Dudley and his friends once again used the Floo Network, traveling through the fireplace at the old Longbottom manor to get to Diagon Alley. While they could have gone elsewhere, Diagon Alley is always the best place to find everything needed for Hogwarts. Since they were only getting school supplies, Mrs. Longbottom didn't come with them. Most of their second-year supplies were the same as the previous year, so they only needed to buy new books.
Flourish and Blotts always has the most comprehensive collection of books, and you can buy nearly any book there as long as it isn't forbidden. Today, however, the bookstore was particularly crowded. A large crowd had gathered outside, and a huge banner was stretched across the top floor:
Gilderoy Lockhart Signing His Autobiography, Magical Me, Today from 12:30 P.M. to 4:30 P.M.
"Lockhart?" Neville muttered, looking at Dudley with a dry tone. "Dudley, I have a bad feeling about this."
Dudley nodded, confirming his fear. "I'd say your intuition is spot on. I think he's our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
As if on cue, a man's excited voice rang out from inside the bookstore. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am so pleased and proud to announce that this September, I will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
Neville's face was a mixture of disgust and disappointment. Hermione, on the other hand, had a different thought. Well, at least I had a Plan B. She silently looked at her booklist, which included two other titles: The Guide to Countering the Dark Arts and Practical Defensive Magic.
"Look! It's Harry Potter!" someone in the crowd shouted. Then the trio watched a man dressed like a peacock with a blinding smile wrap an arm around a very uncomfortable Harry. With the flashing of cameras, Harry just stood there with a tight-lipped, unhappy expression. He felt like he'd had nothing but bad luck since leaving Dudley's side. He was perfectly happy at the Burrow, a cozy home with great cooking from Mrs. Weasley—second only to Dudley's. Then some strange thing appeared and spouted nonsense about punishing him and stopping him from going back to school. He refused to listen, and the creature vanished. After that, all sorts of strange accidents started happening at the Burrow, and he was always around when they occurred. Now, he was at a book signing and was being forced to take pictures. He didn't like being famous, even if he was a celebrity in the wizarding world.
"Hey, what are you doing with that? Give it back!" a frantic shout caught Harry's attention.
He saw Dudley holding a large black camera. A short man was trying to snatch it back, but even when he jumped, he couldn't reach Dudley's shoulder.
"This is for the Daily Prophet! Do you hear me? The Daily Prophet!" After failing to get the camera, the short man glared at Dudley.
"So?" Dudley said, unfazed. He wasn't impressed by the paper, as it was a third-rate, garbage publication that had refused to publish his novel. "I think even the Daily Prophet should ask for permission before taking a picture. Harry doesn't want you to take his picture."
"You're not Mr. Potter, so how would you know?" he yelled, pushing at Dudley, who didn't budge. The man lost his balance and fell backward.
"Dudley!" Harry exclaimed, happy to see him. Then he remembered Lockhart was next to him. This is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Mrs. Weasley said he was very powerful. It's probably best not to offend him...
To Harry's surprise, Lockhart wasn't angry at all. Instead, he looked even happier. "Hey, look what I've found!" Lockhart's eyes lit up when he saw Dudley. "The Chronicles of the Dragonlance author... Professor Jerry."
He let go of Harry, and with a series of exaggerated but natural gestures, he began to make his way toward Dudley. "The one who just barely beat my own masterpiece, Magical Me, for the title of the most popular novel."
Lockhart's bold claim annoyed Hermione. As a loyal fan of Dudley's book, she knew it wasn't a "close call." It was a complete blowout.
Dudley wasn't surprised that Lockhart knew who he was. After all, the man had been the most popular author in the wizarding world for years and must have had many connections. Besides, Dudley had received a Third Class Order of Merlin in front of the entire school at the end-of-year feast. That award might not be worth much, but very few people had received one in the last few years, and Dudley was the only one last year.
"What a day! To find two celebrities in one small, simple bookstore," Lockhart said, walking up to Dudley. He had planned to pat Dudley on the shoulder like a senior mentor, but he found that Dudley was half a head taller than him.
I'm so sorry my store is so small, the bookstore owner thought, though a smile never left his face.
"Come on, let's take a picture together," Lockhart suggested.
"I don't think so, Mr. Lockhart," Dudley said, a firm refusal in his voice.
Dudley knew this was all for publicity. If he could get a picture with both Dudley and Harry, the next day's headlines would read, "Great News! Professor Jerry and Harry Potter Both Appear for Lockhart's New Book" or "Shocking! The Truth About the Mysterious Professor Jerry's Relationship with Lockhart." He hated being used, and besides, his main focus was on Hogwarts.
A commotion broke out in the crowd. "There's a fight over there!"
Inside Flourish and Blotts, two adult wizards were wrestling, with a pair of twins cheering them on. "Hit him, Dad!" "In the nose, Dad, in the nose!"
It was the Weasleys and the Malfoys.
"Aren't you going to say something, Draco?" Ron asked, walking over to Malfoy and gesturing with his head toward the fighting fathers. After the wizard's chess match, Ron and Malfoy's relationship had subtly changed, though they still argued and bickered all the time.
Malfoy was silent for a moment before shaking his head. "He looks like a little kid who lost an argument."
Father, when you told me to watch you, you didn't mean you were going to get into a fight with someone else, did you? And you're losing... How embarrassing.