"In the routes of Elm street..., in the routes of Elm street", that had been the only line on this book since morning, the words were like echoes of relentless torture , a repeat of words that had no continuity , it was almost midnight. I had dipped my hands repeatedly into ice cold water to stop them from trembling, emptied four cans of beer and had drank four cups of coffee to stay awake but...., I was still on that darn single sentence , " in the routes of elm street.....", never had i thought that a single sentence could repulse me.
I was probably destined not to write this book , i sighed , this was hopeless, Daniel and Diah had not texted or called me and it was making me restless, I only said the fact...that i couldn't finish writing a book in three months , what if they were planning something again , I quickly shook my head ,I shouldn't think about those things, for now I should enjoy the little peace I had been granted for the time being.
It had been too quiet ..., after the conversation I and Denver had this morning , I would probably not base it as a conversation but.....I hadn't seen or heard from him since , my eyes widened at my sudden thought, what was I doing , why was I suddenly thinking about Denver ?, he is probably still at work , I should brush off those thoughts , it was none of my business. While still trying to clear my head , I heard a repeated " beep" like someone was trying to enter his passcode but kept getting it wrong.
I sat up on my bed , I was suddenly scared, " was it a burglar?", I muttered under my breath, thankfully my lights were switched off , I stood up and slowly walked to my door , each step barely touching the floorbefore taling another pace, I made sure to breathe silently almost inaudible that it felt like I was holding it in, I reluctantly looked through my peep hole , a tall man with black raven hair and broad shoulders stumbled cluelessly as he tried to enter his passcode, eventhough I could not see his face I could easily tell it was Denver , what was he doing , his movements were disoriented, was he drunk,, just then he fell down and just like that I didn't think for a second , I impulsively swung my door open and there he was , sitting on the floor , his head darting aimlessly and his legs sprawled on the floor , he was dressed in a black leather jacket and a pair of blue jeans with a white free top, his hair fell across his face and he looked dishelved , his cheeks flushed red , it was clear that he was drunk.
I took gentle steps towards him, was he asleep?, I know it shouldn't intrude , I will give him the wrong idea but......, i remembered when he took care if me when I was also drunk and the other things he had done for me, I should also help him as repayment for what he had done for me , I looked down at his trembling hands, he was cold. I bent close to him , my hand reaching over as I touched his hand , the smell if wine wafted through my nose , he was drunk, " Denver.....", he didn't respond, he was pretty much knocked out cold , I raised my head and touched his forehead , some strands of his hair entwined between my fingers , the texture was soft , my eyes widened with disbelief, his body was hot. I began to panic , what if he actually passed out because he was sick, " hah....what will i do, hey...hey, Denver wake up , at least tell me your passcode huh....., Denver", "hmm.....", a low groaned of dissatisfaction escaped his lips like he was being disturbed, his eyes slowly fluttered open and our gazes locked , I was relieved that he was okay but at the same time I was.....flustered?, the way he looked at me, like he was holding in something, his eyes though dazed from the alcohol still held that unyielding warmth and gentleness, " Den....", my sentence was suddenly cut short when he suddenly held me by my arm, so gentle were his hands on my arm and then he pulled me closer to his face , our faces were inches apart, then he smirked, " i have told you....., not to tempt me", his voice was low and rough , it was uneven , carrying a dangerous mix of tenderness and temptation, I knew what he meant because being close to him made everything fiber of my being tingle, " haah....",he sighed , his breath shook fervently like he was restraining himself from doing something,the he closed his eyes and looked down as if he was ashamed of what he was feeling.
I clenched my hands, he then looked up at me, his eyes lingering for a moment and I could feel my breath hitch, his hand slowly crept up and softly cupped my face , I should push him away...why couldn't I?, his eyes scanned my face, then look in his eyes held that of curiosity and his gaze somewhat exotic yet restrained , even when he held my face I could feel it, how his hands slightly trembled and both the warmth and the roughness of his palm contrasted amicably,he sighed softly as his thumb softly rubbed against my cheek," when you are this close ........I don't think straight", his voice came out as a whisper , i felt my heart beating unusually fast, i shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be this close, the distance between us closed abruptly , the lights flickering above us . Denver was a nice person, he deserved better, I kept telling myself that , I kept saying i wanted to be selfish but....his hand crept to the back of my neck ,he tilted his head a little and for a moment my body felt lucid, " can I....", his voice low, begging...", " please can I .....", he whispered as he leaned in closer, his eyes were on my lips and for a second I wanted it to happen , I wanted his lips on mine , I wanted feel him in every way and I wanted to kiss him more than anything, these were my crude thoughts and I quickly dismissed it, he was drunk, if anything happenes we will both regret it, I quickly held his shoulder , he groggily looked up at me , he looked frustrated and his eyes seemed to blink slowly, his head bobbed helplessly that I had to cup the back of his head with my hand , " Denver....", i called him as I looked up at his door then I looked back at him, his eyes were already on me, they were filled with somewhat curiosity, " say my name again...",his voice sounded hoarse , raw...., i backed away a little , surprised at what he just said, my hand still held the back of his head, my knees felt sore from kneeling for too long but all that didn't matter because for some reason the way he had said it , it was was overwhelming and a surge of heat exploded within my body.
His gaze still on mine, I could feel that heat begin to creep to my cheek that I had to look away mostly out of embarrassment but....I felt his hands cup my face and and he gently turned my head to look at him once more , he leaned closer to me, my heart was thumping against my chest that I was sure that in this quiet hall anyone of near proximity would hear it, even Denver, he looked a little sober now, I felt his hands softly circle around my waist and then he pulled me down, it was not a sudden move so I wasn't startled , it was calculated , gentle like he was trying his best not to offend me and even if I wanted to pull away I just couldn't, and now I was sitting between his legs, my back was resting on his chest , the slow rhythm of his heart seemed to push away every thought I had.
It was calming and peaceful, I knew it was wrong, I will probably go back to my room and regret why I did this but in this small mome t, I wanted to be selfish, he placed his chin on my shoulder, some of hair rustled softly at the nape of my n3ck , it was ticklish, I imagined how uncomfortable he could be right now because with his height , placing his head on my shoulder could be bothersome , " the way you said my name....was so warm", his voice was cool, his breath fanned the nape of my neck and that mild scent of wine , I felt his lips touch my skin and I could feel my cheeks heating up, the faint scent of wine reminded me that the person l3aning on my shoulder right now was drunk.
I immediately pulled myself forward , it wasn't delibrate and his head unconsciously nodded backward a little but on instinct I placed my hand on his forehead, a little alarmed both by my sudden action and te fact that Denver almost fell over , I was flustered, how did I say his name any differently from how I usually said it, he was talking nonsense , " just.....just put in your passcode.....I......I will help you up, do make sure you lean unto me ", why was i stammering?, he smiled lazily as he nodded his head against my hand and for some reason, ....., a small smile seemed to each from the corner of my lips.. ... , it wasn't hard to admit that seeing this side of him was adorable.
I quickly shook my head, that smile instantly fading away , I must have lost my mind for a second there, what was I thinking just now?, i leaned closer to him, by now his head was leaning on the wall, our eyes met once again and I quickly averted my gaze, " r....ready....", i took his arm and swung it around my shoulder, I was expecting it to be limp since he wasn't that sober but it was somewhat light, he was helping me by not fully resting his arm on my shoulder, I sighed a little as we both stood up slowly, surprising he wasn't as heavy as I had expected despite his physique, despite being drunk he was still being considerate, I found it.....amusing, how can he still be so nice.
When we were at his door , I looked up at him, his eyes were glued i his door , after a moment if silence and waiting he finally punched in his passcode whilst I looked away and luckily his door chimed open, I unconsciously wrapped my hand around his waist to stop his dmfkm stumbling and I could feel him slightly flinch, I wanted to immediately pull away but it would just be akward and his movements were still somewhat disoriented, I didnt look at him , I didn't want to see the kind of expression that was on his face.
We staggered in, mostly Denver though and finally we were inside, the lights were dim and as usual that large glass panel in his living room exhibited such a breathtaking view, without much struggle, I sat him down on his couch which faced the glass panel and then I placed my hand on his forehead, he was still burning up, " hah.....you are still burning up.....I will just....", i wanted to leave to get a bowl of water and God so help me if I found a towel just lying anywhere but then I felt Denver wrap his hand around my wrist , his warmth enveloped me fully and it felt ...nice. His thumb softly caressing and tracing slow circles over the center of my wrist and that fluttering feeling in my chest spiralled out of control.
Our eyes locked , he seemed kind of sober right now and the watmy he looked at me was of clear affection, " can you....", he heaved a little hesitant to say what he wanted to say and for a second he seemed timid, " can you stay the night", his voice came out softly momentarily braking the warm silence. For a moment the air seemed to be still , " stay . the . night ", what he had said seemed to echo, his hands still on my wrist still drawing those imaginary circles, he looked vulnerable, probably contemplating whether he had said the wrong thing and for a moment I somehow felt sorry for him. I didn't know what yo say, he was he expecting me to answer this question?, my throat had suddenly ran dry , I used my other hand to clench the hem of my shirt, I didn't know how i felt right now , i could decipher that was nervous but.....I looked at the glass view before me, the golden glaze of the cities lights reflected through the glass panel and then I heard him, it was out of the blue, " you did well..., you always do well....., you are a good person Rhea, i am proud of you", what he said suddenly reminded me of my mother who never fo4 once looked back at me.
The words he just said......, was what I had always wanted to hear from my mother, I had wanted to hold myself, I felt that if I became selfish...I would never acknowledge the fact that I had been waiting for her, everyone moved on and they had all been selfish, it seemed like I was the only one who was stuck in time.
I felt my eyes begin to sting , my eyes clouded with unshed tears, that painful realization made me feel like a fool , I also wanted to be selfish, I looked down at him , in the dim lighting his golden hazel eyes seemed brighter, a small smile crept tovthe corners of my lips and the trapped tears finally fell. He looked confused probably thinking it was him that caused whatever I was crying about, he wanted to say something but I spoke first, I wanted to be selfish, " Denver......can I lean on you tonight.....?", I want to move on, to stop seeking for an approval that will never find me . He looked taken aback and he gulped a little,vhe wasn't expecting that and it seemed I surprised him once again.
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In mythology, the story of the forbidden romance between the sun and the moon, how they couldn't meet due to their fates, the gods took pity on those tragic lovers and after some conclusions an excuse was created , where the lovers could meet and embrace each other for a short while , to other it was called the eclipse but to the sun and the moon it was the happiest moment of their cursed fates, even if it was irregular an they didn't know when they will ever meet again , they were happy about the little time they spent together.