The blinding light only lasted a few seconds before I was thrust back inside my physical body. My eyes ripped open underwater, and I gasped more water into my lungs. My body wouldn't fall this time. I couldn't die, not until the beast passed onto someone else. I was already dead. I swam to the surface, pulling myself up the muddied riverbank with sheer will alone as I choked on the water. I heaved and puked the water out of my lungs. I stood soaking wet on the riverbank in the light of the late afternoon. There I stood, for the first time, knowing there was no end within sight. I had always looked for Plan B, but I knew there was no escape for now. Not for a very long time.
The deal had been made, and I was the monster. There were so many more questions. I was in the world for one purpose: to find those who found a way to take more than they were meant for, those who killed innocents, and corrupted the balance of the physical world. I was on this earth as a harbinger of death, destruction, and wrath.
I knew that was just the brochure info. Jon said there was a lot more to learn. He said I wasn't ready for certain answers. I didn't know everything yet, but I had time… plenty of time. He also said I shouldn't go it alone. Apparently, from the way he inferred about his own time in this role, he wasn't always alone. With that thought, I started walking. Left then right, left then right.
After a quick stop, breaking and entering, and a set of dry clothes, I was in their backyard. I walked onto their patio in the darkness of the night. Immediately in front of me, sitting at the counter with two beers in front of him, was Carter. He looked tired. I could tell by his breathing and heart rate that he was at the end of a very long day.
I focused my senses, tuning in on two slow heartbeats on the second floor. I leaped from the ground to the roof just beside the window. I looked in and saw her there in a dark room. Eleanor was there… alive. She had made it back. She made it home. There, just beside her, was Autumn. She looked at peace as she slept. The last time I saw her, she was frozen in place. The pain was so evident on her face for her dying mother. To see her now, like this… it was just what I needed.
I jumped back to the ground, landing a little too fast on the patio outside the window. I heard Carter's heart jump and saw his eyes shift to the corners. In only a short second, he had twisted around to the window and was aiming his gun straight at me.
I connected eyes with him. We stayed locked in for a moment. I'm sure he was wondering what to do. I was wondering how he'd react. Then, to my surprise and relief, he lowered his gun and walked to the back door, albeit very slowly.
He tapped on the security pad at the back of the house, unlocked the deadbolt, and then took a deep breath. He prepared himself for what was coming, unsure of why I was there. He must have been fairly certain I wasn't a threat because he opened the door very calmly. Though I still sensed the gun was tight in his grip. I could hear the muscles in his forearm straining as he held it close behind him.
"Sam," was all he said.
"Carter," I responded.
Neither of us said anything else for a moment, although I could tell he wanted to as much as I did. Fear probably held him back from anything else.
I broke first, "How is she?"
He was relieved, yet still uneasy, "She's… okay. She's confused… doesn't remember what happened exactly… but it's her." He actually started to tear up, "Did you… I know you took her, but… she's back." He had so many questions. Some, I might be able to answer. Others, I didn't fully understand myself.
I thought he was about to ask me how she came back to life. I thought he might know already, but if Eleanor didn't remember, then that might be for the best. I wouldn't have to talk about the details of what I had to sacrifice. But then, he stepped through the doorway and wrapped both of his arms around me.
"Thank you…" I could hear the tears running down his cheeks. "I don't know how you did it… But thank you." His body was slightly shaking as emotions flooded through him.
"You're welcome," was all I could say on the subject. I had a lot of my own emotions on the matter. I would have made the same decision again if I had to, but the fact remained. I gave up my only chance to return to my own life. It was a heavy reality.
He pulled away, "Please, come in."
I was hesitant, "I'm not sure if that is a good idea." I had only come to make sure that Eleanor had made it back and was safe. Anything else was… I wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet.
"Here," he said, stepping back inside to grab the beers, "I'll come out here. At least stay and have a drink with me."
I reached out again with my senses. Eleanor and Autumn were still unconscious upstairs. If I looked either of them in the eyes, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to distance myself as I had planned to.
"Okay," I agreed.
We came to sit at the large patio table across from one another. I could see the questions racing in his mind.
"I'm sorry, Sam. For what happened that night at the parking garage. We acted too quickly. We didn't understand, and we didn't approach you like a friend. We treated you immediately as an enemy," he apologized. "Autumn, she… She never meant to shoot you. It was the whole situation. We were all on edge because we all care about you, and in our fear and suspicion, we thought you were some kind of threat."
"It's okay, Carter. I understand what happened. You all thought I was just some monster that had been lying to you the whole time. Even to Autumn," I struggled to maintain my plans, but the more I talked openly about how I felt… it made me want to stay. "I never planned on any of this. I never knew about others like me… well, other creatures. Not until I met all of you that night."
"With those three vampires?" Carter asked.
"Four," I corrected. "There was another when I went back after you dropped me off that night."
"Four?" he asked. Memories were being connected, "Martin thought there were four, too. He said that four of them were missing after that night. You went back and killed him?"
"Well, not initially. I only went back to take a closer look at them. I had never seen one before that night, and I wanted to smell them again. They're like," I tried to describe the vampires. "It's like the scent of a large crowd compacted into each of them. Plus, I wanted to see if they'd burn up like you said they would. I just let the other burn up with the first three."
He was processing. Trying to connect the dots in our past that he had always had questions about.
"So," he asked, "why did you come with us that night?"
"Honestly," I thought hard, "I thought I might be able to figure out what I was. You all seemed so well prepared, so educated on those vampires and their weaknesses. I thought you might know more about the things that I never knew about."
"The bestiaries," he had already figured it out.
"Yeah," I confirmed. "I was reading through those things like every other page would have the answers on them."
"So, do you know what you are? I know I've never seen anything like you before," he asked before admitting his ignorance.
"No," I admitted the half-truth, "I don't. I read through almost everything you have here, but I never found anything that I could latch onto."
He furrowed his brow, "So, why'd you stay?"
"You guys remind me of something. Being around your family… it reminds me of what I thought I'd never have again," I said before pausing. It was hard to be so honest. "A family."
"We did think of you as family. Do think of you like family," he corrected himself. "We just, obviously, have questions."
"I know you do, but I don't think I can give you the answers you're looking for." I tried to be brutally honest.
He shuffled through the questions on the tip of his mind, "So you don't have any idea of what you are?"
"Not exactly."
"But you understand more about it now, right? I can tell," he said.
"Yes. But like I said, there are some things I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you."
He weighed other questions in his mind. "Can you turn into that form at will, or are you like a werewolf? Do you need something else to happen for you to transform?"
"I'm in control," I answered honestly.
"Hmm," he thought. He looked puzzled for a while, not speaking at all. He took a deep breath, exhaling as he brought the beer up for a drink. "I've got one more question," he said quietly. "And I think it's the only one that really matters."
I nodded, bracing myself.
"Why are you here? Why'd you come back?"
I tried to keep my voice steady. "I just... I needed to make sure Eleanor was okay. And I guess... I wanted to see you all one more time before I left."
"You're leaving?" His voice sharpened. "Where would you even go?"
I shrugged. "I don't know yet. But I've stirred up enough trouble here. I figured it'd be better if I moved on. Let your family get back to normal."
He looked at me, frustrated. "Sam… you really think that after everything, we'd just want you gone? You've changed things… more than you realize. We're closer to the Wicklows, and especially the Talbots, than we've been in years. No one even used to give Martin the time of day, and now look."
He let out a breath, shaking his head. "Even just... seeing you out there, doing what you did that night, even if we didn't understand it… It pulled us together. And Autumn… I haven't seen her light up like this in a long time… before we found you out. She's never really let people in, not even Patrick. But with you, something shifted. She started smiling again. Really smiling, not just the show for the family."
He paused. I could feel it coming.
"But…"
I waited.
"However," he said more carefully, "I can't lie to you. My first instinct is to protect my girls. That's always going to come first. And the truth is… you scare the shit out of me, Sam. You do. Everything about what you are, what you become… It's a threat on paper. You're a danger to the entire family."
He exhaled, slower this time. "But here's the thing… I've seen you be the danger. And in that chaos… whether you meant it to be or not, it was for us. You kept Autumn safe that night. You brought Eleanor back. Hell… you even saved me."
I blinked. "You?"
He nodded. "Yeah. After Eleanor died… I didn't know what the hell I was going to do. I tried to keep it together for Autumn, but I was unraveling. I figured it was only a matter of time before I slipped up out there. My heart wouldn't be in this anymore. I'd be going through the motions, and some creature would get the jump on me, and that'd be it."
I didn't say anything.
He looked up toward the bedroom window. "But now that Eleanor's back… It's like you handed me something I didn't think I'd get again. Hope. I was convinced everything good in my life was just going to keep getting taken. Allen. Eleanor. Eventually, Autumn too. But now…" He trailed off, then looked at me. "You gave me my wife back. You gave me a reason to believe things can still be okay."
I swallowed hard, trying to maintain my composure.
He sat in the silence for a moment before speaking again. "I don't know how I'm supposed to repay you for any of that."
"You don't need to," I said quietly.
He nodded. "I still have questions. A lot of them. But I also know this… There are things out there I can't protect them from. Not alone. But you can." He looked me in the eye. "If you're willing… I'd rather you didn't leave. You don't have to go."
I sat quietly, and I had to think. My first instinct was to run. It always had been. Ever since I was turned into this murderous creature, I felt like I had to run and hide from those I loved. It was the only way I knew to protect them from the thing I felt hiding behind my eyes. However, Carter was offering me an open-ended invitation. I could stay. I could be a part of their family. If I took it… what would that mean? What about my family? Vicky, Caydee, Seth… all of them? It was a lot to stir on at the moment. Yet, I had time to figure it out. It wasn't like I'd be dying anytime soon.
I laughed inside a little at the thought.
"I'll stick around," I answered simply, "for now. There are things you won't understand, things I still don't understand. You'll have questions, and sometimes I won't be able to give you the answers. But, if it ever comes to protecting them: Autumn, Eleanor, or any of the others… I won't hesitate."
Carter nodded his head, accepting my intentions, "That's good enough for me." He got up from the patio chair and, surprisingly, came in for a hug. "Thank you," he said as he wrapped his arms around me.
Surprised at his trust, I hugged him back, "Thank you, Carter."
We hugged it out for a moment before separating ourselves.
"I'll come back tomorrow."
"Where will you go?" he asked quickly. He motioned towards the guest's side, "I only ask because we have the room." He wouldn't admit it, but I think he wanted me close. He was still on edge after everything.
Just then, I heard movement from upstairs. Soft, hurried footsteps. Autumn crept to the window and peered into the dark. When her eyes found me, she stopped dead. Her breath must've caught in her throat. For a second, she didn't move. But I could see it in her face, the moment she put it together. Me. Her father. Out here in the middle of the night.
She bolted from the window.
I turned to Carter. "Autumn's coming."
A few moments later, the back door flew open. She burst out, barefoot, the cold night hitting her like a wall, but she didn't stop. Her pace slowed only when she crossed onto the patio and finally saw me in full. She froze.
Her arms hugged around herself, not because of the cold, but because she was trying to hold something in; maybe fear, maybe anger, maybe both.
"Hey," I said, my voice guarded, scared of her reaction to me.
She stared at me like I was a ghost. Like I was something that should've stayed buried. Something she missed, something she felt connected to, but now didn't know whether to run from or reach for.
"Hey," she said back, and it almost broke me. It was that same voice from before everything shattered, before she saw through the mask I used to wear.
Carter stepped in, trying to bridge the chasm. "Everything's okay, Autumn."
She glanced over at him, her expression softening just slightly. She was grateful he was there, but whatever she needed, it wasn't him right now.
"Dad… can you give us a minute?" she asked quietly. She could tell that this secret meeting between her father and me was on good terms, so she wanted her own time.
He turned to me. His eyes were full of questions. Was she safe? Could I still be trusted with her?
I gave him a small nod. Yes.
"Alright," Carter said, slowly and reluctant. "I'll be right inside. I'll check on your mother."
He lingered a beat longer than necessary before slipping back inside.
And then it was just us.
She didn't come any closer. Instead, she stood behind one of the patio chairs, gripping the back of it like she needed something solid to hold onto. Ten feet of silence between us. A thousand unspoken things hanging in the air.
I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I didn't know how to explain what I was, what I wasn't, or why I had come back now. I didn't even know if I had the right to speak first after I lied to her for so long. So I waited.
She just stood there, her eyes locked on me, not entirely afraid, but not ready to believe anything about me yet either.
She looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't trust her voice. Her breath hitched. Her jaw clenched. She blinked too hard.
I took half a step forward, but even that felt like too much.
Her voice, when it finally came, was fragile and breaking.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked softly. There wasn't anger in her voice, just something wounded. Like she'd been holding the question in for too long, and it finally broke loose.
I looked down, ashamed. "Because… I didn't think I'd be here this long. I thought I'd pass through, learn what I could from you about what I was, about the world, and then vanish before it got complicated. Before anyone really saw me."
She swallowed, her arms wrapped around herself. "But it did get complicated."
"Yeah," I said quietly. "It did. You… your parents… Frank… it stopped being simple. I started to care. That was never supposed to happen."
She hesitated. "So… were you ever going to tell us the truth?"
I hesitated too long. "Maybe," I said at last. "One day. When I could do it in a way that wouldn't make this thing inside of me so… terrifying."
Neither of us spoke after that. The silence stretched, thick and tense, like the air before a storm. Then, she took a few tentative steps forward.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes not quite meeting mine. Her hand reached up, trembling slightly, and brushed the place on my chest where the crossbow bolt had struck. "I didn't mean to shoot you. I didn't even know what I was doing… it just happened when you hit Martin."
"You don't have to say that," I said gently.
"I do," she breathed. "I do."
I stepped back a little, but not out of reach. "You really don't. And here's why. First… I lied. I let myself into your home, into your lives, knowing damn well what I was. You had every reason to defend yourself… your family. That's on me. Not you. And second, that arrow… it didn't hurt me the way I made it look."
Her dark brows drew together. "What do you mean?"
"I needed you to follow me. I kept the blood flowing on purpose, kept clawing at it. I wanted to leave a trail."
She stared at me like she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. "Why?"
"Because if you thought I died out there… maybe it would be easier. Maybe you'd feel safe again. Maybe you'd stop worrying about what I might become to your family."
Her voice dropped to almost nothing. "So that's what you think you are… a threat?"
I didn't answer. I didn't have to. It was written all over me.
She thought about everything as I told her. She took moments here and there to really process what I said and what it meant to her. We had transitioned from standing to sitting at the patio table, straight across from each other. I sat entirely still to try and make her, and a watching Carter, as comfortable as possible.
"But you came back. You saved all of us. Even Mom," she said. "How did you…"
I just shook my head because I couldn't talk about that yet. The details were still too fresh. I needed time before I told them what I gave up to give Eleanor back. If I ever would. Thankfully, it seemed Eleanor really had not been able to remember yet.
"But it was you, right?" she asked, trying to find a blind spot in my answers. She wanted so badly to know the details of what had happened with her mother.
"Yes."
"How did you know we were in trouble? How did you even know where to find us?"
"I didn't," I answered.
She was confused. She wanted answers, but I didn't have all of the answers that she wanted. We talked for a while longer about specifics, but I left her with all of the same non-answers that I could conjure up. They weren't ready for the truths that I had learned about myself. Or, maybe it was me who wasn't prepared.
"What about before?" she asked. "You had a life before all of this, right? Where's your family, your friends?"
"That's… not something I can't talk about, but it's just… hard," I tried not to think too much about my family. I had enough to deal with without dredging up those memories.
"Well, I'd like to know about them… if you're willing," she offered.
I readied myself. I took a slow breath before I started.
"They think I'm dead. It's been over two years since I disappeared."
"You haven't seen them in over two years?" she asked, aghast.
"I've seen them. I've gotten close, but," I remembered the struggle in me back then. "I couldn't stay. I didn't trust myself around them. I was scared… scared I'd hurt them."
"And what about now?"
"I'm in control more now than I've ever been, but I've been gone too long. They've lost me, they've mourned me, and they've learned to move on and live with all of that pain," I explained. "If I were to go back now… I'd just be bringing all of that back for them. So, what's better? Should I go back and uproot their lives and show them the unnatural thing I've become, or let them continue down the path they're on? Let them keep the little bit of happiness that they've found after everything that's happened. They could just remember me as I was."
Autumn started crying, "You've been by yourself ever since?"
"Yes," I answered. "Until I met all of you. You guys remind me of my family. Ultimately… I think that's the real reason I stuck around in the very beginning. You all made me feel something I hadn't felt in a long time."
She wiped the silent tears that continually ran down her face.
"So," she asked, "what's next?"
I searched hard to find the right words. I didn't want to assume or put anything on her that wasn't right of me to.
"I care about you. I care about your whole family. I wish things were different, but I can't change what I am. I'm not going anywhere for now, but I know things won't ever be the same," I acknowledged.
"Do you think I care about you being a monster?" she asked, almost angrily.
"Well… you saw me the other night, right?"
She nodded, "Yes, I did. I also saw you come in with no fear and fight to save us that same night. I also saw you running right beside me that night in the alley, protecting me from those vampires. I saw you on our camera system, climbing in through the living room window, and taking my mom away from here. Then, she shows back up here with Annabelle… alive. You may be something… but to me, that thing isn't a monster." She continued after a brief pause, "I've never seen anything like you before, but don't you remember what I told you?"
I shook my head, unsure of what she was speaking about specifically.
"Monsters come in all different forms. It's not your existence that determines what you are, it's your actions," she said.
As soon as she finished, I remembered.
She stood inches before me, having some sort of internal struggle. "Things won't be the same. I'm not sure if they'll ever be like they were," she added, "but I'm willing to see what happens. But," she amended, "you're going to have to trust us. Let us in a little. It may be hard at first, but the more you trust us, the more we'll trust you."
She let go of the little edges of my jacket that she was hanging onto and stepped back just as Carter stepped outside.
"Autumn," Carter warned after he saw our closeness. He didn't want her to get too complacent.
"I'm fine, Dad," she brushed him off.
"That's okay. I think I should be on my way," I said as I prepared to leave the Chasse house. I stepped away from them both.
"Wait," Autumn said. "When will we see you again?"
"You all have my number. Once everything settles down… and you're ready, just call."
Carter spoke up, "You're not leaving, right?" He wanted to make sure I wouldn't vanish completely from their lives.
"Not at the moment. I may have to disappear from time to time, but I'll always come back. As long as you'll have me, that is."
"We will," he assured.
I looked at Autumn, "I'll see you again." I meant it more as a question.
"Soon," she answered.
With that, I turned to the darkness of the trees and walked out of sight. I turned back towards the house as I heard them step back inside and pull the door closed behind them. They were safe. Locked down inside of their silver-warded home that no other creature could enter if they tried.
I continued into the darkness, back towards the city. My life had just started again, and answers had been given. Yet, more questions had arisen. However, time was on my side. I knew names would come, and I'd have to hunt. I knew that evil still crawled across the earth in every corner, just waiting to be snuffed out. I would oblige them.
Even though I was cast into this role, unwillingly, and I knew there was no escape, I was happy. For the first time in a long time, I had people who cared about me. The real me. The Chasses knew I was a monster. They knew there were things I hadn't told them and other things I still didn't know. It wasn't perfect, but for the first time, we were all on the same page. In time, who knew, maybe I'd tell them what I did know, or what I found out. Perhaps, one day, I'd tell them about the choice that I had made for Eleanor, if she didn't remember herself. They wanted me around, and that's the one thing I hung onto. They cared about me. For the first time in a very long time, I had people who cared about the real me. They were family.
I found myself sitting on top of a random building downtown, gazing out into the sea of city lights. I heard the noises: car engines, horns, talking, music, dogs barking, and all the sounds of life across St. Louis. It felt good. I felt like a part of this place for the first time since I darkened the shadows of this city.
The city pulsed below me, a patchwork of neon veins and blurred motion, alive with music and breath and human chaos. I sat above it all, perched on the lip of a rooftop like a forgotten ghost, half-lost in the ambient glow. But something… shifted.
It wasn't a sound, not exactly, but a pressure. A buzzing tension in the air that prickled across my skin like static, humming just above me, just out of reach. It felt aware. I tilted my head to look up, and it moved with me, as though it had been watching, waiting. The sensation thickened, pressing down. It was no longer just a hum; it was like a thread tethered to my spine, tugging.
And then, instinctively, my hands reached out into empty air. They touched something there, but not visible.
The night rippled. Reality bent like heat over asphalt. A shimmer coalesced in the void before me. What emerged was not immediate, but it phased in like it was clawing its way out of another plane. A long rifle solidified in my grip, its weight anchoring me back to the roof.
It was Jon's rifle, but not as I remembered it. The wood was no longer simple and worn; it was rich, dark-stained, and smooth like oil-polished ironwood, etched with carvings so fine they seemed burned into its grain: names, symbols, and glyphs from no language I knew. Some of them stretched faintly across the surface, carved like ink suspended in water. These sigils didn't stop at the wood. They climbed the barrel, curled around the trigger guard, snaked along the iron sights in patterns that shifted when I wasn't looking straight at them.
This was not the rifle Jon used in the fields. It was something older. Something awakened. And now, it was mine.
It throbbed faintly in my hands, not from heat, but from some deeper pulse, like it was breathing through my skin. The power inside it was alive, aware, and unnervingly patient. I didn't understand what I was holding.
Then suddenly… it began to change.
A rush of heat shot through the weapon, not warm but searing, glowing red like metal fresh from the forge. But I didn't drop it. It didn't burn. Instead, the rifle softened, warped, the form liquefying in impossible ways, folding in on itself without breaking apart. The long barrel sagged, melted, then twisted as it began to morph.
By the time the glow receded, the rifle was gone. In its place was a blade. It sat heavy and perfect in my hands. A weapon forged from darkness and mystery. Its profile was lean and long, somewhere between a shortsword and a cruel machete, the glinting metal etched with the same shifting glyphs as before… only now, they shimmered like stars caught beneath its surface. The wooden stock had collapsed into a sleek hilt of some dark oak, grain like veins. It was a hybrid of craftsmanship and something other… something ancient. There was no way this thing came from this world.
And yet, it fit into my hands like it had always been waiting for them. A single section of the blade's flat side still glowed red-hot. Then, as though branded by invisible hands, three jagged letters seared themselves into the metal.
SAM.
I stared as the glow cooled, the letters darkening to obsidian black. The weapon's energy quieted, retreating into slumber like some immense creature curling up inside itself. But I could still feel it… watching me from the inside.
This was no sword. No mere weapon. This was bound…
It belonged to me now. And somehow, I belonged to it. I could only whisper the one question clawing at my mind.
"What the fuck are you?"
Then, without warning, it vanished. Not faded, or shimmered, like the moment it arrived. The blade dematerialized from my hands, sucked back into the invisible space it had come from. I sat frozen, staring at my empty palms. The warmth lingered on my skin like a memory. It wasn't gone. Just hidden... waiting.
I reached out with my mind, trying to sense it like I had the first time… but it wasn't the same. It was distant… dormant, as if it had already chosen its moment and now slipped into silence.
I had questions… obviously, but it was just the newest on the long list. Answers would have to wait. I reached out with my mind, trying to feel for it like I had initially, but it wasn't there. Not like before. It was… odd.
It was hard, but I forced the excitement and the questions about this strange blade to the back of my mind for now. I got up from the roof and dropped into the alley below. I walked out of the shadows and into the city to find a new home.
That was the first question I'd find an answer to. I knew I'd never go back to that old factory again. That was from another life… a past life. I had just begun a new one, and I had a new idea on how to live it. My story had just begun.