Heavy…
When was the last time the Rat Kid felt the discomfort of his precious sleep being interrupted by the sensation of being crushed and restrained?
Ah, right. It was the day before we set out to find Auntie.
Simpler times, when the Rat Kid only had to worry about when and how to let Louise rejoice with my body.
Back when I didn't have to worry about shitty octopuses falling from the sky, shitty cats chasing me everywhere, or shitty 4-meter tall orcs with questionable sexual tastes.
[Screw this damn apocalypse…] I mutter barely, my throat dry as sandpaper, as I manage to open my eyes.
Goddamn shitty apocalypse. Why can't you be like a modern apocalypse? With blackjack and hookers.
I ignore the pain drilling into my ribs with every breath and look down at my chest. I'm hoping I haven't lost consciousness only to wake up in the arms of some muscled beast in a loincloth.
Luckily, although I don't see a naked beauty proclaiming me her king, at least it's not a smelly monster either.
Instead, two pairs of glassy eyes stare at me, their owners clinging to my chest.
For a second, I didn't recognize them. First of all, they were never ugly like their male counterparts. No wrinkles all over their bodies, no skin rough like sandpaper.
They were always closer to little girls doing a cosplay with painted skin, long ears, and bald heads.
But now, I don't know what to say.
Their previously grayish skin is now a smooth, pale pearlescent green; there is some kind of crimson pattern on their faces, different for each of them.
Their eyes, once a simple brown with horizontal pupils, are now a reddish multicolored mix with round pupils.
One of them has a strange gem in the center of her forehead, while the other grew small horns on her head.
And for some reason, now both have hair… They are redheads…
""Griii!""
The goblins bury their heads in my chest and start to cry.
[…Whatever…] I say, and start comforting them. The Rat Kid doesn't care about small details.
The only thing that matters is that I woke up with a flower in each hand and not in the arms of a muscular orc.
The goblins' transformation? Why am I lying on weeds and covered in leaves that seem to be taking root in my body?
The Rat Kid doesn't give a loli-sized dick about it.
While I was debating whether to go back to sleep to see if this damn pain would go away when I woke up…
Hurried footsteps are heard from the hallway.
Excellent. If it's a woman, she can give me a sweet awakening. If it's a man, he can go to hell.
[[…]]
Luckily, they were women. Specifically Auntie and Carla, although I hear more steps rushing in.
[Bitches, how long does the Rat Kid have to wait for his morning quickie? What is the use of having you?]
Do you feel no pity for the suffering me?
[[ASTRAD!]]
Before I can fully complain, the bitches start throwing themselves at me.
[GYAAAA, IT HURTS, DAMMIT!] I complain, but I only get squeezed tighter.
Soon, others arrive and also ignore my complaints, hugging me. Can you hear me? Why do I feel like I've already suffered this torment?
.......
[TWO DAYS UNCONSCIOUS?] I startle at the explanation from Auntie and the others.
[That explains why I'm starving to death. Bitch, go make me a sandwich. Double cheese. Chop chop.]
I deserve it.
[Obviously, he is fully recovered.]
[It hurts, it hurts, it hurts] I complain when Auntie pulls my cheek. Where did the love from a few minutes ago go?
[Boy, let me ask you, what is the last thing you remember?] At the receptionist bitch's question, everyone looks at me cautiously.
[The Rat Kid was about to be slammed into the ground. My last wish was to be reborn as a banana tree, so that even after death, everyone could keep peeling it.]
Today and always, that is the Rat Kid's last wish.
[I didn't ask you that.]
The receptionist bitch says with cold eyes, and the others also look at me with a mix of disdain and disgust.
I don't know what's going on, but hate me more. GYAHAHAHA.
[Cohou… cohou… Laughing, bad…]
Even internally…
[[[[…]]]]
Great, teary eyes again.
[The Rat Kid is fine, don't look at me like that] I say as I lean back on the weird weeds that took root in my body.
[Ahh, anyway, it's as I thought. You must be wondering what happened next] the receptionist bitch has very good social instincts and continues the conversation.
[Not really] I appreciate her help, but I can't lie, I don't give a shit.
I won, he lost, end of story. Let's skip to the rewards screen.
That's me, the Rat Kid, big and powerful.
[…So, you must be wondering what that plant sticking to you is, and about the goblins' new appearance.]
[Not at all, no. The Rat Kid is only wondering when his sandwich is coming.]
[…Brat, has anyone ever told you that you're a goddamn charm?]
[Every day of my life. Kekeke.]
[Imbecile, I'm going to…]
[Stop her.]
The receptionist bitch tries to lunge at me but is quickly stopped by Auntie and Jennifer.
[GYAHAHAHA! COHOU! GYAHAHA! COHOU! COHOU!] Laughing hurts, but it is a sacrifice the Rat Kid is willing to make.
But it does hurt like hell…
[Hm?]
While calculating if I would make it alive to lunch, a strange heat spreads from my stomach.
When I look down, the two goblins have their hands on my stomach. A faint glow appears on their palms, while their expressions turn severe as if they were trying their hardest.
The one with the little horns emits a pale green light and the plants attached to me react, crawling under my skin like worms digging underground.
Soon, a strange sensation of relief, similar to Kiti's ointment, invades me as my body goes numb.
Almost at the same time, the reddish light emanating from the other goblin's arm penetrates my body.
Although I don't know how to explain it. It feels like someone is sticking their hands inside me and forcing the pieces back into place.
I even think I heard some unpleasant sounds in there.
It was all pretty fantasy-like, but it didn't last long.
Soon, the lights went out and the sweaty girls lay on my lap, exhausted.
[The Rat Kid… has reconsidered…] In the end, maybe I do want to know why I'm a walking bush now.
You're not going to tell me my life now depends on being plugged into a log, right? Even if my body can handle it, my heart can't.
How would that conversation go?
"Hi, I'm the Rat Kid and I'm alive because I plugged myself into a log."
Sounds bad, no matter how I say it.
No matter how much "no homo" I say, it will never be enough.
[Rat Leader, I heard you didn't die. How am I going to claim your loot set now?] Just when things were starting to get sketchy, 9's familiar voice takes over the room.
[9, you're still alive? From what I see, you were able to communicate with the network.]
[Gihihi! Obviously. Who do you think I am?]
9 approaches with a smug smile. Now that I think about it, is there electricity?
[We moved to a nearby hotel. We didn't want to move you too much, but we couldn't stay in that precarious place either, right?]
I nod in agreement.
[Report] I ask, and 9 sits next to me showing me her tablet.
In the video, it's me, apparently beheading the orc boss along with the cat. I don't remember any of that.
[A berserker mode?] I ask while watching myself in the recording. It's either that or I activated a very hardcore cheat code.
[We all think so. It goes far beyond that strange switch you've always had. This is a true physical manifestation. Your body going beyond human.]
I nod at 9's assessment.
[Combined with the other traits you've been manifesting and some phenomena the boys also seem to be experiencing, everything points to humans also being able to develop magic or, at least, special abilities.] 9 concludes.
[Is that some kind of mana stone?] I ask, zooming in on the ruby in the tiger's mouth… Did he eat it?
[We think so. I got some fragments, we need to analyze them. It's possible they are related to these girls' mutation] 9 points to the goblins on my lap [but it's too confusing. They didn't even touch the gem directly and, although the red energy exploded when it broke, it had also manifested long before that.]
[Tsk. That imbecile 11 hasn't reported in] I complain.
Rat Kid 11 is the one who could handle this… I wonder if Kiti can too.
[We are already on it…]
My conversation with 9 is interrupted by the sharp screech of a chair being dragged against the floor.
[Hmph] When I look up confused, Carla, who had stood up abruptly from the chair, has her cheeks puffed out like an angry pufferfish.
The rest of the girls have similar expressions.
[I see you are busy talking to more important people. I won't be the third wheel. HMPH.]
[[[[HMPH.]]]]
They threw a goddamn tantrum on me.
[BRING ME MY FUCKING SAAAAANDWICH!] I demand of the girls who left the room.
[[[[WE WON'T DO IT!]]]]
[They will definitely bring it to me. Kekeke.]
[Just so you know, Louise asked me to be a snitch.]
[…But you won't betray me… right?]
[Obviously I will betray you. It is my duty; my identity is at stake here. And I already accepted the payment.]
Son of a…
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