He was short, unbelievably so, and had a stomach that hung so wide he looked like he was a step away from falling over and rolling around like a bouncy ball. His tiny shoes were multiple shades of red that I couldn't place. The suit he was wearing was holding on for dear life. The shiny buttons were straining, and one had popped out long ago. The white shirt underneath was smudged with cheese pizza, and his scratchy beard had sauce all over it.
I met his squinty eyes with my own.
"Lord Carcinus. Thank you for your most generous invitation."
There was a scratching noise, much like the sound I remember our fax machine at school making after Tony Maguro hit it with his car as a joke. I realized, a moment later, that this was his way of laughing.
"Of course! Amphitrite, my dear, you're looking positively scrumptious tonight! Look at you work that dress, girl! Meow! Meow!"
What? I exchanged a look with Amphitrite as Carcinus dissolved into really loud and oddly wet mewling noises.
Amphitrite pressed her lips to my ear.
"Carcinus has been a little… off… as of late…"
My eyes widened, and I had to stop myself from laughing. What the hell is going on here?
In the myths, Carcinus was a literal monster. He'd aided the Hydra of all things, in its fight against Hercules. He basically embodied the term "menace to society" and now, he's making cat noises to my step-mom? The world of Greek mythology is a gigantic clusterfuck. I know better than to judge someone based on their appearance, though. There's a reason this dude was put into the sky.
— - —
{Carcinus} [The Sea's Anchor]
[HP]: 1,000,000/1,000,000 [resting]
[MP]: ?/?
[FEALTY]: N/A
[STR]: N/A
[VIT]: N/A
[DEX]: N/A
[INT]: N/A
[CHA]: N/A
[WIS]: N/A
[LUC]: N/A
[Info]: Carcinus was a giant crab that came to the aid of the Hydra in its battle with Herakles at Lerna. The hero crushed it beneath his foot but, as a punishment for its disobedience, the goddess Hera placed it amongst the stars in the constellation Cancer.
{Titles}
[The Sea's Anchor] - Having been modified by [?] Carcinus has multiple forms he can take, though each heightens his weakness to fire.
— - —
Interesting. He wasn't too tough, but his title was still interesting to me. The Sea's Anchor? Clearly, that wasn't referring to my father, because he's the one who wants me to come over here and get him a reason to usurp his position. It must be some other sort of sea deity—knowing my luck, it's going to be Oceanus.
I couldn't make a move on Carcinus yet. He'd done nothing out of the ordinary except make cat noises—he definitely hadn't committed any crimes. Real crimes, anyway. His list of crimes against fashion, though, would've landed him a one-way ticket to the FBI's top ten most dangerous list.
Eventually, he stopped meowing. It took a lot longer than it should have if I'm being quite honest, but it is what it is.
"I'm sure me and your little miss delectable model of a step-mom have some yummy subjects to talk about," Carcinus continued, mouthing some words at Amphitrite that I couldn't make out. "Go frolic around. Meet some people. Eat some apps. Save space for the main course, though!"
"By all means," I inclined my head, my eyes making contact with Amphitrite's for a brief moment. She was led away by Carcinus.
"Drink?"
One of the merpeople serving the event found his way to me, giving an exaggerated bow. He was holding a pretty tray, but I noticed that the glasses were just that—glasses. Some sort of red-stained sea glass, yeah, but no actual liquid inside. He must've seen me staring.
"Simply speak, and any drink you want will appear!"
Not bad. I grabbed a glass off the platter, just as a rather plump woman started talking to the server about where the bathroom was.
To his credit, Carcinus knows how to throw a party better than most of the rich people I know. That drink thing was a nice touch, and I'd never met waiters as eager and happy as these. Maybe it's just a Greek thing.
Looking around for the first time, I noticed that the room I was in was positively gigantic. I'm pretty sure I've seen gymnasiums that are smaller than this. Circular tables adorned a diamond-like outline inside of a buffet-style dinner. Merpeople were smiling behind the trays, loading plates full of all kinds of different food. I exhaled slowly, looking around. Meh. Nothing much to really be seen around here.
There were some interesting names around, sure. I saw Aithousa, my half-sister from the myths, cozying up to some random dude. Some telekhines were lounging around, eating crystallized seaweed. I walked past a gaggle of little kids wearing shirts with Triton's face on them. Disturbingly enough, one even had a shirt with my face on it.
Trying to shake my mind off of that weird thought, I continued walking further down the room.
Strobe lights and smoke machines caught my eye—this must be the dance floor. I hadn't been to any crazy dances before, but even I knew this was something else.
First off, the dance floor had levels. Yeah. Levels. The dance floor was vaguely rectangular but divided into thirds, more or less. Each floor was separated by an elevation change, and the only way up and down from these floors was the main staircase.
On the top level, you had your adults, more or less. Aside from a couple of grandmas, I'd say the average age over here must've been forty. A few people were slow-dancing, a couple were doing the robot, and a surprisingly high number were doing the Single Ladies dance. It looked like there were a lot of drunk women and men, most of whom were reliving their childhoods on that dance floor.
—I decided to move on when I saw one particular man doing the sprinkler. I don't need to scar myself too much here.
The second level, in contrast, had a bunch of little kids running around. It looked like all the parents from the first level had just let their kids run loose on this second one. That's actually probably what it was—good call on Carcinus' part. Wow. I'm gaining some respect for this guy—people should take notes on how he throws parties. Bad guy or not, these parties are definitely nice.
As you can probably guess, there wasn't really anyone dancing on this one, except for a few little kids who were positively tearing it up on the Cotton-Eye Joe. I stepped in for a few rounds, much to their delight, but I didn't stay there for too long either. I was looking for Carcinus' daughter—and trust me—she wouldn't be on either of those levels if she's really my age.
I'm pretty confident about that. The first level was the parents, the second one was the little kids, but the third one? The third one looked like it was something straight out of a movie. The other two seemed tame and mellow, but this last one was brimming with the electricity of being alive—the dance floor itself looked like it was vibrating—which it basically was.
Over the roar of music, I could easily make out that anyone between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five was here. Unlike the other two floors, this one was themed too. Monoliths of ice rose over it, their insides defrosted and filled to the brim with luminescent jellyfish that flashed different colors to the beat of the music. Icy smoke machines spewed plumes of bulbous smoke, bathing the floor in a hazy light. Beneath the dry-ice smoke swirled an array of blues, acid greens, hot pinks, and gold—even more jellyfish.
The music played over the dance floor as if it had fused with the bodies themselves, and the people were loving it if their screams were any reaction. I hated it, but I was instantly recognized the very moment I got down there. Some of the girls went crazy, and I had a bunch of the guys clapping my shoulder as I passed, too. The crowd parted to let me in, and then instantly closed behind me.
A couple of nymphs were dancing towards the middle of the dance floor.
"Come join us!" one of them yelled, gesturing towards me flirtatiously. One pulled her skirt up a little.
"Come on!"