]
"Halfman! Halfman! Halfman!"
"Never thought I'd love hearing someone call me that" Tyrion muttered, trying and failing to hide his blush.
[TYRION turns around to see a host of soldiers coming upon them from the short. The battle begins again.]
"Oh, fuck me."
Jaime snorts.
"You're repeating yourself uncle" Tommen said with a small smile.
Tyrion chuckled and smiled at his nephew.
[TYRION battles a soldier with a mace. The soldier gains the advantage but is then tackled by one of TYRION's men. He smiles, while a Baratheon knight notices him and walks forward. He swings his sword at TYRION, and slices open his cheek.]
Joanna stifled a gasp. He was alright. It was a cut and nothing more. He was still standing.
[TYRION reels. Suddenly, a spear pierces the knight's face. He falls to reveal PODRICK wielding the fatal weapon.]
"Good man!" Tyrion roared. He was so glad he had a squire. Maybe he'd get this boy early. Podrick Payne... yes he would get him. And maybe also take some lessons with an axe too.
Q. Who will win this war?
A) A complete victory of Tyrion Lannister
B) A complete victory of Stannis Baratheon
C) Tywin Lannister appears with his army and captures Stannis Baratheon
D) Tywin Lannister appears with Tyrell army and Stannis retreats.
