Later on the outskirts of Axel, just outside the wall, a couple walked farther and farther from the walls. A man clad in red from the waist down and black from the waist up, with a cheap sword on hip and a painfully embedded serrated chain on his right forearm, walked next to a beautiful girl clad in blue with a miniskirts and long blue waist length hair.
Damn I knew that jackass was poor. How did I spend all his money in a registration fee and a cheap single sword?
Crim Don't worry about it; you got the beautiful goddess Aqua on your side. Mere toads won't even be worth the dirt under my heels.
Okay Aqua I believe you. Just please don't get killed or something.
Rude. You think the weakest monster in the weakest town is going to get me killed? What happened to all the trust you had on the gods before?
I left it in the dog pooped ground.
Just as the two bickered, a green creature way bigger than a bull jumped out of the forest. His hungry yellow eyes had spotted prey walking defensibly his way.
Holy shit that's big! Remind me not to pick anything that says giant spiders in a quest, nope just nope.
Psss kusukusukusu! Why are you so pale that's literally the weakest monster in the world HA HA
Crim took a serious look at the creature. It was big enough to swallow him whole, it had so much body mass that it shakes the ground every time it landed, he could see its thick skin all the way from here. Everything about it screamed serious trouble. He took a better look at the flimsy and unarmed goddess he was expecting to contest with this monster. She was still laughing her ass off. He pissedly thought. If we survive this, there's no witness around. He prepared to draw the sword hanging from his waist in case he needs it.
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOOBUARGH! [Severe electric shock, collapses with smoke coming out of his body
Hiiii don't scare me like that you parasite leech! What's gotten into you, why do you look well done?
Crim [Coughs smoke] WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? Shit the frog!
The frog had closed the distance while he had gotten electrocuted and the goddess had preoccupantly not blasted it out of existence with some godly powers. Just as Crim feared, she barely stood her ground holding her sides in laughter feeling no ounce of the eminent danger approaching. He jumped straight to pick the sword he had dropped.
OWOWOWOWOOAOOAWOAWOSHITTTBUARG! [Severe electric shock, collapses]
KUSUKUSUKUSKUSUKUSU HAHAHAHAH HAHAAA! What are you even doing!? It's hilarious! You look like fried chicken HA HA!
KUSUKUSUKUSKUSUKUSU HAHAHAHAH HAHAAA! What are you even doing!? It's hilarious! You look like fried chicken HA HA!
Crim (Remember Crim, survive and there won't be anybody to save her.) Fuck that sword it's cursed, I felt the shock the moment I tried to draw it.
Aqua HAHA HAHA HAAAA! You got scammed! You got scammed the moment I took my eyes off you, poor little hapless boy, your lost whiteout my divine guidance. Here I'll seal the curse for you [[Seal]]
Crim (Not an ounce of divinity will be left after I'm done with you.) [Tries to grab the sword a third time] OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKBUFARGH! [Collapses crisply]
Aqua KUSUKUSUKUSUKUSUKUSU! [Laughs] Your hilarious! [[Heal]]
A green light came over Crim body and healed him from crispy to slightly burn. Aqua felt like he deserves to burn a little and held back on the heal.
YOU USSELESS GODDESS! You didn't seal shit, I still got electrocuted!
Oh that's because the sword wasn't cursed to begin with. My powers aren't so weak I couldn't spot a curse from right under my nose. I just though it be funny to see you do it again.
(She just sealed her fate right there.) Fuck it just do something about it, the frog is closing and I need the sword!
Why do you even need a weapon when you got me? But sure Leech. I'll use my holy power to find out what's wrong with you.
Aqua closed her eyes and concentrated, light began to swirl around her arms and then. PUHAHAHAHAHAAH OH MY THIS IS HILARIUS! There's no curse, this is divine magic. You got punished by the heavens for dragging me down without permission, and now anytime you pick a weapon with the intend to use it you get electrocuted HA HA!
(If I live through this I'm enlisting for the demon king army and scorching the heavens as my next goal. Humm!?) Shit Aqua look out!
Aqua Eh? GYAAAAAAHHH!
Crim AQUAAAAAAA!
The giant frog closed in enough to use his secret move and launched its tongue after the vibrant blue colored prey in its sight. The goddess fell divinely on the frog's mouth as it closed, leaving just her twitching legs outside, as the frog lifted its head to let gravity do its work and swallow the tasty treat.
Crim Did that fucking Amphibian just beat me to the punch!? No focus. I have to save her before she gets digested. Release her this instant you fucking frog of the pond! [Punches the frog]
It was ineffective, just like hitting a tractor tire with his bare fist. He began to throw an entire barrage of his best punches and kicks but it did nothing. A blue boot fell just at his side. Aqua was almost completely down the frog stomach. In his desperation Crim hit the frog with his right arm, hoping to pierce the creature skin with the spikes of the chain. It failed; he didn't even see a small puncture. Crim looked at the chain in his arm and he remembered that it could in fact grow to great lengths. He spread his five fingers. As if on command the chain began spilling endlessly on the ground. Crim took not a second and tossed it around the frog neck and tightened it as if to choke the giant creature to death.
DAMMIT DIE ALREADY
It was once again ineffective, if anything the chains weren't even pressing against the toad skin. Even under his grip it just felt like just strong wind when he remembered something.
Crim [[Pain of the Chains of Calamity]]
A burning sensation ran through his right forearm and his hands, dozens upon dozens of small spikes began to feel piercing his skin as blood spilled out the wounds. Crim looked up at the frog with his teeth grit. The neck of the creature was spilling blood and turning black, the creature was convulsing as its breathing had abruptly been cut off. It began to spin around over and over, dragging Crim along until the frog finally died and collapsed.
UWAAAAAAAH! [Cries]
Aqua I need healing [Bleeds]
WHYYYYYYAAAAAAHHH! [Cries]
Aqua I said I…. Need healing. [Bleeds]
THANK YOU! WHAAAAA THANK YOU LEECH UWAAAAAA!
Then heal me…. Useless goddess. [Faints]
Oh right sorry. [[Sacred Heal]] Are you alright Leech?
The hell didn't you use that one beforeooh shit! [[Pain of the Light Breeze]]….. Uff, now heal me again.
[[Heal]]
Crim returned the chain to its harmless breeze state the moment he began to feel pain again after recovering from the blood loss. Aqua whipped the tears from her face and jump tackled Crim down crying.
Crim Thank you! Thaaaank youuu! I was so scared!
Man do you stink, get off! Fucking frog, easy my ass, this was the hardest I ever fought in my life, and you. Aren't you ashamed? You got eaten before you could even do shit, and you call yourself a goddess?
Crim I don't call myself. I am a goddess! I'll show you. I'll defeat that one by myself! [Charges]
That one-AAAAAAAHHH THERES ANOTHER! WAIT IDIOT DON'T FIGHT, RUN!
Pay attention Leech. I'll show you what a goddess can do. You foolish beast who defies the gods, how dare you raise your hand against us! You'll pay for this! [[God Blow]]
YEEEEEESSSSS DIVINE POWER AT LAST! I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU USELESS GODDESS!
Aqua God blow is a technique that carries the pain and sorrow of a goddess. Anyone it strikes will perish!
Aqua punch wrapped in golden light hit the body of the frog and sent ripples across its skin, a visible result from when Crim hit the other frog and did nothing; however it did absolutely nothing else. Aqua smiled innocently after she realized how screwed she was.
Aqua You know now that I look closer. You froggies are kind cute.
The frog bent down and swallowed the lousy blue snack. Aqua let a cute Ghui sound as she was once again being swallowed.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! GODS WHY WHYYYY UGH! It is as I feared, she's completely useless, and god seeing it on perspective that was pathetic. I hope nobody saw me punch the frog from before.
Anguished and broken out of denial. Embarrassed for having done the same as the mentally challenged goddess, Crim rolled on the ground screaming to spell the cringe out of his body. He knew full well, that he would have to feel the pain of the chain once again if he wanted to save the goddess, but he didn't want to. So he lay on his left side while he tried to think of a way out. The frog enjoying his meal, rich in protein and good for hydrating too. Then amongst the tranquility of the plains, a memory resurfaced and a thought occurred.
Crim [[Pain of the Chains of Calamity]]
Crim braced himself to feel the piercing pain, yet nothing happened. He took hold of the chain and began to get a feel of it. It felt windy, all the way till he reached the two links at the tip which where the goal of his little experiment. The two links had a metallic feel to them, just as Crim had hoped they would.
Crim Oh this is it! [[Pain of the Molten Magma]]
Two meters long in links out of five meters starting from the tip of the chain light up in hot red steel. The grass under the chain immediately caught fire and Crim tried to levitate the chain as he did so before. The chain began to float as if he were holding it all along.
This might actually work.
He stood firm and swiped his hand in the way of the frog. The chain caught speed before his eyes and lashed the head of the creature before he could blink, the sound of flesh searing and rendering apart was heard before blood gushed out of the creature as its cranium split in two. The frog died instantly and fell with its mouth open, spilling the contents all over the place. There slid down a stinky wet meal.
UWAAAAAA THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
(Ulysses would cry if he saw Poseidon like this.)
THANK YOU LEECH GUHYAAAAA!
AQUA!
Before Aqua could get up from the ground, a long sticky tongue wrapped around her waist and sling shot her inside the mouth of a different frog.
Crim: Wait I'll save you! [Lashes the frog head with the burning chain]
Once again all I took was a shake of his palm and the chain killed the creature in a single lash. The lash generated from the molting hot magma chain cut through the creature head all the way, searing the flesh and leaving a bloody hole that reached all the way inside the mouth of the beast. The frog fell dead on the spot and Aqua spilled out its mouth.
Crim THANK— GYYYYAAAAH!
As it's attracted by the vibrant blue of the goddess, another frog tongue caught Aqua by the waist just seconds after spilling out the third death frog. But as if refusing to lose its prey, a fifth frog threw her tongue at her and caught her thighs mid sling route to the fourth frog mouth. The frogs began a tug war over the goddess. She felt like her organs would spill out of her mouth from the tongue squeeze under her breast, and her legs felt like they would rip apart from the pressure on her thighs. Her screams and face gestures got so ridiculous that Crim thought he was watching a cartoon for a moment. A molting hot red chain lashed the tongue of the fourth frog in two. And with no one pulling Aqua by the waist, she sling shot inside the fifth frog mouth. The fourth frog began to shake violently as foam came out of its mouth and gallons of blood out the tongue, it died shortly after. Crim traced an ark with his hand and the chain lashed dead the fifth frog. He prepared himself to see Aqua spill out crying when he noticed something horrifying.
Aqua [Spills out the frog] WHAAAHHH WHY MEE—
Aqua DON'T LOOK BACK, RUN!
As if she was told to look back right that instant, Aqua turned around, and what she saw was nothing less than nightmare fuel. Fifteen frogs where closing in on her. Coming out of the ground and the forest, the commotion had drawn then all out together. Aqua nearly pees herself as she began desperately running and slipping on the death frog fluids in a vain attempt to get away.
NOOOOOOOOOOO! [Slips]
DAMMIT!
Crim charged with the burning chain at the frogs and the frogs tongue charged at the slipping bait goddess.
WHYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE BHUAAAAAAA!
Fifteen death frogs and twelve goddess meals later.
Get the fuck away from me. You smell like sixteen different frog stomachs! [Runs away]
WHAAAHH DON'T ABANDON ME! DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND! [Chases after]
Take a bath first! [Continues running]
One long bath and a guild report later at one of the tables of the guild.
BUAAAAHHH THE FROGS. THE FROGS ARE COMING FOR ME! BUAAAHHH! [Pauses to drink bear]
Lady Aqua please calm down, you're alright now. The frogs can't get you anymore. [Warmly pats Aqua head]
You should seen it. I was terrified the first six times she got eaten, but then it got so hilarious I'd needed healing on my sides after it was over HA HA!
Crim did the signature laugh that Aqua kept throwing at him since they met and Luna furiously shot back.
STAY OUT!
Said to Crim who was doing an exercise that consisted of jumping back and forwards to get inside and out the guild to piss off Luna.
Crim: Oh man that was such a good time. But anyways is late now. Aqua, let's go find a motel to sleep.
UWAAAHHH THE FROGS, THE FROGS! [Drinks bear]
Crim: Hey do I look stupid? I know you stopped crying long ago you useless goddess, come here and stop wasting the reward.
WHAAAA THERES A MEAN RED FROG BY THE DOOR!
I'll fucking kill you bitch! [Walks inside the guild]
GET OUT! And don't come whiting two hundredth meters of this place or I'll call the guards.
Fucking boy friendless bitch mind your own fucking business. [Leaves the guild]