Rikka stared in wide-eyed shock. This was "Japanese Quality" at its peak—the sheer eccentricity of a hero from a country that had made a name for itself in the realm of the bizarre.
"It is clear her ability to seize hegemony is second to none... though her efficiency is frankly appalling. If one looks only at the results, the work is flawless, but..."
"Nobbu, that's amazing... so, what were you going to use the Grail for?"
"Hm? Why, Rikka! It's for you, obviously!"
"—For me?"
"Umu!" The revolutionary of the Warring States nodded proudly. "You saved the world; it would be a lie if there wasn't a reward for that kind of service. If you do a job no one else can do, no one else is going to know how to reward you properly. In fact, people will probably just criticize and troll you for it. That's why I shall celebrate you! I love innovation, after all! Be happy, Rikka! I've prepared a trophy to commemorate your victory. Are you happy? Well? You are, aren't you?"
"Nobbu! Thank you!"
Nobunaga laughed, slapping Rikka on the shoulder with a satisfied grin. The truth was, Nobunaga was incredibly soft on those she took a liking to. Whether it was forgiving the betrayal of a vassal over a tea bowl or writing a letter to Hideyoshi's wife to tell her that her "balding rat of a husband" was crazy to be unhappy with her—she was far more than just a terrifying tyrant.
"Exactly! When you're happy, say you're happy! If you just face everything with a 'It can't be helped' attitude, life usually works itself out! Also, I brought a dowry. I'm going to be a burden on your household now, so it's only natural, right? That's how Chaldea works?"
"Ugh..."
"What? What's with the silence? Don't tell me you came to Chaldea with nothing but the clothes on your back? Seriously? With that skinny little body? I'm shocked. Did you have no self-awareness about being a dependent? Really?"
"Most heroes respond to the summoning with nothing but their pride," the King of Heroes added. "It would have been a miracle if they'd brought even a single enhancement material."
Nobu laughed, then immediately got angry.
"You were born in Japan and you don't understand the basics?! If you're setting up a base, you bring a gift! If I'd known that was the default, I wouldn't have ended the war so fast, Okita!!"
"How was I supposed to know?! That's just you jumping to conclusions, Nobbu! Collecting materials is the Master's job! Our job is to, you know, look cute in My Room!"
"Come visit me sometime!"
"Nobbu, you don't know, do you? All the things the Master and I have been through! You're the junior here, so show some respect to your senior! Now, go buy me some manju! Chop-chop!"
"Have you ever heard the term Gekokujo? It means the low overthrowing the high."
"Oh, I'm familiar. Master! Let's purge Nobbu together!!"
"Hey! Using Rikka-senpai is cheating!!"
The two long-time rivals laughed and bickered. Despite the noise, they were close enough to watch TV together while completely naked.
"Loud bastards..."
Hijikata popped another pickled radish into his mouth, gathering his strength. The "Killer Machine" of the Shinsengumi, powered by radishes as if they were CalorieMates, watched the three of them with a strangely gentle gaze—like a big brother, or perhaps a mother, watching over rowdy children.
"Anyway, it was all going well until I started tinkering with the Grail and it went berserk. I slipped and fell headfirst into the thing... My power was drained, I turned into a 1-star trash-tier Nobbu, and honestly, I'm pretty sure it's all Okita Souji's fault..."
"What?! Is that true?!"
"I just told you it was the Grail's fault! Slander! This is slander!"
"So! To get my power and my Grail back, I want us to unite and give it our all! All for one (Nobbu), and Nobbu for all!"
—I see! That actually makes sense! We'll do our best to protect you while you're weakened, Nobbu!
(The old you would have probably said, 'Let's just ignore the one NEET in the group,' right?)
—Auuuu~!
Ere winced as if stabbed by an unexpected blade, clutching her side.
—Fou is being mean!
(I'm watching you. I can be sharp when I want to be.)
—I love that about you, Fou!
(Counter-attack neutralized.)
『Nobu-bu, Nobu-bu』
While Fou was busy meeting his quota, a Chibi Nobbu trotted up, holding a tea bowl.
"Hm? A find? Is this... a Yohen Tenmoku bowl? One of only three pristine pieces in the world? Well done, Chibi Nobbu. Have a candy."
『Nobubu, Nobu!』
"You have a good eye, Goldie! As expected of a gorgeous King! I want to change classes too! I want to be a Demon King!"
『What is this? Is this the sort of thing that's popular in the East?』
『It looks like a hunk of iron. It's so... flat.』
"How rude, you Westerners! If Rikyu heard you say you didn't understand the wabi-sabi of this piece, he'd smack you!"
『That is the manifestation of 'value' as perceived by Oda Nobunaga's subconscious. ...It really is quite flat, though.』
"Hmph." (Silent storage sound)
—Wow! It really is flat!
"Don't just pocket it silently, Goldie! No, no! That's mine! Nobbu's!"
"What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine! Ownership always resides with me! If it is a treasure, it is a 'No-Time Get'! Truly, it cannot be helped! Fuhahahaha!!"
"What a pleasant tyrant! This guy... that damn smile of his makes it even more annoying!"
"That smile... it's what has kept us going all this time..."
—Yes...
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