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"I, Tommen of the House Baratheon, First of my Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, and Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, do hereby recuse myself from this trial. Tywin of the House Lannister, Hand of the King, Protector of the Realm, will sit as judge in my stead. And with him Prince Oberyn of the House Martell and Lord Mace of the House Tyrell. And if found guilty... may the gods punish the accused."
"He's done well" Tyrion whispered to Jaime, who nodded with a hint of pride.
[TOMMEN exits, walking past both TYRION and JAIME, OBERYN and MACE TYRELL join TYWIN on the main platform. Everyone sits, save TYRION.]
"Tyrion of the House Lannister, you stand accused by the Queen Regent of regicide."
"She would have accused me of a lot more things if she had her way" Tyrion muttered. The 'murder' of their mother came to his mind among the first of those things.
"Did you kill King Joffrey?"
"No."
"Did your wife, the Lady Sansa?"
"Not that I know of."
Sansa smiled slightly. The Imp did not push her into harm's way to save himself.
"How would you say he died, then?"
"Choked on his pigeon pie."
"So you would blame the bakers?"
"Or the pigeons. Just leave me out of it."
"You're not taking this seriously" Jaime muttered.
"Because I know I'll be found guilty one way or the other."
"The crown may call its first witness."
[MERYN TRANT is brought to the stand.]
"Once we'd got King Joffrey safely away from the mob, the Imp rounded on him. He slapped the king across the face and called him a vicious idiot and a fool. It wasn't the first time the Imp threatened Joffrey."
"I've been doing it his entire life" Tyrion rolled his eyes in annoyance. "But sure, ignore that part."
"Right here in this throne room, he marched up those steps and called our king a halfwit. Compared His Grace to the Mad King and suggested he'd meet the same fate. And when I spoke in the king's defence, he threatened to have me killed."
"Oh, why don't you tell them what Joffrey was doing?"
"Silence."
"Pointing a loaded crossbow at Sansa Stark while you tore at her clothes and beat her."
"Silence! You will not speak unless called upon."
"Then I'll not be speaking at all!" Tyrion exclaimed. As if that man would let him defend himself.
"You're dismissed, Ser Meryn."
[MERYN TRANT exits, eyeing TYRION on his way out. PYCELLE takes his place]
"Seven Hells all the people that hate him or he's made an enemy of are being brought to the stand" Renly muttered.
"That is on him for not thinking before speaking or doing things" Robert grunted. The King found the Imp funny and a good drinking buddy from time to time, but even he knew the little man had a mouth that would get him killed.
"Basilisk venom, Widow's Blood, Wolfsbane, Essence of Nightshade, Sweet Sleep, Tears of Lys, Demon's Dance... Blind Eye-"
"I think you have made your point, Grand Maester. You have a lot of poison in your store."
"Had, Prince Oberyn. My stores were plundered. By the accused, Tyrion Lannister, after he had me wrongfully imprisoned."
"Yes, because I would plunder the first place people would look for clues if I wanted my nephew dead" Tyrion rolled his eyes. No doubt this was a story from Cersei's mouth.
"Grand Maester, you examined King Joffrey's corpse. Was it without question poison that killed him?"
"Without question."
[The crowd murmurs. PYCELLE removes a necklace from his sleeve.]
"This was found on the body of Dontos Hollard, the king's fool. He was last seen spiriting Sansa Stark, the wife of the accused, away from the feast. She wore this necklace on the day of the wedding. Residue of a most rare and terrible poison was found inside."
"Was this one of the poisons stolen from your store?"
"It was. The Strangler. A poison few in the Seven Kingdoms possess. And used to strike down the most noble child the gods ever put on this good earth."
"The fact that he called Joffrey that, that alone should render his words moot" Oberyn snorted.
"Is the poison always found in crystal form?" Daenerys questioned.
"The poison is made from plants that are only found on islands in the Jade Sea. The leaves are picked, aged and then soaked in a wash of limes, sugar water and rare spices from the Summer Isles. The leaves are discarded, but the liquid is kept and thickened with ash and allowed to crystallize" Oberyn explained. "Though I would question why the Grandmaester has such a thing. It is rare and expensive and the Citadel hardly ever deals with it so at best he would have pages about its preparation."
"A mystery to ponder over for sure" Elia mused out loud.
[PYCELLE exits. CERSEI takes his place]
"I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth and you will know the debt is paid."
"I've told you, your words would come to bite you" Joanna groaned.
Tyrion said nothing. How could he when his mother was right?
"Shortly before the Battle of Blackwater Bay. I confronted him about his plans to put Joffrey on the front lines. As it turned out, when the attack came, Joff insisted on remaining at the battlements. He believed his presence would inspire the troops."
"Of course, the brave and bold Joffrey would say that" Arya rolled her eyes. Joffrey was an evil coward and nothing more.
"Tyrion said, "And you will know the debt is paid. "What debt?"
"I discovered he'd been keeping whores in the Tower of the Hand. I asked him to confine his salacious acts to the brothel where such behaviour belongs. He wasn't pleased."
Tyrion rolled his eyes. Seven Hells...
"Thank you, Your Grace, for the courage of your testimony."
[MARGAERY sighs. CERSEI leaves the witness stand. JAIME watches her return to her seat, and their eyes lock. VARYS takes her place.]
"Do you remember the precise nature of this threat?"
"I'm afraid I do, my lord. He said, Perhaps you should speak more softly to me, then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies."
"And he said this to you at a meeting of the small council?"
"Yes. After we received word of Robb Stark's death. He didn't seem gladdened by the news. Perhaps his marriage to Sansa Stark had made him more sympathetic to the northern cause."
"I thought we were friends," Tyrion said with mock hurt.
"We are, Lord Tyrion. But I would not risk myself for the friendship. Not when I certainly have other plans" Varys said with a smile.
Plans? Tyrion was now curious.
"You're excused, Lord Varys."
[VARYS nods and leaves the stand.]
"Father, may I ask the witness one question?"
"One."
"You once said that without me, this city would have faced certain defeat. You said the histories would never mention me, but you would not forget. Have you forgotten, Lord Varys?"
"Sadly, my lord, I never forget a thing."
[VARYS bows and exits. TYRION watches him go.]
Tyrion smirked and so did Varys. One question and the people's minds would surely have a different process of thought.
"We will adjourn for now."