"Wrong," Rampage said, her voice sharp but not unkind. "I estimate my limits very accurately."
Kamizuru sighed, biting into a vegetable stick. That was the problem. Rampage wasn't reckless out of ignorance; she was reckless with intent. She knew exactly where the cliff was, and she chose to drive right up to the edge, flooring the accelerator until the very last second.
"What are you after? Are you just addicted to the thrill of seeing if you'll shatter?"
"Of course not. I just…"
She trailed off. The words died in her throat.
I know you're trying to live every moment to the fullest for the 'other' Rampage's sake.
The Goddess's words echoed in her mind. Was she really carrying that much weight? Was she so obsessed with "repaying" the life she had inherited that she had forgotten how to value it?
"I do what is necessary," she said finally. "For the sake of the things I want to see."
Everything she did—pushing Brian and Hayahide, watching Suzuka take on the world, guiding the girls of Pleiades—was fueled by a desire to see those dreams manifest. If she could help them reach the summit, then the life she was living "in her stead" would have meaning. She had finally found the language to describe her own drive, thanks to the words of a Goddess.
"Then you have to value yourself more," Kamizuru said firmly. "If you break, the girls in Pleiades won't just be sad—they'll blame themselves. They'll think they were so pathetic and incompetent that their trainer had to kill herself just to keep them afloat. A world-class trainer manages themselves as well as their athletes. Look at Ohana-san—she leads the best team in the country, but she knows when to step back. Or, if you need a closer example… think about Minamisaka-san."
Rampage winced. "Bringing up Minami-chan? You're getting mean, Kamizuru. You're starting to figure out exactly how to push my buttons."
"I had his permission to use his name," Kamizuru said with a small smirk.
Rampage leaned back, thinking of the day she won the Japan Cup. She remembered Minamisaka telling her that he wanted to "dream with her."
If she continued like this, would she be able to look Trainer Sakahara in the eye when Maya became a star? Would she be able to stand beside Air Groove when she finally reached her peak? Or would she be watching from a hospital bed—or worse?
"The girls in Pleiades want to win with you," Kamizuru continued. "They want to share that dream. Are you really going to ignore that?"
"...That's a low blow."
Rampage finally saw the flaw in her logic. She had been satisfied just watching the dreams come true, assuming her own presence at the finish line was optional. She had thought that as long as the goal was reached, it didn't matter if she was reduced to cinders in the process. She realized now how incredibly selfish that was.
"Heh… it's almost funny," Rampage muttered, staring into her glass. "I thought I was being selfless, but I was just forcing my own vision on everyone. I told everyone I wanted to live long enough to die of old age… but I guess to everyone else, it looked like I was trying to commit suicide by overwork."
"You're so efficient at what you do that people let it slide, but honestly? You're like a poster child for a black-company corporate slave."
Rampage drained her glass in one go. Then, to Kamizuru's surprise, she stood up and put the bottle away. She sat back down and began focusing purely on the food.
"What's this? Giving up the ghost already?"
"Too much alcohol is bad for the health," she grunted. "Even for me, moderation is a necessary evil… Thanks, Kamizuru."
"Don't thank me. I just want to be on a winning team, and I can't do that if the boss is in the dirt."
"Is that so? Then maybe I'll take you out on a date sometime to pay you back. I'll even show you my 'feminine side.' How's that sound?"
Kamizuru snorted. "The way you say that makes it sound like you aren't even a girl right now."
"Well," Rampage grinned, her old spark returning. "You'd be hard-pressed to find another horse girl as unladylike as me."
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