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[THE HAND'S CHAMBERS]
[TYRION enters. LORD TYWIN LANNISTER, QUEEN CERSEI LANNISTER, VARYS, and GRAND MAESTER PYCELLE are already seated. KING JOFFREY BARATHEON walks behind his grandfather, excited and grinning.]
"Show him. Come on, show him."
[Hand shaking, PYCELLE offers a scroll to TYRION. He drops it before TYRION can grab it.]
"Oh, apologies, my lord. Old fingers."
"Oh bull shit" Rhaegar snorted disdainfully. That old lecher did it on purpose!
[Annoyed, TYRION reaches to the floor and snatches the scroll. He reads it. JOFFREY is manic with energy.]
"Roslin caught a fine fat trout. Her brothers gave her a pair of wolf pelts for her wedding. Signed Walder Frey.' Is that bad poetry or is it supposed to mean something?"
"Robb Stark is dead. And his bitch mother."
[JOFFREY turns to Pycelle]
"Write back to Lord Frey. Thank him for his service and command him to send Robb Stark's head. I'm going to serve it to Sansa at my wedding feast."
"Your Grace, Lady Sansa is your aunt by marriage."
"A joke. Joffrey did not mean it."
"He meant it" Sansa muttered, feeling sick to her stomach. She couldn't handle it. She knew she couldn't handle seeing Robb's head like she saw her father's
"Yes, I did. I'm going to have it served to Sansa at my wedding feast."
"No. She is no longer yours to torment."
"Everyone is mine to torment. You'd do well to remember that, you little monster."
Disgust roiled through the minds of everyone, especially those with a memory of Aerys Targaryen. It was like seeing him all over again, except golden and younger.
"Oh, I'm a monster. Perhaps you should speak to me more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like Flies."
"Stupid thing to say, brother. Deserved, but completely stupid" Jaime muttered.
"Yeah, well I don't quite hold myself back on reprimanding my nephew we both know. Him being a King seems to not have changed that habit of mine" Tyrion muttered around his chalice.
"I could have your tongue out for saying that."
[CERSEI takes JOFFREY's hand to calm him.]
"Let him make his threats. Hmm? He's a bitter little man,"
"Look who's talking" Tyrion snorted.
"Lord Tyrion should apologize immediately. Unacceptable, disrespectful, and in very bad taste."
"I can kill him, yes?" Tyrion looked expectantly at his King. "When we return.
Robert waved it away. Pycelle was not his concern.
Tyrion though was grinning.
"I am the king! I will punish you."
"Any man who must say, 'I am the king' is no true king. I'll make sure you understand that when I've won your war for you."
Tyrion smirked. Finally, that bastard was going to be leashed.
"My father won the real war. He killed Prince Rhaegar. He took the crown while you hid under Casterly Rock!"
Tyrion blinked in surprise at the gall on Joffrey, while a lot of people snorted. They had a similar thought to the one Joffrey had, but Tyrion cared more about the balls on his nephew.
Power really did change people.
[Once again, the room goes silent as the depth of the insult sinks in.]
"The king is tired. See him to his chambers."
"He did not just-"
"I think he did-"
A few people laughed at the dismissal. The fucking king dismissed as a tantrum-throwing child!
Then again, Joffrey surely acted like that.
"I'm not tired."
[CERSEI pulls JOFFREY towards the door.]
"We have so much to celebrate. A wedding to plan. You must rest."
"Grand Maester, perhaps some essence of nightshade to help him sleep."
"I'm not tired!"
[CERSEI and JOFFREY exit. PYCELLE stands, takes the scroll from the table, and shuffles out. Next, VARYS rises smoothly to depart. TYRION cautiously swivels to leave as well.]
"Not you."
[TYRION measures the situation as VARYS exits.]
"You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper."
"You're a fool if you believe he's the most powerful man in Westeros."
"But he's King," Tommen said softly. "Aren't Kings the most powerful?"
"A King is only as strong as the people that support him. He has no armies of his own" Tyrion explained.
Tommen nodded thoughtfully.
"A treasonous statement. Joffrey is king."
"You really think a crown gives you power?"
"No. I think armies give you power. Robb Stark had one, never lost a battle, and you defeated him all the same."
[TYWIN hums]
"Oh, I know. Walder Frey gets all the credit. Or the blame, I suppose, depending on your allegiance. Walder Frey is many things, but a brave man? No. He never would have risked such an action if he didn't have certain assurances."
"Which he got from me. Do you disapprove?"
The people already knew this, or at least suspected it. But to hear it so blatantly... their anger only rose.
"I'm all for cheating. This is war."
"But to slaughter them at a wedding. Explain to me why it is more noble to kill ten thousand men in battle than a dozen at dinner."
"You break no oaths when you kill men in war." Ned said coldly.
"Men know what they are signing up for. Guest Rights are not things to play with to avoid losses."
He was snarling at the end, sounding vicious enough to push anyone back, out of fear that he would lash out at them.
Not that people would fight him on this, not when they agreed.
"So that's why you did it? To save lives?"
"To end the war. To protect the family. Do you want to write a song for the dead Starks? Go ahead, write one. I'm in this world a little while longer to defend the Lannisters, to defend my blood."
"The Northerners will never forget."
"Good. Let them remember what happens when they march on the South. All the Stark men are dead. Winterfell is a ruin. Roose Bolton will be named Warden of the North until your son by Sansa comes of age. I believe you still have some work to do on that score."
AH, so that's what was promised.
Ned's hand clenched in anger. It was a mistake on his mind to overlook certain rumours coming from the Dreadfort. No, there would be no mercy from him this time, even without any proof at hand. He could not let a snake fester in his backyard.
"Do you think she'll open her legs for me after I tell her how we murdered her mother and brother?"
"One way or another, you will get that girl pregnant."
Joanna's hand clenched in disbelief and anger. To suggest that-
"If you don't kill him, I will" Brandon the Elder snarled.
"Don't go through the trouble. I will have him killed" Tyrion assured him.
"If not, I'll make sure he's dead," Oberyn said cheerfully. "I'd be more than happy to do so."
Brandon nodded with a savage smile.
Q. How is Ramsay Snow going to torture Theon?
A. Cut off his tounge
B. Cut off his cock
C. Cut off his hand
D. Have a man fuck his ass
"B) Cut off his cock" Jon Snow answered
"A) Cut off his hand" Jamie Lannister answered hearing which Jon Snow couldn't help but smile and look at him
[DUNGEON, SOMEWHERE]
[RAMSAY SNOW sits, merrily eating a sausage. LORD THEON GREYJOY is strapped once again to the X-shaped cross.]
Theon winced. He did not want to come back here and see himself in this state. But since he was... the torture was probably not over.
"Well, the girls weren't lying. You had a good-sized cock."
"Please tell me he didn't fuck himself with my cock" Theon muttered.
"I'm sure he enjoyed It brother" Yara clapped him on the back. Her brother had come to join her again, to her smiles.
Theon though scowled.
"I am not fucking some pillowbiter's ass."
"It's not different from a woman's cunt, I can assure you."
"I highly doubt that."
"Other than a baby being pushed out of there, they are both fuck hole" she grinned.
Theon made a face of disgust.
"What? No. Pork sausage. You think I'm some sort of savage? People talk about phantom limbs. An amputee might have an itch where his foot used to be. So I've always wondered do eunuchs have a phantom cock?"
[He holds up a pork sausage as a visual aid and shakes it. THEON winces and whimpers. He begins to weep. RAMSAY takes a bite.]
Theon... stiffened.
"What did he say?" he asked in disbelief.
"He cut your cock" Yara said simply, though there was nothing simple in her blank look.
Theon was not filled with grief or fear but with anger. The anger boiled in him, but he showed restraint. There was no point blowing up here, nobody would take his side if he did. He'll hold it in, and once he was out he'd find this bastard and make sure to kill it himself.