He had clearly done his best in every conceivable aspect, from the marinade to the roasting technique—everything was perfect.
To prevent the Vicious Claw Wyvern's lean meat from turning into a piece of chewable firewood, Andrew maintained the fire at a perfect temperature, locking in what little moisture the meat had before it could escape.
The roasting time was flawless, pulling it off the grill the very moment it was cooked through, and the even sprinkling of seasoning ensured the aroma of cumin permeated every corner of the meat.
The buffs were stacked, the execution perfect; anyone who watched the process would have said that with a technique like this, even a shoe sole would be delicious.
As it turned out, the final product, presented with the utmost confidence, tasted even worse than a shoe sole.
After all, for many Arknights players, the sour stink of a shoe sole isn't just a stench—it's the lingering fragrance of a maiden.
You could only say that some things aren't on the dinner table for a good reason, like the turkey that failed the 'nine-clan extermination' test during Zheng He's voyages and thus was never brought back.
Sometimes, you just have to believe in bad omens.
Those who don't have probably already played a round of 'nine-clan elimination'.
Looking at the girl before him who had trusted him—who, despite her hesitation, had taken a bite after he led the way—Andrew saw tears welling up in her eyes from the retching, a glistening thread of saliva trailing from her lips. He quickly pulled out a Nulberry and stuffed it into her mouth.
He popped one into his own mouth as well.
Caught completely off guard, Jane didn't even have time to react as Andrew pushed the fruit into her mouth. She bit down instinctively, and as the juices burst in her mouth, the lingering foul taste and nausea vanished in an instant.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Jane then noticed that when Andrew had put the fruit in her mouth, his finger had brushed against her lips—and he had used that same finger to eat his own.
Though she usually acted like a seasoned veteran, Jane was still an innocent young woman, and a faint blush instantly flashed across her face.
To her relief, however, the thick, heavy makeup she wore to achieve her tanned, wheat-colored complexion completely concealed the blush, making it impossible for anyone to notice.
After swallowing the fruit, a relieved Jane looked at the equally relieved Andrew and asked with curiosity:
"What kind of fruit is this? It's so good at suppressing nausea. Is it a blueberry?"
"Oh! It's a fruit I grow myself. It's great for curing status ailments. Calling it a blueberry... isn't too far off, I guess. If you want some, I can give you a couple."
They're both blue, after all.
With that, Andrew casually pulled two more from his pocket and tossed them over. His nonchalant attitude led Jane to think nothing of it.
Catching the uniquely shaped blue fruits, Jane simply thought they were a special hybrid Andrew had cultivated from blueberries.
As for 'curing status ailments,' she just assumed it meant it could handle minor issues like motion sickness in addition to nausea.
But even with the physical sickness gone, the psychological revulsion remained, leaving Jane at a loss for words as she looked at Andrew.
Finally, she couldn't help but say:
"This is the best New Eridu's number one Felyne Chef has to offer? I'd rather eat the energy bars in my pack!"
At these words, Andrew immediately sat up straight.
"What did you say?! What was that?! You just wait. You're coming back with me later, and I guarantee you'll be leaving with a full belly, alright!"
Hearing this, Jane couldn't help but flash a mocking smile and reply:
"Heh, fine. I'll be waiting for you to knock me up, then..."
Holy crap, this girl plays for keeps, doesn't she?
But at this point, it was no longer about his cooking skills; it was a matter of his manhood! Even against a girl with an attack stat this high, there was absolutely no room for retreat!
Regardless, for now, Andrew had to make one last desperate attempt.
After all, roasting was already dead and buried as an option.
The pot of stew, into which he had thrown every possible deodorizing and flavor-enhancing spice, simmered in a special broth base from Granny Neko, was now his final hope!
Even for pure lean meat, after nearly half an hour in the pressure cooker, it was no longer so tough. A large, whole piece of Vicious Claw Wyvern meat tumbled in the brown broth.
With a heavy heart and the resolve of a man facing death, Andrew sliced off a piece and threw it into his mouth.
And this time, you could say Andrew succeeded, but only by a little.
The gamey taste in the meat was indeed gone. You couldn't say it had vanished completely, but.
Yes, but.
Adding that one word after any positive statement is enough to give anyone a heart attack.
The gaminess was gone, but as it stewed, the stench hidden deep within the meat had been completely released.
This unique, complex, and nauseating odor filled his mouth like a plague.
It was even somewhat contagious.
It was like a Rajang had fallen into a cesspool, been released into an arena, and then started frantically spinning around, flinging crap into every corner of the not-so-large enclosure!
And you were already standing right in the center of it all.
The experience was so immersive that Andrew felt a faint aura of death beginning to emanate from him.
It was a final cry from his tongue, telling its heartless master that if this happened one more time, it was going to die right then and there.
After spitting the contents of his mouth into the trash can again, Andrew's trembling hand fed himself another Nulberry.
The physical damage had ceased, but Andrew felt that the mental damage he had suffered from this Vicious Claw Wyvern was far greater than the physical harm it had inflicted upon him when it was alive.
Is this your final curse? You bastard, Vicious Claw... As expected of the only creature brave enough to take on an Elder Dragon head-on.
Jane watched in silence as the man, refusing to believe it, took another bite, only to start trembling and questioning his existence all over again from the taste.
"So... is this guy an idiot?"
She was already beginning to doubt whether coming over to check on this man had been the right decision. But in the end, she sighed and began to clean up the mess on the ground.
After all, she had played a part in creating this situation.
Having finally recovered, Andrew grabbed all the bags of waste and went with the girl, Jane, to throw out the trash. As for the original roasted Vicious Claw Wyvern leg...
What roasted Vicious Claw Wyvern leg? Isn't that special fertilizer for the farms in Silver City?!
—
Ever since Andrew had used the custom-made flamethrower ring as a giant gas stove, Burnice, who had been about to go complain, was dragged by Big Boss into the workshop to modify the motorcycle Andrew had picked out.
Now, the work was finally at a temporary stopping point.
The moment she stepped out of the workshop, she saw that Andrew was done preparing the beast's leg.
Already incredibly curious about what the Vicious Claw Wyvern tasted like, Burnice immediately called over three other members of the Sons of Calydon to come and have a taste of the big guy with Andrew.
"Come on, come on! Andrew's cooking must be amazing! When he gets back, I'll ask if we can share some with everyone else!"
_____
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