"Alastor-sama! But, but as a Guardian, Mare—"
"It's fine." I raised a hand, stopping her before she could scold him further. My voice came out calm and measured—the kind of tone I'd learned Ainz used when addressing subordinates. But mine carried a warmth his never quite did. "Aura, I understand how you feel. It's only natural you'd be displeased if Mare acted timidly before me. But fear not. I believe that if Nazarick were ever under attack, both of you would stand fearless before any foe. There's no need for punishment, as long as one fulfills their duty when the time comes."
Her golden eyes softened, the fight in them draining away.
I turned to Mare, who was half-hiding behind his staff. "Come now," I said, offering him a hand. His small fingers hesitated, then grasped mine. I pulled him gently to his feet. "And Mare, you should be grateful to your sister. Even if I were angry, I couldn't remain so after seeing how much she worries for you."
Mare blinked at me, surprise flickering across his dark elven face. He turned to Aura, who was already waving her hands in panic.
"Eh? No, no, it's not like that! I wasn't scolding him because you were watching, Alastor-sama!"
I smiled faintly. "It's fine, Aura. Intentions aside, your heart was in the right place. And for the record, I'm not dissatisfied with Mare's performance as a Guardian."
Her head shot up, eyes gleaming. "R-Really? Um, thank you, Alastor-sama!"
"Th-thank you very much…" Mare echoed timidly, cheeks tinged with color.
"Good. Now, there's one more thing." I clasped my hands behind my back, adopting a more commanding posture. "I've already called for the other Guardians to assemble here. They'll arrive within the hour."
"Eh? Then we need to get ready for—"
"No need," I interrupted gently. "You two just stay here and wait."
Aura tilted her head. "Is that so? Hm… all the Guardians—that means Shalltear is coming too?"
"All of them," I confirmed. "So yes, Shalltear as well."
"…Haa."
Her long ears drooped like a wilted flower. Mare shuffled nervously beside her, clearly sensing her change in mood. According to her backstory, Aura wasn't on good terms with Shalltear—a petty joke by Bukubukuchagama that had somehow survived into this reality. Apparently, even divine prank coding persisted here.
Before I could comment, the air before us shimmered. Shadows rippled like ink spilling across water.
A voice echoed from nowhere and everywhere at once:
"Oya, am I the first to arrive?"
A shadow stretched across the marble floor, twisting, deepening—then rose, shaping itself into a black door. From that darkness stepped a figure that could only belong to one being.
Shalltear Bloodfallen.
She was exactly as I remembered her from both the anime and YGGDRASIL: an embodiment of gothic elegance and eerie perfection. She wore a black ball gown that flared outward like a flower in bloom, trimmed with frills and lace. A bolero hugged her shoulders, long silk gloves covered her pale arms, and her face—too young, too perfect—was framed by silvery hair tied into a playful side ponytail.
Her crimson eyes glowed faintly as she gave a curtsy, her lips curled in an alluring, practiced smile. The scent of perfume—sweet and heady—filled the space around her.
Before I could greet her, Aura snapped.
"… Weren't you told not to frivolously use Gate inside Nazarick? We're warded against teleportation for a reason! You can walk here, you know!"
Gone was the obedient tone from moments ago; her voice now cut sharp and cold. Mare flinched, stepping behind me for safety.
Shalltear, however, didn't even glance at Aura. Instead, she floated forward, her gaze fixed entirely on me.
"Ah… Alastor-sama…" Her voice dripped honey and reverence.
Aura's jaw clenched. "Something stinks," she spat. "Don't tell me you've started rotting because you're undead?"
I had to suppress a laugh. Ah, Bukubukuchagama, you magnificent troll.
Shalltear finally deigned to turn toward her rival, eyes narrowing. "Don't you think it's rude to speak unnecessarily in the presence of a Supreme Being?"
"But, but Nee-chan, maybe you shouldn't—" Mare tried to mediate.
Aura nodded solemnly. "You're right, Mare. Let's take two, then. Ahem… Don't tell me you started rotting because you're a walking corpse."
I covered my mouth to hide my grin.
Shalltear's red eyes twitched.
Before the tension could snap, she suddenly placed her hands on my face. Her fingers were cold—unnaturally so—but the touch was reverent, almost trembling.
"Ah, my master… my beloved master, the one I cannot rule over…"
Then she licked her lips. Her tongue moved in a disturbingly sensual motion, the gesture at odds with her childlike appearance.
I could practically feel Aura's glare stabbing into my skull.
'Alright,' I thought, 'this is the part where my reputation dies.'
Still, I couldn't help noticing that Shalltear's perfume did smell amazing. She wrapped her arms around me, pressing close—or rather, clinging like a child hanging off an adult.
"I swear, this must be Peroronchino's influence," I thought, returning the hug briefly before gently loosening it.
"That's enough," Aura snapped. "Stop disturbing Alastor-sama with your dirty tricks!"
Shalltear turned with exaggerated grace, lips curling into a smirk. "Ara, are you still here, shorty? I couldn't see you, so I thought you'd gone home to play with your dolls."
Aura's face twitched. Mare, sensing disaster, tried to inch away from both.
Shalltear turned to him instead, voice dripping with mock concern. "It must be difficult for you, Mare, having such a strange sister. You should leave her before her weirdness rubs off on you."
Mare froze, looking like he'd rather die than reply.
But Aura just smiled sweetly. "Shut up, fake tits."
The silence that followed was glorious.
Shalltear's crimson eyes went wide. "What… did you just say!?"
"Nice jab, Aura," I murmured under my breath, unable to stop the grin spreading across my face.
"Hmph! That's one weird chest," Aura pressed on mercilessly. "How many pads did you stuff in there, huh?"
Shalltear flailed, her poise crumbling. "Wha—wh-what nonsense are you—!"
Aura poked her finger forward, her devilish grin widening. "You packed so much in there, I bet it shifts when you run, right?"
"Ku—Kuhii!" Shalltear made a strangled noise, clutching her chest as if to defend her honor.
"I knew it!" Aura crowed triumphantly. "That's why you used Gate instead of running here! Wouldn't want them to fall out, huh?"
"Shut up, shorty! It's not like you've got anything to talk about! At least I—I've got something to show off!"
Aura placed her hands on her hips. "I'm only seventy-two, Shalltear. I've got centuries left to grow. You, on the other hand…" She leaned in with a mocking whisper. "…will never grow again."
"Guuuuuh—!" Shalltear's frustration manifested in an almost cartoonish way as she stomped a heel into the marble.
Their insults continued to escalate into bizarre territory—Aura mocking Shalltear's fashion sense, Shalltear calling Aura a "twig in leather armor," and somewhere in between, Mare hiding behind me like I was his human shield.
I sighed, crossing my arms as I watched the spectacle unfold.
~~~
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