"Yeah, there has always been one real me," Luke said while looking at Clarice in confusion. "What exactly is there to be confused about?"
Clarice gave him a look that clearly said he was missing the obvious problem.
"The reason we're confused is because we found a doppelgänger of you," she explained. "And he was really good at acting like you."
Luke raised an eyebrow.
That immediately got his attention.
Clarice continued explaining what happened.
The group had been out shopping together when someone suddenly appeared wearing Luke's face. The appearance was perfect, the voice matched, and even the behavior was close enough that some of them almost believed it.
Almost.
The impersonator had managed to fool a few people for a short time, but the deception didn't last very long.
The biggest problem for the fake Luke was Jean.
Normally Jean couldn't read Luke's thoughts. His mind had long surpassed her ability to casually peer into it, and trying to force her way through his mental defenses would be like trying to punch through a mountain.
The fake Luke didn't have that problem.
The moment Jean touched the impostor's mind, she immediately realized something was wrong.
There was no familiar presence.
No Luke.
Without hesitation, she punched the fake in the face.
Things rapidly became worse afterward.
Esdeath arrived shortly after and apparently decided that anyone foolish enough to impersonate Luke deserved whatever happened next.
According to Clarice, the fight lasted less than a minute.
According to Esdeath, it lasted exactly as long as it needed to.
Either way, the fake Luke spent most of that time being introduced to the floor of the shopping mall at extremely high speed.
Realizing the real Luke wasn't anywhere nearby, Clarice opened a portal and started searching for him.
"And that's why I'm here," she finished.
Luke rubbed his forehead.
"Why do I feel like I already know how this ends?"
Clarice didn't answer.
Instead she opened another portal.
The moment it expanded, the sounds of the shopping mall immediately reached them.
Luke stepped closer and looked through.
What he saw made him pause.
Natasha was currently kicking the fake Luke in the face.
The concerning part wasn't the violence.
The concerning part was how satisfied she looked while doing it.
Nearby, Wanda, Jill, Alice, Selene, Jean, Esdeath, and the others stood around watching.
None of them looked particularly upset about what was happening.
In fact, several of them looked like they were enjoying it.
The fake Luke lying on the floor looked considerably worse than when Clarice left.
Luke had a growing suspicion that every woman present had used the opportunity to settle at least one personal grievance.
The portal's appearance finally attracted their attention.
The group turned toward it and immediately spotted Luke standing beside Clarice.
"Oh, Luke..." Selene said before glancing toward Jean. "Is he real?"
Jean focused on him for a moment.
Unlike the person currently lying on the floor, Luke's presence felt exactly the same as always.
A small smile appeared on her face.
"Yes," Jean said confidently. "That's Luke."
Jill, Alice, and Wanda exchanged looks.
To be honest, they were already fairly certain.
The expression on his face alone was enough evidence.
Only the real Luke could look simultaneously annoyed, confused, and disappointed by a situation involving someone impersonating him.
Luke stepped through the portal while holding his forehead.
The fake Luke immediately looked relieved.
That relief vanished when he realized the real Luke wasn't there to rescue him.
Luke glanced at the bruised Skrull and then at the women surrounding him.
Judging by the damage, the interrogation had been less of an interrogation and more of a group activity.
Before he could comment, another figure stepped through the portal.
Nick Fury.
Natasha's attention immediately shifted.
She stopped moving and looked him over from head to toe.
"Oh," Natasha said. "Fury, you look terrible."
Meanwhile, Tauriel stood slightly apart from the group, quietly observing everything with an amused smile.
Compared to the world she originally came from, this place was absolute madness.
Alien invasions, artificial intelligence, magic, super soldiers, dimensional travelers, and shape-shifting aliens pretending to be Luke.
A normal person would have considered all of this exhausting.
Yet somehow she had grown fond of it.
She had long since abandoned the idea of returning home.
Everyone she cared about was here now, and despite the constant chaos, she genuinely enjoyed being with them.
Watching the group gather around the portal while the fake Luke remained half-buried in a broken section of floor, Tauriel couldn't help finding the entire scene strangely comforting.
For them, this wasn't even considered an unusual day anymore.
Luke looked at the battered Skrull lying in the middle of the damaged floor and let out a long sigh.
The poor idiot had clearly suffered. Not enough to earn sympathy, but enough to make Luke wonder what series of bad decisions led here.
"You really did a number on this one," Luke said, looking around at the women nearby.
Nobody looked particularly guilty.
Luke's attention returned to the fake version of himself.
"Really?" he said, shaking his head. "Out of every face you could have chosen, you picked mine?"
The Skrull said nothing.
Luke crouched and looked directly into its eyes. "Did your species collectively lose the ability to make good decisions?"
Still nothing.
He stood back up and waved his hand. The Skrull disappeared without sound, without drama, without a trace.
Before anyone could speak Fury stepped forward.
"Natasha, I need your help dealing with an alien invasion."
Natasha looked at him. Then away. Then back at him again, the entire process conveying disappointment without a single word.
"No," she said. "I'm on break."
"Break?" The word sounded foreign coming from Fury. "Since when?"
"Since last week," Natasha said. "I gave you my resignation."
*****
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