(Viewpoint: Ela)
The light never changes here.
Always white. Always perfect. Always cold.
Even time seems to have stopped.
I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows against my knees. My fingers remain motionless in front of me. My lips are dry. Cracked. I sometimes run my tongue over them without even realizing it.
The door is closed. Again.
And like every morning-
– Request denied.
The virtual assistant's voice echoes softly in the room. Calm. Polite. Empty.
I close my eyes.
– I want to see Alpha-1.
Silence. Then-
– Request denied
.
My jaw clenches.
I look at the wall. White. Always white.
– THEN GIVE ME BETA-2.
– Request denied.
My breath trembles slightly.
– …why doesn't anyone want to answer me…?
Obviously. No response.
I lower my head.
My hair slips in front of my eyes and the image of Roum immediately returns. Her gaze drains me.
My chest tightens again.
It never really goes away now. This pain. Like a hand jammed between my ribs.
I close my eyes tightly. But it comes back again.
Roum .
Roum
Roum
Roum ~....
I see his silhouette disappear into that immense mist. His black arm. His expressionless face.
And me…
I should have shot him far away from there, far away from all of that.
I grip the sheets tightly until I feel my fingers trembling.
– …find him…
My voice faded almost immediately.
No one is answering.
As always.
Tic
Tac
Tic
Tac
Tic
Tac
Tic
Tac
The door opened later. I don't know how much time passed.
Two white machines enter. Smooth masks. Same precise movements. Same absence of presence.
I can't even resist anymore.
They approach. One of them places a hand against my arm.
– Interview room.
I simply look away.
The corridor slowly unfolds around me. White. Silent. Infinite.
Figures sometimes pass behind the glass. Technicians? Screens? Lights? I feel like a product on display.
an object moved from one room to another.
My feet slow down slightly as we arrive in front of the hall.
The door opens.
And she's already here.
Always.
Seated in the center of the white room.
Big. Too big.
Her body disappears beneath several layers of light-colored fabric that fall to the floor like shrouds. Her arms are long. Abnormally long. Her slender fingers rest against her knees, motionless, curled like a spider's.
His mask is perfectly white. No mouth. No emotion. Only two dark openings.
I have never seen his face.
Never.
Even his breathing is quiet. Weak.
She looks fragile. Almost ill.
But as soon as I enter-
She slowly turns her head towards me.
– N.
My throat tightens immediately.
I remain standing.
– …that's not my name.
Silence.
Then his head tilted slightly.
– N.
Again.
Always the same word.
I grit my teeth and walk over to the chair opposite her before sitting down abruptly.
The fabric around her barely moves.
– Why are you calling me like that…?
No response.
She remains motionless.
Her long fingers slid slowly against the white fabric of her arms.
I stare at her. For a long time.
And the more I look at her… the more something makes me uncomfortable.
Not its appearance.
No.
Something else.
A feeling. As if I knew her.
As if… .
– Ha! Where is Alpha-1…?
The mask remains turned towards me.
Then-
– N.
My breathing becomes heavier.
– STOP CALLING ME LIKE THAT.
The word rings out in the room.
But she doesn't react.
Not even a start.
Her fingers curl gently. Slowly.
– Your name is N.
I remain frozen.
His voice is strange. Neither truly human. Nor entirely mechanical.
Sweet. But empty.
– No.
– You forgot.
A shiver immediately ran down my spine.
My eyes narrow.
– …forgotten what…?
Silence.
Then she lowers her head slightly.
– A lot of things.
My heart skips a beat.
I straighten up without realizing it.
– What does that mean…?
She did not respond immediately.
The soft sound of the fabric sliding against the floor when she changes position slightly.
Then his hands rested on my head
– You cry often now.
I remain motionless.
My throat tightens.
– …what's it to you…?
The mask is staring at me.
– You never used to cry.
The silence that follows becomes heavy. Suffocating.
I look away.
Because she's right.
Before… I think that was true.
I don't remember clearly.
Yes.
Since Roum, I haven't cried anymore.
Since that day.
Since that feeling in my chest that refuses to go away.
My fingers tremble slightly against my legs.
– …I just want us to find him…we can go back into the pit
My voice is lower now.
Tired.
The mask is tilted slightly to the side.
- For what ?
I frown.
- What…?
– Why do you want to find him again? Do you want to leave? Are you looking for happiness? But it's his fault that you can't find any of that, this emotion is parasitizing you.
My mouth opens. Then closes.
The words remain stuck.
Is that a mistake…?
I… he…
Because it is important.
Because it needs to be retrieved.
Because he
I'm stopping.
Non.
That's not it.
The image of Roum comes back again. His empty gaze. His manner.
And something hurts.
Really bad.
I slowly lower my eyes to my hands.
– …I don't want him to be alone…
Silence falls immediately afterwards.
Even I… I think that sentence surprises me.
"You don't want to be alone," the thing murmured.
My fingers are clenching.
I hate this feeling.
This weakness. This fear.
Because deep down… I know exactly what it feels like.
To be abandoned, but I didn't want to admit it.
The white mask remains turned towards me.
Immobile.
Her long fingers move slowly and caress my hair.
She pulls me into her bed.
– N.
I immediately pushed my chair back with a sharp noise.
– Don't call me that.
My breathing is still trembling.
She leaves her hand suspended for a few seconds.
Then gently place it back against her.
As if it didn't matter at all.
But me…
I can still feel that strange pressure in my chest.
And deep down in my head…
A doubt is finally beginning to grow.
What exactly is this thing…?
And why do I have the feeling... that she knows me better than I know myself?