We haven't seen the newest Holt couple in a while, so here's our speculation on why!
People with PTSD often dissociate when put in similar situation to initial traumatic event.
Luca gasped soundlessly as Sario's hot lips settled on his neck, teeth scraping over his skin and then soft tongue soothing the wound. His hands wound into Sario's tight curls and clenched at the roots, pulling a low hiss from Sario.
"Scratching me with your claws, kitten?"
Luca opened his mouth to sharply retort that he had not given his approval for that nickname, but the only thing that left his lips was a breathy moan as Sario turned his attention to Luca's jaw. He turned his head to give Sario better access and felt his breath catch as Sario kissed up his jaw to behind his ear. "Fuck," he whispered as pleasure shot through his nerves. His first time with Sario had not been bad by any means, but they had not really taken their time. It had been desperate, at least on his part, and over so fast. And then he had nearly died from his broken body trying to work properly.
But that would not be a danger this time. Sario would be gentle, and Noah had said that his heat would not kick in again for at least a few months. So he was safe. This was safe. He would be okay. He would be. He had to be.
Sario's fingers gently worked his shirt off and then traced lines across his stomach.
Luca realized belatedly that Sario was tracing his scars and looked away, tears burning in his eyes. He hated the scars, hated that each one meant a past pain all Sario's sweetness could not erase.
A hand gripped his chin and turned his head back. Sario looked so worried. He was probably scared he had done something wrong. "Luca? Are you okay? Wait, no, stupid question. You're about to cry. You're so obviously not okay."
Before Sario lost his mind and started to really ramble, Luca raised his hand and covered Sario's mouth. "Sh. I'm okay. I got stuck in the past for a sec."
Sario gently pushed Luca's hand aside. "But you're okay?" Sario's hands cupped Luca's face, his skin warm and scented by their bathroom soap.
Luca nodded. "Just make the past go away."
Sario's lips curved in a sad little smile. "Just temporarily. I can't fix trauma with sex. I'm not a magician."
"I think sex fixes trauma quite nicely," Luca replied, his hands wandering down Sario's shirt and unbuttoning as he went. "I like that you dress up sometimes."
"Only practical finals and business with Darius get me in a suit." Then Sario's eyes narrowed, his smile slipping into menace territory. "Do you have a suit kink, my dear little Luca?"
Embarrassment crept up Luca's face in hot waves. "No," he denied weakly.
Sario chuckled and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Luca's collarbone. "You totally do," he murmured against Luca's heated skin. "I'll remember that."
"Please don't," Luca mumbled, attempting to cover his face.
Sario caught his wrists and pinned them to the bed. His eyes darted to Luca's. "Is this okay?"
Rolling his eyes, Luca retorted, "I don't care how you fuck me, genius. I'm just trying to get laid, maybe have an orgasm and black out the world for a minute or two."
Sario's brows came together. "Maybe? What do you mean, maybe? Isn't that a given?" Then panic streaked across his face. "Oh, my god. I'm a fucking idiot. Everyone before me was horrible."
Luca had to laugh. "You're adorable."
Sario scowled in a way that was far too cute for his own good. "Do you say that just because I'm younger than you?"
Luca laughed again. "No, you just say things so adorably sometimes that I can't help but point it out. And it doesn't hurt that you're younger," he added.
Sario had Luca's sweatpants off before he could even react to the fingers curling under the waistband. "No underwear, hm?"
"Don't read into it, asshole. I was just too lazy when I got up, okay?"
"You're awfully defensive," Sario teased.
"Shut up unless you're going to start using that mouth to seduce me."
Sario grinned. "You're already in bed asking me to fuck you. I don't know how seducing works at this point."
"Put it on me then, asshole," Luca snapped, halfway between losing patience and teasing Sario back.
"Is that my nickname? Cause if so, you definitely can't use that in public. People will think we're breaking up or something." Sario trailed his fingers down the inside of Luca's arm, causing goosebumps to erupt wherever his finger touched. "And although the press would eat it up, that wouldn't be very good for whatever this thing is."
"This thing is whatever we want it to be." Luca leaned up and bit at Sario's bottom lip. "And I want it to be sex right now."
"Impatient, much?"
"Stop talking, Sario. If you say one more word that is not actively involved in fucking me, I swear I will invent a new form of torture for you."
Sario bent down, set his lips right against Luca's ear, and whispered in a tone that sent shivers down Luca's spine, "You're so demanding. It's sexy." He pulled back with a diabolical grin. "Like that?"
"Exactly like that," Luca sighed as one of Sario's hands anchored his waist and the other finished undressing himself with surprising dexterity considering the pants in question were tailored and had two buttons and a zipper. He closed his eyes and let himself be consumed by the feeling of Sario's fingers roaming his body in all the right ways. Jumping when Sario's lips settled on his, he fought to keep his eyes closed and stay in the moment.
Sario pulled off just enough to ask, "You okay, kitten?"
"Fine," Luca gasped out as Sario trailed a finger down his stomach. He relished the slow slide of Sario's hand across his skin as it continued its downward path.
But then it stopped, fingers resting lightly on his inner thigh.
He opened his eyes and lifted his head to glare at Sario. "What the fuck, asshole? I don't want to be edged right now!"
Strangely, Sario seemed too shocked to be offended.
And Luca realized what had given Sario pause. He must not have noticed the first time, he thought bitterly.
"Y-you don't have—"
"Yes, I know," Luca interrupted. "Thank you for stopping to point out that I don't have balls."
Sario flinched, and Luca regretted his harsh tone. Sario was sweet, gentle, almost childlike at times. "What happened? Can I ask that?"
Luca let his head drop back onto the sheets. "It's the same answer as all the shit I'm dealing with. Paolo." He knew that would not satisfy Sario's horrible curiosity, so he continued, "He told me I was a whore so the only way I got to come was like one."
Sario was silent, but he was seething when Luca glanced down at him. "The fucking bastard maimed you!"
"He could've taken everything," Luca said, repeating the only thing that had kept him from the deepest darkness of his pessimism.
"That's not the point!" Sario cupped Luca's face in shaking hands. "The point is that he hurt you. In more ways than he'll ever be able to pay for in this life. I promise you, when I get a hold of him, I will make him wish he was dead a thousand times over and then send him to the depths of hell." His voice was cold and hard, but at the same time his eyes were so soft and caring.
After a long pause, Luca changed the subject. "Can we get back to the fucking now? Please?"
Sario smiled, but Luca knew he would not be forgetting Paolo any time soon. "Whatever you'd like, kitten." He dragged Luca by his hips down to the edge of the bed and came in for another kiss as he worked Luca open with his fingers. It felt like hours and yet only seconds before he was inside, rocking almost lazily in a way that made Luca want to scream. His every movement hit just right, dragging over that beautiful place where the outside world fell away in hot white sparks and made his eyes roll back in pure pleasure.
Luca dug his fingernails into Sario's back, fighting the urge to rake his nails down Sario's sides like a fucking tiger.
"Come whenever you want, kitten," Sario growled into his ear, breaths harshly punctuating the quiet of their bedroom. "I want to feel it."
That was enough to send him tumbling over the edge, his body tightening as his mind floated free. It was a beautiful euphoria. He was kind of sad when he came down and it was over.
Sario brushed kisses across his cheeks, lips, and neck. Then his tongue brushed roughly over Luca's collarbone. "I like the taste of your sweat. It tastes like your sweet pheromones." He chuckled. "It's like dessert."
Luca shoved at him half-heartedly. "Stop it."
Sario's smile slid away. "You're okay, right? I didn't hurt you?"
Luca shook his head with a faint smile. "No pain. Don't worry."
The smile came back. "Good. Now we should clean up. I doubt either of us wants to stay laying here in our sweat for much longer."
"I thought you said you liked my sweat," Luca teased.
Sario took another lick, this time across Luca's stomach. The wet trail left behind cooled rapidly, sending goosebumps rippling across Luca's skin. "Let's get you into a bath."
Luca pretended to pout. "But what if I don't want to get rid of what you put inside me?" The question startled even him. Where the hell had that come from?
Sario's eyes went huge. "Um…I don't know." His eyes slowly began to sparkle in the way they had when Luca had complimented his suit. "Is this another kink of yours, kitten?" Whenever Sario discovered these things, it was like a demon had taken possession of his mouth. "You want me to fill you up and then make sure you keep it inside?"
Luca blushed so hard it felt like his skin was actually on fire. He was not going to dignify those questions with an answer.
As if blushing was a chain reaction, Sario promptly turned crimson as he came back to his usual anxiety-ridden self. "Oh, my god. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say that, I swear!"
Luca wound a hand into Sario's hair, pulled him down, and silenced him with a lingering kiss. When their lips parted, he gave Sario a severe look. "Stop apologizing. It's fine." He consciously softened his expression and watched Sario melt in real time. "Bath now?"
Sario quickly nodded and pushed off the bed, heading to their bathroom and turning on the water.
Too exhausted to get up and follow, Luca stayed sprawled on his back.
But it did not matter because Sario came back in a minute and scooped him off the bed with a surprising combination of gentleness and strength. He smiled at Luca's stunned expression as he deposited him in the large bathtub already half-filled with hot water and bubbles. "Hope you don't mind the bubble bath," Sario commented as he stepped into the tub and sat down against the edge.
"I don't mind," Luca hastily assured him. "I don't mind at all." He was glad for the fluffy white mounds surrounding them. He did not want Sario to continue looking at his scars like they did not make him broken. To prove his point, he took a handful of the soapy mountain nearest him and scrubbed it across his shoulders. The bubbles smelled like orange spice. Sario seemed obsessed with that smell. It was the scent of their soap and shampoo, and Luca suspected Sario even had a cologne with that scent. He did not mind it; he even liked it, but it was weird that Sario seemed so infatuated with it.
It was quiet and a little awkward as they each cleaned themselves, Sario evidently still embarrassed about the…what would it be called? Whatever kink he had last teased Luca about. That was what still had Sario tied in knots.
And Luca was not much better. He had genuinely wanted what he had asked for, but he had no idea where the courage or stupidity to say it had come from. He was used to taking what he was given and never asking for more. Because being assertive had almost gotten him killed.
But with Sario, the world did not exactly feel safer, but he felt as if there was a steady wall between him and the cruelty of the world. And that wall was the only reason he was still sane. Without Sario beside him, sex would have been terrifying, another experience to be shoved into a locked room, especially without his usual suppressants and drugs. But he was calm, almost at peace. And it was weird. Wonderful, but very, very weird.
Sario suddenly became clingy again once they decided to get out, offering his hand to Luca like some old-fashioned prick so he would not slip. Some of the water had splashed out of the tub, so the supporting hand was actually kind of nice. He dried Luca first with one of the fluffy blue towels and then himself. When they left the bathroom, he insisted Luca sit on the clean half of the bed while he dug around in their dressers for comfortable clothes.
Luca ended up wearing Sario's clothes since all of his own clothes were too rough with newness or too tight. He had never thought a day would come when his loose jeans felt too tight, but here he was. He did manage to wrap himself in his ratty brown hoodie, though. "It's my emotional support hoodie," he snapped when Sario raised an eyebrow.
Sario held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fair enough."
Luca sat on the edge of the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room, watching as Sario changed the sheets. Once the clean sheets had been pulled up over the pillows and Sario was looking at him again, he said quietly, "I want to know what happened to those boys."