Night fell, and we started a campfire near the edge of a cliff. No monsters had appeared since we escaped the inside of those ruins and I had defeated that Greater Behemoth, so this was the perfect place to lie low. We would begin to head in at tomorrow's time, first thing at the crack of dawn.
For an abandoned city, even during the night, it still glowed hauntingly.
"They say those are the souls of the previous inhabitants, forever bound to this place for eternity…" Zeno said. "Or they're just fading monster remains. The first one sounds more poetic, doesn't it?"
The campfire crackled as we each relaxed with the meals packed for us by our Guilds.
My dish was a beautifully plated bento of sticky rice with sesame seeds, a sweet-and-savory layered omelet filled with sweetened rice flour, fried chicken pieces marinated in soy sauce, garlic, and ginger with vegetables. Next to it was seasoned salmon wrapped in nori.
"By the Keeper, Greed. That looks fricken delicious…" Ryo said as he drooled and lurked.
"Yup. Jo and Code made it for me. Bet it tastes better than it looks," I replied.
"I bet it does… I bet if you eat the small fried chicken pieces with a piece of the omelet and a piece of the cabbage, and maybe some of the stringed carrot, it would taste so good!" Ryo added…
"Mhm…"
"Oh, I bet if you eat the salmon and then the omelet and then the fried chicken pieces and then the vegetables, it would taste so wonderful…"
"Yup… that's what normally happens when you're eating mixed foods…"
"I bet that if you eat the salmon and then the omelet and then the rice, and then you do the same with the fried chicken pieces, and then you do it again—crazy right?—with the vegetables… ooohh…"
I glowered at him as I raised a bite of my food to my mouth, and he watched me do it…
"You should try this piece with that one—"
"Ryo! Fuck off!" I shouted, finally.
He raised his hands in front of him like he hadn't been instigating. And Rex laughed in the background as if he was watching his favorite sitcom.
"Greed," Rex said to me so seriously as I saw him having yet to take a bite or even open his meal. "You owe me an explanation, remember?"
I gulped down the bite I had just taken.
"You had two weeks to ask him and you're barely asking him now?" Snow snickered.
"With everything going on, the last thing Greed needed was me prying to his business. But now that we have some downtime and that last battle he had with that Behemoth…" he shifted his gaze to me and I witnessed the crackling flames reflect from his star-shaped eyes. He said nothing more, leaving the rest for me to pick up.
"Alright," I said nonchalantly. "I suppose you deserve an explanation."
I proceeded to tell them what they already knew: my 'magic' was not magic at all. It was Tantra. And I had been able to use it for as long as I remember.
I went as far as telling them the first time I had awakened the ability and the people I met along the way. Asura, 1st Exec, and one other…
I told them of all the adventures we'd been through prior to transitioning to the Valley, how Asura taught me how to channel my newfound strength despite not being able to use Tantra himself—that was the other man's job—and how the Black Wolves originally started. I left out the details of our previous occupation, of course, due to a sworn oath we all took until the time was right to reveal it. Of which… I had no idea when that time would be or what would trigger it… so I left that part out of my tale. They didn't pry into it anyway.
"So, that's the story!" Zeno said after having been invested.
"More or less…" I replied.
"So, you're telling me, when you came to the Valley, you were already a select for the Black Wolves? That's not very fair." Snow commented.
"Not quite. After disbanding, the plan was to retreat to the Valley, but Asura told us he'd be treating us like he didn't know us at all. If I had done poorly during the Guild Draft, he would have never selected me."
"I find that hard to believe…" Snow said. "Your relationship with Asura is much like mine and old-man Jecht's. He may be a hardass, but deep down, the guy's big softy."
"You're probably right. The Black Wolves were the newest Guild anyway. It took me longer than expected to get to the Valley due to some personal duties… and by the time I made it, Asura had already recruited Code as his 1st Vice Captain and made the other guy his 1st Exec."
"Personal duties…" Rex superciliously said.
"Yeah…" was all I said in turn.
"Hmm… Okay! Go on!" he said like a turn of a page, never to return back to it.
"Also," Zeno added. "I noticed you always call your 1st Exec by his title and never by name. You do know we all know who he is right?"
"Do you?" I replied secretively.
"I see…" he was silent for a good while, letting the popping campfire fill the soundless space. "So many secrets Greed. You know, secrets don't make friends right?"
"Sorry. There's still a lot that's blacked out that I don't have the right to share just yet. Not until the right time… Whenever that may be."
"We might be long dead before that time ever comes!" Rex joked.
Snow whipped his head to him irritably and said, "Bro, what did I say about death jokes?"
"Oh yeah… My bad."
We bantered until late at night. Reminiscing about the Kingdom's Guild Draft, talking about girls, and even some tips for Snow and Rex on how not to be a total simp.
"Honestly, guys, I think you may be trying too hard with them," I said, referring to Ophelia and Star, "You just gotta stop looking so desperate." They looked like a bunch of school kids taking notes.
"How about Jo?" Rex asked a bit too carelessly, and I interrupted him with a fierce glower.
"She's barely eighteen, you pervert. Jo's off limits until further notice." The glower on my face turned into a harsher scowl.
"Okay, okay… we get it, you're like her big bro." Rex was silent, all too awkwardly. "Just let us know when the notice is up…"
I headlocked him, and Snow spat out his food at Rex's demise. "Who's next? Alice? You know I hate predators!"
"She's… pending… on… the market…"
I headlocked him tighter, choking the life out of him now.
"I saw chicks all over you in the Silver Shark's Den. Why are you asking me when you clearly can get any girl you want? Why the obsession with the Black Wolves chicks—Ophelia most of all?" I asked, shifting my attention to Snow while I still proceeded to effortlessly dispose of Rex.
"This guy? With girls all over him? What, did you pay those chicks? He probably paid them… They were definitely prostitutes," Rex said, still in my headlock.
Snow was visibly irritated at his words and blew up, "They weren't prostitutes, dick breath!" he calmed down and closed his eyes, pointing with a fork, "They were just some fans that we invited over, no biggie… I don't know, man, I could pass up Star—she's fine, but you're right, I don't think I can handle her personality. She's a bit… 'insane'." He twirled the fork in a circular fashion to his ear.
I chuckled at that and repeated, "A bit…"
"Cool. More for me. I like a little crazy…" Rex said as I released him and gave him a disgusted look.
"But Ophelia… man…" Snow said as he looked up at the stars like he was daydreaming, "She's a keeper, I don't know why you guys were just a fling before, Dweeb, if that was me… I'd wife her up in a heartbeat."
"You still didn't give me a reason… this just sounds like obsession," I said blandly.
"I WASN'T DONE YET!" he shouted, cleared his throat, and went on, "She's loyal, she has your back, she looks at you like you're everything to her."
As Snow began to say all these things, I hadn't realized how true it all was. I always treated her as some floozy, but when I thought about it, she didn't sleep with anyone else except me at the time. And I knew her past, too, extorting her body for money… but that all stopped when she and I hooked up for a bit.
"And lastly," Snow went on, like he was about to help me realize something huge, "She's a two-for-one package! If I marry her, I get her AND Raeyn!" I threw a rock at his temple after he said that. Stupid idiot.
His head thrashed backward, bloody nose and all, as he asked, "Oh, come on! You can't tell me when you guys fucked that it was just Ophelia… you technically slept with her sister too!"
I didn't have the confidence to say no to that… there were times when we had slept with each other that it felt like another girl. Her presence seemed… dominant… for lack of a better expression. It was the complete opposite of Ophelia's natural carefree personality. I thought it was just my imagination, but when I really thought about it…
"See… this is why you're a hoarder. And this is why your name will forever be Dweeb!"
We bantered some more as Zeno and Ryo talked about their last battle and the structures of both their Mana Fusions. After another thirty minutes of shenanigans, he even broke down the basics for Mana Diffusions to the rest of us, teaching Ryo, Snow, and Rex all the while.
"Greed, you don't even have any mana to Diffuse… why are you trying to learn too?" Zeno asked.
"It's always better to understand, right?" I confirmed.
"Yeah, but it's useless knowledge. You're better off learning how to better use a skill you're already good at."
"Huh? Like what?"
"Gee, I don't know… How about Tantra? It's better to turn an eight to a ten rather than a two to a five, you know what I mean? Cause' if you do that then at the end of the day it's still a five compared to your already eight which you could have honed to a higher state."
"Bars." Rex commented. To which Zeno rolled his eyes.
"Huh… I never thought of it that way." I said, putting my fingers to my chin to think, "But, what if all your skills are a ten and you wanna learn a new skill to hone?"
"Now you're just cocky. If that's what you wanna do, why don't you start practicing basic mana control?" He snickered, and Ryo, Snow, and Rex snorted.
"Dick," I said back, kicking him from where I sat—smiling afterward.
"Fun fact. Did you know Tubolt considered picking you over me at the Draft?" Zeno asked, sparking up a new topic.
"Gross."
"Aye. He said the same randomly during dinner this one time—Remember when I told you I almost chose that mutt over you? If you could do me a huge favor and forget that I ever said that, that would be most wonderful."
"Well, you're not doing a great job at the 'forgetting' part."
They told stories of the past five years after we got drafted to different Guilds, some exciting, some utterly boring, but I basked in all of it.
"Thanks, you guys," I said almost randomly.
They looked at me with raised brows.
"Thanks for what, Greed?" Ryo asked.
"For everything. For choosing to come with me. For letting me stop by to see Asura before we headed over here… All of it."
Snow huffed a low approval and then said, "Didn't you thank us for that already?"
"Didn't you thank us before we left the Valley?" Rex added.
I thought about it, and I really had. I guess I just didn't want to let this feeling go, and the only way I knew to keep it was just to just keep saying 'thanks'.
"Let me make one thing clear with you, brother," Ryo spoke up again. The campfire crackled softly now in the background, matching the mood. "Even if it were to be something ridiculous, if you have reason to do something, all you have to do is ask, and each one of us won't hesitate to back you up. That's just how it is, so you don't have to constantly say thank you to us. It is unnecessary."
"Yeah, besides, this is totally unlike you. What happened to the cool and nonchalant Greed that I look up to?" Rex asked.
I trailed my eyes to the fire and just watched it burn. The night sky became more prominent; the stars were glistening, and you could see the whole universe from above. Sometimes I looked at them, not as stars, but as sentient beings proceeding with a mundane chore, and the mere movement for them—whether it was simply taking a step or picking their fucking nose—was equivalent to the full course of our life. Like bacteria on a random pebble.
I thought too much of it.
"These last few events have tested my control. I thought I could preserve what I already had by just keeping my head down and going with the flow… but sometimes the flow is a current, and you don't know if you're going to hit a rock and crash out or make it through unscathed. I thought my life couldn't get any better after I met Asura, made friends with you all, and then the Black Wolves, and then Belle, and now the whole Valley… but the more I receive the more, I fear I have to lose…" I was still looking at the stars when I finished that sentence.
They were all silent. The only sounds were the stillness in the air and the continuous soft snapping of the campfire, which still burned brightly.
"I have a confession to make to you all… It's about what happened with the Blue Phoenixes and Syemore." I said.
But before I could continue, Zeno interjected, "We know, friend."
I looked at him, confused. Snow said the same but added, "Yeah, I hate to say that I found out too, it's cause' Marley took a peek in your mind in the Warriors' Keep during the Tournament and told me about it. To be frank, I couldn't believe it at first, but then I thought, 'It's Greed, ' that guy can do fucking anything. So, I kept it to myself until you were ready to tell us."
"The fuck!?" Rex griped.
"What, you idiot?"
"Why'd you let Marley take a peek in Greed's head? That's fucking rude!"
"I didn't ask her to do that! She did it, she told me, and I found out. But I kept my mouth shut like a good friend. What about you? You found out as well if you wanna be mad about someone prying, be mad at yourself!" Snow barked.
"Unlike you," Rex countered, "I found out myself. On accident. I've always wondered… how you were always able to get out of sticky situations. Like when you were in the hourglass or when we ran into Alphonzo and Henza, and you broke Henza's Bonding magic like he had never even cast it. And then when Alphonzo said that curious thing, 'Did Symore use my magic against you when you fought him?'… That was a weird thing to say, even as a joke… it wasn't even funny!" Rex crossed his arms, and his eyes were squinted, "And then I remembered seeing you with black wings over the Valley and Belle—and then Zeno called you out that you use Tantra… that's when I realized…"
"Gee, it didn't hit you the first time when you saw him with Belle and fucking black wings? Thanks for the filler episode, Bug Boy." Snow jabbed.
"Whatever, we can argue later," Rex replied, the most mature he's ever sounded, "Anyway, Greed. Point is, we knew. We were just waiting for you to up and say it. I'm sorry I demanded an explanation out of you. I was just surprised my allegations were actually true. Even though you hid it from us and lied that your magic was 'Copper magic' it was me who chose to believe it, even though it was blatantly untrue." He said lastly with a wide grin on his face.
When I looked at Ryo, he held a soft grin and nodded. I didn't even need to say anything.
It was then that Zeno wrapped an arm around me, smiled, and said, "So what about that incident?"
I looked back to the fire before I spoke. When I did, there was a weight to it that I did not know how to correctly express. "When I lost control… a lot of people died."
They fell silent. Allowing me to tell.
"Those wings you saw on me were a manifestation of an unknown power I still know little to nothing about… Yes, I had found out it was Tantra, but Tantra doesn't have form—yet it does with me. And it feels like it's constantly evolving. When I finally regained my sanity, it was too late. Many were dead, and I was holding the hand of a young girl without the rest of her attached."
Still, unmoving silence. Crackling fire. And the sounds of distant chirping crickets. That was all that filled the air.
"Days later, I finally went to see her mother—a widow. Also a mother to a son whom she may never see again, and does not know if he is even alive or dead, and a daughter she will never see ever again. I took away the last positive thing she had left of this world, leaving her only solitude with her sickness." I inhaled and exhaled slowly. "And yet here I am, the Savior from the Shadows, blessed with instant fame in the Valley, a badge of honor, a top-ranked Guild, and the lead of this team for this mission… while a poor mother in the Valley has effortlessly lost everything. And not just her, many others who lost their lives that day—and more during the incident with Pride. It's a heavy weight to bear. And my fear is that the more I receive, the more I am bound to lose."
A pause as I reiterated the last part.
"And then seeing Asura like that… when I saw him, he was so fragile… yet it was only he that stood in the way of that rift and the rest of us. Yes, he succeeded, but there will come a day when he is no longer strong enough to keep it closed. And if he fails, then so do we… I understand that he did it for the Valley, but what is the purpose of success if the price is losing everything?"
At this point, I had successfully shifted the air to a more solemn and depressing state. I almost hated myself for it. I didn't have to ruin the mood like that…
But they let it brew. Not trying to diffuse the topic. Not trying to lighten or change the mood like I had hoped. It was as if they understood everything I was trying to express, and faced it alongside me.
"That is one question I hope to find an answer for one day," Ryo said, an unexpected answer—even from him. "Truth is, I'm not sure that when I finally do find the answer to that, that I'll be satisfied with it. Because as we proceed to do what is right and do good, no good deed goes unpunished."—he looked upward to the stars—"And yet, there is this burning within me that always says to do it anyway."
"But what's the point?" I asked, testing his resolve.
"The point, my friend, is that even if we manage to change the world, our actions will still amount to nothing anyway. No one will remember who the first person to change it was, no one will care. So, because of that… why not do it anyway? At least the life would be worth living rather than trudging through it with no purpose. Do you not long for the happy moments in life? Was it not you who told me that is all you fight for?"
I only listened.
"All the things you've received were a result of the good deeds you have done. Whether or not it is reciprocated should not matter. Why else would you turn down the right to be acknowledged the first time you saved the Valley? No one knew it was you. Just us and a few others who matter. That was enough for you, wasn't it? Even when people still ridiculed you unbeknownst to them that they were ridiculing their own savior…"
When Ryo's eyes met mine, it was so pure. So passionate. I could literally see his heart as he was saying these things. And all he had been doing was reminding me of what I had already known.
"But you did not care either way because that's just how you are!"
"Life is unpredictable, Greed…" Zeno said next. "And so is the path ahead. It's uncertain for all of us. But we are a team, and what matters most is that we stand together against it. It's not about controlling the future; rather, it's how we handle the challenges as they come. It's more so about the journey than the outcome. That is what truly defines us. The five of us here—if we fail, we fail together, and if we succeed, we share that victory."
Zeno was the most introspective and wise of the five of us. He always had a gift for shining light from a different angle—an angle I needed to see. And it was his sensitive heart that allowed him to see things that way.
"Man… that was deep… but I agree," Snow replied. It was his turn now. "And also, man… You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You've already done more than enough getting us this far—even though you only did one thing back there when we were trying to escape this fucking mountain…"
"Two… I fended off that Behemoth."
"You had to do that. It was the only way for you to save face for only contributing to one thing from our escape plan!"
We all shared a chuckle after he said that.
"Kidding, obviously, but anyway—the future may be uncertain, but it's not your fuckin responsibility to carry the weight of everything all alone!"—he spread his arms where he sat—"You don't even need to forgive yourself, or keep saying thanks because you think it's what you have to do or what we want to hear! After all, some things are beyond any of our control. If it were up to me, I'd have you all under me in the Silver Sharks… even this moron!" he said, pointing a thumb to Rex now.
To which he snapped at him, "The fuck! You really think I'd be under you, fish breath Mcgee!?"
They exchanged slurs with each other for a moment as we all watched, chuckling at them all the while. All this random laughing amidst the weight of the mood I brought was actually helpful. Even though it was just for momentary bliss. Even though we pass through some of the darkest times, there is always room for laughter and hope. In a way, it reminded me of what Ryo had just said—Do you not long for the happy moments in life? Was it not you who told me that is all you fight for?
It pissed me off how often he was right… But it made me happy at the same time.
Rex then stood up and stomped a foot down, pointing at me in an obnoxious way as he said, "Listen here, Greedy, we are not here to dwell on uncertainties. Sure, the future is unclear, but we've been in tough spots before—look at the fucking mountain we came from!"—his voice echoed through the vastness of the place, carrying it within its still winds—"The Zion Orb is important, yes, but so is this—right here, right now. This time we are spending together, our bond. This group is strong, and we will face whatever happens together."
Rex was a goof, but I shut up and listened to his words. There was a reason his team back in the Green Owls looked up to him so much. And for him to be a new Captain to a new Guild of the Valley—the Yellow Jackets—I'd say, out of all of us, he might just be the most qualified for his position. He earned it after all.
"You have to remember," he went on, "that despite the dangers and the possibility of failure, there is also the possibility of success. The success of us overcoming the odds together. It doesn't matter what comes after, that's not the point! What matters is the path and the moment of achieving. To me, that's a goal worth pursuing together, no matter the risks."
I swore I had only been listening, but when Rex concluded his speech, he stopped and looked at me. His expression changed like he had said something wrong. And when I watched him, I had thought it was just his bipolar-like quirks, but it was not only him. Snow, Zeno, and Ryo all looked at me with worry in their eyes.
And that's when I felt a drip of water on my wrist. The drip turned into more, and then into a stream that waterfalled off my face. Am I fucking crying right now?
Ryo smiled, causing a ripple among them to do the same as I said, "Keeper… fuck you guys."
They laughed at my quiet sobbing as we remained around this campfire that continued to crackle and flow with our friendship.
"I can't believe what Rex said made you cry… was what he said that bad?" Snow joked.
"Hey! I was a Vice Captain and now a Captain for a reason! I know how to inspire people, too, you know!" Rex griped, back to his normal self.
"Perhaps, it was Snow's fish breath that made him cry!" Zeno joked. They didn't see it coming as both Snow and Rex remained silent to his random comment.
Rex laughed hysterically shortly after.
"What the hell, Zeno!? You gonna hop on this guy's bandwagon too!?" he held his hands to his mouth and started breathing into them, "Do I really have fish breath?"
Rex's cackle was lunatic at this point, "He's actually checking! HAHAHA!"
"I AM GOING TO SQUASH THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOUR ANNOYING WASP ASS, BUG EYES!" Snow shouted as he began chasing Rex around us.
Ryo then held out a fist to the fire. The wisping flares glinting off his yellow eyes. And that unwavering smile plastered on his face. Zeno saw him, and then eventually did the same.
When Rex and Snow saw them, they stopped their chase, and each held out their fists to the fire as well. The only one left now was me.
"Well, my friend? Like old times. What say you?" Ryo said.
They each looked at me with smiles of anticipation. When they did this, it reminded me of the end of the Kingdom's Guild Draft, and we had made a similar pact, and then again over beer in the Valley. This one was slightly different, though, with the campfire at the center of us now.
They waited patiently for me to raise my fist as Rex commented, "Last one as usual, huh Dweeb?"
When I did, it was slow and full of memories. I thought of each moment we spent, all the good times we had together throughout this journey, and even my crew back at home. Asura. Belle. They had all come to mind as I was reminded of why I press on. If nothing else, I do it for them.
As my fist finally made it over the fire with theirs, Ryo spoke, "Let this be a new pact. One similar to the one five years ago, but slightly different and revamped! Let this be a promise to the five of us to carry the weight of our burdens together. Let this be a reminder that we are not alone on our journey. Let us recall this moment, and when we do, may it be a signifier of a friendship that will never die." he paused for a moment as he slightly lowered his head. When he did, he began sniffing softly and teared up. "If you don't remember anything else from today, just know… you are all my brothers."
When he said this, Zeno began to tear up as well, and then Snow and Rex as we ended the night on this note.
How did I get so blessed? A guy with no magic and a sin for a name. How did I find such support through all the hardships I went through? Even after death…
The answers didn't matter. The only things that did were these moments.
As we let out our sobs over the fire, the stars and the cosmos above glinted as if they were dancing above us. Like the sentients above actually saw our miniscule selves for more than just a blink of life. A perfect coming together after the trip we had made to get here. For tomorrow, we knew not what lay ahead, but we knew we would face it together.
Thank you. Rex. Snow. Zeno. Ryo. For helping me remember and for walking with me on this journey. I really did form the right team for this mission.
***
**A random memory**
What makes a great Captain? I asked.
Choco Bars.
Fuckin' what?
I'm joking. What the hell do you think, you damn brat? Asura replied, and then turned away to let me brew in the silence, saying only a single word to end the thought,
Trust.