"I still can't believe I agreed to this, I can't believe I agreed to this..." Loki grumbled, her face sour and her arms tightly crossed as she glared at the dome of smoke.
"Relax, everything is going to be fine," Hermes said nonchalantly, also waiting for the conversation to finish.
"Shut your mouth, you piece of garbage mailman. The last time you said something like that, I heard a goddess slammed your face right into the dirt."
"Hey, that wasn't my fault! I was just following orders!"
"I am sorry to say this, Hermes-sama, but it is completely your fault," Asfi stated from the side, standing alongside a few other members of her Familia.
"Et tu, Brutus?" Hermes lamented, clutching his chest dramatically.
"Boom! Roasted! Not even your own Familia is on your side, hahahaha!" Loki laughed extravagantly loud, pointing a finger directly at his face.
"Come talk to me when your elf-mama stops leading you around on a leash, you pants-wearing woman," Hermes shot back smoothly.
"Hey!"
While the two deities were in the middle of their super important conversation, Ouranos remained completely serene, arms crossed behind his back, calmly observing the clear sky above as if he were entirely at peace.
However, not everyone was quite as calm.
The crowd of adventurers packed into the surrounding streets, and especially the gods—reduced to simple, unimportant spectators—were practically dying of curiosity. They desperately wanted to know what would come out of that sealed barrier.
Would Freya actually claim the boy? Would the Freya Familia gain a terrifying new talent to match the newly revealed strength of the Ouranos Familia? Or would something entirely unexpected happen?
They didn't have to wait much longer.
Fssss...
The thick dome of mystical smoke finally began to break apart, slowly dissolving into the air. A moment later, Freya appeared, walking gracefully back toward her own Familia ranks.
But she was completely alone.
"Let's go," Freya said softly, without even slowing her pace.
Immediately, waves of surprise rippled through the avenue, catching the members of the Freya Familia entirely off guard.
"B-But, Freya-sama... what happened?" Allen Fromel asked, his face tightening with a rare look of complete disbelief as he quickly stepped up near her. "The boy..."
"Luki Bryan is not to be targeted by the Freya Familia in any way, shape, or form until I say so," Freya interrupted, her voice dropping into a bone-chilling whisper. "And anyone who dares to disobey will be turned into fertilizer for the garden plants. Am I clear?"
Allen's eyes widened, the absolute authority in her tone forcing his feline instincts to submit instantly. "Yes, my lady," he replied, bowing his head deeply.
"Ottar, pick me up. I am tired of standing," Freya commanded smoothly.
Without a single word, the towering Boar approached his goddess. He carefully lifted her up, letting her sit comfortably across his shoulders.
Then, without another word, the entire Freya Familia turned on their heels and began to march away, leaving everyone behind to watch their sudden retreat in utter disbelief.
Only a few seconds passed, but it could have easily been an hour. The entire street remained entirely frozen in disbelief, staring at the path where Freya had just departed, utterly unable to comprehend how it had all ended like this.
Then, reality finally clicked. If Freya had retreated... what happened to the Lover of Hestia?
With a sound like rusty metal grinding, every stiff neck in the avenue snapped back toward the center. The remaining dome of smoke completely dissolved, finally revealing the figure everyone had been hunting.
Luki Bryan stood completely straight, his hands casually resting on his hips as if it were just any ordinary Monday. By the look on his face, he wasn't under the influence of Freya's charm at all.
"See you later... you crazy bitch," he muttered under his breath.
He lazily spun around on his heels and began to walk in the opposite direction, looking completely unbothered.
"Luki-kun!" Ryuu cried out, rushing toward him in pure panic.
"Oh, hey Ryuu. Thanks fo-"
Before he could finish, Ryuu was all over him. She frantically checked him from every angle, pulling his shoulders and turning him around to make sure he was intact. Once she was thoroughly satisfied that absolutely nothing was wrong with him, she let out a massive sigh of relief.
Then, without a second thought, she threw herself forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him in a desperate embrace.
"Thank the gods you are alright... I feared that..." she whispered, her voice cracking slightly under the weight of her raw emotion, though she didn't cry.
"Nah, relax. It looks like I'm pretty much immune to that stuff," Luki said casually, returning her hug without hesitation.
'Wait... aren't DanMachi elves supposed to have a massive aversion to physical touch like this?' Luki thought, a slight smirk playing on his mind. 'Sweet. Looks like she actually likes me... not romantically, of course, considering she probably views me as a kid.'
"It is good to know that I was right in the end," Ouranos rumbled, slowly approaching the pair.
"You gave us a massive scare just now, brat," Loki huffed, stepping up beside him. "Now I finally understand why Hestia was so damn worried about you."
"I, on the other hand, wasn't worried for a single second, believe it!" Hermes chimed in with a wink.
Hearing the voices right behind them, Ryuu's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. She instantly broke the embrace, stepping back in a scramble as she frantically began to straighten her rumpled clothes. The deep flush creeping up her cheeks was hidden only by the green mask covering the lower half of her face.
"Heh..." Luki let out a soft chuckle, watching Ryuu's flustered behavior with quiet amusement.
He then turned his full attention back to the three deities standing before him.
"I think I haven't officially said it yet, but thanks for taking care of my body while I was... unavailable," Luki said casually, stretching out his arm and extending a closed fist for a knuckles-bump.
The gods stared at his hand in mild surprise, absolutely not expecting this kind of informal behavior after such a city-ending crisis. However, Loki and Hermes quickly shrugged and raised their fists to meet his, while Ouranos simply remained stoic and unmoving.
"There's no need for that. We didn't really do anything," Loki muttered, rolling her eyes. "In the end, you saved yourself... again."
The last word was almost completely inaudible, dripping with a clear undertone of frustration. She was deeply annoyed with herself for failing to keep her promise to Hestia once more. Even though, just like last time, nothing terrible had ultimately happened to him, she also wasn't the reason everything turned out fine.
Fuck, she had been completely incapacitated right from the start by a simple psychological backlash.
"You really don't have to thank us," Hermes chimed in with a bright grin. "No, wait. Actually, if you truly want to thank me, you could always do it by joining my Familia! We have cake... and I could easily make you my Captain without much trouble."
Eyes widened instantly across the pavement. Asfi snapped her head toward her god in sheer disbelief before quickly looking away, letting out a defeated sigh as if she were completely used to his nonsense. Meanwhile, both Ouranos and Loki were caught thoroughly off guard by Hermes's sudden, shameless initiative.
"What?" Hermes asked, looking entirely innocent. "Luki-kun can't just wander around without a Familia, and I think he and I have plenty of compatibility."
To prove his point, Hermes casually lifted one foot into the air, briefly revealing a pair of ethereal wings on where his ankle should be, that flapped once before vanishing.
"Oh, you have a pair too. Neat," Luki noted, staring at the footwear. "Could you help me out with mine later? I still haven't figured out how to use them properly."
"Oh, absolutely! We are going to see a lot of each other from now on anyway, so it's no trouble at all," Hermes said cheerfully, giving Luki a playful nudge on the shoulder.
"Hey! Aren't you two acting a bit too friendly over there?!" Loki shrieked, stomping her foot as she aggressively wedged herself into the conversation. "Luki-kun is coming straight to my Familia! I promised Hestia that I would take care of him!"
"Oh, come on, Loki, there is no need for all that drama, you are already the second most... no, wait. With Ouranos back, you are the third strongest on the podium now. Don't be greedy. Not to mention, you've already proven to be pretty incompetent at this guarding job more than once."
"And you think you can do any better, you piece of garbage mailman?!" Loki snapped, her forehead veins bulging dangerously.
"Without a doubt," Hermes declared proudly, puffing out his chest. "Not only are our essences remarkably similar—almost like father and son, or perhaps brothers—but I am also constantly wandering around the world, completely away from Orario's annoying politics. I see the best views Genkai has to offer. It's everything Luki-kun needs right now."
"Essence... father and son...?" Luki murmured under his breath, raising an eyebrow at Hermes's rather exotic choice of words.
"Hermes, although the undeniable resemblance between the two of you is striking, you do not know the full story," Ouranos intervened, his deep, authoritative voice slicing through the bickering. "The absolute best option for his safety remains my Familia."
"Oh, don't you start, old fossil!" Loki yelled, turning her wrath on the leader of the Guild. "Do you think you can just step out of your hole and take the front row seat immediately?! Since when did my Familia become such a pushover that you all just ignore my words?! What am I, comic relief now?!"
And just like that, the chaotic debate over Luki's custody started all over again.
Luki and Ryuu exchanged a brief glance of sheer exhaustion. The two stared at each other for a long second, nodding in perfect unison before shrugging. Gods...
"Guys," Luki called out, trying to cut through the noise.
"Joining my Familia is the only logical choice," Ouranos argued smoothly, completely ignoring him. "We have the absolute backing of the Guild and a secure infrastructure that no deity would ever dare to assault."
"Oh, please! That sounds like a prison!" Hermes chimed in defensively. "My children travel the entire world, learning ancient secrets and bypassing borders without restrictions. With us, he will have the ultimate freedom to develop his unique magic away from Orario's prying eyes!"
"Don't listen to these two frauds, kid!" Loki yelled, stepping forward. "My core executives are literally your close friends! We have the best tactical minds, the deepest pockets in the entertainment district, and we actually know how to throw a proper party!"
"Hey. Guys," Luki tried again, his voice entirely flat.
"Freedom? You mean running errands across Genkai like an underpaid delivery boy, Hermes!" Loki barked, instantly pivoting to attack him. "And don't get me started on you, old man! Your Captain just dropped out of nowhere with no credibility or reputation to speak of, who can guarantee there isn't a toxic environment in there?"
"My methods ensure stability, Loki," Ouranos countered coldly. "Your Familia, on the other hand, allowed a threat to waltz straight into your front yard and compromise the target within five minutes. Your security is an absolute joke."
"Hey! That hag shaked my brain! It wasn't a fair-"
"Guys!" Luki shouted, raising his voice just enough to snap the tension.
All three deities instantly froze, their heads turning in unison to look back at him.
Luki sighed, slipping his hands back into his pockets as he offered them a calm, unapologetic look. "Uhm... I'm really sorry to ruin your little party here, but I already have a Familia in mind."
"Oh... right. I guess we forgot to ask you first, you and Hesti must have decided it beforehand" Hermes murmured, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.
Loki scratched her cheek, looking slightly embarrassed for jumping the gun so aggressively, while Ouranos remained entirely unfazed.
"And who would this deity be?" Ouranos inquired calmly. "Depending on who it is, I may need to have a serious word with them."
"Can't we literally do this another time?" Luki groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. "I just woke up after having my soul run over by a bullet train fueled by weed. Then all this shit happened while I was unconscious, and right after that, I had to survive a high-stakes conversation with the most unpredictable goddess in town. I just want to rest."
"I am sorry for your predicament. Your life is truly a chaos..." Ouranos rumbled, placing a subtle, heavy emphasis on that last word—a detail that completely flew over everyone else's heads. "However, this is a matter that must be settled right now."
Luki let out a defeated sigh, knowing he wasn't going to win an argument against the old fossil.
"Can we at least go to the Hostess of Fertility?" Luki gestured around with his index finger. "I think this kind of conversation would be better handled in a private room."
The three deities followed his finger and finally took a proper look at their surroundings. He was right; every single person left in the street was shamelessly eavesdropping on them.
"What are you all still doing here?!" Ouranos roared suddenly, his deep voice booming across the avenue like a violent crack of thunder. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!"
"Right away, chief!" a god squeaked from a roof, nearly tripping over his own robes. "Don't mind me, I was just leaving!"
"Moving, moving! Out of the way!"
The remaining deities practically fled with their tails between their legs, dragging their frantic Familias right behind them. Now that Ouranos had formally thrown his weight around, there was absolutely no room for small fry in this game. It was much better to retreat before the old king changed his mind and decided to exile someone.
"Hephaestus, Miach, Takemikazuchi and Ganesha, you may stay. You deserve to be a part of this conversation."
The four named deities stepped out from their respective covers, approaching the central group. Hephaestus, Miach and Takemikazuchi looked immensely relieved to see the boy safe, and Gansha standing tall in his elaborate elephant mask, slammed his fist against his chest.
"I am Ganesha! And of course, the God of the Masses will gladly join this private council!" he declared boisterously, though he kept his volume low enough not to attract the fleeing crowds.
"Let's get moving then," Luki sighed, turning his stiff neck toward the street that led to the pub. "The sooner we get inside, the sooner I can find a couch to pass out on."
...
"Groan... ugh..." Apollo groaned painfully, his face entirely swollen and burst open in several places. With blood dripping down his ruined cheeks, he was completely unrecognizable.
"This represents the ephemeral juxtaposition between cosmic arrogance and absolute failure, nya~!" Anya declared proudly. She framed the fallen god's beaten face with her hands, looking incredibly satisfied with her work. "Observe how the bruising aligns across the jaw—it is a visual metaphor for a fading glory! This is a contemporary masterpiece, I call it: Apollonius Buchacus Humiliatus, nya~ hahaha~!"
That was the very first thing everyone saw when they arrived at the premises of the pub. Alongside the broken god, there was a heavy pile of unconscious and bloody adventurers scattered across the ground. Some looked like they were missing a few limbs, but none appeared to be dead as far as Luki could see.
"What the fuck is this?" Luki muttered, his voice dead and dry.
"Oh, Luki-kun! You are back and awake, nya~!" Anya chirped excitedly, waving her hands in the air.
"We were worried after hearing Freya's voice echoing through the entire city," Lunoire added, stepping out from the tavern's entrance. "But we decided it would be better to stay here and watch over Lili for you. It's good to see everything turned out fine."
"So, what do you think of my artwork?" Anya smiled, gesturing toward the defeated deity. "This miserable gentleman came here to offer his pathetic life to us by trying to kidnap you! He didn't even know you weren't here anymore! So, I decided to give him a better purpose, nya~!"
"You should thank the gods he didn't just say screw it and release his divine power," Chloe interrupted, rolling her eyes. "Otherwise, he would have vaporized you into dust before anyone could even try to stop him."
"No way, he knows exactly what's best for him, being completely humiliated by me is way better than suffering a whole thousand years of pure boredom back in heaven, nya~!"
Luki maintained his flat, deadpan expression, completely unmoved. So much absolute garbage had happened in his life today... he wasn't about to let himself get carried away by something like this. At least, not while he was completely sober.
However, there was someone else who was far more shaken by the whole display. Ryuu was currently trying to stealthily back away from the group, desperately hoping to avoid being seen anywhere near her chaotic coworkers.
"Oh, Ryuu! You are there, nya~! Come over here and kick him too, it's super fun, nya~!" Anya cheered excitedly, waving her arms in huge, exaggerated motions while jumping up and down.
"I don't know her..." Ryuu muttered under her breath, quickly raising a hand to cover her own face in sheer embarrassment.
THWACK!
A dull, pathetic groan of pain echoed through the courtyard.
Everyone instantly snapped their heads around in surprise. They were greeted by the sight of Loki, still frozen in the follow-through pose of someone who had just aggressively kicked a soccer ball. A few feet away, Apollo was rolling across the dirt, whimpering in fresh agony.
"What?" Loki asked shrugged casually, lowering her leg. "I've always wanted to kick him. Snobby bastard."
She looked like she was about to end her sentence right there. But a sudden thought crossed her mind, and she seamlessly shifted her tone to attach a perfectly natural continuation.
"Besides, this absolute bum chased after Hestia back in the day, so it's only fair that I avenge her right now!" Loki claimed with a smug grin.
"Wait a second. What?" Luki asked, his eyes narrowing as he became deeply interested.
Everyone who knew Loki on a more intimate level instantly recognized her little manipulative games. They silently buried their faces in their hands, completely resigned but choosing not to interfere.
"Huh? Hestia never told you about her history with Apollo?" Loki asked with an incredibly exaggerated look of shock.
"Was I supposed to know?"
"As her official consort? Yes!" Loki exclaimed. "There was this one time back in Tenkai where Apollo confessed his 'eternal love' to Hestia. The shorty obviously turned him down, so just out of pure spite, he stalked her until the end of time without a single moment of rest. What was that word the mortals use... a stalker?"
Luki listened intently to her words, finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together. He slowly turned his gaze down toward the pathetic god groveling on the dirt floor.
'He must not have done anything serious... otherwise, Hephaestus and Loki would have done something way worse with this opportunity.
But he pursued Hestia in the heavens. What would have stopped him from doing the exact same thing down here on Genkai if he actually had the chance? Plus, he threatened Lili's safety. As their boyfriend, I have every right to take it out on him.'
"Hey, Anya," Luki muttered, taking slow, deliberate steps toward Apollo. "How tough is his skin?"
"The captain of his Familia was a fresh Level 4, nya~. Considering you don't have a Falna right now, it's going to be pretty hard to break through that tough shell of his," Anya explained. "Just let me handle it for—"
BOOM!
A deafening impact shattered the air.
"AAAAA!" Apollo shrieked at the top of his lungs. His body soared high into the sky, rocketing pathetically over several neighborhood blocks until he vanished from sight.
"Wow... that actually felt great. Almost like playing football," Luki said in a completely relaxed tone, still holding his follow-through kicking pose.
"Right, nya~?!" Anya cheered, stepping up beside him as the two of them casually traded a high-five.
Meanwhile, the rest of the crowd just stood there, completely dumbfounded and unsure of how to react to what they had just witnessed. Except for Loki, of course. She was laughing hysterically, clutching her stomach in pure amusement.