The afternoon sun poured through the tall classroom windows, painting uneven rectangles of light across the polished floor. The fan in the corner hummed lazily, struggling to push the heavy, humid air around. Students had begun to slump into that post-lunch daze heads propped on hands, pens dragging across notebooks with the slow determination of people who just wanted the day to end.
Rhaine sat rigid in her seat, the edge of her pen tapping out a steady rhythm against her notebook. Tap. Tap. Tap. A beat for each thought she was trying to suppress.
She didn't even realize she was staring until her pen stilled.
Two rows ahead, Sam was leaning forward over her desk, hair slipping loose from her ponytail as she scribbled notes. The sunlight caught in the strands, making them glow. When she reached up to tuck a piece behind her ear, Rhaine's eyes followed the movement automatically, and for a split second, she forgot to breathe.
It was such an ordinary thing. A hundred people probably saw the same motion every day and thought nothing of it. But for Rhaine, it was like her chest was being squeezed in slow motion.
Why am I even noticing that? she thought bitterly. It's not
"Psst."
Rhaine jumped when Maya slid into the chair beside her, flashing a grin that suggested she'd been watching her for a while. "You're zoning out again," she whispered. "What's in your head this time? Cute dog videos? Or is it" she leaned slightly closer " a certain someone?"
Rhaine frowned and glanced back at her notes, scribbling a word she didn't even bother reading. "None of your business."
Maya smirked. "Ooh, defensive. That means I'm close."
From the desk behind, Eli leaned forward, resting his chin on his arms. "Is this about Sam?"
The pen in Rhaine's hand froze mid-stroke. "What? No!" The words came out too sharp, too fast.
Maya's smirk widened. "Right, and I only use my phone for studying."
"I mean it," Rhaine said, trying to keep her voice even. "We just talk sometimes. That's it. She's like that with everyone."
"Mm-hmm," Eli said, unconvinced.
Rhaine clenched her jaw, willing her pulse to slow. She wasn't about to tell them about the way her heart seemed to falter every time Sam laughed. Or about how she'd been hyperaware of the exact distance between their shoulders during group work. Or about that stupid, electric moment the other day when their fingers brushed over the same worksheet and she'd felt like the air had been knocked out of her.
She wasn't about to admit that she'd replayed that moment in her head later that night.
Because it wasn't like that. It couldn't be like that. She wasn't
I'm not that.
---
By the time the last bell rang, Rhaine had managed to collect herself. Or at least shove the worst of her thoughts into a locked corner of her brain.
She, Maya, and Eli made their way toward the school courtyard. The air outside was heavy with the scent of rain even though the sky was still bright. Maya was talking about some upcoming student council event, Eli was joking about attending only for the free snacks, and Rhaine was half-listening half counting the steps to the gate when she heard someone call her name.
"Rhaine!"
She turned.
Sam was jogging toward them, her white sneakers scuffing the pavement, her ponytail bouncing with each step. There was an easy smile on her face, the kind that always made Rhaine's chest feel uncomfortably warm.
"You left your book in class," Sam said, holding it out.
"Oh thanks." Rhaine reached for it, deliberately aiming for the edge to avoid touching her fingers, but Sam shifted the book at the last second and their hands brushed anyway.
It was a light, fleeting touch. Barely there. But Rhaine felt it all the way up her arm, like static clinging to her skin.
"No problem," Sam said, her gaze lingering for a heartbeat longer than it needed to. Then she waved at all three of them and left.
The silence that followed was immediate and loaded.
Maya arched a brow. "Not close, huh?"
Rhaine rolled her eyes and started walking again. "Drop it."
---
That night, Rhaine sat at her desk, her room bathed in the soft glow of her study lamp. The open textbook in front of her might as well have been blank for all the good it was doing. Her pen hovered over the page, unmoving.
Every time she tried to focus, her brain supplied something else: the way Sam's voice dipped when she said her name, the little dimple that appeared when she smiled, the warmth of that accidental brush of fingers.
It was ridiculous. Sam was just… nice. Friendly. Warm. She treated everyone the same way.
And yet
Rhaine dropped her pen and rubbed her eyes. No. I can't think like this.
She'd promised herself a long time ago that she wasn't going to be one of those people. She wasn't going to like girls. She wasn't going to deal with the whispers, the awkward looks, the possible disappointment from her parents.
Growing up, she'd learned early that in her family, love was a straight road: boy meets girl, girl meets boy, and anything else was something you didn't talk about. The one time she'd overheard a relative mention someone "like that," it hadn't been in a kind tone.
So whenever her chest tightened around a girl, she learned to rename it. Admiration. Respect. Friendship. Anything but what it actually was.
But Sam made that renaming harder than it had ever been.
Because it wasn't just a heartbeat skip or a lingering glance it was the way she made Rhaine feel seen. Like she mattered. Like she wasn't just background noise in a crowded world.
And Rhaine hated that part of her wanted more of it.
She hated it because wanting meant admitting. And admitting meant changing something about herself that she'd spent years convincing herself she wasn't.
Her phone buzzed, breaking her spiral.
Maya: Sooo… when are you going to admit you have a crush on her?
Rhaine stared at the message for a long moment before typing back.
Rhaine: Never. Because I don't.
The dots appeared, disappeared, and then nothing.
She set her phone down, but the weight in her chest didn't ease. Saying it typing itdidn't make it true.
And the worst part was, she knew it never would.