The old man was furious.
Naruto swung his arms and headed straight for the grave of the Second Hokage.
As usual, he gave the tombstone a casual kick—his own strange way of greeting the dead.
I'm here to ask for help. Wake up already, don't sleep!
He then hopped onto the grave and began shoveling. One scoop after another, he piled dirt onto the First Hokage's resting place. In his mind, it was efficient—dig up the Second Hokage's grave while conveniently filling the First's. Two birds with one stone.
But this was the resting place of Konoha's greatest heroes. The cemetery was part of the village's core grounds; naturally, it would be patrolled. Maybe not enough to warrant jonin rushing at the slightest disturbance, but certainly genin on guard. After all, being a tomb keeper in a shinobi village was still a respectable and steady job.
Sweat poured down Naruto's face as he dug noisily into the Second Hokage's grave. The sound was loud enough that anyone nearby could hear it. Just as he pried open the coffin lid, a furious shout cut through the night.
"Hey! Who dares desecrate the resting place of Konoha's Hokage!?"
A patrolling genin caught sight of the graves. Both the First and Second Hokage's tombs had been disturbed. Trembling with rage, he unfurled a scroll and slammed it to the ground.
At that moment, Sarutobi Hiruzen—who had been dozing lightly in his home—snapped awake. His eyes widened, and in a blur he vanished into the night.
Naruto, however, felt oddly relieved. If the guards had noticed, that meant he didn't need to sneak around anymore. He could act openly.
"Ah, my mistake," Naruto said casually, feigning innocence. "I was tired from traveling and thought I'd dig a pit to camp for the night. I didn't realize this was a cemetery!"
"This is sacred ground—the resting place of the Hokage!" the genin shouted, veins bulging in his forehead. "You dug up the Second Hokage's grave and dare call it a campsite!?"
Do you take me for a fool!?
"This is Konoha! No traveler could just wander into the Hokage's graves. Speak! Where are you from!?"
The Third Hokage appeared in front of Naruto in an instant, still in his sleeping robes. He had rushed here the moment the report reached him.
But Naruto, disguised and calm, was unbothered. While speaking, he deliberately pushed open the lid of Senju Tobirama's coffin in full view of the old Hokage.
"As mighty as the Second Hokage Senju Tobirama once was, he too could not escape time's decay. The master of forbidden jutsu, reduced to nothing but bones." Naruto's lips curled into a wicked smile. "Tell me, Third Hokage—what do you think people live for?"
"This is not the discussion we should be having," Hiruzen said coldly, though fury burned in his eyes. "You have two choices. One: return Tobirama's remains and repair this grave, then explain yourself. I may show mercy. Two: refuse—and I'll cut you down where you stand to avenge my predecessor!"
He stood firm, certain this intruder could not escape his grasp.
Naruto chuckled. "Why so tense? I told you—I'm just a traveler without coin for an inn. So I dug a hole to sleep. Who could've guessed this was the Hokage's resting place? My mistake."
Even as he spoke, he flicked Tobirama's leg bone into his system space, concealing it instantly. This was the true prize of the night, and there was no way he would return it.
Hiruzen's eyes narrowed as he saw the bone vanish. The intruder had no intention of showing respect. He was mocking him.
"Very well," the Hokage growled. "You're bold. In all my years, I've never seen someone brazen enough to claim they lost their way into Konoha Cemetery. But this is my village—you won't walk away freely."
"Ah, forgive me, elder. I don't wish to fight. I only have a mission to complete. How about this—I leave now, and we forget this happened?" Naruto said with an easy smile. Of course, he didn't care. This was just a shadow clone. If the battle turned against him, he'd dispel it. Nothing ventured, nothing lost.
What can you really do to me? Kill a clone? Hmph.
Hiruzen's hand shifted subtly toward his back. His expression hardened. "I don't waste words on nameless fools. State your name before you die."
Naruto smirked. "Tch, looks like the old man's still got some fire. Fine then. Since you're so eager—remember this name in the afterlife! I am Robin Hood of the Sherwood Forest! Ask around in the underworld, and you'll find none who don't know me!"
He struck a flamboyant thumbs-up pose, the kind Might Guy loved to use, grinning at the Hokage as if mocking him.
"Sherwood Forest? Robin Hood?" The Third Hokage frowned, muttering to himself in doubt.
I've never heard of such a person… Which clan even calls itself the Sherwood Forest? Some obscure branch family, perhaps?
"Robin Hood of the Sherwood Forest, hm? Well, well—the new wave rises against the old. Seems I've been idle for too long, to miss the rise of a so-called great figure in the shinobi world! Such bold spirit and courage!"
Hiruzen said solemnly. In his mind, a ninja rarely lied about their name. Look at Zabuza Momochi—he always announced himself openly. Why would this one be different?
Naruto nearly burst out laughing. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold it in.
This old fool actually believes it!? You'll never track down a name like that, not in a hundred lifetimes! Robin Hood of the Sherwood Forest—what does that even mean?
And yet, he keeps treating it like I'm some legendary figure. Truly, he's giving me more credit than I deserve.
Still, Naruto smirked to himself. In a way, it wasn't wrong. Tonight's work was the kind of thing a "big shot" would do. Two graves dug up—hardly the calling card of some nobody.
Want to find Robin Hood of the Sherwood Forest? Hah, good luck! He doesn't exist in the shinobi world—you'd have to search the realms of fantasy to even have a chance. Unless, of course, the system itself is your father…
Naruto's thoughts were dripping with mischief as he watched the Hokage's expression, thoroughly enjoying the private joke.