"This wanna-be alpha system is pissing me off so much."
She says as she looked at the blue panel,
it says...
[ You may rest ! ]
Below the message was a 15 days / 24s hours / 60s seconds countdown.
It feels as if we're going to get bombed after that countdown.
I stared at her for a few seconds before looking at Akiyama Suzu and she shrugged in confusion yet worriedness had worn all over her face.
We were in thoughts of what she's thinking.
"Will there be other survivals?"
She muttered, her finger was pressed to the side. Then more questions had streamed all over her head.
She muttered every single question in her head, trying to figure out the answers.
And sadly, I already got all the answers to all those questions.
But because Yi Mei Lu had figured that out by herself without any help from us, while we were just staring her quietly.
Akiyama Suzu was impressed with her mindset, no other kids were this curious nor serious about such things.
And all that had led Yi Mei Lu to stay awake for the past few hours, biting the nail of her thumb as she continues to look at the countdown in frustration before she slowly fell asleep beside Akiyama Suzu.
She had to watch over her during those hours as she was worried of her going crazy.
While I, was sleeping peacefully with my crossed arms.
" Mei, you need some rest."
"Other—oh okay...!'
She said, pausing from typing something on the blue panel, turning to her with an expression, so energetic.
"I'll rest later"
Her hand reached out at the back of her, caressing as comfort.
"You don't have to figure it all."
That gentle touch and soft tone from only a mother would say to her child, even her voice is soothing. It feels like Mother God.
My ears perked and my shoulders had shivered seconds as she replies to her, the same feeling as her.
Even for so long, I could still remember her touch, the way she holds me.
It was all I could feel.
All that i want, and I want to return that kindness back to her.
Although they moved, I didn't fully wake up. I was still asleep.
Yi Mei Lu was too rapid. She could instantly catch a slight movements while even talking to her. She sighed in result, and answered.
"Fine, I'll try not to interfere"
Her voice changed a tone. It was quieter, like the wind passing by. Her small hands gripped tightly on her long skirt as she looked down, with her expression saddening slightly.
Akiyama Suzu took a hand to caress her back hair in circle, too. A small smile had appeared on her face as she stares down to her.
Even when her face had flushed in embarrassment of her actions, she gripped on her skirt tighter than earlier. She was still saddened of her words yet surprised with her gentle touch.
She doesn't know why she had felt it like that, it felt strangely comforting.
"Rest well, okay?"
Asked Akiyama Suzu. Slowly after, her hand slipped off of her hair. Moving back to give her space, glancing at her for more seconds before turning to the icey window.
Yi Mei Lu stared as she backed away, with her looking at the icey window. She looked over to me, who was sleeping while having arms crossed.
Her impression with the way i sleep was turned off, even her flushed face turned to be, as if displeased with it.
"He's quite the strange guy to sleep with his arms crossed..."
She pondered, her eyebrows arched. with her eye distorted.
She looked towards Akiyama Suzu again, to see her asleep just like me. Now she's even bothered. She's alone.
Her hands slipped its grip on her skirt, falling to the seat, looking at the front. It was just the same icey window.
Her eyes blinked rapidly when suddenly one blink later, a person with the same appearance as her appeared upon her. The lights became darker with the girl's neutral expression turned to a sinister smile.
She jerked and leaned to the seat in astonished.
"You..."
She spoked, frightened, even if the girl in front of her had the same appearance as her.
Her hands slowly reached out to wake up both me and Akiyama Suzu, calling out our names as she stares at the girl clearly in the eye.
Her eyes were starting to swallow in tears, it was starting to be difficult for her to breath, too.
Her heart arched and is beating every minute, frightened of the girl's gaze.
The girl then spoked,
"Emiley."
The girl repeatedly say the name again and again. In result, Yi Mei Lu's throat felt hurt, it was as if she was going to throw up. Even with a single word. *Why is that?
"Stop..."
"Shut up!"
She hesitated, her eyes were wide in scaredness. Even when that girl was in the same appearance , although she was strangely disturbing. There some slight mistakes of her eyes, hair and clothes.
A demon in disguise...?
Her eyes were just as black as hers, but they're both different. One is happy, one is sad.
There were no shine in her iris at all, as if she had been in a cage for a long time.
If this is resembling her heart, this is mischaracterizing!
But the more that girl had called out her name, she covered her mouth with her hands, about to throw up.
"Please... Do not call me that..."
She muttered, tears streaming down her cheeks, blinking to make sure this was a dream. She doesn't understand all of this at all, but she wants to.
She was looking down to the floor, her back arched and her hands were covering her ears, avoiding the girl's voice. The girl was upset. She stood there, looking at her with her smile no longer there.
A period of time later, the girl slowly walks towards her, crouching down to her mouth near her ear.
"Why are you so afraid? Emiley?"
With that, Yi Mei Lu had snapped and shouted once again.
"SHUT UP!"
Those were the only words she could think of? No. The only words that she tried to avoid saying to someone out of rejection and lack of confidence, but now here she is. Had finally said it.
But the thing is. She said it to someone that's not someone else but herself. It is herself that is upon her. Herself.
*Why did she say that to herself?
No. How and why?
What was really the reason to her lacking confidence and afraid of rejection?
Ever since young, she had never thought of anything negative about anyone. She had always loved and thinks positively about everyone; It was just her immaturity and early access to technologies that had her changed completely different.
Although she had changed, that doesn't say that she had thought of any negative about anyone now. She still loves everyone!
"I wonder if I could make everyone feel entertained."
What a delusional kid, she said that to herself. Assuming she's a god? Her mind wasn't like that, she hated negativity and will always be positive, right?
"Why did she even think of making people happy when she, herself, couldn't take good care of her own emotions and feelings?"
"Even her thoughts were messy since the beginning, she can't even keep things straight!"
She imagined those words come out from her own brain, the lies and the shadows from her brain. She really had nothing to do because they were signs. Signs.
Although she thought of them as just "Unfinished Clay". It is from art, right? She would definitely shape it more better later!
But everyday she played those clay, making them better. They would come up badly, out of embarrassment. Every creation, everything.
Past, Present, and Future.
To the Beginning and End
She wanted to rewrite all of it again, but to rewrite all of it was to die. She doesn't wanna off herself, God said it is a sin!
Of course she would live. It is a lucky fortune for her to force herself to stay confident and energized, huh?
Now she's going downfall! How was that? All of the actions and plays she had tried to do everyday, playing those games and making more clay, trying to give every single of them a better shape.
Every second. Every minute.. Every hour... Every day.... Every week... Every fortnights...! Every month...!!EVERY YEAR...!!!
"Yet another season to go through"
She is beyond crazy.
Those mask, she's really the fool herself. To think she could defeat against the invisible laws in life?
She'd never make everyone happy. She's just a human.
No matter how short the path is, there will never be a place for her to achieve that goal.
"Please notice me!"
Those words would've come out of her mouth if it wasn't for her "selfless" act, then what's the point of hoping if she's not even trying?
It really hurts from her brain, she couldn't think straight anymore.
"Later."