Come little children. Listen to my tale. The tale of a dark evil thing that lurks in the shadows. It is a terrible creature, this evil thing, and it has come for you. There is nowhere you can run. Nowhere you can hide, for it is always right behind you. Its eyes pierce through the thickest of fog. Its teeth will find your flesh and never let you go.
This terrible evil creature is a denizen of hell. Some call it the black dog, some a devil dog, but it has another name all together. An ancient powerful name that will, no doubt, make you shiver and shake. Hark then and listen to the name called aloud. The name that is, Soofi! Soofi? That's your name?
"Yes."
Seriously, your name is Soofi?
"Yes."
How am I supposed to tell a terrifying tale with a name like Soofi?
"But it's a terrifying name."
Are you sure?
"Yes. It means devourer of souls."
Soofi?
"Yes."
Devourer of souls?
"Yes. Look, just read the script. You're ruining my introduction."
Alright. Ahem. So cast your eye to the abyss and listen well, for here it comes the dreaded, heh, the dreaded, heh, heh, the dreaded Soo, Ha, Ha, Ha! I can't do this. Ha, Ha! Oh, I can't deal with it. Ha! Look out here comes the dreaded Soofi! Oh no! Not Soofi, what ever will I do?
"That's it pal, you're coming with me. Never get any respect. I'll have you know I'm a fierce predator. And stop laughing!"