MATHIAS
Donde todo comenzó
Sweden, Stockholm
A year and a half later
The color white is supposed to bring calm, especially in places like this, but it only makes it worse. I kept walking down the halls; the smell of cleaning products flooded my nostrils. A few meters ahead, I spotted the figure of that man so familiar to me, standing at the door of his room.
-Any news, Steven? -I ask as soon as I see him.
-Apparently, the involuntary movements are just side effects, very common in his condition.
-So... there's no certainty he'll wake up? -I ask.
-No, there isn't, sir.
-What have I told you about calling me "sir," Steven? I'm not forty.
-Sorry, young man. -I gesture for him to leave.
Without him nearby, I get ready to enter the room. I freeze for a few seconds, then sigh and move forward. Seeing her sleeping there on that cot with all those machines, I can't help but feel guilty, 'but it had to be this way, she wanted it this way.' All this time she's been trapped in a sleep that seems endless. Every time a sign appears that she might wake up, I fill with hope that then fades as soon as I get here.
-Even in your state... you keep playing with me.
I sit down on one of the chairs nearby, but first, I bring it closer so I can hold her hand. It's so cold I'd swear she wasn't alive, if it weren't for the monitor clearly showing her heartbeat.
-You don't know how many times I've regretted going through with that plan, Serene -I hold back the rage I feel towards myself-. You shouldn't have trusted me.
I can't stop thinking about everything that happened, what I could have prevented. A lump forms in my throat, showing how much I want to cry, while my mind brings me back to that memory...
"Switzerland
A year and a half earlier,
a week before the end
I swear seeing her laugh, playing with Nyra and Ragnar, was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. If someone told me now that this girl is a serial killer, I wouldn't believe it, I couldn't even consider the idea.
We were enjoying a peaceful day, just the four of us at the metropolitan park. The weather was perfect, the sound of birds spectacular. We looked like teenagers in love, having a simple but satisfying date.
The sway of her hips drove me crazier and crazier, 'how could such a gesture be so sexy?'. Her face showed such a genuine smile, and in her eyes I could see happiness. She enjoyed this as much as I did.
-Stop looking at me like an idiot -she says when she arrives, coyly, then gives me a peck on the lips and sits beside me.
-That'll be harder than I thought -I answer.
-It's very easy, Ludwig. Easier than you think. -We both look at the waning duo still playing.
The countdown was already running, chaos was near, so I wanted to enjoy this moment as much as possible. Although my thoughts wouldn't let me be fully present, how could I be? Everything could go wrong, everything could take an unexpected turn.
-You don't have to worry about anything, everything will turn out perfect -she replies like she read my mind.
-How do you know? How can you be so sure, Nefertary?
-It's easy, those two don't expect anything. Their egos are so big they truly believe you're on their side.
-She wants to end you after you finish with Egil, Nefertary. That woman wants me to kill you. -She turns her gaze from the front to me. Her blue eyes, with that hint of gray, have a calmness that makes me fall into them.
-And that's exactly what you'll do. You'll give her the satisfaction... to think that.
-Are you aware of what you're asking? -I reproach her.
-You've been practicing your aim all this time. I trust you'll do it well. I've seen it myself, Mathias. -I decide to look ahead, breaking eye contact.
-I can't, I ca-
She cuts me off with a kiss. How can I refuse to keep going? Her lips are ecstasy that keeps me alive, that keeps me standing through all this. I pull her closer to erase that little distance that annoys me. One of my hands rests on her hips, while she places her arms on my shoulders, her fingers playing with my hair.
-You can. I know you can prove to her that you can manage without me -she says, breathless-. After that, the two of us will create our new empire in Sweden. We'll start over there.
She joined our mouths again, delighting me with such precise movements that knew exactly how to make me fall at her feet without objection. "
After killing Natasha, Steven showed up with the men and paramedics to take her to the cabin. I remember I just prayed the bullet hadn't hit any vital nerves, because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I couldn't forgive myself for ending my wife's life.
" A month before the final game
-Are you sure? -I ask, as the judge arrives.
-I need to secure my assets, I'm not leaving anything to the Zieglers. I'm more than sure I want to be Mrs. Ludwig. -That made me laugh.
-Then... what are we waiting for to have you wear my last name? "
I couldn't be more nervous, filled with fear as if someone was going to stop it. That day I had so many mixed emotions. Not that I didn't want to marry her, I just didn't imagine it like that. Though it was a short and secret act, I definitely enjoyed every second of that moment. We were finally just the two of us.
So... that's how I technically inherited all of Ibagon's fortune, that of her mother Vanessa, Natasha's as well, since apparently they had signed an agreement to keep the other's assets if any suffered an accident. Since Nefertary was legally my wife, those assets became mine.
After Ziegler's suicide at the mansion, it was a whole show, a total scandal in the media. The speculations never stopped. The disappearance of Egil and Natasha didn't help either. The great Gretchen Ziegler used her influence to maintain control. It was hard, but after four months she succeeded. A month later she passed away. Everything seemed like a dream.
"-You have to fake my death and destroy my empire so she believes I finally fell. Promise me you'll do it.
-I swear I will. "
And that's what I did. Nefertary Ibagon died that night in Switzerland. That same day, her empire fell. Of course, after they stabilized her and moved her to a cabin far from the others, with all the instruments ready for any complications that might arise. After two months of waiting for the doctor to give the green light to take her out of the country under a new identity, she arrived in Sweden... and has remained in a coma ever since.
I had to tell all this to my father, who couldn't believe the double life I had been leading these past months. He processed everything for a month. He had no choice but to accept my decision to come here. Besides, I was already an adult; I could fend for myself with everything Nefertary left me. But I needed him for business because I was still a kid for that. On the other hand, I couldn't leave immediately. I had to wait six months to be by her side, to make sure nothing looked suspicious, wait for paperwork to receive the properties, especially to make sure none of the Zieglers came for her. To be certain everyone believed the story of her death. I was thankful that days before that infernal chaos, we had finished school. We only missed graduation, though to be honest, we would have been there just out of formality.
I kept my promises. I fulfilled every promise. We were here. I was building the empire, though I was missing a queen to rule by my side. I couldn't keep doing it alone. Even though Steven was with me, it wasn't the same. I needed her. I need her to come back, to wake up... I need to see her eyes.
I got up to grab one of the books on the shelf, a poetry book.
-Something new won't hurt you -I say, and I can imagine what she'd say: 'If you say so... I still prefer fantasy books a thousand times over.'
-But I've spoiled you enough with those. Maybe doing something that annoys you will make you come back -I answer, or rather, I answer the air.
Two hours passed like that, where I read some pages to her, watched her until finally, I decided to leave.
✧────── ༉───✦───༉ ─────✧
Four months later
Four months. Four damn months had passed... and she was still the same. My frustration grew. I had to vent it out in my self-defense classes, in extra sports I signed up for to find some peace of mind, to avoid falling into the abyss.
My routine consisted of going to university, language courses, sports, hospital visits, supervising the construction of that bloody kingdom I was building, seeking alliances in this country, above all, making myself respected and finding my place in it.
-Are you going to see her? -my father asks, sitting on the couch, reading a finance book.
-Of course -I reply curtly.
-Mathias... -I gesture for him to stop.
-Stop playing that broken record -I say neutrally. I don't want to argue with him, I can't afford to lose him.
-I just... I feel like you're wasting your life on false hopes. -Those words hurt, pierced my chest, because they were also true.
-I know it hurts you, but... if mom were in the same situation, father, wouldn't you do the same? -He squints for a few seconds-. Wouldn't you cling to that hope, father?
-I...
-You would. Because just as you dedicated so much time to business, you'd do the same if you had the slightest chance to have her back.
He says nothing. What I said is true. He knows it. How could you give advice or an answer to someone without lying to yourself? Unless you're a perfect liar who even believes your own lies. He just sets the book aside, giving a nod of approval to what I said.
With nothing else holding me here, I leave the mansion. I get in the car to finally leave the property. The hospital is about a half-hour away, but before I arrive, I stop by a greenhouse and buy some flowers.
When I walk through that door, the receptionist nurse doesn't hesitate to greet me, as does the other medical staff. Technically, it's like I work with them, 'obviously, after coming here so often, I'm practically part of the family.' Officially, I seemed like just another intern.
I took the elevator up to the fourth floor. As always, it was busy, rarely empty. Of course, at this hour, it was common to see family members of other patients. When the doors open, I step aside so others can get out first. They do, and I don't hesitate to imitate the gesture as well. Most take other directions while I continue down that all-too-familiar path until I reach her room door.
-Any news? -I ask the man I hired to guard her and especially to keep an eye out for any updates.
-None, young Ludwig. -I nod just as the door opens and a nurse comes out.
She smiles at me and, of course, I return the gesture. Without further ado, I'm next to go in. As I do, that nostalgia invades my body again. I exhale and inhale the air entering and leaving my lungs, then walk toward her, placing a kiss on her forehead.
-I don't know how much I miss you, monster -I close my eyes for a moment.
I wish I could stay this close all day. With all the sorrow, I pull away from her. One hand strokes her hair, which grows longer every day, 'who would've thought that change would give her such an angelic air.'
-I brought you your favorite flowers, since the others were too wilted.
I don't wait for a response, as it would just pull me into my fantasy, lose all sense of time, so I set out to replace the old orchids with the fresh ones I brought.
I continued my routine, or rather my ritual, of telling her the news, venting, and lastly, reading a book to her. This time, it really was one of her fantasy books; I'm even getting interested in the story myself.
-Tomorrow we'll continue with the next chapters -I say as I close the book.
I keep staring at her for what feels like an eternity. Just seeing her like this... unleashes a wave of bitterness and sadness that floods my eyes with tears, which I let fall, let take their path, be free. I spend a few minutes like that, venting, letting myself feel the pain of not having her, because even though my eyes see her sleeping, it's not the same as hearing her voice, seeing her walk toward me, feeling her hands on my cheeks. I sigh, undo all those thoughts. I don't need a breakdown, not today.
-I'll wait for you, even if it takes an eternity -I say in a voice so hoarse from crying. Then I get up to place a kiss on her forehead-. I'm yours, Serene... 'forever yours' -I whisper.
I pull away from her with a pain in my soul, from doing that simple and insignificant action that would mean nothing to others but means everything to me... to me it's something inexplicable what I feel every time I leave the person I love.
I turn toward the door when I hear noises coming from her bed. I freeze, processing everything, questioning my brain... until I hear it:
-Mathias.