A week had passed and Lance had mellowed out enough to lull the both of us into a false sense of security. I scooped my mass of hair which was down to my waist now into as controlled a bun as I could manage and started the work of stringing up all of the newly cleaned laundry on a clothesline in the woods. Emerald and Donte were in such honeymoon bliss I allowed them a week of no chores to themselves, which of course meant someone had to pick up the slack.
It was fall so the threat of snow loomed over me as I strung up all the garments. The forecast said it would be dry but it wasn't quite reliable enough to loom off my dread. I sensed something irritating and stressful was heading my way and I had been stupid enough to think snow on the clothesline was the headliner to my sense of impending doom.
The sound of Jesse's footsteps approaching from somewhere behind me was hardly cause for alarm and I continued to pin shirt after shirt on the line. Jesse reached me quicker than usual and I finally turned to see what his malfunction was only to grimace at the look on his face.
"Look at this."
I reached out for the slip of scrapbook paper and examined it. I read the words once. Then again. Then I met Jesse's complete and utter silence and deadpanned.
"There's no way he actually did it."
When Jesse answered me with no sarcastic remark I hissed, dropped the basin of laundry and started to charge back towards the cabins. When I reached the front of the cabin and saw the obvious tire marks left I ran a hand over my head and froze. Jesse stood beside me equally tensed.
Emerald's blissful voice interrupted us as she approached the cabin with Donte a ways behind her.
"What's wrong? You guys look pissed."
Jesse answered for me, voice somewhere between disbelief and exasperation.
"Lance stole the fucking van to drive to Sleeping Hollow."
Emerald choked out a sound of horror as Donte furrowed both brows. He stopped right in front of me and from the look on his face I knew I looked like I was about to explode.
"Emerald and I can watch the kids. It's been a week anyways."
My jaw was so tight I felt like I might snap all of my teeth in half from how hard I was clenching them. I was on the cusp edge of falling into insanity when Donte hugged me to his chest and started to pat my back. He had grown so much in the years since we left. I relaxed in his embrace and allowed some of my frustration to dwindle. When he let go I turned to Jesse and announced aloud.
"It looks like you and I are taking another trip to Sleeping Hollow."
Jesse scoffed, his usual flippant sarcasm escaping before he could even try to stop it.
"Every couple's dream honeymoon, the haunted woods. Aren't you excited, honey?"
I laughed loudly and made a sound of exasperation before turning to face Emerald.
"We're going to have to borrow your truck."
She nodded, grinning in response to Jesse's banter like usual. Emerald loved to encourage him, she personally found it hilarious. Donte assured the both of us again, putting an arm around his mate's shoulder and handing us their keys.
"It's alright, we don't mind really."
As Jesse and I started to make for the car, Donte shouted after us. I turned to catch his admonition with weary acceptance.
"Try to go easy on the kid. He doesn't know any better."
The dread I felt was only growing as we climbed into the beat old pickup truck. Lance knew a lot about witches but I could write a book on everything he didn't know about Sleeping Hollow. We started to drive like hell, moving south. There was a lump in my throat. Ever since our exit from the Valleriano packlands I had been firmly avoiding even moving an inch in the southern direction.
Jesse avoided looking at me as we drove. My nerves were so spiked the air of the truck had practically been infected. Eventually even he couldn't take the pressure and he spoke quietly.
"Just because we go south doesn't mean you'll see her."
I swallowed the bitter feeling on my tongue. I remembered standing in the river staring at her and the way she didn't fucking say anything. Her face was scared and sometimes when I remembered the look she had guilt started to eat at my stomach lining. I rubbed a hand over my face and muttered aloud.
"I need a drink."
"You need several."
I smiled a little and he met my eyes finally. His voice was hesitant when he spoke again but honest. Jesse didn't get vulnerable often and I was careful not to do anything to scare him off when he did.
"I always thought if I met my mate that everything would just work. That it would be perfect all the time and we'd be in love, because that's what happens when you're soulmates."
My face was openly sour at his words and I stared at the pitch black of the woods as we drove and slowly dropped in elevation heading away from the mountainous region. I had intentionally never spoken about her after leaving. Jesse tried to ask me about it a few times and every other time I completely shut the topic down. Moving even vaguely in her direction made things harder. I answered him.
"I think the worst part about all of it is that she was."
Jesse's eyes found mine in the darkness. There was a look I didn't recognise there.
"She was everything I have ever wanted."
I remembered the gleam in her hungry eyes in the dark. I remembered the way she looked at me like a prayer. The way my name sounded on her tongue.
"Being with her felt better than the best high. She looked and sounded and tasted better than my favorite food and my favorite song. She was beautiful and chaotic and when things were good I would rather have had the sound of her heartbeat for lunch than food."
My voice was faraway. I was vaguely aware of myself in the car moving in her direction. I remembered her dark curls flopping over her eyes after she cut her hair.
I remembered the day I left. I remembered the scream in my chest and the way part of me was begging for her to just say that she was sorry, even if it wasn't true.
"Even leaving couldn't make me hate her. I think the worst part about it is that when you're soulmates there's no end to the amount of damage you can do to each other."
Jesse was quiet for a long time as we moved south. When he finally spoke again I could indistinctly sense that the way he had looked at me was with desire. Not of me but of my predicament. In the strangest and most fucked up way he was jealous.
"What do you think will happen if you do see her?"
I closed my eyes and forced myself to fall asleep rather than answer him.