There is a little piece of me, buried deep down inside. A sliver of who I really am, hidden beneath the many layers of who I thought I was. I can feel it, just below the skin as it wriggles around burrowing through my persona. It is a little thing, I must admit, but it is all that I should ever prize in this lifetime.
I sit myself down in front of a standing mirror. I gaze into my reflection, staring into my eyes as I shift my pupils from side to side trying as best I can to see what lies just out of sight. I place my fingertips around my open eyelid and pull, revealing the pink flesh beneath. But still, no sight of the thing I'm after.
I slam my fists down on the bare wooden arms of the chair, and I don't care that it hurts. I try again, this time with greater fervor and I don't stop until the pain and blood becomes too much. I jump from my seat and kick the chair over. I start to stomp around and curse with every word I know.
I am well into the midst of my tirade, expending all of my energy into violent expression, when a sudden sound freezes me in my tracks. I listen intently, halting even my breath. It comes again, a knocking at my door. I dare not move as I interpret the intrusion to be nothing more than a distraction, but one that needs addressing.
"Yes?" I call out after a long pause.
The door pops open, but is stopped by a chain which bars any unwanted entry.
"What's going on?" an exasperated voice calls from the other side.
"Nothing," I lie while remaining still, in an awkward stance.
"Then what was all the noise?" the voice further enquires.
"I just," I start as I scramble for a believable explanation and a possible exit should it become necessary. "I just stubbed my toe."
"Really?" the voice returns incredulously. "That is what all that noise was about?"
"Yes!" I shoot back indignantly. "Now please leave me, alone!" I emphasize the last words as I slam the door shut and press my back against it, as I listen to the retreating footsteps that soon follow.
At last I am alone again. I have to be, they simply wouldn't understand. What's more, they will try to stop me. They think that I might hurt myself. That I am losing touch with reality. But they don't know what I know. They could not even fathom the truth that I have uncovered. The truth that lies inside. All I have to do is find it. And I will. You can bet on that.