Kanto Region.
Pallet Town.
Professor Oak's Laboratory.
"Professor Oak, we're back, daze—" Hayashi raised his hand and waved enthusiastically at the professor, grinning as he said, "Did ya miss me?"
"I missed you to death—" Professor Oak quickly raised his hand and walked toward Hayashi, only to smoothly sidestep him and take the luggage from Erina and Hisako instead, saying warmly, "—your girlfriend's cooking!"
"?"
Hayashi stood frozen in place, a question mark practically floating above his head, before turning to stare incredulously at Professor Oak behind him. "Unbelievable! Even your Dragonite isn't as shameless as you!"
Professor Oak fell silent for a second before sighing. "Someone like you, who gets to eat her cooking every day, just wouldn't understand, would you?"
Ever since tasting Erina's cooking, the instant noodles Professor Oak once loved had lost all appeal—
The noodles were like a 40-year-old wife, faded with age, her figure gone, wrinkles covering her face, yet still wearing lingerie.
He was like a nearly 50-year-old man, exhausted after a long day of work, coming home to see his wife as described above.
No way. Impossible.
"Hehe—" Hayashi chuckled mysteriously, winking at Professor Oak. "Let's not talk about that for now! I brought you some firsthand research material from Galar!"
"Hmm?"
Professor Oak made a puzzled noise. "What material?"
"Footage of Gigantamaxing!" Hayashi pulled out his Pokédex, his face lighting up with excitement. "This is a precious first-person recording! It documents the entire Gigantamax process of my Gengar, Erina's Alcremie, and Pikachu—"
"!!"
Professor Oak at this moment seemed to have reverted to his eighteen-year-old self, as if he had just seen his literature teacher in black stockings lying shyly on the bed—he was in a state of extreme excitement.
"Hayashi! I've missed you so much!" Professor Oak spread his arms and hugged Hayashi tightly, even giving his back a few hearty pats. "You're finally back! Ever since you left, I couldn't even eat or drink properly!!"
Feeling Professor Oak's overwhelming enthusiasm, Hayashi couldn't help but twitch his lips and retort, "Professor Oak, your attitude... how should I put it? It's just a tad too genuine, don't you think?"
Professor Oak completely ignored Hayashi's sarcasm. Instead, he stared longingly at the Pokédex in Hayashi's hands and pleaded, "Give it to me? Please, please, please!"
"Wow—"
Hayashi couldn't take it anymore. With a look of disgust, he shoved the Pokédex into Professor Oak's arms, then vigorously rubbed his own arms before turning to the three girls who were already laughing uncontrollably. "Trust me, you do not want to experience a man in his fifties or sixties acting cute."
"Gahahaha—" Sabrina burst into laughter. "You—you're just full of entertainment!"
Hayashi: "?"
Sabrina: "I've decided! I'm giving you a nickname—hmm, you're... the Jokester!"
Hayashi: "??"
What the hell!
Hisako also found it amusing. She winked at Hayashi and said, "Master Hayashi, that's actually a pretty good title, isn't it? From now on, you can introduce yourself as the Jokester from Pallet Town, right?"
Pfft!
...
...
Backyard of Professor Oak's Lab.
After Hayashi handed over his Pokédex, Professor Oak immediately retreated into his office like a shut-in who had just downloaded 17 terabytes of resources—frankly, it gave off the vibe of "hit it and quit it."
Regardless, since this was still Professor Oak's lab, Hayashi and the others naturally couldn't just wander around freely. So after some discussion, the four of them decided to head to the backyard and greet the Pokémon they hadn't seen in a while.
"Everyone, come on out—" x4
Hayashi released his Arcanine and the newly evolved Corvisquire (formerly Rookidee);
Erina sent out Alcremie, Klahh, and Milotic;
Hisako released Pinocchio, Miltank, Tropius, and Indeedee.
As for the Sylveon, Gengar, Pikachu, and Florges who had always been following the trio, they immediately ran over to greet their little companions upon seeing them.
"Chirp chirp—"
Meanwhile, Fletchinder let out a crisp cry with her head held high.
Hmph, why choose that Pokémon as a flying companion? Isn't Talonflame cool enough? Talonflame is the noble Fire/Flying type!
Just like the great Ho-Oh!
Hayashi reached out and plucked Fletchinder from the top of his head, then grumbled, "I mean, you've been saying this every time you see Corvisquire ever since I caught it. Isn't it about time you let it go?"
"Chirp!"
Fletchinder "hmph-ed" and turned her head away.
What's wrong with Fire/Flying? Fire/Flying is awesome!
"Yeah, yeah, Fire/Flying is strong!" Hayashi helplessly poked Fletchinder's beak and said, "But Talonflame is only 1.2 meters tall—that's way too small compared to Corviknight's 2.2 meters!"
"Chirp—"
Fletchinder made an unmistakably annoyed expression.
Talonflame is trash.
Hayashi flicked Fletchinder's forehead in exasperation. "You're still just a Fletchinder yourself—what gives you the right to look down on Talonflame? It's literally your evolved form, you know?"
However, Fletchinder wasn't paying attention to Hayashi's words at all. Her mind was completely occupied by one thought—
Holy—holy crap! He flicked my forehead!? He actually dared to flick my forehead!? I got flicked on the forehead!?
At this moment, Fletchinder was as shocked as Kennedy getting his head ventilated. For a moment, she even forgot to retaliate, just gaping at Hayashi with her beak hanging open in utter disbelief.
"?"
Hayashi waved a hand in front of Fletchinder's face, muttering, "Did she go dumb? Does that mean I can roast her? Tch, no—Fletchinder's a Fire-type, so she probably wouldn't cook properly..."
"CHIRP!!"
The next second, an indignant screech erupted from Fletchinder as she shot into the air, then dive-bombed Hayashi with murderous intent.
I'LL KILL YOU—
"Whoa!"
Hayashi was startled by Fletchinder's reaction and instinctively dodged her skyward "Divine Peck of Buddha." Heart still racing, he patted his chest and glared at Fletchinder, whose beak was now stuck in the ground. "Are you out of your mind?! If that hit me, I'd be dead for sure!"
That's the POINT!!
Fletchinder yanked her beak out of the ground, then zoomed straight for Hayashi's head, unleashing a relentless barrage of pecks.
"Ow ow ow—!"
Hayashi quickly shielded his head with both hands to fend her off, then bared his teeth. "Stay back! I'm warning you, stay back—!"
"Chirp!"
You tell me to stay back, so I stay back? Where's my dignity in that?!
You dared to flick my forehead—now face me in battle!
"Fine!"
Hayashi lowered his hands and clenched his fists. "Then let's settle this, Fletchinder!"
"Chirp!?"
Fletchinder was taken aback for a moment before fluttering its wings and landing in front of Hayashi, asking, "What do you want to compete in?"
Hayashi pondered for a few seconds before speaking.
"Who's taller?"
"?"
"Or who's heavier?"
"?"
"Who has longer arms?"
"?"
"Leg length works too!"
"?"
"If all else fails, how about rock-paper-scissors?"
"?"
Not just Fletchinder, but even Hisako, who was standing nearby, couldn't help but show an expression of secondhand embarrassment upon hearing Hayashi's proposed competition ideas.
"Um, Master Hayashi..."
"Hmm?"
"Isn't this a bit too much?"
"Hmph, this isn't too much—this is called human wisdom!" Hayashi declared triumphantly, as if he had just pulled off some grand scheme. "Humans climbed to the top of the food chain precisely because of our wisdom, hmph!"
Hisako covered her face with her hand: 'No, this isn't wisdom—it's just plain shameless...'
Fletchinder angrily chirped, "Chirp!"
You shameless human! Don't you feel even a little guilty doing this?!
"Guilt? I don't have any of that!" Hayashi retorted confidently, staring at Fletchinder. "You know, there's a saying back in my hometown—'my guilt was eaten by a dog'!"
"Chirp?"
And then?
"And then I raised an Arcanine—" Hayashi pointed at the Arcanine frolicking in Professor Oak's backyard, smirking. "So it's perfectly normal for me to have no guilt, right?"
W-wait, you can explain it like that?!
Not just Fletchinder, but even Erina and Hisako were left with the same dumbfounded, sweatdrop expressions seen in Detective Conan.
Hayashi's shameless antics somehow managed to diffuse Fletchinder's anger a little. Grumbling, she landed on top of Hayashi's head and muttered, "Chirp chirp!"
Fine, I'll reluctantly forgive you this time. But if you ever flick my head again, I'll make sure you understand why flowers are so red!
"Sure, sure, whatever you say," Hayashi replied dismissively, nodding. "Thank you, Great Fletchinder, for your magnanimity. I'm deeply moved."
Fletchinder: "..."
Is it just me, or does it feel like this guy is pretending to thank me while actually brushing me off? And doing a really terrible job at hiding it?! Hmm?
If Hayashi could hear Fletchinder's thoughts, he would very gently reassure her: "Sweetie, don't overthink it! Be confident—I am brushing you off!"
After placating Fletchinder, Hayashi turned his attention to Erina—she had released Professor Oak's Dragonite, but upon realizing that their journey was over and he wouldn't get to eat delicious Pokéblocks anymore, the chubby yellow dragon let out a wail and burst into tears.
"Pika—"
"Mew—"
"Mmm—"
"Geng—"
The other Pokémon quickly gathered around to comfort the sobbing Dragonite, who was crying in a manner reminiscent of SpongeBob, but the torrential tears gushing from his eyes showed no signs of stopping.
Hayashi couldn't help but marvel: Dragonite truly lives up to its Pseudo-Legendary status—so much water output.
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