Chapter 0113: Let's Get Some Beans
"Ah, so bored—"
Hayashi lay lazily on a rocking chair with Sylveon sprawled on top of him, while Gengar lurked in the shadows, providing him with a full-service cooling experience.
Ho-Oh, perched atop his head, shot him a glare and huffed, "You're seriously the worst! Your girlfriend is making Pokéblocks to reward the Pokémon, your lackey is giving massages to the exhausted Pokémon with Indeedee, the blonde woman is training Pokémon, and the blonde girl is helping her train—and what are you doing? Just lying here complaining about being bored? Could you at least act like a human being?"
Hayashi wriggled slightly to adjust his position, making himself even more comfortable, then drawled, "But it's not like I can help with anything! I can't cook, I can't do massages or healing moves, and I definitely can't train Pokémon—the best I can do is not pretend to know what I'm doing and just stay out of their way."
"That might sound reasonable at first, but it doesn't change the fact that you're just slacking off and doing absolutely nothing, does it?"
"Shut up, I am putting in effort!"
"Oh? Like what?"
"Cheering for Erina and the others with my thoughts?"
"You're so lame!"
"Hah? And you have the nerve to say that?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Who was it that ditched her mahjong buddies the second she heard we were staying here, then came running over to freeload food?"
"Shut up! I've been using my Life Force to heal your Pokémon's fatigue every night! That's a privilege no one else gets! If word got out, people would be begging me on their knees to help them!"
"Then go do that."
"I'm not stupid—other places don't have free food."
Hayashi was speechless. How could this damn bird be so shameless? Who the hell taught her that? Could she at least have some self-awareness and not corrupt the God of Life like this?
Leaning back in his chair, Hayashi took an annoyed sip of cola before grumbling, "Ugh, why couldn't it have been Lugia who showed up? At least it could use Icy Wind to chill my drink!"
Ho-Oh: "?"
Hayashi shook his head. "This Ho-Oh is just pathetic. Can't even use an Ice-type move."
Ho-Oh: "Are you saying that I, the mighty God of Life, am inferior to that stinky bird who's supposed to be the Guardian of the Seas but doesn't even have the Water type?"
Hayashi shrugged. "A certain Legendary seems mad, but I won't say who."
Ho-Oh stomped her feet in frustration, cursing under her breath. "Oh, so it's just Icy Wind? Just you wait—I refuse to believe I can't do it!"
Hayashi grinned, reaching up to pluck Ho-Oh from his head and holding her in front of his face. "Come on, you're Fire/Flying-type. Why are you picking a fight with Ice moves? Even if you used every ounce of your strength, you'd never learn Icy Wind!"
At best, she could manage Heat Wave.
Ho-Oh pecked his finger, making him yelp in pain, then perched indignantly on his hand. "Who says the great Ho-Oh can't pull off Icy Wind? Just you wait—I'll master it within three days, and no one can stop me! That's a promise!"
Hayashi rubbed his chin and muttered, "Could it be that in the yet-to-be-released Scarlet and Violet, Ho-Oh also has a regional form—not Fire/Flying but Ice/Flying?"
At this thought, Hayashi's expression grew even more intrigued. He mumbled, "Forget what a blue Ho-Oh would even look like—wouldn't changing its typing to Ice/Flying make it weaker?"
Even Ho-Oh has fallen on hard times, folks.
...
...
Though Ho-Oh had said something like "I'll whip up an Icy Wind for you within three days," Hayashi hadn't expected the solution to arrive in just three hours.
"So…"
Hayashi took a sip of his iced cola, exhaled deeply, and said with slight satisfaction, "This is the solution you came up with?"
Ho-Oh retorted confidently, "Is there a problem? There shouldn't be, right?"
Hayashi glanced at the Vaporeon lying on the nearby coffee table, staring blankly at the lawn in front of it as if questioning its existence, and couldn't help but shake his head. "I feel bad for Suicune."
If Ho-Oh could disguise herself as a Fletchinder, then Suicune disguising as a Vaporeon was perfectly reasonable, right?
"Suicune's second life was granted by me, so he's essentially an extension of my power—" Ho-Oh justified matter-of-factly. "And if an extension of my power uses Icy Wind, then rounding it off, doesn't that mean I'm the one using it? Makes sense, doesn't it?"
"True enough—"
Hayashi nodded. Given how far Ho-Oh had already fallen, what else could he say? He could only go along with it—pushing back any further might provoke Ho-Oh into attacking his hair follicles again.
If I ever go bald, it's all Ho-Oh's fault! Hayashi grumbled internally as he picked up some edamame from the table, popped one into his mouth, and tossed another toward his head. Ho-Oh, with practiced ease, caught it mid-air and happily munched away.
Suicune: Heh. Tired. Exhausted. Just end me, world.
My supreme leader (Ho-Oh) has turned into a Fletchinder perched on someone's head getting fed beans—what kind of surreal nightmare is this!? Homura Akemi turning into an Ultraman to fight the invading Anton alongside the black dragon Acnologia would be more believable than this!
"Want one too, Suicune?" Hayashi held out a third bean to Suicune with a grin. "They're really good!"
Though reluctant to be hand-fed, under Ho-Oh's watchful gaze from atop Hayashi's head, Suicune could only force a nod. "Then I'll take one."
With that, it opened its mouth, letting Hayashi toss the bean in, and chewed half-heartedly.
"Hmm—"
The next moment, as if struck by lightning, tears silently rolled down Suicune's cheeks. It felt as though its life had been elevated in that instant.
Years later, Entei stood beside Suicune, gazing solemnly at the distant land before asking in a low voice, "Suicune, what do you think is the meaning of our remaining days?"
After a few seconds of contemplation, Suicune replied, "To get some beans from Hayashi."
Entei blinked, then clarified, "What I meant was—why do you think Lady Ho-Oh revived us and granted us new power? What does she expect us to do?"
Suicune thought for a moment and said, "To help Hayashi with some beans over there."
...
...
When Cynthia and Caitlin finished their training session and came to the "rest area" where Hayashi was, intending to drink some water to soothe their throats, this was the scene they witnessed.
"Hey—"
Hayashi flicked an edamame bean in a peculiar posture, and a Fletchinder in front of him "whooshed" into the air, swiftly catching the bean in its mouth.
"Ha—"
Hayashi raised his other hand and flicked another edamame bean to the side, where an agile Vaporeon suddenly leaped up, catching the bean mid-air like a dog fetching a frisbee.
"Nice—"
Hayashi swept his right hand across the plate and flicked three beans simultaneously—left, up, and right. The Fletchinder dove from above, catching the top and left beans in succession, while the Vaporeon snapped up the one on the right.
"Hah—"
This time, Hayashi scattered the beans like a celestial maiden scattering flowers, but even with eighteen beans, the two Pokémon effortlessly caught every single one.
"Amazing!"
Hayashi stopped his assault and said sincerely, "Your perception, reflexes, and execution are all top-notch!"
"Chirp chirp!"
Ho-Oh proudly perched on Hayashi's head.
Of course! Do you even know who I am? I am the Life God who wields the power of life, capable of resurrection, the Ho-Oh who brings life and hope to humanity!
Hayashi immediately gave Ho-Oh enthusiastic applause, then also praised Suicune.
"Vaporeon was great too! Didn't miss a single one, and so fast!"
"Ooh—"
Suicune smiled modestly.
After all, I am the embodiment of the North Wind. A little speed is nothing to boast about.
Cynthia and Caitlin watched this scene in bewilderment. The Psychic-type Elite Four member couldn't help but ask, "Um, Mr. Hayashi, what's going on here? This Fletchinder and Vaporeon are…"
"Oh, them—" Hayashi scratched his head. "They're probably wild Pokémon from around here. They must've been drawn by the smell of Erina's snacks, so I played with them for a bit."
"Wild Pokémon?" Cynthia looked at Ho-Oh and Vaporeon in surprise. "The Vaporeon seems normal, but this Fletchinder is way too small, isn't it? Is it malnourished?"
A normal Fletchinder stands about 0.7m tall, but the one on Hayashi's head was only around 0.1~0.2m—ridiculously tiny.
"Uh, maybe," Hayashi blinked. "Maybe it didn't eat well as a chick, so it didn't grow properly."
Hayashi had complained to Ho-Oh before, saying, "If you're going to disguise yourself as a small bird Pokémon and perch on my head, why not just mimic a Natu, which is only 0.2m tall?"
In response, he received Ho-Oh's most disdainful and resistant expression. She snorted, "I, Ho-Oh, would rather die, die outside, jump off, and splatter than mimic a Psychic/Flying-type Pokémon! Fire/Flying is my last shred of dignity! Dignity, I say!"
Hayashi could only cast a disdainful glance at Ho-Oh before taunting her that there were only six Fire/Flying-type Pokémon including her, while there were eight Psychic/Flying-types even without Lugia—prompting an enraged Ho-Oh to chase him for half an hour, pecking at his butt.
Tch, this Ho-Oh really is so... petty! No wonder they don't give her any movies!
Now look at Lugia? Not only does she have The Power of One as her own dedicated movie, but she also made cameos in Hoopa and the Clash of Ages and The Legend of Thunder, plus appeared in the Orange Islands and Journeys arcs of the anime...
Compared to that, Ho-Oh just doesn't measure up (waves hand dismissively).