Los Angeles | 2010
Bradley's POV
The sound of the alarm blared into my consciousness. I cracked my eyes open, the morning light a painful intrusion. Since my reincarnation, there has never been a day where I felt like not getting out of bed. Today, however, that need was felt with a primal ferocity. The only question that hung in my mind was why? Where had I, where had we, gone wrong?
I didn't want to go to school today, but I knew that hiding would only make it worse. The sheer thought of stepping out of bed and facing the shitstorm of social pressure made my feet heavy, but I had to do this. I slowly stepped out of bed and made my way to get ready.
After going through the motions of a routine that felt hollow and robotic, I was ready to head out. I made my way downstairs to find Mom sitting by the kitchen island, reading the paper. Dad was nowhere to be found. When she saw me, she smiled.
"Good morning, honey. How are you feeling today?" she asked jovially.
"Morning, Mom. I feel okay. Don't feel like going to school, though," I admitted. When she frowned, I clarified, "I will, though. Just expressing the mood is all. By the way, did Dad leave early?"
"Yes, he did," she said with an irritated sigh. "Something about Russian activity near Sevastopol. Even after their dissolution, the ghost of the Soviets never fails to leave us."
I grabbed a toast and sat across from her, the bread dry and tasteless in my mouth. I contemplated telling her about what was going through my head. Mom and I had gotten close ever since I revealed how my relationship with Alex was going. She might have some insight, but I also feared the reproach she might give me for my actions.
In the end, I decided to gamble my chances. I needed help.
"Mom?" I said, my voice uncertain.
"Yes, honey?" she replied, her eyes still on the paper.
"Um… about yesterday."
As soon as she heard the words, she placed the newspaper back on the table, her full, undivided attention locking onto me.
I took a shaky breath. "So the thing is... Alex and I got into a heated argument. We said some things that were very hurtful to each other." I looked up, meeting my mom's patient gaze. "She—she blames me for her not having any friends. She said that I am the reason she feels isolated at school."
"What did you say to her when she said all these things to you?" Mom asked, her voice calm and even.
"I lost control, Mom," I admitted, the words coming out in a frustrated rush. "I told her that she was being unfair and that she is the reason for her not having friends. I was just venting my own feelings. But then she blamed me for rejecting Jenna's confession and not apologizing properly, which led to Jenna running a campaign of isolation against Alex."
"And did you?" she asked, her question sharp and precise.
"Did I what?"
"Apologize to Jenna after declining her confession?" That was the core of the matter, wasn't it. She stared right into my eyes.
"I—I did, but Alex says that the apology was flaky and half-hearted," I said, a wave of shame washing over me as I remembered in retrospect the brief dismissive encounter.
"What did you tell Jenna then?" she probed gently.
"I met her by her locker and told her, 'I am sorry that I wasn't able to reciprocate your feelings, and I hope we can be friends in spite of all this,' and then I left for class."
"And after that day," Mom asked, her voice still quiet, "how much of a bond or friendship has existed between you and Jenna?"
Her question made me churn the past few months in my head. I saw a montage of moments: Jenna waving at me in the hall and me giving a curt nod back; her trying to talk to the guys at lunch and me being focused on a play, effectively ignoring her; her name coming up for a group project and me pushing for Alex to be on my team. I realized that she was right. I had, in fact, completely pushed her out. She had left the cheer team and also stopped hanging out with us.
"I see that you realize now, how your actions affected the people around you, honey," Mom said softly.
"But how is this my fault?!" I said, the frustration returning. "I never stopped anyone from talking to Jenna, nor have I stopped Jenna from doing anything!"
"It's perfectly alright for you to think that way, Bradley, because you don't realize the influence you hold over people," Mom said. "How your actions and behavior can sway people to act a certain way. It can be to please you, or in deference to you, but it is there."
"Why?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"Because you're a leader, honey. People your age look up to you for guidance. It's not just on the court, but off the court as well. When they saw you icing out Jenna, they all did the same." She leaned forward, her explanation methodical and clear. "It was not done out of malice or forethought; it's just part of how people are, especially kids. To your team, you are worth far more than Jenna is. So they automatically emulated you. That had a compound effect, leading to Jenna herself being isolated. She is a child, too, Bradley, so she reacted the way any girl her age would. She couldn't directly affect you, so she targeted Alex."
As Mom put all of it that way, things began to click for me. It was like a complex battle map finally coming into focus. I saw the chain of events, the cause and effect, my own passive actions at the center of it all, and how they had skewered the situation for the person I cared about most.
"What should I do then? How do I fix this?" I asked, my voice laced with a desperation I couldn't hide.
Mom smiled a sad, gentle smile. "The same way it started, by changing how you act." When I looked at her, confused, she continued. "You need to begin by changing the way you interact with others, honey. Basketball may be your passion, but that does not mean you forget the people who have been with you and supported you. When was the last time you did anything with your friends that did not involve the conversation revolving around the game?"
I had no answer to it. Absolutely none.
Mom caressed my cheek. "My sweet, sweet Bradley, you need to form relationships with people beyond the value they provide to your game. Jenna and Alex were the only people you interacted with who were remotely not contributing to your improvements in the game. One of them is now your girlfriend, while the other you have completely removed from your circle because, subconsciously, you saw no value in her. People are more than what they can do for you, honey."
As soon as Mom said that I was reminded of what Dad had told me on the court that night. His and Mom's voices repeated in unison in my head, two sides of the same truth clicking into place.
"The first thing you need to do is go and talk to Alex today," Mom said, her voice a calm, clear directive. "Once you sort things out with her, that will give you the courage and understanding to go and sort things out with Jenna as well."
Just then, Erin came into the kitchen, all set and ready for school, her backpack already on. "Why did you sleep so much yesterday?" she asked, looking at me with pure, childish curiosity.
"I was just too tired from practice," I said, the simple excuse feeling a world away from the real, complicated truth.
"Can we head out for school before it gets late?" Erin asked.
"Yeah," I agreed.
As I stood up, Mom stood up as well as she hugged me "Think on what we spoke. I know you will take the right decisions."
"I will," I told her, and I meant it.
She kissed Erin, telling her to have a fun day at school, and then looked at me, a world of love and support in her eyes. Erin and I then walked out and boarded the car with Harris as we headed for school.
…
The walk into school was a gauntlet of my own making. Every corner I turned, I expected to see her, and the awkwardness and shame coiled in my gut. When I finally reached our first class, I paused at the door, taking a steadying breath before walking in.
My eyes found her immediately. Alex was already there, but she was sitting in a different place from usual, on the opposite side of the room. And the seats on either side of her were pointedly occupied. She must have felt me looking, because her head lifted. We made eye contact for a fraction of a second—just long enough for me to see the cold, distant look in her eyes—before she broke it off, focusing again on her notebook as if I didn't exist.
It was a deliberate, public statement. A gut punch. I felt a hot wave of guilt and hurt, but I crushed it inside myself, forcing my expression to remain neutral. I turned, walked to the back of the classroom, and sat down in the empty seat next to Patrick.
I could feel their surprise. David, Leo, and Patrick were amazed.
"Dude, you alright?" Leo asked, his voice a low whisper. "Why didn't you pick up the call yesterday?"
I didn't look at him, my gaze fixed on the back of Alex's head across the room. "I got into a fight with Alex," I admitted, the words tasting like ash. "But I'll fix it. So for now, I'm sitting with you guys."
David patted me on the back, a heavy, reassuring gesture. "If you need any help, man, we're here for you."
Patrick and Leo gave quiet, firm nods of agreement. The teacher started the class, but I didn't hear a word.
The rest of the day went just the same. It became a torturous, silent routine. In the crowded hallway between classes, my eyes would find hers automatically. For a split second, we would make eye contact, and in that moment, I'd feel a jolt of the previous night's pain. Then her face would become a blank, neutral mask, and she would break it off, her gaze focusing on something, anything, else. I forced myself to do the same, my own emotions not being reflected on my face, even as the hollowness in my chest grew. I wanted to talk to her so badly but a part of me still resented how it all went down, and I couldn't take that step of vulnerability towards her. I was being a coward.
At lunch, I grabbed my tray and headed to our usual table. Leo, David, and Patrick were already there, but the usual loud, easy banter was absent. They looked up as I approached, their expressions concerned. I couldn't find Alex in the mess hall and it ate away at me, building up the guilt I felt.
I gave them a rundown of what had happened between me and Alex. I kept it brief, sticking to the facts. The argument. The accusation. The fact that she blamed me, and by extension our group, for her social isolation.
"But that's crazy," Leo denied it at first. "We didn't do anything to her friends."
"That's the point, Leo." I said, my voice tired. "And after the talk I had with my mom this morning, I think she's right. It's partly our fault." I looked at him directly. "I iced out Jenna, and you guys have done the same, subconsciously."
"What? No, I didn't," he shot back defensively.
"Think about it," I said, my voice calm, analytical. I pointed out the instances that would force him to accept the fact. "Leo, last week, Jenna tried to say 'hi' to you at your locker. You had your headphones in. You just turned your back and kept looking for your book. You didn't mean to, but you did."
Leo's defensive expression faltered, a flicker of dawning realization in his eyes.
I turned to David. "And David, remember when we were picking teams for that group project and her name came up? You said, 'Nah, let's just stick to the team.' You were just trying to keep the group tight, but you excluded her. I also agreed with you there because I wanted Alex on our team but the fact remains that we have not been the best of people."
Even Patrick, who had been a quiet observer, looked down at his tray. I knew he understood. He'd seen how our group operated from the outside.
I continued, the words feeling heavy. "When I started ignoring Jenna, you guys followed my lead. Not out of malice, just... because that's how groups work. We created a circle, and we left her on the outside. So she lashed out at the only person she could: Alex."
The table was silent for a long moment, the usual cafeteria noise a distant buzz.
"Damn," Leo finally whispered, the fight completely gone from his voice. "I never even thought about it like that."
"Me neither," David added, looking genuinely ashamed.
They finally understood. It wasn't about heroes or villains. It was just about cause and effect. And we were the cause.
"How do we fix this?" David asked.
"First I gotta set things right with Alex then we can make an effort in Jenna's direction. You guys think up on somethings until then. We will talk more about this at my place tomorrow"
"Done" David said resolutely while Patrick and Leo nodded. We finished our lunches and went on with the last class of the day.
The final bell was a mercy. I moved through the crowded hallways like a ghost, the usual end-of-day energy a dull, grating noise. My day had been a series of silent, painful encounters with the ghost of Alex's presence. I reached my locker, my movements mechanical, my only thought to get my bag and escape to the court—the one place where things still made sense. After that I had to see Alex and stop this skirting around the issue and face my demons. I couldn't lose her to my cowardice.
I was just closing the metal door when I felt it: a short tug on my sleeve.
I turned, my body tense but the person standing behind me wasn't the angry, or cold girl from the morning. This was someone else. It was Alex, but her defenses were completely gone. Her eyes were red-rimmed and fixed on the floor, and she was holding onto my sleeve like a lifeline. She was in a state of pure vulnerability.
"Don't—don't go," she whispered, her voice so small I could barely hear it over the hallway noise. "Just stay with me today.... Please."
The single, earnest "please" shattered my own hurt and anger. In that moment, practice, my duties as captain, the entire game of basketball—it all felt incredibly small and unimportant.
She needed me.
I gave a single, firm nod. "Yes," I said, my own voice quiet.
I spotted Patrick walking down the hallway and quickly moved to intercept him, keeping my voice low. "Patrick. Can you do me a favor? Tell Coach I'm not going to make it to practice today. Family thing."
He looked from me to Alex, who was still standing by my locker, and a look of quiet understanding passed over his face. He just nodded.
I walked back over to Alex. The hallway was starting to empty out, leaving us in a quiet, fragile bubble. She still wasn't looking at me.
"Where do you wanna go?" I asked softly and then joined hands with her squeezing it in an attempt to comfort her.
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This is their first major fight and I don't wanna drag this out too much just two more chapters to fully flesh things out and move on.