Chapter 146: Chuck: I'm rich!
New Year's Eve of 1992 arrived.
The apartment party was in the evening.
It was afternoon.
"Chandler, it's time you snapped out of it,"
Monica advised. "You're not Mr. Heckles!"
"I am!"
Chandler slumped on the sofa, feeling sorry for himself and lifeless.
"Chuck's coming over later."
Monica gave him a sympathetic look, making a final effort.
"Oh, please!"
Chandler grumbled. "You think your displays of affection can cheer me up when I'm like this? Nothing can cheer me up! I'm going to die alone!"
"..."
Monica's mouth twitched. Seeing Chandler seem unmoved by her attempt at encouragement, she didn't bother to say anything more.
She'd done her best.
Knock knock.
Knock knock. Knock knock.
Knock knock.
There was a knock on the door.
Monica hurried to open it, looking at Chuck at the door and giving him a helpless look. "Chuck, you're here."
"I am,"
Chuck nodded.
"Ha, your boyfriend's here!"
Chandler teased. "Show-offs!"
"Show off what?"
Monica said, feeling a bit guilty.
"Show off your relationship,"
Chandler said self-deprecatingly. "Flaunting it in front of a single guy like me, destined to live a lonely life."
"You think I don't want to."
Monica breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Chandler wasn't referring to Chuck's earlier psychological analysis. Thinking that Chuck wouldn't be at the party tonight to kiss her at midnight, she complained a bit.
"Don't worry, Chandler, I'll always be there for you,"
Joey said, his brotherly affection radiating warmth.
"...Okay."
Chandler looked at Joey, whose expression was unusually animated today, a bit uncomfortably, but he still accepted the offer.
"Me too,"
Phoebe said, raising her hand and smiling.
"That's sweet."
Seeing Phoebe looking normal, Chandler smiled at her. "Phoebe, how about we make a pact? If we're both single when we're forty, we get together?"
"Sorry, Phoebe and I already made that pact,"
Joey said, his voice heavy with mock sorrow, putting his arm around Chandler's shoulders.
"Actually, I wouldn't mind having two pacts,"
Phoebe said with a grin.
"..."
Chandler's lips twitched, and he groaned, "Great! A nightmare first half of my life, coupled with a nightmare future. Perfect!"
Under Monica's accusatory gaze, Phoebe remembered Chandler's frequent retelling of the famous Thanksgiving scene where his parents fought and announced their divorce. Her pact joke was too similar to that traumatic memory, and she couldn't help but laugh and stick out her tongue apologetically.
Just then, there was a knocking sound from the floor below.
Chandler froze, listened intently, then glanced downstairs. He said nervously, "Did you hear that?"
"What?"
Everyone was puzzled. Joey's expression was exaggerated, Monica looked confused, and Phoebe grinned.
"Mr. Heckles is knocking."
Chandler glanced around, his gaze finally landing on the expressionless Chuck. "Did you hear that?"
"Yes,"
Chuck nodded.
"Stop messing with him, Chuck."
Joey's eyes widened, glaring at Chuck disapprovingly. "He's already fragile, he can't take much more."
Just then, the knocking began again downstairs.
Seeing Joey and the others still unresponsive, Chandler jumped up, waving his arms frantically. "Didn't you hear that?!"
"Oh yes, I heard it,"
Joey said, winking at Monica and Phoebe behind Chandler's back.
"Yeah, I heard it,"
Phoebe nodded immediately.
"...OMG!"
Chandler's scalp tingled. Was he the only one who heard it...
"You really didn't hear it?"
Chandler made a final effort, staring at them desperately.
"Oh yes, I heard it,"
Joey nodded, still overacting.
"OMG!"
Chandler, panicked, laughed bitterly at himself. "Am I really hearing things? Could it be that I've been obsessing over this so much lately that I've actually summoned Mr. Heckles back?"
"That's possible,"
Phoebe said, dropping the pretense. "You know I can always sense spiritual energy. I've been feeling something around Chandler these past few days."
"Maybe we should check it out?"
Monica looked at Chandler sympathetically.
"Fine,"
Chandler said resignedly. "If he's here to take me, then I guess I'll find out sooner rather than later."
Everyone accompanied Chandler downstairs and reached Mr. Heckles's door. The closed door suddenly opened on its own, and a familiar figure stood in the distance, holding a mop, looking over with an expressionless face.
"Holy crap!"
Chandler nearly jumped out of his skin, leaping into Joey's arms like a scared cat. "Did you see that?"
"Yes, I saw it. The door just opened by itself,"
Phoebe laughed, "Amazing."
"It's not just the door, it's Mr. Heckles!"
Chandler clung to Joey and pointed frantically at the figure in white. Standing so far away, the figure had somehow opened the door, seemingly invisible to the others. More importantly, the face looked exactly like Mr. Heckles's. What else could it be but Mr. Heckles's ghost?
"Chandler, this isn't funny."
Joey held Chandler awkwardly, struggling with the unexpected physical comedy of the situation.
"It's real!"
Chandler shivered, yet he couldn't help but laugh nervously. "I'm about to wet myself! Don't tell me you can't see him."
"...Dude, I'm trying really hard not to think about that."
Even Joey, a professional actor, couldn't maintain his composure under the strange looks from everyone. He could only force himself to look away, silently reciting 'method acting,' and slightly shifted Chandler away from him, winking at Phoebe for help.
"Chandler, are you sure you saw Mr. Heckles?"
Phoebe laughed. "If that's the case, then why don't you ask him what he wants? Maybe he'll find peace after you talk to him."
"Right, right, right,"
Chandler nodded repeatedly. He put his arm around Joey's neck and asked Joey to turn him around to face the figure inside the apartment. "Mr. Heckles, is that you?"
"No,"
the figure in white said expressionlessly.
"Then who are you?"
Chandler was stunned.
"I'm Chandler!"
the figure in white said seriously.
"You're not Chandler!"
Chandler was getting frantic.
"I could be Chandler!"
the figure in white retorted calmly.
"OMG!"
Chandler was now completely convinced that the figure in white was Mr. Heckles's ghost, because the original Mr. Heckles was just such a stubborn contrarian.
"What do you want?"
"I want you!"
The ghost, who looked exactly like Mr. Heckles, spoke in the same monotone as Mr. Heckles.
"Sorry, I'm already taken."
Even at this point, Chandler still didn't forget to be humorous. He put his arm around Joey's neck and pressed his face against Joey's cheek.
"That doesn't matter!"
said the ghost who seemed to be Mr. Heckles. "To be more precise, I want to become you."
"Why?"
Chandler exclaimed in confusion.
"You said it yourself,"
the ghost resembling Mr. Heckles said calmly. "I'm your future self, and your future is me. You've been saying it so often that I've sensed it. I can indeed become you. I used to think there wasn't much difference between being alive and being dead, but now I think it would be nice to come back."
"No, no!"
Chandler cried. "I'm not you! You're not me! I was just talking!"
"You weren't just talking,"
the ghost resembling Mr. Heckles said. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."
"I was wrong,"
Chandler cried, eyes squeezed shut. "I didn't mean it. It's just that I'm having a rough time. You know, guys have those periods when they're feeling down, and with your sudden death, that's why I was complaining!"
"What the hell is 'feeling down'? Even ghosts don't experience mood swings,"
the ghost resembling Mr. Heckles complained.
"Well now you've seen it,"
Chandler shouted. "If you don't believe me, ask Chuck! He's a professional! If you need therapy, go to him!"
"Do men really have mood cycles?"
the ghost resembling Mr. Heckles looked at Chuck.
"Yes,"
Chuck nodded.
"See, he said it..."
Chandler said this, suddenly sensing something was wrong. He opened his eyes and looked at Chuck. "Can you really see Mr. Heckles's ghost?"
"I told you I could. I arranged for him to come,"
Chuck said seriously.
Phoebe burst out laughing.
"You all knew!"
Chandler suddenly realized.
"Okay, Chandler's figured it out."
Monica couldn't bear it any longer and quickly tried to smooth things over. "Chandler, this is Mr. Heckles's brother from New Mexico. Chuck saw you've been feeling down lately, so he paid for Mr. Heckles's brother to come over... to help you work through your issues. He spent a lot of money on it, so don't be mad."
"My acting was pretty good, wasn't it?"
Joey said proudly.
"Just to mess with me, you paid someone to come all the way from New Mexico to act in this elaborate prank. Why?"
Chandler looked at Chuck, unable to understand his reasoning.
Chuck glanced at him and said matter-of-factly, "I'm rich!"
"..."
Chandler was speechless at Chuck's brutally honest answer, but upon reflection, it made perfect sense.
For people like them, the direct flight from New Mexico to New York alone was a considerable expense, not to mention the cost of hiring an actor, which had clearly been meticulously rehearsed, and that must have cost significant money.
So, he had never expected such an elaborate prank.
Money really does let you do whatever you want!
After a moment, he suppressed his negative emotions and grumbled, "You know you could have just given me the money you spent on this performance. That would have instantly cured my depression. There was no need for all this trouble."
While he wasn't exactly money-obsessed, he was certainly practical. If Chuck had just given him the cash, all his worries would have disappeared.
"I know,"
Chuck nodded calmly.
Chandler: "..."
Monica carefully observed Chandler's expression and found that, just as Chuck had predicted, even though he had been severely pranked, Chandler wasn't angry. Instead, he seemed relieved and had shed his previous negativity and depression.
It was really remarkable.
(End of Chapter)
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