"Alright, I have to ask, were you an Olympic athlete before or after you were an accountant?"
I finished leveling out the fresh pile of compost I had dumped out of the wheelbarrow before turning to face Ashe, "Neither, but I'll take the compliment."
"It wasn't a compliment," Ashe muttered under her breath as she crossed her arms, "I'm genuinely trying to figure out how the hell you're still moving. As far as I know, you've never worked on a farm, and yet today you did the work of three farmhands."
Looking out across the transformed field, I took in the unbroken stretch of nearly pitch-black soil. Breaking up the hardpan went faster than Ashe had expected, so we had started wheeling out compost before the sun could bake us alive.
Which turned out to be a good thing because there were literal truckloads unload.
An industrial composting company had dumped off the shipment a few days earlier, and I meant that in the most literal sense.
The shipment was just a giant pile of dark soil dumped behind Ashe's house.
Which meant that the only way to get it to the field was to load up Ashe's truck every time we needed more compost. Which turned out to be more times than I could count.
At some point, I asked Ashe why she hadn't moved the drop-off point a little closer, only for her to tell me that all the access roads, big enough for the dump truck, were in such a poor state that if something happened, it would be considered extreme negligence legally.
It was then that I swore never to question Ashe's judgment when it came to her common sense. If she had something done, I was now 99% sure there was a damn good reason for it.
Of course, it wasn't just that lone moment that made me feel that way. No, it was spending the entire day working by her side.
Sure, I had done a majority of the physical labor, but I also had literal plot armor working in my favor.
Ashe had only grit and determination to fuel her, and those two things alone were enough to get her through the day.
"I don't just want to be a walking bank account. I've seen countless businesses fail with billions of dollars worth of investment, all because no one was willing to lay the first brick. If getting this farm back on its feet means putting in some work, that's just what needs to be done."
Ashe stared at me for a long second before pursing her lips, "Steroids?"
I gave Ashe the side eye, "I'm almost offended you asked that."
Ashe didn't react for a second before a small smile made the corners of her rose colored lips twitch, "Alright, enough fucking around, we're done here for the day. I'm about five minutes and a shot of whiskey away from passing out on my couch."
I nodded and moved to join Ashe by the truck when my phone started ringing in my pocket.
I paused, glanced at the number, then looked back up at Ashe. "Sorry, I need to take this."
Ashe scoffed, then turned around and got into the truck. "You got five minutes, after that you'll be walking back to the house yourself."
Taking Ashe's threat seriously, I quickly answered the call, "Hey, what's going on?"
"I just told Peter I wanted a divorce." Lois blurted out, leaving me stunned, "I didn't plan on doing it right when I got back, but after finding him passed out drunk on our bed, I knew I needed to end things."
"Well then, I was going to ask if you're okay, but I'm getting the feeling this wasn't a tearful breakup, at least on your part," I hedged while pacing back and forth.
"I'm not happy about it, but I'm relieved it's finally over. I'm staying at my parents' place with Chris and Stewie while I get the legal side of divorce sorted out." Lois said with a sigh, "Luckily, Peter doesn't have shit worth taking, and I'm not that much of a cold-hearted bitch to try and keep his children away from him."
"What about a lawyer? Do you need me to hire one?"
"No, my parents already got me one; they're ecstatic that I'm leaving Peter. Though I know it's only because they get to tell me I told you so for the rest of my life. But if that's the price I have to pay for all of this, so be it."
"Seems like you have everything handled and taken care of," I praised with a grin, "Looks like I'll be needing to find a bigger place sooner than I thought."
"There's really no need-"
"I wasn't asking for your permission," I interrupted Lois, my voice dropping. "Don't be afraid to ask me for anything, it's my job to provide the things you deserve."
"O-okay," Lois replied in a stunned but slightly giddy tone, "I look forward to staying over then, hopefully sometime soon?"
"Lois, baby, I couldn't stay away from that ass of yours if I tried." I laid it on thick, and I could practically hear Lois blushing, "I'll be seeing you soon, bye now."
"B-bye." Lois stammered out before I ended the call, just as Ashe honked on the horn while letting the truck roll forward to really get her point across.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming," I shook my head in disbelief, though I couldn't keep the amused smirk off my lips as I jogged over to the passenger side.
"Took you damn long enough," Ashe muttered as she put the truck in drive.
"It was less than five minutes, I didn't even-" Before I could finish my sentence, my phone started ringing again, and Ashe gave me a pointed look, "I'm not stopping the truck, either take the call here or hop out while I'm still below twenty."
I glanced at the caller ID and sighed, but still answered, "Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Someone threw a brick through our window."
I instantly sat up in my seat as my blood started to boil, "Are you and Patty alright?"
"Yeah, we were upstairs when we heard it break. We're cleaning it up now, but the whole front window is going to need replacing." Megan said before hesitating, "There was also a note attached to the brick, and truthfully, it has shaken me up a bit."
My heart pounded in my chest as my hands balled into fists, "What does it say?"
I heard Megan flip a sheet of paper before she started reading, "I told you next time it would be the stick, now get out before it's too late."
A cold chill drenched me from head to toe, "Fuck cleaning up. You and Patty need to get back upstairs and stay there until I can get back."
"Ramon, what's going on? You're starting to scare me." Megan muttered as she shifted uneasily.
"Some rich fuck just threw the first stone and thinks he can get away with it." I muttered darkly as I fought to keep my rage from boiling over, "There's probably no immediate danger, but I'm not risking anything with you and Patty in the crossfire."
"Alright, we'll go upstairs, but hurry back."
I hung up before glancing at Ashe, who beat me to the punch, "I can give you a ride, got a hint of what went down. I knew Northwest was a bastard, but this is something else. Even worse, it means he's been tracking our efforts; it's not a coincidence that he decided to do this the day you were away from the restaurant helping me out on the farm."
My anger skyrocketed to a whole other level when Ashe pointed out that little detail, "Just who the fuck does this guy think he is? And why the hell is he so dead set on getting this farm?"
"It's probably because no one has ever had the balls to tell him no before," Ashe grumbled as she shifted gears, "His family also thinks they own the entire town because they helped found it two hundred years ago."
"Great, so we're dealing with a grade A nepotistic sociopath," I grunted as Ashe pulled out onto the highway and started heading back into town.
---
I hit the ground running as I hopped out of the truck before Ashe could come to a complete stop, my heart racing with adrenaline.
The entire ride back, I had been thinking about everything that could have happened. What if, instead of a brick, it had been a bullet, or a Molotov cocktail? What if Megan or Patty had been down in the restaurant when all of it happened?
Running down the street, I glanced at the ruined restaurant front before turning down the back alley and eventually up the stairs until I was standing in front of the apartment door, knocking, "Megan Patty, it's me, open up."
Not even a second passed before Megan threw the door open, and then she threw herself at me, quickly followed by Patty right behind her.
I wrapped my arms around both of them and held them close. And while I felt some momentary relief, there was still a storm brewing in my mind.
After a life of medoricty, I would protect my paradise no matter the cost.