In the small rural village of Greenhold, inside a local bar...
Edward sat down in the bar. Meanwhile he eavesdrops a rather drunk and wide old man saying. "These new artifact collectors are all the same... IDIOTS, ABSOLUTE IDIOTS!! Searching for meaningless objects while there are much greater things to chase after... like bitches...".
After hearing this, Edward couldn't help but laugh at the old man and say.
"An old man this expansive shouldn't even be able to speak!"
The old man started getting furious, as instead of laughing at Edward's "joke" he says.
"What did you just say about me boy?!"
"I said you're fat as fuck. And you look like you ate all them bitches."
The old man turned and gave Edward a strong punch to the face. the blunt force caused something in Edward's eyes toshift. Now, his eyes wereblue.
"S-sorry, i didn't mean it"
Edward said while stumbling backward. The old man felt proud of himself, saying.
"You should not mess with those stronger than you, think before you talk dipshit."
The old man was then met with a punch to his jaw, falling unconscious as Ed's eyes turned blood red.
That punch was followed with more and MORE and MORE!! punches until his face became unrecognizable.
As his motionless body lied on the ground Ed started laughing maniacally.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"
As commotion erupted inside the bar, a kid asked the bartender:
"Who is that guy?"
"You dont know? He's the Three headed collector, a notorious artifact hunter"
"He's so strong, I wanna be like him!"
The bartender eyed him in disbelief.
"I don't think you do... have you just seen what he did? He's insane."
After the beating, Ed is forced out of the bar and the kid follows after him enthusiastically.
"What you did was amazing, please teach me how to be so cool"
Ed saw a glaring opportunity to use the poor soul for his honorable cause.
"Oh, I see you have a discerning eye for strong and talented people, I might just let you join my cause and become a great warrior"
"Yes mister, please turn me into a fine warrior like yourself"
"Very well then, do you happen to know any clues about artifacts?"
The kid thought about his wise grandfather and said
"Follow me, I'll lead you to my grandfather, he knows everything."
The kid guided him to an average looking house in the outskirts of the village and then introduced him to his grandfather.
Ed's eyes turned yellow as he entered the house.
"Hey old man! Nice beard you got... it would be such a shame if i used it to wipe my ass..."
"You young people need to learn some respect... What did you even come here for? Ah yes... to get directions about artifacts... I've heard there was an artifact in a pretty peaceful place by the plains. Take the right when you leave the house and after walking a bit through the woods you'll find the plains."
Ed starts going through his bag after receiving the old man's information
"Here's an artifact as a gift to you for some later fun"
Ed gives the old man a "sausage" shaped artifact
"What the fuck is this thing, and why is it vibrating"
But Ed was nowhere to be seen
"I hope the wolves teach that idiot a lesson." The old man whispered.
Ed marched through the woods until the eerie forest gave way to a desolate ruin, beyond which stretched a small clearing.
Crack
The sound of a branch breaking was heard coming from the bushes.
As Ed's eyes changed to blue, many eyes could be spotted within the bushes.
"AaaHHHHHH"
Ed starts running away from the fearsome wolves while searching for a certain artifact in his pockets.
He grabs the artifact he wanted, a tiny skunk statue that releases a terrible stench that only affects wild animals.
The wolves, unable to bear the stench, fled back into the forest.
After taking care of the wolves, Ed started cautiously investigating the ruins.
As he was searching for an artifact he came across a suspicious looking rock. He grabs It and under it he finds a staircase.
The stairs seemed to have no end, at the very least no bottom that could be seen through the tangible darkness.
Going down the stairs Ed couldnt stop shaking. Finally at the bottom he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw a corridor full of torches.
He walked down the corridor and although he was treading very carefully he accidentally stepped on a pressure plate
As Ed heard the pressure plate sound, out of fear he sat down on the floor, cowering from what was about to come.
After a few seconds Ed saw a huge human-like figure rolling towards him in the hallway, it occupied the whole hallway.
After snapping out of such pathetic cowering, Ed started to run away from the immense humanoid blob of fat.
As Ed was sprinting, the blob was managing to gain on Ed, as it started to get nearer, Ed realised it was a "normal" human being, just blatantly overweight.
The fatty started to celebrate: "THANK YOU FOR FREEING ME!!!"
Turns out the pressure plate was what was keeping him stuck.
Ed sensed no more danger as the Salad Dodger started to slow down.
As he fully breaked, he started clapping his cheeks out of pure reverance
Ed's eyes switched to red after sensing the Belt Breaker's vunerability
Ed asked the Galaxy Destroyer how did he end up here, to which it responded:
"uhhh... me smell food, me come, me fall... me fat"
"name?" Asked Ed
"uhhh... uh.... me uh.... no name uhhhh... me fat..."
"I'll just call you Alex. If you join my cause i shall reward you with food beyond your imagination"
"uhhh... me fat me follow"
Suddenly a silhouette appeared from afar behind Alex...