Nonchalance became my coping mechanism.
I thought, if I didn't care for anything and anyone, maybe opinions would no longer matter, and I succeeded. No matter how people scorned at me and talked behind my back from middle school to high school, I did not care.
It was as if I had built a shield around me and that stopped me from socializing or making friends. I chased everyone away.
And that was all, so I could no longer feel the tormenting emotions I got from my mother's glaring gaze, but it didn't work as well as I wished it to.
She still haunted me with even a slight movement of discomfort around me, and the way her lips twisted like she was about to spit out something bad she had eaten.
At some point, I seemed to have gotten mute as well.
But seeing how nothing worked to keep away my mother's disdain, I decided not to focus on her any longer and live for myself.
